Page 4 of Tear Me Down

His face softens, and his eyes flutter closed as he tries to contain his emotions.

“I know.”

“Okay, then. So, think about it rationally, and like you would if it didn’t involve me. If it was anyone else, would it be smart to go?”

He opens his eyes again. A look of wonder and reluctance flashing across his gaze as he ponders for a moment.

“Yes,” he says hesitantly.

“Okay, then we’re going.”

His face hardens again, and that dark haze of impending death takes over his eyes.

“I don’t want him anywhere near you,” he seethes.

“He won’t be, I’m sure. There’s what, a hundred people at least invited to this thing? It’ll be fine. You'll be right there, and I won’t even eat or drink anything.” I smirk, trying to lighten his mood. He can’t help but grin before huffing out a chuckle and shaking his head. The first time I’ve seen him smile in a week, only for it to quickly fade.

“I was there when you were poisoned,” he whispers, regret laced within his words.

“Damien. This was not your fault. None of this was your fault. There was no way you could have known this was going to happen. You can’t eat and drink everything before I do, because if it was poisoned, then I’d lose you, and I couldn’t live with that. Dranan Hugo is not going to make us live in fear. We’re not going to give him that. Okay? We are not going to let him win. So, tomorrow night, we’re going to go to this party and play nice, and then we’re going to plan on how to take that motherfucker out.”

That devilish grin sprouts across his lips, and he holds me even tighter.

“God, I love you,” he says in a sultry tone.

“I love you, too,” I reply before he kisses me deeply. His tongue mildly teasing mine in a slow dance before he pulls back.

“I can’t wait to fuck your brains out and put a baby in you.” Ice shoots through my veins at his words. We hadn’t really talked about it since our short-lived bliss last week, and the thought is starting to make me nervous. Being poisoned definitely put some things into perspective. “Well, that’s different,” he says softly as his face falls. “Where did your mind go?”

“Nowhere. Just thinking,” I say softly after hesitating for only a moment. He takes a small breath, clearly noticing my uncertainty.

“Ashia…” he says timidly and hesitantly. “If that’s not what you want anymore…”

“No. I do. I just…” I take in a small breath. “Maybe now isn't the best time…”

“You don't think I can protect you?” His face tightens as if the words caused him physical pain, and my chest tightens to a coil.

“No, baby. That's not it.” I shake my head, trying to drive my point home.

“You still don’t trust me?”

“That’s not true,” I reply immediately and confidently.

“I promise, I'm not letting anything happen to you,” he says tightly, as if he’s pleading.

“I know that. I trust you, Damien, with my life, but it wouldn't just be my life. It's not possible for you to control everything, regardless of what you think. It's not you I don't trust, baby. It's everyone else.”

“I don’t care if I have to stay within one foot of you for the rest of your life. They’re not getting near you again,” he speaks through gritted teeth.

“Damien, don’t be ridiculous.”

He reaches up to grasp my jaw in his hand and pushes up, lifting my chin so my face is only about an inch away from his. His lips graze mine for just a moment, long enough for me to feel the shakiness of his breath.

“I think we both know just how ridiculous I can be, little wolf,” he whispers. I lightly grip his wrist and run the pad of my thumb across the inside of it at his pulse point.

“It’s not a no, Damien. I swear. Let’s just wait a few weeks and then talk about it again once we have more control over the situation. Can you try to understand that? Please?” I look up at him with beseeching eyes, knowing that’s one of his weaknesses. A wave of relief floods me as his grip loosens, and he rests his forehead against mine again. I can feel his pain, the guilt and regret he feels, and I hate it. I hate having him think I doubt him or feel differently about him, because that’s not the truth. It feels like he’s wringing my heart like a wet towel. “I want this journey with you more than I’ve ever wanted anything. Let’s just give that part of our life some time.”

“I’ve waited my entire life for you,” he whispers, the words strained and tight.