Page 15 of Taming the Billionaire Cowboy (The Billionaire’s Bidding #3)

CARLY

T he ranch unfolds around me, every creaking fence and weathered board welcoming me back like it knows my heart, my hopes. My fears, too.

Even though I try not to let them grow too large.

I feed the horses, breathing in the scent of hay and the open, endless sky.

Thoughts of Oliver loop around my mind with every task, making me wonder how a man who was a stranger two weeks ago now occupies so much space in my head.

I’m trying to puzzle him out, trying to make sense of how he’s so full of surprises and what it all means for me.

He’s good with Bradley, but that’s one more reason to guard myself and my son from disappointment. He offered to fix my car, which still has me reeling. And he plans to stay, a notion I can hardly get my heart around.

My hands shook on the truck door handle when he said that, and I hoped he didn’t see me trembling, didn’t hear the way my heart galloped like I hadn’t tied it up well enough, like it was trying to escape.

Or maybe like it was hoping I would escape too.

If he’s planning on sticking around, on staying more permanently like he hinted at, it will make things more complicated.

And maybe more wonderful than I can let myself believe.

If he doesn’t know it yet, I sure do. This ranch is big, but it’s not big enough for me to stay out of his way.

Not big enough for him to ignore my feelings or for me to ignore his.

But was I imagining it? Does he even have feelings for me?

The more I think about it, the more I know I didn’t imagine it at all.

When he asked me to run the place, I was too stunned to answer.

My lips wouldn’t move, my voice froze up.

But then, in the truck, they unfroze in a different way.

He was staring at them, staring like he was about to… like he wanted to…

A shiver runs through me, and I turn my mind back to work.

I pour another scoop of feed, and the horse nuzzling into me nudges my hand.

She’s in my space and taking her chances.

Oliver is too. I didn’t want him to see how flustered I was, didn’t want him to know I was thinking of him as more than my boss.

I picture Bradley’s dad — how certain I was about him. That’s what scares me the most, how sure I was about everything back then. That’s what worries me about opening my heart, about letting it go wild when all it’s ever gotten me was more trouble, more hurt.

Aaron took off when I needed him most — when Bradley needed him most. I have no reason to think Oliver would do the same, but I have no reason to think he won’t.

His business is in Houston; his whole life is there.

What’s keeping him here besides this ranch, and if he decides I’m too much trouble, will I survive it a second time?

Will I let Bradley get hurt like that?

Finally, the horses are fed, the hay is stacked, and there’s a calm in the air that only makes me more aware of how fast my pulse is racing. I take it all in, breathing deep and filling my lungs.

“Carly.”

I freeze, not ready to turn around quite yet. It’s Oliver. He’s already a part of my life, already tangled up with everything I am and everything I want. Even though I should fight it, even though I should be as tough and sturdy as I’ve always been, I find myself giving in.

He’s coming toward me with a smile so wide it knocks me off balance, so sure and steady and stunning I can’t believe it’s meant for me.

My heart stumbles, and it must show, because his grin grows impossibly bigger. I try to regain my footing, but it’s all I can do not to wobble when he reaches me. Even his voice throws me off.

“Taking a break?” he asks.

I wave a hand toward the stables, trying to show him how unflustered I am. “About to spray down the mats,” I say, then set my jaw, which doesn’t know whether to tremble or laugh or say something really stupid.

“Need any help?”

“Um, sure.”

He keeps smiling like he doesn’t know the havoc he’s wreaking on my body and my heart. And maybe he doesn’t. Maybe he’s as clueless as he pretends to be, or maybe he’s doing it on purpose.

The mats are heavy and awkward, their thick rubber surfaces covered in dust and straw and filth from the stable. Heaving them into the wash station, I sneak a glance his way, trying to see if he’s struggling as much as I am. Of course he isn’t.

He keeps up with me, determined and effortless, and I wonder how many kinds of perfect he can be without even trying. Bradley thinks he’s perfect, and so does every animal on this ranch. I’m afraid that if I don’t stop this now, I’ll think it too. Maybe I already do.

“You do this every week?” he asks.

I reach for the hose, and my heart pounds louder than the water. “Sometimes twice,” I say.

“Let me.” He takes the hose from my hands, so close I can feel his warmth.

I swallow hard and turn away, trying to act natural, trying to pretend like it’s nothing. Like this isn’t the kind of situation where the only way I know how to cool off is by running for my life.

