Page 19 of Sweet Music (Sugarville Grove #7)

BELLA

T he next night, Bella parked in front of the stone farmhouse at the Lawrence place and looked over at Cody.

He had been quiet all the way here, in spite of the pretty cool covered bridge they’d rattled over, the big sign for the farm, and even the fields dotted with cows as far as the eye could see.

“How are you feeling?” she asked him, keeping her eyes on the snow flurries dancing down on the little house in front of them.

The cottage itself was twinkling with Christmas lights, and a plastic snowman stood by the front walk to welcome them. But to Cody, she suspected it might look as intimidating as a fortress.

He didn’t answer for a moment, but she kept her mouth shut.

“Nervous, I guess,” he admitted, his voice a little husky.

“That’s completely understandable,” she said. “I’m nervous too. I’m just trying to remember how much they wanted us to come. And that if we want to leave, we can go at any time.”

He nodded.

“We can even just go now, if you want,” she added.

“How?” he asked, chuckling. “I think they’re watching us out the window.”

Sure enough, she spotted a face peeking out from behind one of the curtains.

“I’ll just text Cash that I changed my mind,” she told him firmly. “I’m an adult, so no one tells me what to do. And I don’t mind being the bad guy if you aren’t comfortable with any of this.”

“That’s okay,” Cody said, sounding amused and much more like himself. “Let’s save our battles.”

He took off his seatbelt and opened his door before she could even think of how to react to such a mature statement.

“I’m proud of you,” she said as she joined him in the driveway. “I think this will be fun. The Lawrences are nice people.”

“Cody,” yelled a little girl that Bella knew from reading hour, flinging open the door and clattering down the steps in a too-big pair of cowboy boots, her two ponytails flying. “You’re my cousin. Do you want to see the baby cows?”

“Wait for us, Elizabeth,” an older girl told her, laughing. “He’s our cousin too.”

Bella and Cody watched as a pair of familiar, blond-haired boys raced out after the girls. One had glasses, but that was the only noticeable difference between them .

A dark-haired boy and another teen girl brought up the rear.

“That’s Olivia,” the tiny girl said, pointing at the bigger girl. “And that’s Nick and Cal—they’re twins. That’s Chance and Delphine. And I’m Elizabeth.”

Bella already knew them all, at least in passing, because they had all spent time at the library. She was happy to see so many friendly faces here to greet Cody.

“Nice to meet you guys,” Cody said. “Did you say something about baby cows?”

“Well, hello there, young man,” Maggie Lawrence said, coming down the stairs. “If you’d like, we can feed the calves.”

“Definitely,” Cody replied, a hint of awe in his voice. Bella forgot just how much of a city boy he was sometimes.

Maggie’s warm smile grew warmer, and she approached him slowly, as if giving him time to shut her down if he didn’t want to be touched.

“We’re so glad you’re here, Cody,” Maggie said, reaching out to wrap an arm around his shoulders and squeeze gently before letting him go again. “Your grandfather has a very nice meal going, so we’d better get over to the barn so we can finish up before dinner is ready.”

“Okay,” Cody said.

“Hi, Cody,” Cash called out from the porch. “Hey, Bella. I left something at my place that I wanted Cody to have. Want to walk with me and see a bit more of the farm?”

She glanced over at the teen, but he was already heading off with his newfound grandmother and the gaggle of cousins. It was an impressive crew, for sure, and Cody didn’t seem to be intimidated in the least.

“Sure,” she told Cash.

He smiled, and her heart squeezed a little in her chest.

Yesterday had been so perfect that it was hard to keep in mind all the reasons why she couldn’t let herself fall for the man.

Maybe it was all meant to land us right back here, a little voice whispered now. Maybe it’s okay…

“Nice that it’s not snowing too hard,” Cash said as he joined her.

“Yes,” she said. “It’s so pretty, like a snow globe.”

“My mom says that,” he said fondly. “And she’s right, of course. I don’t think I ever appreciated how beautiful this place was until I’d been gone a while.”

Bella nodded. She hadn’t ever really left, but she had no trouble believing that.

“Have you ever lived away from Sugarville Grove?” he asked, as if reading her thoughts.

“No,” she admitted. “I’ve been here all my life.”

“Smart girl,” he said, nodding. “I should have guessed.”

“Some would say boring girl ,” she laughed. “It probably wouldn’t have hurt me to see more of the world.”

“I can save you the trouble,” Cash said. “It’s not worth leaving for, believe me.”

