Page 83 of Sweet Venom

And I agree in principle, but I don’t have time for it.

Or maybe I do because I promised to stay away from my recent fixation.

And I have.

For about four weeks now, since the night Violet sucked my soul through my cock.

I’ve never come that hard or wanted to come that badly down someone’s throat. Or mess them up with my cum.

Or watch my cum on her tongue as she looked up at me with watery blue eyes that were so goddamn alive.

Passionate, even.

I’d never seen that look on her face—satisfaction mixed with a hint of submission. Not until I saw my cum on her tongue.

And for a moment, I had a raging possessive thought about locking her the fuck up somewhere only I had access to.

But then I was disturbed by that thought because I’ve never considered making a girl so wholly mine; she’d never look at anyone else, let alone go on dates or flirt with them.

And that girl won’t be Violet Winters, number seven on my list, who’ll meet an untimely end like all of them.

It’s just a matter of time before I rip off the Band-Aid.

The thought didn’t sit well with me, but I chose to stay away.

The first week was because Regis locked me up. Ever since I was released from the prison of my old room, I’ve only been going at night to read her journal while she’s asleep.Sometimes, she’ll have these brutal nightmares, and I find myself sort of…placing my hand on her back, which surprisingly seems to calm her down. Especially if I pat her for a while.

I don’t really know why the fuck I do that.

Maybe it’s because she’s going through a depressive episode, seeming to talk less and less in her journal. She doesn’t write much about death, but I’ve learned from studying the patterns that she tends to be less creative and more one-sentency in her entries when she’s off. Not to mention, she talks less about herself.

Laura is having a hard time. She was crying in the bathroom during break. I want to help, but I can’t do much except take some of her shifts or look after Karly whenever possible.

Dahlia is so excited for GU, and I’m so proud of her. She’s meant to go places, and I can’t wait to see how far she reaches.

Karly is so cute. I want to protect her contagious smile.

Good weather. Black insides.

Finished an ugly stitch. Threw it away.

Learned a new recipe. I ruined it.

Went walking. Would’ve been hit by a car if it weren’t for my guardian angel.

The sky is colorless even though it’s beautiful outside.

The demon sitting on my chest is heavier lately.

Why couldn’t Mama love me even a little? Just a tiny bit. Would I have been better if she hugged me and told me she loved me even once? Or am I grasping at straws and finding excuses?

Endure.

Endure.

Endure.

Endure.