Page 18 of Taste of Forever (Vampires of Sanguine #3)

Heather

L aith walked through the door less than five minutes after Skye, the bartender, put down the phone and told me he was on his way.

He spotted me sitting at the bar and started toward me, grinning so broadly that it made my stomach do a little flip.

He still looked a little feral and sharp, his cheek bones almost as sharp as his fangs, but I wasn’t put off or scared.

No one had ever looked so joyful at just seeing me .

Not even Justin’s face had lit up like that when he and I first got together.

“You came back,” Laith said when he reached me, his tone softly jubilant.

“I was thinking about what you said last time.”

His gaze focused intently. “About being blood mates?”

“That, and what you said about taking it slow. Getting to know each other.” I clasped my hands together to stop my fidgeting. “I’d like to talk more about that.”

Laith’s face lit up and then his features smoothed just as quickly, like he was trying to keep his excitement in check. “Yeah, sure. Absolutely. Do you want to talk somewhere quieter, maybe?”

He held a hand out toward the loft overlooking the ground floor.

“Yeah, okay.” I slid from the barstool and headed for the stairs off the dance floor with Laith at my side. I thought he might touch me, but he kept his hands to himself and a respectful few inches of distance between us.

“Did you order a drink? They’ll send it up if you did.” He kept pace with me up the steps, even though his long legs could clear three of them easily.

“No, not yet.”

“You can order one from up here too, if you want.”

I couldn’t deny it was tempting. A shot or two of something would be great to take the edge off. I was all swirling nerves and conflicted feelings, but I wanted to keep my head straight and stay sober. The only thing clear to me was Soren’s promise.

Three months of gathering intelligence on the vampires and he would leave me alone for good. And, while I felt bad for using Laith in this way, what other choice did I have? Soren didn’t seem like a guy who made empty threats, and I didn’t want to test that theory.

Now if only I could shove down how much all this secrecy and deception felt intensely, painfully disloyal to Justin.

“I’ll just have some water for now, thanks,” I said as we reached the loft.

“Of course. Make yourself comfortable, please.” Laith gestured to the low couch piled with plush cushions as he crossed the loft to the miniature bar on the far side.

It was surprisingly quieter up here, the music from the lower floor sounding farther away.

I took a seat and he returned with two large glasses—one filled with ice cubes, the other filled with water.

“I wasn’t sure if you’re one of those humans who likes a glacier’s worth of ice in their water,” he said a bit sheepishly, placing both down on the coffee table in front of us. “So, I made sure you have options.”

“Thank you.” It was a small gesture, but I was touched all the same. It made me feel even worse for deceiving him. “I’m a moderate ice person. Not quite a glacier’s worth, more like a small hail storm.”

He chuckled while I carefully added some ice to my water glass. “So, I take it you’re a free woman now?”

I sipped my water while I considered my answer. “No, not exactly. I’m still with my boyfriend.”

Laith’s face fell and I hated myself for making him look so sad. “So you’re still not interested in being my blood mate.”

“I didn’t say that.” I set my drink down, angling myself on the couch to face him. “Justin and I aren’t over yet but…things have been strained for several months. Almost a year, actually.”

The vampire stilled while I swallowed, struggling to get the words out. I’d never talked candidly about my and Justin’s issues to anyone. People saw us as a perfectly solid, happy couple, and I carried no small amount of shame that we’d been struggling for a while.

Well, that I was struggling. Justin seemed perfectly content with how things were, which often made me wonder if I was the problem.

“Our lives are very intertwined,” I said to Laith. “We live together, split rent and bills. If we broke up, we’d have to break our lease and both find somewhere else to live because neither one of us can afford the apartment on our own.”

“So you plan on leaving him,” Laith clarified. “But the logistics are difficult?”

Had I fantasized about leaving Justin? About being single or with some other person who actually put in a modicum of effort and acted like they gave shit about me? Yes. These days, it was almost daily.

Did I actually want to end things? To give up on what we once had and prepare for a new life full of unknowns? Those answers weren’t so straightforward.

But what I said to Laith was, “Yes,” and added, “it is emotionally difficult too. I mean, we’ve been together for several years. But the relationship hasn’t been fulfilling to me for a long time. I’ve grown…resentful. And I’m not sure I can come back from that.”

