Page 28 of Taming the Billionaire Cowboy (The Billionaire’s Bidding #3)

OLIVER

“… O f course we need to take into consideration our…”

I don’t even hear the rest of what the lawyer is saying. The negotiations for the Louisiana plot have been dragging on for days, and while at first I felt invigorated by them, now I’ve lost my steam. Especially since…

No, I don’t want to think about her. Shouldn’t think about her.

Carly is in the past now, and I did as good by her and Bradley as I could.

So why does it feel like I’ve made a horrible mistake?

I glance up at the large, polished table, surrounded by a team of lawyers and executives who are all waiting for my input. But my mind isn’t here. It hasn’t been since that last phone call with Carly.

With a sigh, I toss my pen down onto the table and rise from my chair, drawing confused looks from those around me.

“Let’s table this for now,” I say, my voice detached. “We’ll pick back up tomorrow morning.”

“But we haven’t finished discussing?—”

“I said tomorrow morning,” I reiterate firmly. “Enjoy your evening.”

Without waiting for a response, I stalk out of the room, leaving behind a cloud of murmurs. Back in my office, I sink into the chair behind my granite desk, my heart pounding.

Carly’s voice echoes in my head, her words sharp and cold as ice. Each one tugs on me, pulling me from the high rises of Houston to the open fields of Miralena. Our worlds are so far apart.

She said this couldn’t work, her and me. She was right. But still…

A knock on my office door snaps my head back up. “Yes?” I call, trying to pull myself together.

Marie peeks her head in. “Dave is asking you to reconsider continuing the meeting. They haven’t left yet?—”

“Of course he is,” I bite out.

I don’t know why I ever thought Dave had my back. Sure, he encouraged me to go to the hospital that day I had the panic attack, but then he also guilt-tripped me into coming back to Houston. Yes, the final choice was mine, and I’m glad I did it. I mean…

Yes. No.

Of course, I’m glad.

“Hey,” Marie says. “You all right?”

“Fine,” I quickly say.

She doesn’t move from the doorway, just stands there with big eyes. Suddenly, I realize how much of a kid she is. Even though she gets so much done around here - does so much to keep my life together - she’s still in her early twenties. She still has so much to learn. So much to live.

God, I hope life goes better for her than it has for me.

I sigh. “I’m sorry.”

“No need for that, boss,” she says, taking a step into the room. “Everyone has their off days. Or weeks.”

“I just need to get it together.” I scrub a hand through my hair, fighting back frustration.

Marie nods, sympathy in her gaze. “Want me to clear your schedule for tomorrow? Or at least postpone the morning meetings?”

I glance at the window, where the sunset casts long shadows over the cityscape below. Tomorrow’s packed with more negotiations and one major presentation. But right now…

“We can’t,” I tell her. “I already ended this meeting early. We can’t push anything else.”

Still, she lingers. “Oliver, you look pale.”

“You don’t need to worry about me,” I assure her. There’s so much more she could be worrying about. Her own career, love, happiness…

I stare at her, suddenly feeling like I’ve let her down. “Marie. Do you do anything but work?”

She blinks at me, confused. “What?”

“Are you dating? Do you hang out with friends?”

She adjusts her glasses. Stands a little straighter. “My career is my priority.”

“But life isn’t all work,” I tell her earnestly. “Do me a favor and clock off early. Go get a drink with friends. Or go for a hike, a drive, anything.”

“I…” She looks taken aback. “No, that’s all right.”

“Please. I don’t want you to end up like me. You should?—”

“ Oliver .” Her face is red. “I don’t… I don’t have anyone to get a drink with.”

That knocks the breath out of me. Shit.

She’s spent years working for me, putting in more hours and more energy than five people. I pay her well for it, and she’s on the fast track to do anything she wants in life after this job, but…

For the first time, I see that it might not be worth it.

“I’ve failed you,” I whisper.

“What?” She blinks.

“I’ve set a poor example for you. All I do is work?—”

“You took that vacation.”

I shake my head and look away, not wanting to talk about the little vacation that turned into the best month of my life… a new, happier life that I threw away.

“Yeah,” I agree. “And now I’m… back.”

Back to work, back to Houston, back to isolation. Back to endless days and nights of anxiety. Back to old habits that will eventually break me.

She’s quiet for a long moment, and when I look at her, I see her gaze lowered, fingers playing with the crystal chain hanging around her neck.

“Go home, Marie,” I tell her, weariness seeping into my voice. “Take the rest of the day off. Soon, you’ll be too old to enjoy your youth.”

It’s a poor choice of words, and I know it.

“There’s too much to be done. I have to?—”

“Don’t argue with me on this,” I interrupt her. “Please.”

“Okay,” she says after a moment of hesitation. “Call me if?—”

“I won’t. You have the day off. See you tomorrow.” I give her a hard look to tell her I mean business.

With that, she leaves my office, allowing the silence to envelop me once more. I made a mistake, didn’t I?

When Dave said they needed me back in the office, I felt like I had no other choice. Like my hands were tied. Yes, I was also excited about the possibility of such a big deal coming back to life, but I really believed there was no option. This is my company. My life’s work.

But I did have a choice. I could have not come at all. Or I could have only stayed a day or two like I’d told Carly I would.

I rub at my temples, trying to quell the headache that’s been creeping in all day. I feel trapped, cornered by the expectations and demands of being a CEO. The lines have blurred between who I am and who I need to be for the company.

And, lost in it all, I made a mistake.

But maybe… just maybe… it’s not too late to fix things.