Page 37 of Taste of Forever (Vampires of Sanguine #3)

Heather

I couldn’t say how long I thought about it, sitting on the toilet lid while the shower ran. As the small room filled with steam and heat, Laith never rushed me for an answer. He just waited patiently for me to make the call.

“Here’s the thing,” I said after a long silence. “I know you’re trustworthy and not a bad person. I’m really grateful that you found me and you’re taking care of me.”

“Okay.” He sounded tentative.

“But if you’re going to help me take a shower, I don’t want you to look at me. To watch me like you did through my window that night.”

There it was. His mouth tightened and his Adam’s apple bobbed in a hard swallow. “I won’t. I promise.”

Hearing him say those words was sufficient, but he went on.

“It won’t happen again, okay? Whatever the future holds for you and me, I’ll never look at you in such a gratuitous way again.

That was wrong of me to do. It was violating and I understand if you don’t trust me.

I mean it when I say I just want to help you right now.

That’s all. I’m not trying to sneak peeks of you or anything. ”

His magenta gaze flicked up mine, looking almost as raw and vulnerable as I felt, before dropping. “I’m sorry for spying on you.”

He’d already apologized right after he told me about it, but I felt a new sense of calm and acceptance in hearing it again. Unlike the first time, my thoughts weren’t clouded by anger. Now I was ready to hear him, to believe him.

The regret was painstakingly clear in his body language, and the remorse genuine in every word he said.

“I do trust you, Laith,” I said. “And I believe that it won’t happen again. I just…” I waved a hand toward the shower. “I’m nervous about this, I guess.”

“Of course you are.” He looked at the shower stall and then at me, chewing his lip as if trying to work something out in his head. “I could just stand nearby. You can grab me if you need support, but maybe do all the important stuff on your own?”

“Okay.” I nodded, trying to muster confidence about undressing and bathing in front of this vampire that I was definitely attracted to. “Sure. Let’s try it.”

Laith helped me stand up and together, we peeled all the bandages off my wounds. Nothing was open and actively bleeding, so I figured it was safe to wash my injuries, albeit carefully.

I watched Laith’s face as he carefully lifted the largest bandage from my neck.

His brows furrowed slightly in concentration and concern.

He knew what my blood tasted like, what it smelled like.

It was the thing that drove him to pursue me, after all.

But he never looked lustful or hungry as any of my wounds were exposed.

When it came time to undress, he dutifully looked away. Then with one hand on his shoulder, I made my way into the shower stall. Thank God there wasn’t a tub to step into. Laith shuffled forward, looking only as far as seeing where he needed to be to support me.

“Oh my God…” I moaned when the hot water hit me, closing my eyes to relish in the sensation.

“Bet that feels amazing.” I could hear the smile in Laith’s voice.

“So fucking good.” I released his shoulder to scrub a hand over my hair and face, using my opposite hand against the shower wall to support my weight.

“You okay?”

“Yeah.” I wiped the water from my eyes and almost laughed. Laith was standing halfway in and out of the shower, his face on the outer side of the curtain. “Your clothes are going to get soaked.” His lounge pants and T-shirt were already getting dotted with water.

“It’s fine. I’ll change out of them later. Am I in a good spot?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

I let the water saturate my hair and skin for another minute, then reached for shampoo and conditioner, which was where I ran into a problem. I needed both hands to pour the hair products.

Stubbornly, I tried bracing my elbow against the wall for balance, but my stupid body wasn’t strong or coordinated enough to do that while pouring shampoo into my palm. I listed sideways, letting out a little squeak of alarm as I started sliding down the wall.

Before I could even say his name, Laith was there. His hand wrapped around my arm and he gently righted me. He took the full force of the spray, becoming completely soaked. In the next moment, he slipped behind me and brought both hands to my waist. Holding me steady.

“Go ahead,” he said. “I got you.”

I hesitated, glancing at him over my shoulder. Water plastered his hair to his skull and dripped down his face like tears. His gaze was down and to the side, keeping me in his periphery without looking full-on.

Between the support of his hands, I managed to shampoo and rinse my hair twice then rub in an obscene amount of conditioner. My arms were fatigued from the effort but I felt a thousand times better.

With my hair done, a new challenge emerged.

“Laith?”

“Yup?”

