Sypher

October 21, 2022, sophomore year, fall semester,

“Danny, move your ass,” my brother Ace shouted from the other side of the door. “We’re going to be late!”

Ace Leroy Franks. The oldest of the Franks brothers and the one whose gruff demeanor and booming voice always seemed to clash with mine. My big brother was my hero, yet I always felt a sense of disconnect, a lack of genuine understanding between us.

I was always the different one.

The oddball of the family. Which was kind of ironic since Ace never really fit in with the club life either. He marched straight from high school into the military, never once regretting his decision. The last time I saw him was when we buried Dad. He didn’t even show up for Mom’s funeral because we couldn’t reach him. Then shit hit the fan with the club. I knew he kept in contact with Trout, but that was about it.

The biggest issue I had with Ace was that he firmly believed in right and wrong. He hated the gray part of life. Give Ace a direction and he was good to go. He liked things structured and orderly. He hated that Dad and the club straddled the line between right and wrong. He never understood club life either. When he left for the military, he seemed happier. Dad always hoped that someday Ace would come home and take over the club. But I think deep down, Dad knew it would never happen. When Dad died, Ace blamed the club.

Blamed Reaper and Bullseye too.

After leaving the military, Ace stayed with his military buddies and created Harbor Security Systems, a job that took him all over the world. They were currently looking for a place to set up shop here in the United States, and if my information was correct, they were looking around the New York City area. Far enough away from me to give me the illusion of freedom, but close enough to show up on my doorstep unannounced to ruin my weekend plans.

Grumbling, I stepped out of the shower and yelled back, “I just need five minutes!”

“You’ve got two.”

Closing my eyes, I gripped the bathroom counter and counted to ten, because if I didn’t, I would lose my shit.

When I woke up this morning, I planned on doing absolutely nothing today. It was the weekend. I had no classes, no assignments and for once, no one was calling me out of the blue, needing my help. I was free to do whatever I wanted, and I planned on vegging out in my room, playing Call of Duty while gorging myself on pizza and beer. Plus, it was football season, and I had the NFL season ticket. All the games I could watch for one low price. But all that evaporated the second I opened my door and saw my big brother staring right at me.

No hello. No how ya been. Nothing. Just a curt ‘Get dressed. We’re going out .’

That was Ace.

Gruff, to the point and refused to take no for an answer.

Still damp from my shower, I wrapped a towel around my waist and quietly exited the bathroom, only to discover Ace already at my desk, his eyes darting between the multiple screens filled with my various internet searches. A low keyboard click punctuated the stillness of the room. If it were anyone else, I wouldn’t give it a second thought, but this was Ace, and his actions always carried a certain weight. Ace was the only family member I had that wanted nothing to do with the family.

“Club still got you doing shit?”

“Someone has to.”

He let out a sigh and swiveled in the chair to meet my gaze while I hastily zipped up my pants. “You are in college, Danny. You shouldn’t be messing around with club shit. Dad wouldn’t want that.”

“How would you know?” I snarked, throwing on a shirt. “You left.”

“I had my reasons for leaving, Danny.”

Yeah, he sure did. It was too bad he didn’t tell us what those mysterious reasons were, leaving me to wonder about their nature. One minute, my big brother was laughing with me, the next, he was gone, leaving behind a silence that echoed all around me. He didn’t even say goodbye.

He just walked away without an explanation.

I sat on my bed, the cotton sheets cool against my skin, shaking my head in frustration before pulling on a pair of socks and slipping my feet into my favorite sneakers, their familiar worn leather molding to my feet.

“Why are you here, Ace? I know it’s not to check up on me, because you absolved yourself from that responsibility the second you left home and never came back.”

“Not going to explain myself to you. Mom and Dad knew and accepted my reason for leaving. Besides, you’re in school. The club shouldn’t be asking you to do anything but get an education.”

“That’s the difference between us, Ace. I can do my job and still be a part of something bigger.”

With a grunt, my brother narrowed his eyes in suspicion, slowly rising to his feet, his hands clenching into fists. “Not gonna fight with you, Danny. But if you keep pushing this attitude, I won’t think twice before calling Reaper and telling him you’re out. You think I’m playing around, keep talking shit you know nothing about.”

“I’m not a child anymore, Ace.”

“Then stop acting like one. Now, grab your coat and let’s go,” he firmly ordered before marching out of my room.

A groan escaped my lips as I hauled my leather coat over my shoulders and followed.

“So, how are classes going?” Ace asked, the booth creaking slightly beneath him while he settled back, the silence punctuated only by the gentle hum of the pub. After leaving campus, Ace drove us through Boston’s busy streets, finally arriving at a small, dimly lit pub in the downtown area where the aroma of good food filled the air. It was a decent, quiet place, the kind of place where you could hear the gentle tick of a clock and feel utterly at ease. “Have you considered what your plans might be when you graduate?”

“Not joining the military.”

He threw his head back, his laughter booming, a rich and hearty sound that shook his shoulders. “God, Danny,” he whispered, his voice barely audible above the din of the pub, “even I know the military’s relentless demands would crush your spirit and leave you utterly destroyed. What about a federal agency?”

“Already told them no.”

“What do you mean?” Ace asked, leaning forward. “They already talked to you?”

I nodded. “Yeah. My freshman year. Worst two weeks of my life. Everywhere I turned, men in black wanted to talk to me.”

“Danny!” I heard a familiar voice and looked up.

Fucking great.

I groaned inwardly and tried to ignore Carrie’s approach. The scent of her suffocating perfume preceded her as she headed toward our booth. We’d only had one date, which consisted of pizza and beer and ended with me balls deep in her ass. Now she thought we were going steady.

“Hey, baby,” she crooned, leaning down and kissing me hard on the lips. “Missed you last night at the faculty dinner.”

