Page 68 of Tear Me Down (Descent to Darkness Trilogy #2)

After our quick, what should have been an almost two-hour drive home, we pull into the Attic to see that Serena and Carter are waiting outside.

Before Damien can even put the car in park, Carter is already walking up to his door and giving him details about what he learned from the moles.

Damien listens as he rounds the vehicle and opens my door for me, holding his hand out and helping me out like always, but there’s no playfulness or softness to his demeanor now.

He’s in full attack mode, and I know that the demand for revenge is hanging over his head like a scythe.

The sky is angry again, almost as if it’s mirroring the stress around us.

Our own dark, metaphorical cloud looms over the building, and the intense energy from the men preparing inside travels out here.

The drive was tense, but nothing compared to what it is now.

It seems that everything has somehow turned to glass, waiting for one wrong move so it can break and fall apart around us, and right now Damien is a boulder waiting to act.

As we walk inside, Serena and I hang back a little—appearing to let the men talk, but then she leans her face close to my ear and whispers.

“There was a slight problem with my side mission,” she says, and I can’t help but roll my eyes.

“What do you mean?” I whisper back.

“After Carter got the notifications from the moles, he refused to let me go anywhere alone. I thought I had convinced him to let me walk into the pharmacy by myself, but when I was checking out, I turned around to see him watching me like a hawk. He saw me buy the tests.”

My eyes almost bug out of my head, but I compose myself.

“Are you serious, Ser?” I angry whisper.

“I’m sorry. I got back in the car with him, and he looked like a ghost, thinking they were for me. So, I uh…told him they were for you, but he swore to secrecy.”

“He’s Damien’s best friend. Do you really believe that?”

“Yeah, I do. He knows Damien doesn’t need the distraction right now.

” Her words hurt a little, but I know she’s right.

I’m nothing but a distraction right now, and as much as I hate it, it’s imperative to keep my mouth shut.

“You still haven't told him?” she asks. I shake my head and look back at the men, making sure they’re not paying attention to us.

“I started to, but then Carter called right on cue. I'm just going to wait, especially now that he's going after Dranan tonight. I don’t want him to be off his game.”

She nods understandingly as we stop outside of the elevator and wait to step inside.

Once we do, an awkward silence fills the tiny space, almost giving way to the elephant in the small room.

Carter sneaks a glance at me, and his expression is a mix of fear, curiosity, and what almost looks like pity, as if he knew what all of this chaos interrupted.

Damien then wraps his arms around me from behind and pulls me to his chest. He inhales my scent like he always does when he needs to stay on solid ground, and I can feel the anxiety roll off of him in waves.

“You can stay here if you want, or I can get Zeke to escort you home before we head out. The men at the house have already been notified, and they’re on high alert tonight,” he says just before kissing the top of my head.

“I don’t need an escort, baby. You need Zeke with you. I'll get all of our stuff unpacked and hang around until you get home.”

“I don't like you being alone with this going on tonight,” he mutters, almost painfully.

“I know, but it sounds like you'll be keeping them plenty busy. Plus, I won’t be alone; you have six men circling the house at all times,” I argue.

He chuckles lightly, in an almost dismissive way—like it isn’t enough protection in his mind.

Once the elevator opens, we walk out and Damien immediately heads into the locker room, obviously anxious to get ready.

Carter steps around and faces me before following him.

“You haven’t told him, have you?” he whispers.

“No, there’s nothing to tell yet, Carter.”

“Okay. He needs to be focused tonight.” He stares at me intensely, obviously trying to get his point across.

“I know, don’t worry. ”

He grabs my shoulder and squeezes gently before walking into the locker room. Nothing but worry and what almost comes across as paranoia is etched on his face, and that makes me feel even more anxious.

“You okay?” Serena asks me after briefly looking at Carter’s ass.

“Yeah, where are the tests?” I ask quickly, before Damien has the chance to emerge.

“In my car, we can grab them before you leave. Do you want me to come with you?”

“Kind of, but if you're with me I'll tell you as soon as it pops up with a result, and I want to tell him first.”

“I get it, girl. We’ll either celebrate or drink in the morning.” She laughs, and I shake my head again at her. I have no idea what her celebration would entail if drinking isn’t an option, but with her, anything is possible.

“Why would you two be drinking in the morning?” I turn to see my alluring fiancé strut up to us in his all black, tactical suit.

The long pants and long-sleeved shirt are a fitted but tough material.

They're equipped with protective padding on his knees and elbows, as well as pockets and holsters for ammo and knives.

His chest looks even broader with the Molle tactical vest covering his torso.

It not only shows off his muscles perfectly, but the extra straps and holsters hug his hips and thighs just right.

He looks undeniably sexy, an indestructible monster, and I just want to climb him to feel his brute strength.

Jesus, now is not the time.

“Because I'll be thinking about you in this hot suit.” I wrap my arms around his neck, and he hugs me tightly while he kisses my forehead. He pulls back after a moment, but only enough to stare down at me with a warning glare.

“Go straight to the house. Do not stop anywhere or leave once you get there,” he demands, and I nod submissively, knowing tonight is not the night to push his buttons. “Keep all of the cameras on, even the one in the bedroom, and I’ll be home as soon as I can.”

“I promise, straight home.” He kisses me fiercely, almost like he’ll never get the chance again and pulls back again.

