Page 35

35

Icarus

It takes over an hour to root out every crew member and arrange them on the deck, sitting cross-legged with their hands laced behind their heads. As I suspected, not a single one of them put up a fight once the officers were dealt with. They all surrendered the moment they realized there was an attack.

They all…recognize me. Just like the person in the shower—who we’ve now recovered and brought to the deck. As I walk in Poseidon’s shadow, I hear the whispers.

“Icarus…”

“That’s Icarus Vitalis…”

Zeus stalks in front of them, his movements still too jerky to fully pull off his customary ice-king routine. He’s been questioning them for twenty minutes with little success.

They don’t know where Circe is. None of them even saw her at all, which confirms what we suspected about her not being on the ship for any length of time. They were recruited with the promise of steady wages and a nice bonus when they returned to Aeaea—one that would be paid out even in the event of their death, as long as it happened in the pursuit of Olympus. It’s an offer designed to pull in those with poverty’s boot on their necks, and the great irony is that the leaders of Aeaea could have fixed the poverty levels if they’d been less greedy. Instead, they recruited people who couldn’t afford to say no to being cannon fodder.

It pisses me off.

I rub my arms, disliking this new sensation. I’ve spent so long only caring for myself—and Ariadne—that I don’t know how to deal with this feeling. I can hardly go back to Aeaea and expect to have the power to change things.

Except you’re technically your father’s heir, no matter how little he wanted you. You’ve likely inherited everything.

I stop short. In all this frantic scrambling and free-falling of the last couple days, that never sank in. My father is dead. Gone forever. That means his extensive holdings and properties are all mine and Ariadne’s. Without him hanging over my head as a threat, I can go back to Aeaea. My father held significant influence among the wealthy. I might not have his charm, but I know all their dirty secrets.

I could…make a difference. I think I even want to.

“We’re done here.” Zeus spins on his heel and stalks to where Bellerophon and the others wait by the railing. He stops halfway and looks back at us. “If they give you any trouble, kill them.”

“Absolutely not.” I’m speaking before I can fully process that I’ve stepped forward—stepped between Zeus and the Aeaeans. “No one is touching them.”

Zeus turns to me. The survivor in me, the one who will do anything to save his own skin, screams that I need to do something to draw his attention away from me. But that survivor isn’t the only voice inside me. These are my people. I don’t recognize the feeling of those words, but they resonate in a way that snaps my spine straight.

“I will not risk Olympus because of your misguided heroism,” he snarls.

I laugh. I can’t help it. “I’m no hero. But I will hold you to your word. Or is that as changeable as your father’s was?”

The calculated words hit their mark. He doesn’t react, other than to turn away. “Get them out of my sight and bring the ship round by morning.”

“We’ll see it done,” Poseidon says quietly. He places his hand in the middle of my back as we watch Zeus stalk away. As soon as the blond man vanishes from sight, Poseidon turns to me. “You should talk to them.”

“What?”

“The crew.” He watches me carefully. “They recognize you, the same way the person down in the cabin did.”

“I have a recognizable face.” The words are right, a perfect side step, but I can’t help turning to the crew. It’s easy enough to pick out the leaders among them. They’re the people the others crowd around, the ones who move with a little more steadiness, trying to bolster everyone’s courage. It’s false bravado, but I respect it.

One of them holds my gaze, a man with light-brown skin weathered from the sun and years, his short hair long since gone gray. “What happens now?”

“We are going to get you home.”

He laughs bitterly. “For all the good it will do. We don’t get our wages until the end of this disaster. What home do we have to go back to?”

He’s right, and yet it doesn’t sit well with me. I look around at the people gathered. There are easily fifty of them. “I’ll pay you for your lost wages when we return to Aeaea.”

Instead of looking comforted, the man crosses his arms over his chest. “And what of the others?”

“The others?”

“The other crews,” he supplies. “They sailed off without accomplishing their goals. No doubt Deo Artino and the others will use that as an excuse not to pay them for the work they did.”

I glance at Poseidon, but he’s simply watching me, letting me take the lead. I could use some of his deep well of confidence now. There’s none to be had inside of me, but I’ve always known how to fake it. “That sounds like something Deo would do. He’s a bastard like that.” I shrug. “Then I’ll pay their wages, too.” My father was the kind of rich that borders on absurdity. It’s an easy enough promise to make.

“Why?”

I blink. “Why?”

“Yeah. What’s in it for you?”

It’s a fair question, and one I don’t have an answer to. “It’s the right thing to do.”

The man laughs again, even harsher this time. “Since when has an Aeaean noble cared about the right thing to do when it comes to people like us?”

I have to fight down the tremble that threatens. He’s right. My father and his ilk are selfish creatures who hoard their money and are only concerned with getting more. I’m just like them…but that doesn’t mean I have to be. I could…choose to be different? “Since now.” My voice is even steady as I say it.