“Yeah, I had other plans,” I muttered while Ace smirked, looking at the both of us.

Shit.

“Who’s this, little brother?” Ace asked, grinning up at her.

“Oh, hello there!” Carrie let out a cheerful chirp, her eyes sparkling when she looked at Ace. “Wow,” she breathed, her eyes lingering on my brother’s chiseled jawline and captivating smile. “You are handsome.”

“Thank you, sweetheart. You’re not too bad yourself,” Ace greeted, getting to his feet. “How do you know my little brother?”

“Oh, we’ve dated a time or two.” She smiled warmly.

“So, you’re his girlfriend?”

“Knock it off, Ace,” I groaned.

“Well, nothing is official yet, but we have fun together. Don’t we, Danny?”

“Yeah. Sure,” I grumbled.

“Why don’t you join us,” Ace suggested while I quickly shook my head no. I absolutely refused to spend my day with Carrie incessantly chattering like a magpie. The woman never shut up. Like ever.

“I would love to.” She smiled, sliding into the booth next to me.

Retaking his seat, Ace asked, “So, how did you two lovebirds meet?”

I sat for the next hour, the rhythmic flow of Carrie’s ceaseless chatter filling my ears, interwoven with the insistent, almost frantic questions from Ace. It was a dizzying auditory experience.

Despite my attempts at participating in the conversation, I found it impossible to get a word in edgewise due to the overwhelming flow of discussion. Ace’s apparent liking for Carrie was evident, and with a captive audience, Carrie was clearly enjoying herself and was in her element, thriving in the situation. In the end, I gave up and just let them talk. Neither one really cared to hear what I had to say, anyway.

So, when the server brought the check, I didn’t think twice before digging out my wallet and handing him my black Amex. Anything to get us out of here faster. Having settled the bill and with Carrie affectionately draped on my arm, we departed the pub, only to find that my day was about to take a turn for the worse.

My brother’s unannounced arrival was upsetting enough, and Carrie’s intrusion only complicated the already difficult situation, but when I saw Dante approaching, I was so shocked that I came to an immediate halt.

The air grew heavy, thick with a sense of foreboding. Something was terribly wrong. His face was red, his fists clenched, and his eyes narrowed—he looked furious. His shoulders were tight with tension; his hurried footsteps drumming against the pavement.

I vaguely heard Carrie sneer, “What the hell is he doing here? I thought he moved to the big city.”

“Who?” Ace asked.

“Him,” Carrie said, nodding her head toward Dante. “He’s a stuck-up snob who thinks his shit doesn’t stink. He and Danny were really tight before he dropped out of school. Now he lives in the big city doing God only knows what.”

Ignoring the bitch, I looked worriedly when Dante greeted, “Danny.”

“Hey,” I replied. “What brings you back here?”

“Meeting an associate for lunch,” he lied. I knew he was lying because he didn’t look me in the eye when he replied. He was avoiding telling me the truth. Something he was good at doing when he didn’t want me to know shit.

“Then we won’t keep you,” Carrie snapped, her words laced with a cutting tone as she inserted herself into our discussion, her arm a possessive barrier around mine. “We’re spending time with family today. Isn’t that right, baby?”

Dante’s cold and calculating eyes flickered from my face to the woman practically glued to my side, his lips a thin, tight line. “I see you are still digging through the trash.”

Carrie gasped.

“You need to leave. Now,” my brother sneered, stepping forward.

“Ace, don’t,” I hissed, my eyes fixated on Dante, my heart pounding in my chest.

It had been so long since I’d seen him. He looked different. He was troubled by something, a persistent worry that settled heavily upon his shoulders, clearly causing him considerable stress and discomfort. He appeared utterly defeated, his body and spirit worn down by whatever he had endured.

“No worries. Danny made his choice,” Dante snarled then looked at me and challenged, “Haven’t you, Danny?”

Struck speechless, I stood rooted to my spot, unable to say anything at all.

In the heavy silence that followed, Dante responded with a slow, deliberate shake of his head, his expression conveying a mixture of contemplation and disapproval. “Goodbye, Danny.”

I watched Dante walk away, the chill of his absence settling over me, and I couldn’t take it anymore.

With a sharp jerk, I freed my arm from Carrie’s grasp, spun around and seethed, my heart pounding, “We are not dating. We never were. I fucked you once. That was it. Leave me alone!”

Ace’s firm hands closed around my shirt, pulling me close in a sudden, forceful movement. “Apologize to her. Now.”

“I won’t.” I pushed him off me. “You show up out of the blue after all these years and you think you can just pick up where you left off? Well, you can’t!”

Turning away from them, I ignored Ace’s increasingly frustrated shouts, the cold biting at my cheeks as I pulled my coat tighter and hurried down the street. I felt lost, directionless and overwhelmed. The only certainty was that I needed to escape that suffocating atmosphere.

All I wanted was a quiet weekend, a chance to relax with no loud noises or stressful situations. All I wanted was a weekend to unwind and be myself, but I found even that to be an impossible task.

Lost in thought and unsure of my destination, I walked aimlessly for what felt like hours, until I jumped in a cab and told the fucker to drive as the night deepened. Eventually, I found myself standing before a door, paralyzed by an inexplicable hesitancy to knock. As more time passed while I remained standing in that spot, the tendrils of indecision began to wind their way into my thoughts, slowly but surely growing stronger. With a slow shake of my head, I was on the verge of turning away, prepared to depart, when the sound of the door opening caught my attention.

“What do you want, Danny?”

I swallowed the bitter taste of every misperceived misconception, the weight of my upbringing, and the ingrained beliefs I thought were truths, and then I spoke plainly, “I want to know what I’ve been missing.”