“Can you move the shower head? I need to use body wash.”

One hand lifted away from my waist and the water overhead began spraying the shower wall instead of us. And then his firm, secure hold returned to my waist without any comment.

“Thank you.”

“Of course.”

Washing my body was far more nerve-wracking than washing my hair. I knew he wasn’t looking, knew he was being steadfast and silent to keep me comfortable, but his presence was overpowering as I soaped and scrubbed my most intimate areas.

With my limited balance and mobility, there was also one place I couldn’t easily reach.

“Um, do you think you could wash my back?”

Laith said nothing, but his open hand appeared in front of me. I placed the loofah in his palm, and his other hand gently transferred from my waist to my upper arm. The sponge swept across my upper back and shoulder blades in firm, circular strokes.

My eyes fell closed and my lips parted in utter bliss.

God, what would a massage from him feel like?

Every touch between us until this point had always been fleeting, which felt like a damn crime.

His hands on me in this shower had to be the longest time he’d touched me continuously since we’d first met.

His steadying, solid contact, plus the simple intimacy of washing my back, made me want this shower to never end.

I wanted more of his touch, in fact. And I wanted him to look at me. Really look at me like he used to. With desire.

Too quickly, his scrubbing reached my lower back and lifted away just above my butt. “All done. You ready to rinse?”

“Yeah.”

The stream of water returned, cascading over my hair and body. Washing away the alley, the dried blood, the terror of that moment. I knew, every once in a while, all the memories and intense fear would pop up to haunt me. But for now, I felt a quiet calmness settle in to my bones.

“Okay,” I said to Laith once all the soap and conditioner ran down the drain. “I’m ready to get out.”

He reached forward and shut off the water. “You good with the wall for a sec while I grab you a towel?”

I planted my palm and forearms against the wall, making sure I was secure before giving him the go ahead. He left the shower, then stuck his arm back inside the curtain, holding a folded, dry towel.

“Thanks.” I pressed soft fabric to my face, neck, and chest with my free hand.

“Do you need help with, um…”

“Uh, yeah. Maybe.”

Laith was back in the shower a second later, helping me unfold the towel so I could wrap it around my body. The whole time, his eyes were downcast, and I started to think he was taking the not-looking thing a little too seriously.

“I’m going to let you sit on the toilet again for a second,” he said, leading me out of the shower. “I’m going to change into dry clothes. Things are getting wrinkled that I’m pretty sure aren’t supposed to.”

“Do I even want to know?” I snorted, dropping onto the toilet lid.

“The inside of my bellybutton. Feels really weird.” He grinned at my befuddled look. “I’ll be right back.”

He was gone long enough that I managed to re-bandage the worst of my injuries, then pull on a borrowed T-shirt and soft cotton shorts from the stack of loaner clothes. By the time he returned, I was mostly dressed and completely exhausted.

“Hey now, don’t fall asleep in here.”

My impossibly heavy eyelids lifted just enough to see Laith kneeling in front of me, his hands out and hovering as if to catch me if I fell.

“You’re so cute.” In my half-asleep state, I wasn’t sure if I thought the words or said them out loud.

“Well, thanks.” Laith laughed softly. “Since I’m so cute, will you let me carry you to bed?”

“Mmkay.” I was too tired to be mortified that he’d heard me. That was an awake-Heather problem.

I felt him scoop under my legs and back, and let myself fall limp against him.

“I put fresh sheets on for you,” he said, breath soft against my hairline.

“You’re the fucking best, you know that?” I mumbled into his shirt.

His chest shook with his soft chuckle. “Nah, you are.”

The clean sheets felt like the greatest luxury on earth when he lay me down. With the last of my flagging strength, I grabbed his hand before he could move away. “One last favor to ask.”

“Name it.” Laith’s thumb stroked over my knuckles.

I steeled myself with a breath. “Will you sleep next to me?”

He went completely still. “Are you sure?”

“Yes. I mean, you don’t have to right now . I have no idea what time it is, but whenever you go to sleep?—“

He jumped over me, sailing over my legs to land with a soft bounce on the other side of the bed. “Thought you’d never ask.” He grinned while tucking himself under the top blanket.

I drifted off to sleep with a grin that matched his, and a sense of contentment that I hadn’t felt in a long time.