Page 31

CHAPTER 31

A shley

“You would look great with some colored braids,” I tell Emery while holding up a pack of green synthetic braiding hair beside her face.

She swats my hand away, laughing.

“What?” I ask. “You saw how great Reese’s hair looks with the red braids I did.”

We’re in the middle of a hair styling store in town. My sister asked me to spend the evening with her in town to see a movie, have dinner, and do some shopping. Of course, I agreed.

“You don’t think I’ll make you look good?” I tease.

She rolls her eyes. “I think I’m not that daring yet.”

I look at her beautiful twist out with her grey streak in the front.

My sister’s come a long way since finding Chance.

I shrug. “Fine, I’ll get just some dark brown braiding hair for you. For me, I think I’ll do a mix of purple, blue, red, and green.”

I notice when Emery’s eyebrows raise slightly, but she quickly schools her features. “Going for a rainbow, huh?”

I nod. “My favorite colors.”

She chuckles.

I’ve never been able to pick out just one color as my favorite. I’ve always loved how colors play together, complementing one another depending on space and lighting. Therefore, I’ve always said that the rainbow is my favorite color.

“I think Christophe will like it,” I say, offhandedly, while browsing the braiding hair display.

“What?”

It’s not the question so much as Emery’s tone that stops my browsing. I look up at her. “Huh?”

Her eyes move to something over my shoulder before she looks back at me. “Are you still seeing him at night?”

I push away the twinge of embarrassment. Or, feeling after being admonished is more an accurate descriptor.

“How do you know about that?” I never gave Emery too many details when I left the house at night. Many nights, I waited until after she and Chance retreated to their bedroom. Or I would wait until after finishing my dinner while the main house was still occupied with so many pack members to go off without being noticed.

The fact that Em never pressed me too much on it convinced me that she was none the wiser.

I should’ve known better.

“The commune isn’t that big,” she answers. “I can’t believe you’re still bothering with this whole thing, Ash.”

My forehead wrinkles in instant confusion. “What do you mean ‘this whole thing’?” I mimic. “He’s my mate.”

She actually gasps at the same time her eyes widen. It’s so sudden and loud that a few others in the store turn to look at us.

Before I can respond, Emery takes me by the arm and pulls me out of the store. Not wanting to make too much of a scene, I allow it.

“Ashley—”

“No,” I say, shaking my head and holding my hand up. “I know that condescending tone. You use it every time you think you’re imparting information that poor, little, ol’ head-in-the-clouds Ashley is just too aloof to understand.”

Her head juts back. “What are you implying?”

I push out a breath to gather my thoughts before speaking. The last thing I want to do is argue with my sister. Not after everything she’s done for me. Not just since being freed from that prison but for my whole life.

“I … just …” I push out a breath. Words are always difficult for me. Holding a deep conversation about my feelings becomes so hard.

Except with Christophe.

He’s the exception.

“Let’s drop it,” I say and start for the car.

“No.” Emery stops with a hand on my arm. “We’re not dropping this until you agree to stop seeing Christophe.”

My chest tightens. “What?”

“I mean it, Ashley. He’s not the person you think he is.” She steps closer. “I’ve been nice up until now. He’s not a good guy. I know the traumatic event you both shared makes you believe he’s somehow not the same guy who betrayed his entire pack and nearly got them all killed, but he is.”

“That’s not who he is!” I insist, my voice growing loud. My wolf and my human rear up in anger upon hearing anyone bad-mouth the man we know is our mate.

“He’s sorry for what he did. So sorry, and if you all would just give him a chance, he would prove that to you. No,” I say, now pointing at my sister. “He’s already proven that’s not who he is. He took a silver bullet to prevent that guy from pulling off his plan to destroy the Nightwolves. He almost died.”

By the time I say the final word, my chest is heaving. It’s not full-on anger I’m feeling. More like a bitter resentment that I have to remind her of this. It’s frustrating that she, for whatever reason, can’t seem to trust my judgment.

“And what if he only did that because he saw he had no way out? That Lupine’s plan would fail, and he thought he’d somehow carry favor with Chael and the others by pretending to be the hero.”

I let out a laugh but there’s no humor in it.

“There’s no way on Mother Moon’s planet you could possibly believe that!”

“Ashley,” Emery looks around at the passersby, “keep your voice down,” she tells me, her own voice modulated and low enough for only me to hear.

I realize we’re in public, at a location that’s frequented more so by humans than shifters. But instead of acknowledging that, what I allow to slip is, “Why? Because I’m an embarrassment to you?”

Her eyes widen in horror. “What?”

“You didn’t think I realized all of these years how much I embarrassed you?”

“You could never?—”

“Could I?” I demand. “I mean, our bitch of an adopted mother was one thing. I stopped trying to please her a long time ago. Way before she ever tried to kill me. But all of those times I went along were for you, because I didn’t want to be an embarrassment to you, Emery.”

I shake my head while doing my best to suppress the tears that threaten to spill over.

“I fought for your approval, not hers,” I confess for the first time. “But you never saw me. Not the real me.” My voice almost cracks, but I snap my mouth shut to prevent all of the emotion from rushing out.

“That’s not true, Ashley,” she answers softly. “I always saw you. I see you.”

“No.” I shake my head back and forth, taking a step away from her. “You saw the me you wanted to see. The silly, quirky little sister who never quite fit in anywhere or with anyone. The sister you would ask to constantly change what I wore, how I laughed, how I dressed all to appease other people.”

“That wasn’t me,” she replies. “You know our adopted mother was the one who?—”

“And you went along with her. You never defended me to her. You always made me feel like I was the wrong one when you know how much of a bitch she was. She hated me. I knew it. Why didn’t you? Why didn’t you ever defend me against her?”

By now, I have no hope of hiding the emotion in my quivering voice as tears stream down my cheeks.

“Ashley …” She stops moving toward me when I take another step away from her.

My chest heaves up and down as I can no longer stem the tears from flowing. Hurt, that I thought had long ago disappeared, resurfaces. Memories of my childhood, when my adopted mother constantly told me how I was inappropriate for this reason or that, only for Emery to follow up with asking me to just change for mom’s sake.

“Why did you always take her side over mine? Just like you’re doing now with Christophe. You believe what everyone else has said about him versus what I know and feel. He’s not a traitor or malicious. He’s the best man I’ve ever known.”

I wipe my eyes mostly to clear my vision. But again, I step out of Emery’s grasp when she tries to touch me.

“I’ll find my way home.”

Before she can say anything, I turn and take off running. I hear her call my name a few times behind me, but I continue until I eventually cross the street that leads to the road we take toward the commune.

I peer up at the moon high above the mountains. The sun has set, and the sky turns dark, which should give me enough cover. Besides, there aren’t many people out here, anyway. Without another thought, I shift into my wolf and head straight for the trees that will provide enough cover as I run back in the direction of the commune.