Page 20 of Tear Me Down

“We were busting each other’s balls! I wasn’t thinking!”

“Clearly!”

“Alright, you two.” Carter holds his hands out like he’s trying to settle two dogs about to fight over food, and walks closer to me. “You said you got sick, are you okay?” he asks a little gentler, though it does nothing to ease my worries.

“I'm fine. I told him I'm fine.”

“Okay, did you hear anything on this phone call? Anywhere he could have gone?” he asks intently.

“No, I didn’t hear anything. I didn’t even realize he was on the phone until he hung up.”

“Okay. If it was that quick it was probably one of the moles. Zeke, you call Jeremy, and I'll call Darren and Bradley.” They spring into action, practically diving to grab their phones. Bright lights shining through the living room windows draw my attention and I snap my head towards the driveway to see Serena’s car pull in. A wave of disappointment floods me. Not that I'm nothappy to see her, but I'm saddened it’s not Damien coming back. After a few moments of Zeke and Carter continuing to scramble, she walks through the door.

“Hey!” she says excitedly as she shuts the door and turns around. Then, she grimaces, clearly sensing the tension. “Wow, the vibe is seriously dark in here.”

“Do you have your med kit in your car?” Carter asks her as soon as he hangs up.

“Yeah?”

“Can you check Ashia’s vitals?”

“Yeah, hold on.” She walks back out, only to walk back in just a few seconds later. “What’s wrong?” she inquires as she starts to unpack it.

“She threw up a little bit ago, and Damien got worried,” Carter says before putting his phone back to his ear. Ser scrunches her brows and digs through the bag a little faster.

“You got sick?” She walks me over to the couch to sit down and starts pulling out what she needs as she looks around the main floor. “Where’s the Big Bad Wolf?” she sneers and packs some attitude into that punch.

“I don’t know.” I roll my eyes and shake my head at her. “He said he was going to take care of something and then left. He didn’t tell any of us where he was going. He’s so stressed and anxious, I'm worried about him.”

She scoffs and mimics my shaking movements, like the idea ofmebeing worried abouthimis ridiculous.

“I’m sure he’s fine, Ash,” she spits out, and I narrow my eyes at her.

“Did you know he was going to kill himself that day?” I ask, afraid of the answer. If she knew, why wouldn’t she tell me? Surely my best friend would tell me if my boyfriend was going to end his life—no matter how she feels about him. Though, she hardly looks up at me with a gaze that screams guilt before it shifts to agitation, then she averts her stare and puts the blood pressure cuff on me. “Ser, why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I thought it was a very serious lapse in judgement in a very difficult situation. He thought the love of his life just died, and then you were okay. So, I didn’t think there’d be anything to worry about. I certainly didn’t want you to worry about it, and…” She hesitates and looks away again.

“And what?”

“I might have said some…not so nice things to him.” she mumbles, and I cock my head at her.

“What did you do?”

“I screamed at him…and hit him…and I asked him why he couldn’t have just stayed away from you…” She looks up at me with innocent eyes, but I shove my compassion towards her away.

“SERENA!”

“Hey, I apologized later. I was upset and angry. I had just done chest compressions on my best friend! I was scared, too!” she shouts and goes back to adjusting the cuff. My agitation fades and simmers into sadness as her true feelings surface. I need to try to remember that she went through a lot as well, and that it wasn’t just me and Damien that were affected.

“I’m sorry…”

“Stop fucking apologizing, Ashia. It’s not your fault you almost died,” she snaps at me.

“It’s not his either, Ser,” I retort.

“I know that! I’m sorry. I get it. Okay? I should've said something to you,” she says with feigned understanding, like she doesn’t actually believe what she’s saying.

“Well, now he’s just stormed out of the house going God knows where to do God knows what.” She listens closely to her stethoscope, and I can tell that she’s counting in her head. It’s necessary for what she’s doing, but I think it’s also to calm herself down. I stay quiet for a few moments, knowing that if I distract her, she’ll just have to start over again. I hear Carter quietly talking to Zeke, and I focus my hearing on his whispering.