“Will it be hard for you to go back out there?” she heard herself ask him.

“It will,” he said, his voice suddenly serious. “I don’t want to leave him. I’ve missed so much already. ”

Her heart twisted at the idea of leaving Cody. She hadn’t really even been caring for him for that long, but he’d been special to her from day one.

“I know what you mean,” she said.

“He’s an amazing kid,” Cash said. “And that has nothing to do with me. Your cousin did such a great job, and you’re doing a great job too.”

“He really is a great kid,” Bella agreed. “And he needs a lot of support right now. I worry sometimes that I’m not enough.”

It felt good to admit the truth, though she was pretty sure he would just make some reassuring noises back at her like everyone always did.

“Why do you say that?” he asked her seriously.

“Well, he hasn’t even cried with me yet over his mom,” she told him honestly. “Not openly, at least. I’ve heard him at night once or twice. But he doesn’t talk about her much either. He’s not ready to share his grief with me. I don’t know what to do to let him know it’s okay.”

“How does he react when you cry?” Cash asked.

“Well, I… don’t,” she said. “Not in front of him, at least. I need to be strong for him.”

Her words hung in the cold air between them for a moment. It had all made sense in her head, but now that she was hearing it out loud…

“I don’t know anything about parenting,” Cash said after a moment.

“Of course you do,” she told him. “You and all those siblings of yours grew up with the sweetest parents in Sugarville Grove. You’ve probably seen it all. More than I have, at least.”

“I think maybe he needs you to cry,” Cash said plainly. “He needs you to talk about it.”

“Why?” she asked.

“So he’ll know it’s okay,” Cash said. “And he still might not cry in front of you. But you’ve got to keep her alive for him by talking about her.”

She stopped in her tracks, thunderstruck.

“It can be hard sometimes for boys to express their feelings,” Cash went on, shrugging. “I think it’s why we like rock. You’re allowed to say how you feel if you sing it or scream it. It’s kind of a life hack.”

“You know, you’re an incredibly wise person,” Bella said softly.

“Nah, I’m just a dumb farm boy with a guitar,” he chuckled. “You’re the brilliant librarian.”

Farmboy…

Her stomach tied itself in a knot, and she felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over her head.

“You okay?” he asked.

“Yeah,” she said. “Yeah, it’s just a lot to take in.”

She started walking again, leaving him to catch up with her.

“Slow down,” he said. “We’re in no rush.”

“I don’t want Cody to get back before me,” she told him. “He was nervous about today.”

“Ah, I get it,” Cash said. “We can go a little faster, then. Though if they’re bottle-feeding calves, they’ll be a few minutes. Mom will make them take turns, and they’ll want to play with the babies a little.”

Bella nodded, forcing herself to breathe. Her days of mourning over her online Farmboy should be long over by now. People grew up, changed, matured. There was no reason to let the past keep its hold.

“This is me,” Cash said, rousing her from her thoughts.

He was pointing to a huge Victorian house that had been painted a dusky lavender color. It looked like something out of a dream, or one of the very expensive dollhouses she had mooned over as a little girl.

“You have a whole house here?” she asked him.

“Back in the day, all the Lawrences lived on the farm,” Cash said.

“So the farm has a ton of houses, and my parents let us each choose one. I still can’t believe they kept this for me all these years.

They could probably rent it out for a pretty penny, but instead they’ve kept it maintained just for me. I didn’t even know until I came back.”

She could hear the pain in his voice.

“You don’t talk to them much?” she asked.

“Not as much as I should,” he admitted. “I call every week or two, but I should have been here more. I should have been coming home a couple of times a year, at least. They need me.”

She could have told him that he had five other siblings who were around, and that his parents seemed to be very active and able-bodied.

But she knew that he didn’t mean they needed him on a practical level, at least not yet. They just needed him. He was one of them and he shouldn’t have stayed away from the nest for so long.

“Well, you’re here now,” she told him. “And I can see how happy your mom is today.”

“That’s because of you and Cody,” Cash said as they stepped up onto the porch. “You want to come in for a second?”

It hit her that if she followed him, they would be truly alone in there, and she paused. When she glanced up at him, there was something dancing in his eyes, though it was hard to say exactly what. But she was more afraid of her own feelings.

“I’ll just stay out here,” Bella said lightly. “The view is so gorgeous.”

“Okay,” he said with a half-smile. “I’ll be right back.”

What was that smile about?

But there was no point trying to figure it out, so she went to the porch railing and looked out over the farm.