Page 24

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

MADALYN

With a drink in my hand, I still feel out of my depth sitting here in the clubhouse. I came for him. The alcohol is helping, and so are the Ol’ Ladies who are around me, plus Darian is a great buffer.

I can feel the way the club girls stare at me with hate in their eyes and I try to dampen it down, but my insecurity gets the better of me so I drink more.

Kohen is across the room sitting with his brothers, talking, and laughing.

My man. Can I call him my man? Shit. I have not been publicly claimed to the club from what I have read in the biker books I love, so I am still unsure of what we are.

Sitting with his legs spread, in a relaxed position, the black T-shirt he wears is fitting snug against his body like it was painted on, and his jeans fit him like a glove, making him look sexy.

My discomfort is lessened by seeing him happy in his space with his brothers; it is clear that they mean so much to him.

Giggles come from behind me and I look over my shoulder, seeing how the girls are dressed or should I say barely dressed. Looking down at myself, my stomach knots with unease and unruly thoughts run through my head of Kohen sleeping with those women.

My gaze slides across the room to him again and I take another moment to take him in, which makes my heart gallop in my chest. Feelings surface, ones that I am not sure I am ready to deal with.

He senses me watching him, and he looks over winking, making my cheeks heat up at being caught staring at him.

Darian nudges my arm, pulling my attention from Kohen.

“Girl, you have it so fucking bad. Just go over there and ride him.” I giggle at her slurred words, hiding my unease.

“My darling friend, you need to slow down,” I inform her, but she waves her hand in a dismissive way at me.

“Nah, I am nowhere near ready to be cut off.”

We dance around the dance floor that was made for tonight, and I focus on Darian and not the club girls who are grinding on each other, kissing and groping at one another. It is like a freaking live porn show. Does Kohen like this kind of thing? Damn, I need another drink.

Again, my thoughts run away with me.

It hurts knowing he might have been with the girls across the room. The mere idea of him engaging with them brings a bitter taste to my mouth and a twist of jealousy in my already knotted tummy. I try to shake off the unsettling thoughts by drinking more.

I glance over at Kohen once more, catching a glimpse of his easy smile and carefree demeanor. He shows how he effortlessly navigates this world, while I struggle to find where I fit into it all.

Determined to distract myself, I dive deeper into the dance, letting the rhythm and movement consume me. But even as I twirl and laugh, a part of me remains fixated on Kohen, unable to keep my eyes off the handsome man.

My ass falls into a chair, just as Tracie calls out.

“Bernard David Milner, you did not just call women bitches and admit to taking your pick.”

The men around the room laugh, and banter with Bolt, who is Tracie’s Ol’ Man and husband.

“No, baby, you must have misheard me, I would never do that,” he backtracks, making us laugh harder. He tries to save himself, while we all laugh our asses off at him.

One of the brothers falls off his chair, the dogs taking notice, scanning the room for any danger, before settling back down and keeping guard.

“You got told, brother,” Forge calls out, laughing still.

Bolt comes across the room, kissing his woman on the lips and damn, it is hot how she falls into his kiss. Flicking my gaze to Kohen, I see that he is bent over laughing. Tracie and Bolt leave the room and the brothers call after them in good nature.

“After all these year of being married, those two still can’t get enough of each other,” Louise tell us, smiling fondly as her friends leave the room.

“I like that. What I wouldn’t give to have that. Someone who will still need and want me after years of being together. So many couples get bored and cheat or divorce,” I mutter.

“What about you and Target?”

I shrug. “I am still not sure what we are. He says that I am his woman, his Ol’ Lady, but no public claim has been made. If I am being honest with myself, I am not sure that is something I want right now.”

“She has a shitty past when it comes to MCs.” Darain hiccups.

“Dar,” I scold her, and she giggles, sipping more of her drink.

Louise sits forward, looking me in the eyes.

“Target is one of the good ones, sweets. When he joined the club, he was so broken. The Army did shit to him, as it does to most soldiers, but he lost Ruth as well. Even though they are best friends who happen to share kids, it still hurt him, that he hurt her. So when he says you are his, honey, I think he means it.”

“I see the girls here, and I can’t compete with them.”

“Thank fuck for that. Target does not want a club girl for an Ol’ Lady. He wants someone who loves him and those twins until the ends of the earth.”

“My girl Mads will do that. She loves with her whole heart,” my bestie chimes in.

Taking her hand in mine, I tell her, “Thank you, but you really need to stop drinking before you puke your guts out.”

“I never puke when I am drunk, tank you berry much.”

“Oh, now she is gone.” We laugh.

“My sister used to drink like this; she was funny drunk. Always the life of the party.” She has a faraway look in her eyes, like she is flickering through family memories. “We were close, she was my best friend and my sister, ya know.”

I nod to her, looking at Darian and thinking of Aria. Even with our age gap, we are still close despite our ups and downs, but I get the sense that Louise has lost her sister. “I do. What happened, if you do not mind me asking?”

“She fell ill. It came out of nowhere, and the doctors did not have a clue what it was until it was too late. After she passed, they did an autopsy and she had an infection in her heart that the doctors missed.”

“Oh, I am so sorry, Louise.” I place my hand on her knee.

“Thank you.” She waves her hand in the air. “God, what a way to kill the party. I think your bestie needs a bed to sleep it off.”