Spraying the mats, Oliver acts like he’s the one doing me a favor.

I lean against the fence, watching him work, watching his shirt get wet from the spray and cling tighter and tighter to his skin.

His muscles flex with every movement, and I’m sure he knows I’m staring, knows I’m tongue-tied and spellbound and wishing I’d never signed up for this kind of heartache.

“See how easy that is?” he says, his grin a mile wide.

“I’ve got the hard job, keeping you company,” I say.

He doesn’t know how true it is. Keeping him company is the hardest job I’ve ever had, but it’s also the most irresistible.

“I dunno.” He shrugs, looking infuriatingly satisfied with himself. “Looks like I’m doing all the work here.”

A squeal catches in my throat when the spray hits me, and I jump back from the fence, my hands held up in surrender and surprise.

“I can help with that too, you know!” I say, grabbing for the hose.

He stands his ground, bracing for a water fight, and I lose myself in it. It’s so familiar and so foreign at the same time, playing like this with someone who isn’t Bradley, someone who I’m trying to tell myself isn’t perfect.

The hose twists and arcs as we wrestle for control, and water showers over us, warm and sudden and glorious. I know I should be cautious, should be guarded and smart, but I find myself laughing, and it feels so good, so right. I can hardly believe it’s me.

It’s a long time before I remember it’s my job to be careful.

I finally let go of the hose, finally pull away from the water and the recklessness that this could lead to.

The ranch is so big I thought I could get lost in it, but now I know the only thing I’m getting lost in is him.

I take a breath, trying to compose myself, trying to act like I’ve got some kind of sense and self-control.

Oliver stands there, his shirt stuck to his chest and a boyish, charming grin on his face. The water drips from his hair and nose and hands, and I have to keep from launching myself at him, from taking him and the chance that I want so much I can’t stand it.

“Calling a truce already?” he asks, his voice all confidence and humor and easy strength.

He’s not out of breath, but I am. I tell myself not to be just any woman. Not to be that woman.

But that woman, that poor desperate woman, she knows how hot he is, how perfect this is, and how bad she wants it. She also knows what it would cost her, knows she shouldn’t risk it, shouldn’t be reckless with her son and her life and the ranch.

“You look pretty smug for someone who’s not gonna have a chance to relax much longer,” I say, aiming for a safe subject. “I’m re-starting the events next month. Are you sure you’re up for it?”

“Are you?” he asks. “Looks to me like you’re the one who can’t handle it.”

He’s not talking about the ranch, and I know it. He’s not talking about the workload, but I try to play it off, try to convince myself that’s all this is.

“Someone’s gotta stay focused,” I say.

He moves closer, standing so near I’m ready to burst from wanting him. Or from trying not to.

“You have so little faith in me,” he teases, watching me with a confidence that makes me feel both powerful and helpless.

His grin grows again, but this time it’s more subtle, more dangerous. It’s the kind of smile that makes me want to abandon everything I know I should do, the kind that promises I won’t regret a single moment.

Oliver seems to suddenly realize how close he’s gotten, because he abruptly steps back.

“I’d better leave you to it,” he says, gesturing towards the hose. Color coats his cheeks and he rubs the back of his neck, a sheepish grin spreading across his face.

“Right,” I respond, caught off guard by his sudden need for distance. But then again, it’s probably for the best. I can’t afford to let myself get too close.

I watch him walk away, raw and soaked and shaken by every breath he breathed into me.

But this… this is not what I’ve always hoped for. It’s more than that. It’s more than mere attraction or lust or even camaraderie. It’s more like I’m standing at the edge of a cliff and steeling myself to jump off.

Of course, it could end terribly. I could crash into sharp rocks below or drown in icy waves. But if I don’t, if I manage to soar with the wind under my wings… Well, it could be extraordinary. It could be exactly what my life has been missing.

It’s a crazy notion – entirely irrational and utterly terrifying.

Yet there it is.

With that realization looming over my head like a threatening storm, I finish rinsing the mats in a daze. The sound of water from the hose hitting rubber echoes in my ears until it’s the only thing I can hear, but even that fails to drown out my racing thoughts.

Oliver is nothing like Aaron. He isn’t running from responsibility, he’s diving into it. He doesn’t display an ounce of hesitation in shouldering what comes his way — the ranch, the challenges here that he’s entangled with, Bradley and his inquiries and innocent fascination. Maybe even me?

And just like that, I’m back at the edge of the cliff.