Page 97 of Tear Me Down (Descent to Darkness Trilogy #2)
Chapter forty-four
Ashia
‘Nazareth’ – Sleep Token
I watch as my exhausted husband storms out with determination, and the moment the door clicks shut, I turn to Ser and Carter.
“What happened?” I ask softly, and they turned to look at me like someone else died and they’re afraid to tell me.
“It’s nothing you should worry about, Ash,” Carter replies in a hushed tone, and I immediately feel like a traumatized child, like any noise too loud will cause me to start thrashing and clawing at their eyes.
The thought almost pisses me off, but I bite my tongue for a moment to keep from yelling at him.
“Damien just sat here and held me like the smallest movement would kill me, and you two are looking at me like you’re playing hot potato with my heart.
I’m not some vase being held together by super glue.
” I take a deep breath, feeling the anger bubble up in my chest, but at the same time, I just want to crawl under a blanket.
The physical agitation matches as well, like I’m having a hot flash, but chill bumps rise on my skin as my body fights with itself.
“You went through something very traumatic, Ash. We just want to make sure you’re okay,” Ser chimes in, almost pleading for me to stop asking questions.
“I’m fine,” I spit back, the words tasting like a lie coated in sulfur.
After putting some sustenance in my body, I do feel a little better, but the weight on my chest hasn’t dissipated, and while I may feel more alert, there’s still the clamminess of fatigue that coats my body.
One second I was watching a movie, and next thing I knew, Damien was kneeling in front of me with tears in his eyes.
I have no idea when he got there or why he was so upset.
What was more unsettling was how he was talking so slow and calm, like he was trying to coerce a scared kitten out of a box.
I think I know what happened, I’ve done it before.
Though, not for nearly as long or as deep as I feel this time was.
Especially when I was released from the hospital after Cooper’s attack, it would happen in small doses.
I would sort of just stare into space, lost in thought, but something would eventually draw my attention away.
Occasionally, while I’m in the shower, I’ll do the same thing, but not recently.
When it happened last time, a few months ago, I snapped out of it once Damien stepped in with me.
This feels different though, like I was woken up from a dead sleep and my brain just couldn’t register that I was awake.
“How long was I out?”
Their faces soften at my question, like they didn’t expect me to put the pieces together, and after another quick look at each other, Ser speaks up .
"Over three hours. We’re not sure exactly how long,” she whispers in an almost grieving tone.
My chest tightens and my head starts to swim, trying to grasp the idea that I was practically comatose for that long.
No wonder they’re tiptoeing around like at the smallest inconvenience, I’ll bolt. “What’s the last thing you remember?”
“We were watching a movie.” I shrug, like it’s no big deal, and the thought of not remembering something as simple as that is absurd. Surely, I wasn’t that out of it for that long. Something must have registered or clicked, and there’s no way my brain was completely blank for three hours.
“Which movie?” She narrows her eyes a little, genuinely curious.
“The one with Sandra Bullock,” I point out like she’s the crazy one that doesn’t remember, but then her lips tighten into a line, and I can tell she’s holding back from replying. The heaviness in my chest only grows, and I realize that there’s more. “Did we watch more than that?”
She rubs her palms together, massaging them in an almost soothing motion as she nods.
“Yeah, we did.”
I just nod my head in understanding, still trying to process my own thoughts and actions.
What the hell happened? I remember watching one of the hilarious scenes and laughing with them like it was just any other day.
It was peaceful, and I can’t think of anything that could have messed that up.
How could I just blank like that? For three hours?
How could I not have moved or spoken, but still been awake for that long?
I feel so exhausted, like I ran a marathon in that time, and yet she’s telling me that I did nothing at all?
Disappointment and anger flood my body, making my hands shake.
I told myself that I wouldn’t let this happen.
Crawling into my own mind and hiding away isn’t an option this time.
My mind and my body have waged a war with me for years, and even though I thought I was fighting back this time, obviously I didn’t prevail.
He’s in my head, causing me to attack myself in ways that I can’t control, and no matter how hard I tried not to let him affect me, he slithered his way through already.
My husband is downstairs fighting a battle without me, and as much as that means to me, I’m sick of not retaliating myself.
I know I should be taking it easy, but I can’t let that man die knowing he’s had this effect on me.
If he does, he wins anyway, and I’m not going to stand to the side and let someone else prevail over me again.
I stand from the chair without warning and begin to make my way to the door, walking right past them without so much as an ‘I’ll be right back.’
“Ash? Where are you going?” I ignore Ser’s inquiry, continuing my stride out the door and down the hall.
There’s only one thing I want to do, and it’s proving that piece of shit wrong.
The last thing he’s going to see before he dies is that he didn’t break me, and he sure as hell didn’t turn my own husband against me .
The anger is flowing freely now, and the heat that ignited in my body is coursing through with ease.
My mind may still be coming out of the storm, but I’m in the eye of it, bringing clarity before the worst hits.
Fast steps, almost a jog, sound out behind me, but I’m sure to get to the elevator and press the button before they reach me.
“Ash, come on, you don’t want to see what’s down there right now,” Carter pleads, standing in front of the call buttons like that’s going to stop me now.
“The hell I don’t.” The bell dings, and as soon as the doors open enough, I slip inside, eyeing Carter and silently telling him to either get out of my way or get in.
There’s a moment of hesitation, like he almost thinks about yanking me out, but he doesn’t.
He slides in as well, briefly cutting eyes at Serena walking down the hall before the doors close.
We both know that if Damien saw me walking down there alone, he’d be pissed, and I’m not sure any of us are ready for him to lose his cool after everything that’s happened.
“Ash,” Carter starts, using that irritating soft voice this group uses on victims. “You don’t have to…”
“Yes. I do,” I interrupt and speak curtly.
“He’s not going to control my mind like that.
I have a family to worry and think about, and the last thing I need on my conscience is him thinking he’s won.
” The elevator opens again, and at the end of the hall I see Damien and Zeke talking, clearly in some fiery conversation by how close they are to each other.
Zeke’s hands are busted up, but he looks just as stoic as Damien.
Both are standing with such tension and hatred that it looks like they could burst into a frenzy of fists and screams at any moment.
They react to the elevator’s sound, and turn their heads toward us.
Damien instantly steps in our direction, making his way down the hall like he’s hiding something in that room.
“What the fuck, Ashia. You're supposed to be resting. Are you okay?” As he quickly closes the gap between us, I grab his face in my hands and pull him down to meet my lips.
His tongue instantly forces its way in and moves against my own as he wraps his arms around me, gently caressing my body.
His embrace is one of affection and longing, while he can clearly sense my determination and anger.
He’s always been able to decipher my emotions, sometimes even better than I can myself.
Something between us just clicks, like we can read each other’s thoughts.
He pulls away just long enough to give me a knowing glance, sensing why I came down and silently asking if I’m sure.
I don’t have to nod or respond as I look into his gaze, and there’s only a brief moment of silence before he grabs my hand.
He leads us to the door and allows me to walk in front as we step up to the reinforced entry.
Shockingly, Zeke steps in front of it at the last moment, stepping in like he’s trying to protect me and blocking the door.
“Ash, don’t…”
“Let her through,” Damien commands him, but he hesitates, giving both of us a worried glance before he opens the door and steps out of the way. Zeke’s head hangs low, like he’s reluctant to allow us to pass, but thankfully he does anyway, and I watch as he leans against the wall next to the frame .