“I love you.”

“I love you too; please be careful.”

“Always.” One more kiss, and he turns to walk toward the training center for dispatch. Carter follows him but turns back to look at Serena with the same type of cautioned stare.

“You’re staying here with me.” He points at her with a flexed finger and stern gaze before turning around and catching up to Damien.

“Okay, Daddy.” Serena whispers in a sultry tone, and I almost gag.

“What is wrong with you? Have you two even made up yet?”

She shakes her head, and pokes her lips out like the thought irritates her .

“Irrelevant. That was still hot as hell.” Serena declares.

I take a deep breath, not needing to dig deeper into that, before I pull the keys out of my pocket.

“Watching him leave like this is never going to get easier, is it?” I mumble, almost afraid of the answer she’ll give me.

“Probably not, Ash. Especially if those tests come back positive. Come on, let’s go grab them before Carter has a stroke.” She nudges my shoulder before we step back into the elevator, and I silently pray that this isn’t the last time I watch Damien walk away.

As I sit in our bathroom, I feel the minutes pass by as I just stare at this box and let the thoughts run wild in my mind.

I’ve never had to actually take one of these before.

The thought of this coming back positive is exciting, yet absolutely terrifying.

I mean, not really. I know how sex works, and apart from the small pill I take every morning, we haven't been careful—which was purposeful on Damien's part. But I always thought it would take much more tracking and planning than this. Granted, we’ve had sex almost every day, apart from when I was in the hospital, but I don't know—this just doesn't seem real.

I was never the girl to get everything she wanted.

I was the girl that had to grow up too quick, always shoved in the back and forced to worry about everyone else.

Damien is more than I could have ever dreamed of, and much more than I deserve, especially with how I used to think I would end up.

Could this really be happening? All of those years I spent suffering; has it finally taken a turn for the better?

Is the universe giving me what I've always wanted?

Taking one last deep breath, I finally draw the courage to open the damn box and read the instructions.

My hands are shaking so much that I can barely read them, but I think I get the gist. Point down, pee, cap, two minutes.

Not too hard, right? Ser said to only do one tonight, and if it came back negative to test again in the morning.

Something about morning pee being better?

I can’t wait until morning; I'll go crazy.

I follow the instructions, thankful that I can hold the stick steady enough, and put a two minute timer on my phone, feeling the electric charge of anticipation.

All I can think of is Damien’s reaction, either way this goes.

If it’s positive, he’ll probably run out on our balcony and scream it for the whole city to hear.

If it’s not, I'll be bent four ways from Sunday until he does impregnate me.

The thought makes me laugh, because I can only imagine the extremes he'd resort to once he knows this was a possibility .

If this damn thing does come back negative, I need to see a doctor sooner rather than later.

There’s something else wrong with me if I'm not, there has to be. It’s been too long since the poisoning to still be feeling like this.

The poisoning…what if I was already pregnant then?

No. It would have shown up on the blood tests.

Right? But what if they didn’t test for that?

Damn it, don’t freak out yet. Don't freak out…

This is the longest two minutes of my entire life.

The timer rings, and suddenly I can’t get the courage to turn it over.

What if the whole time I was with Cooper it wasn’t him, and it was me?

I haven't thought of that until now. All of those years that I worried about a pregnancy with Cooper, and nothing.

Not even a scare. What if I can't have babies?

That would be another big fuck you from the universe.

Family is everything to Damien, and he wants this so badly. What if I can't give that to him?

Just turn it over, chicken shit.

I take in a deep breath, and literally shake the nerves from my limbs before I grab the test and flip it over—immediately looking at the result and not wasting another moment.

Pregnant.

I blink a few times and re-read, thinking for a moment that I'm mistaken, or that I'm hallucinating, but the same word is written on the display.

That’s what it says right? I put it down in my lap, still not one hundred percent convinced, and pull it back up. Sure enough, it says pregnant.

I feel my heart begin to race and I feel weightless, like somehow gravity changed and I’m just going to float towards the ceiling.

This is actually happening. There’s nothing wrong with me, and now I’ll actually be able to live up to my promise to him.

I can give him everything he wants, and I swear, my heart flips at the thought.

This is real , I’m not imagining it or having a psychotic break. I cover my mouth to try and hide the smile growing, but I quickly remove it. What am I hiding it for? There’s no need to conceal my happiness or hold back because I think someone will be mad at me for showing a little emotion.

I can’t wait for him to get home…should I just come right out and say it?

Should I do some cute thing like I see on the internet and put a bun in the oven for him to find?

Well, I suppose I should wait and see how tonight goes, right?

What if he’s hurt? No, don’t think like that. Nothing is going to ruin this tonight.

I pull out my phone and go to text him, hoping that no matter what happens tonight, it'll make his night better when he gets the chance to read it.

Me:

I love you so much, I can’t wait for you to get home.

Don’t say anything else, you dumb bitch.

Maybe if I lay down for a while I can just sleep until he gets home.

That way I won’t get too excited and call Ser, or make a mistake and just text him the news.

I bring the test with me as I lay on top of the bed, unable to ease my grip with the irrational fear that if I let go of it, it'll turn out that it's not real, and I would've imagined it all.

Inhaling deeply, I take in his natural scent that covers our home, feeling the happiest I may have ever felt in my entire life—the test grasped tightly in my hand and laid against my chest.