I laugh, looking at Darian passed out in the chair.

A loud crash comes from across the room and I see Forge and Flame wrestling on the floor. The other men are cheering them on. Both men are laughing and not doing much grappling.

“They are like wild children.” Louise laughs.

I laugh with her because this shit is funny, seeing two grown men laugh so hard that they cannot fight each other.

With the sudden urge to pee, I get to my feet and head down the hall that Louise told me leads to the restroom.

With a smile on my face, my body still vibrating with happiness after the scene that played out in the main room, I walk down the hall until reach the restroom door. Pushing it open, I see two of the club girls are touching up their make-up. I give them a tentative smile, rushing into the stall.

My happiness faded as soon as I saw them. I have seen the nasty looks they have been throwing at me and Darian, even though Tracie told us to ignore them. I knew that Target was there with me, but I couldn’t ignore them.

My stomach tightens hearing their giggles and whispers and I know they are talking about me. I hate confrontation and bullying, but I was never strong enough to stand up for myself— that is what I have Darian for, but she is not here.

I sigh before pulling in a deep breath, pulling up my big girl panties or thong in this case, and straighten my dress. Shaking it off, I exit the stall, stepping to the basin and washing my hands. My body vibrates with unease, as they continue their childish giggling.

“Do it, tell her,” one whispers on a giggle and the sound is nasally and makes my skin crawl.

The leader of the little three woman group steps to me, her body touches my elbow and I inch back from the touch.

“You do know that you are not enough for Target, right?” She laughs, looking at her friends, then back to me.

I turn my head to face her, seeing the smug look on her face that I would love to slap off but that is not me. Violence is not the answer, but sometimes I get so freaking close.

“Why do you say that?” I ask, and instantly regret it.

The knowing look on their faces tells me that they know something that I do not. My stomach drops with the feeling that what they will tell me will cause some trouble for Target and me.

My ugly insecurity rears its head, smirking but I try to push it down to service this scene that is playing out.

“Oh, has he not told you? Target knows his way around the bedroom.”

A cold shiver runs down my spine, and I feel a lead weight settle in my stomach, making me feel ill. I worry that whatever they are about to say will shatter my already fragile confidence when it comes to my relationship with Target.

Their secretive whispers and mocking smiles have only heightened my anxiety and my buffer is out there in the main room drinking the night away, oblivious to what is happening.

"What do you mean?" I ask, my voice barely above a whisper, betraying my fear and vulnerability.

I am not privy to the information they hold, and the uncertainty gnaws at me.

The leader steps closer, her eyes gleaming with delight that she knows what I do not.

"Oh, you poor thing," she says, her voice dripping with false sympathy. "Target has a taste for variety. You're just one thing that he likes to fuck, sweetie. Target likes to fuck ass and suck cock, too. Ask him, hell, ask Savage— he has fucked him a few times."

My heart sinks, and I feel the sting of her words deep but what hurts the most, is that if she is telling the truth, Target kept this from me. The thoughts echo in the background of my mind, amplifying my humiliation.

I can barely stand to look at them, but I force myself to maintain eye contact, refusing to let them see how much they've hurt me.

“Is this what you did in high school? Bully and intimated people to make yourself feel big and powerful? Hurting people to add some joy to your boring, pathetic life?” I am on a roll and the cocktails that are coursing through my body help me feel more confident than I usually am.

“I suggest that you take a good, long, hard look in the mirror at the person you are, and what you do for a living before you decide to rain on someone else’s parade. Jealousy is not an attractive feature.”

I push past them, leaving the room before they can say anything.

My heart is racing, trying to escape the clubhouse before my body.

Tears blur my vision as I walk at a fast pace to get myself away from them before they catch me and either slap the shit out of me or say more nasty crap.

My heart aches because deep down I can’t help but wonder if what they said was true. Is Target bisexual and he doesn’t trust me enough to tell me? The brothers and other club girls have seen him with me; do they whisper behind my back, having a good laugh at my expense?

“God, I am so stupid. No man like him would want me for me.” My mind and heart are racing in tandem, a full range of emotions swirling around my body and I do not know which way is up anymore. “I am a game, a passing moment.”

Reaching the main room, I see Flame in the corner getting a blowjob from one of the club girls, and I divert my eyes, not wanting to see that. Scanning the room I see that Darian is now awake and talking to Louise, drinking from a bottle of water.

Target is still across the room with his brothers, his head leaning in close to Savage, a big smile on his face. For a second I watch them and I see the look they give each other— it is not the same way he looks at his brothers.

Savage says something to him and he barks out a laugh, Savage watching his every move with lust in his eyes. Once Target regains his composure he looks to his brother, and cups the back of his neck, pulling their foreheads together and he says something.

The little act makes my heart crack, and proves what the girls told me to be true.

He hid this from me. He never trusted me enough to confide in me.

As if sensing they are being watched, Savage lifts his gaze to mine, then Target turns his head to look at me and drops his hand.

It all makes sense now: when he found out what book I was reading, the way he spoke dirty about me having sex with two men, and him being fucked by one.

I am such a fool.

Shaking my head, I rush through the door, ignoring my name being called, just needing to get out of here. My heart is cracking open with each step. God, why am I so freaking stupid?