“We need to get moving,” Poseidon says softly. “We don’t have long to get them to safety.”

“Right.” I meet this stranger’s eyes. “Stay here. We’re going to travel outside of Olympus’s waters and then the crew will be freed, but if you cause trouble, I can’t save you.”

“I understand.” He sinks back down to speak in a low voice with the others gathered around him.

A couple of Athena’s people stand over the crew with guns held easily in their hands, but they look significantly more inscrutable than Zeus was, so I’m not worried about them panicking and shooting someone—or killing them out of anger. They’re true professionals, because of course they are; they work for Athena, after all.

Poseidon leads me up to the bridge. We’re alone for the first time since we left his apartment, and the relative silence feels so fucking loud. He scrubs his hands over his face. “Okay. Okay, next steps.”

Next steps. “We need a way to get my people back to Aeaea.” I already meant for it to happen, but after seeing the crew on this ship, having it driven home exactly how fucked over they’ve been by every single person in power.

Poseidon turns and looks at me, really looks at me. “Your people.”

“It’s the truth,” I whisper. I have lied, cheated, and stole and never felt a fraction of the guilt blooming inside me as I realize what I have to do. “You were right about the corruption in Aeaea. Hermes was too, in her way. I couldn’t do anything about it before, not with my father in the mix, but the blackmail I used against Circe’s generals was only one piece of my arsenal. If I go back, if I step into the position my father left with his death, I could actually change things for the people who need it the most. People like this crew.”

It hurts to say it. It hurts to even contemplate it. I’ve been selfish my entire damn life, and it’s fucked beyond measure that I’m going to develop a selfless streak right now, in the moment when I find an honorable man who loves me. An honorable man that I love, too.

Poseidon doesn’t yell. He doesn’t accuse me of using him. He just studies me for so long, it feels like he’s seeing me right down to my tarnished soul. “You have to do this.”

It’s not a question, but I answer it all the same. “I have to do this.” I drag in a harsh breath. “I won’t ask you to leave Olympus and your people. Not with the threat of Circe hanging over your head. But…” Fuck, this hurts. I want to stay. I want to spend whatever stolen moments we can find in his bed.

I want everything.

But I wouldn’t be worthy of his love if I ignored the deep wound in Aeaea that I have the potential to help heal. It’s what he would do in my position. I swallow past my increasingly tight throat. “Fuck it, I will ask you. Come with me. You never wanted to be Poseidon. You never wanted any of this. Fuck this city. Stay with me. Love me .”

He pulls me into his arms and kisses me with a desperation that conveys his answer even before he speaks. I cling to him, trying to communicate a feeling I don’t know how to put into words. I don’t know if I succeed.

When he finally breaks the kiss, he presses his forehead to mine. “I can’t.”

Even expecting his answer, it strikes right through all the bullshit. “I know,” I whisper.

“I love you.” He says it with a quiet certainty that shakes me right down to my core. “But I can’t leave my people with this threat hanging over them.”

“I know,” I repeat. And I do. He wouldn’t be the man I fell for if he was willing to shirk his responsibilities. If he was as selfish as I’ve been my entire life.

Poseidon holds me so tightly, I can barely breathe. “After.” He kisses my forehead, his whole body shaking. “After this is over, I’ll come for you.”

Hope flares, so strong that it almost takes me to my knees. I dare to lift my head, to meet his amber eyes. “What?”

“I love you.” He stares intently at me. “I can’t abandon the city and my people now, but this will be over one way or another soon. When it is, I’ll leave Olympus and come to you. I promise.”

It’s not something he can really promise, not beyond a shadow of a doubt. There are so many things that could get between where we are now and the future I want so desperately that I can almost feel it in my hands. Circe could win. Zeus could win and demand Poseidon’s presence for reconstruction efforts. Poseidon could die .

Or none of that could happen and time will unravel the spell we’ve cast on ourselves. He’ll come to his senses and realize what he feels for me is a confused mix of hormones and proximity.

But even as I think that, it can’t kill the hope inside me. This isn’t circumstantial. It’s real. I know it is. I just have to have faith. “When you come, I’ll be waiting. No matter how long it takes.”

“I won’t hold you to that.”

It’s such a Poseidon thing to say that I go onto my toes and kiss him. “You don’t have to. I’m holding myself to it. I love you, too, big guy. No one else compares.”

We stand like that for several long beats before he sighs and steps back. “I have to make a call.”

I wander around the bridge as he pulls out his phone. After the efficiency of the attack, it feels strange to be out of danger, at least temporarily. I’ll have to watch for knives in my back after I get back to Aeaea.

Fuck, I can’t believe I’m doing this. That deep selfish part of me that I don’t think I’ll ever fully shed wants to walk back on my plans. I could stay here…and be a burden Poseidon has to constantly worry about protecting. Zeus probably still wants me dead, my helping them or no. He doesn’t seem like the type to allow loose ends to become a problem. There are other people under Poseidon’s command like Polyphemus who were hurt by my father’s plans and actions. Poseidon won’t be able to focus fully if he’s worried about me.