Laith stared at me for several long seconds without saying anything, and I tried not to squirm under his magenta gaze. I’d said exactly what I felt. Nothing was technically untrue, but could he sense me trying to deceive him anyway?

“Does he hurt you?” the vampire asked abruptly.

“What?” I blinked, taken aback. “Justin? No, he never has.”

“I don’t just mean physically. Does he threaten you or make you feel unsafe in any way?”

“No.” But someone else definitely does, and I don’t know what he’s capable of.

Laith blew out a breath like he was releasing tension from his body. “So, what can I do while you’re still intertwined with him?”

I reached for my water again, taking a long gulp to cool my tightening throat. “You need my blood, right? Mine, specifically.”

“… Yes.” He dragged the word out cautiously. “But it is more than that, as I explained to you last time.”

“Right, yes. And I am willing to…feel things out in that regard. Slowly, over time. Getting to know each other.”

“Feel things out,” he repeated slowly, a lazy smile forming on his lips. “In what way would you like to feel things out with me? And don’t you dare skimp on the details.”

“Not physically,” I said firmly. Giving this vampire my blood and leading him on for my own preservation was one thing, but I would not physically cheat on Justin. That was a hard line for me. “No…you know, intimate touching of any kind.”

Laith’s eyes narrowed with a frown. “Are you and him still fucking?”

The blunt question caught me off-guard. “Uh, no. Not…we haven’t for a…while.”

“How long’s a while?”

“A couple of months. Maybe three, four months.”

“You’ve been turning him down?”

I wanted to curl into a ball and disappear from the shame. “Other way around, actually.”

“Temkra’s grace.” Laith scrubbed a hand over his face, gaze trailing off somewhere distant. “What the fuck’s wrong with him?” He refocused on me. “That was a rhetorical question, actually. Don’t answer that. I don’t need to know.”

I bristled with the need to defend Justin. “Nothing’s wrong with him. We’re just…not connecting.”

“That makes it even worse! How could he not want to… connect when he gets to see you every day?” Laith pinched his nose bridge, groaning.

“Sorry. I’ve gone a long time without blood and I’m exhausted.

I have no filter on a good day, and I feel like a deflated basketball being dribbled by a Marrower. ”

A laugh burst out of me, the sound unexpected to both of us. “What does that even mean?”

“I don’t know.” Laith smiled softly, propping his arm on the back of the couch.

He did look tired. Almost haggard, if I was being honest. But there was a brightness about him that was infectious. A warmth emanated from him, not quite like a fire. It was gentler than that. Like the sun on an early spring day.

I had just been spilling my guts about my failing relationship and lack of sex life, and now we were smiling at each other. He made me feel like everything would be okay.

“So, will you let me help with that blood problem?” I said after a prolonged silence.

Laith pushed hair off his forehead, his expression sobering.

“Let me make sure I understand this. You want to give me blood without receiving any physical intimacy in return, even though you’re not getting any from your partner, who you are still technically with, despite your planning to break up.

” One eyebrow lifted lazily. “Do I have that correct?”

“Yeah, I guess that’s pretty much the gist.”

“So what are you getting out of this?” His gaze settled heavily on me. “Because so far, it sounds like an awful lot of giving for nothing in return.”

Pulling in a deep breath, I inched closer to him. “Well, getting to know you.” My smile was full of nerves for all the wrong reasons. “Learning about you.”

Laith did not seem any more moved or charmed than he already was. Justin always said that I sucked at flirting.

“But not physically,” Laith said flatly.

“Just until I end things for good.” More like until Soren was satisfied with whatever information I gave and he finally exited my life, but that was for me to know.

He blew out a breath. “I’m not trying to be a dick, Heather, but the blood mate connection is a very physical one.

You remember how we both felt in that room at the blood bank?

That’s the most sterile, unsexy place in Sanguine and I wanted to…

well, you can probably imagine, but it’s going to be like that every time. ”

I recalled the deep pulsing between my legs, the sensitivity on my skin, the heat and coiling pleasure within me. At the same time, I furrowed my brow and tried to look confused while my face burned. “I don’t know what you mean.”