My staying here could get Poseidon killed.

Even without that? I can’t help thinking of the crew member hiding in that officer’s shower, the rest of them kneeling on the deck and waiting to hear if they’ll live or die, all dependent on the whims of the rich and powerful. All because they wanted to provide for their families. How many people like them have been hurt by those in power in Aeaea? I’ll probably never know the number, but for every one of them who is hurt because I was selfish when I could have done something to change their lives for the better…

I have to go home. I have to do the right thing. Not to benefit me, but because it’s the right thing to do.

Poseidon hangs up and turns to me. “Let’s get going.”

Watching him move about the bridge, getting the ship ready to head out, is a lesson in delicious agony. He’s so capable and focused and beautiful, and I can’t believe I’m planning on walking away, even if it’s not forever. It certainly feels like forever.

The ship starts moving slowly, but quickly picks up speed, angling away from Olympus and taking the most direct route to leave the bay. It seems like something that should take hours—days—but all too soon we’re leaving Olympus’s waters.

It’s almost anticlimactic. I watched my sister fight for her life in the waves created by the barrier coming down, and now I’m just…sailing to freedom.

Again, that selfish part of me, the one that’s kept me alive all this time, whispers that I should embrace that freedom fully, should hand off leadership to one of the crewmates on the deck and take off for wherever Ariadne has landed. There’s no one to stop me, no one to check up on if I’m going where I said I would.

But it would be the wrong thing to do.

I sigh. “It’s really frustrating prioritizing the well-being of many over myself.”

At the helm, Poseidon huffs out a sound that’s almost a laugh. “Tell me about it.”

“You could come with me.” I guess I still am that selfish, because I don’t hesitate to throw the offer at him again. “Fuck Olympus. They’ve never deserved you. I don’t, either, but at least I’m aware of that fact.”

His smile is sad and weighs me down from across the room. “You know better.”

Yeah, I guess I do. I cross to him and hug him from behind, letting the steady beat of his heart soothe me as much as I can be soothed in our current circumstances. “Can you sail?”

He tenses slightly. “Yes. I haven’t in a long time, but it used to be something I did often.”

“I’m going to leave you a sailboat in the port closest to Aeaea.” He tenses further, but I keep going. “It’s an open invitation, big guy. I’ll wait, however long it takes. When you’re done with what you have to do here, come for me.”

He’s silent for what feels like forever. “I will. I promise.”

There are so many other things I want to say, but what’s the point? He knows. We both know. We can circle this until we’re blue in the face and the results will be the same. I’m leaving. He’s staying. So I just hold him. He covers one of my hands with his and uses his other to guide the ship to our destination.

It takes far less time that I’d like. All too soon, Poseidon says, “We’re here.”

I lift my head and shift to look past him out the windows. Dawn is just a hint on the horizon, the first fingers of light diffusing the night. I can barely see the shore in the distance. We’re much farther out to sea than I realized. I frown. “I sincerely hope you’re not going to make us walk the plank and swim for shore.”

“Icarus, no one walks the plank anymore.” The fond exasperation in his deep tone makes my heart ache.

“Then…”

“How will you get home without a ship?” He turns in my arms and pulls away just enough to be able to see my face. “You were right to spare the crew, and you’re right to help those who need it. I’ll be damned before I strand you out here for doing the right thing.” He blushes. “And I’ll worry about you.”

That horrible, amazing feeling in my chest only gets stronger. “What did you do?”

“Ceto will be here shortly with a ship large enough to carry you all to safety. After you’ve reached Aeaea, she’ll return to Olympus.”

So that’s the call he was making. My throat tries to close, but I swallow rapidly past it. “Thank you.” I won’t let her go back to Olympus without loading her up on supplies to haul in. With all the civilians in the countryside, it’s bound to affect Olympus’s food stores. “Poseidon, thank you .”

He takes my hand and leads me back down to the deck. There are moments that are too full for words, and this is one of them. We stand together and watch the Olympian ship get larger and larger, until it comes even with us and the crew hurry to toss ropes to temporarily bind us together. A heavy metal plank is lowered and the shivering crew are ushered over.

I’ll have to spend some time reassuring them that we’re going home, but I’m having a hard time focusing on that right now. “Poseidon—”

“I need an additional three months.”

I twist to face him fully. “What?”

“This thing with Circe will be over soon, but no matter what the outcome, there will need to be a transition period.” His voice hitches. “Three months, Icarus. Three months after Circe falls and I’m coming for you. I promise.”

Another promise. I don’t tell him that it has the flavor of a hope-saturated lie. I want to believe the lie too much to poke holes in it. “I’ll be waiting. No matter how long it takes.” How can I do anything else?

For him, I’ll wait forever.