Page 63

Willow

HENDRIX:You need to be at the courthouse. Trust me.

That’s all the text says. No emoji. No punctuation. Just nine words that send a current down my spine.

I read it again. And then I’m moving .

No makeup. No plan. No idea what the hell I’m walking into, just a thundering heart and a sinking feeling that maybe, this is the moment I’ve been both praying for ... or dreading.

The judge has decided. Or Rocket is washing his hands and walking away.

Both are terrifying prospects to me.

The drive is a blur.

The courthouse steps rise in front of me. Each one I climb, I swear my legs get heavier, almost as if I’m not sure I want to see what’s waiting inside.

I don’t. But I do.

Because it’s him.

I slip into the back of the courtroom. It’s just as crowded as the last time we were here. When my flustered, unprepared self took the stand and was ambushed with lies. The beginning of our end.

It feels like it was forever ago and yesterday all at the same time.

My eyes find Rocket instantly.

Ooof. Just seeing him. I never expected it to hurt this much.

He’s seated at the table up front. His jaw is tight, and in the minute I’ve been here, he’s already adjusted the knot of his tie several times.

The man who commands stadiums is fidgeting like a lost boy. My heart—if there were any pieces that weren’t already shattered—is now in shards.

Uncertain whether I’m welcome or not—and definitely not wanting to catch the eye of any reporters or social media influencers who are no doubt in the room—I hover near the back and try to make myself as inconspicuous as possible.

For one wild second, the uncertainty in Rocket’s posture has me thinking he’s going to give her up. He’s going to say the Whitmores are better for Poppy.

Because he thinks that’s love.

Because he thinks that’s protection.

The judge clears her throat and looks at Rocket.

“After having spoken last hearing, you again requested the ear of the court, Mr. Caldwell. I’m not usually one to grant such a request but feel Poppy’s well-being is on the line.

Therefore I’ve agreed to grant you that time.

In saying that, please know that I offered the same courtesy to the Whitmores in case they wanted to add to anything they said last time.

They’ve opted to stay with the statements they’ve previously given.

So, Mr. Caldwell, what was so pressing that you felt the need to address the court again? ”

I suck in my breath as he stands.

“Your Honor,” Rocket says, his voice rough and nervous.

I grip the edge of the hard wooden bench until my knuckles go white.

“I was a screwup in my younger years. There’s no point pretending otherwise.

Like most growing up, I made bad decisions.

I’ve let people down. I’ve been too loud in the wrong places and too silent in the right ones.

I’m not going to deny that, just as I won’t deny the fact that my mistakes have been documented for the world to see and blown out of proportion and into falsehoods because of the public spotlight that my career dictates as necessary. ”

I sink into the seat beneath me, completely mesmerized and surprised by the commanding presence he has over the courtroom.

“But I’m not the guy they’re talking about anymore,” he says, glancing briefly to the gallery with a nod to his bandmates who are still sitting strong behind him.

“Learning you have a daughter you never knew about is shocking enough. It would be to anyone, not just a single guy. But coming to terms with it and the fact that I’ve been robbed of all of her firsts is a completely different type of grief I can’t put words to.

Believe me, I’ve tried.” He adjusts his tie and gets a nod from Sandra to continue.

“Poppy’s not my second chance, Your Honor.

She’s my first real one. The one I didn’t see coming.

The one I almost screwed up. And that’s not because I didn’t want her, it’s because I didn’t know how to be enough for her.

But every day since, I’ve tried. I want to keep trying, and I hope that you’ll allow me that chance.

I can’t account for the reasons Mr. and Mrs. Whitmore were estranged from their daughter.

No one will ever truly know both sides of that story, but I know that Olivia thought I’d be a better fit for our daughter than they would, and she knew Poppy better than anyone.

Unlike their statements about me, I don’t wish to malign their character.

I’d rather focus on and emphasize that it’s my desire to be the best father I can be, and if that means sacrificing my existing life for her? Then that’s what I’ll do.”

I bite down on the inside of my cheek in an attempt to stop the tears. It’s no use—because this is the Rocket I know. Unvarnished. Raw.

No stage. No spotlight.

Just the man I fell in love with, finally standing still. Finally recognizing his worth.

“It’s also pertinent for you to know that I believe it’s extremely important for Poppy to know her mother’s family.

The Whitmores deserve to be a part of her life.

Having custody of her doesn’t mean they get pushed out.

That’s not who I am. She deserves both sides of her story from the people who know how to tell it best.” He pauses.

Swallows. And then something in him shifts, and his voice becomes more resolute.

“But I want to address that too. I don’t want my daughter to grow up in a house where the people raising her think it’s acceptable to publicly smear a woman like Willow Adams just to make me look bad.

A woman who’s done nothing but love that little girl and care for her.

Just because I love Willow doesn’t make her a liability.

She’s not collateral damage in this custody case, which is what they made her out to be.

Rather, Willow’s the reason I became the man standing here today. ”

My hand flies to my mouth as my body trembles.

“I’ll never be perfect, nor do I want to be.

I’ve never needed praise, nor do I want it.

I just want to be Poppy’s dad. Every damn day that I can be.

” He pauses, just for a breath, but I see the muscles in his jaw clench, the way his fingers tremble at his sides.

“Please know that I’ll do whatever it takes to prove that to the court.

I’ll take mandated parenting classes. I’ll submit to random drug tests—even though that’s never been my thing—but the Whitmores put it out there, and now it’s in your head. So fine. I’ll do it.”

His voice catches, just for a second, as I wipe yet another tear off my cheek.

“And I’ll even put aside the contempt I feel for the Whitmores—for what they’ve done to the people I love—because I finally understand that kind of love.

The kind you have for your daughter. The kind that says you’ll do anything and everything to make them whole.

I understand it because Ihaveit. Because Poppy isn’t just a part of my life.

She’severything. And all I want ... is the chance to prove I can be hers. ” Cue more tears.

No one in this courtroom could possibly understand what that cost him. No one but me.

And I’ve never loved him more.

“Thank you for your time. For making the time again.”

A hush falls over the room when he finishes. Truth has been spoken so loudly, that it leaves no room for rebuttal.

I wipe my cheeks and try to breathe.

“Thank you, Mr. Caldwell,” the judge says.

“I’m going to be honest and state that I had decided on the matter but feel that I need to re-evaluate my thoughts, the facts, and all contributing factors one more time.

While the word for what I’ll make is ‘decision’, it’s so much more than that and affects many lives.

I don’t take that duty or honor lightly.

While I said I would have the decision today, I feel it pertinent to take a bit more time.

I’ll have a decision in the next few days. ”

Rocket sits back down, but he doesn’t turn around.

I can’t take my eyes off him. I’m overwhelmed and stunned and...more in love with him now than I ever was before.

He didn’t just become the man I hoped he could be. He became the man Ialready loved .

And he did it without me.

I’m unable to move. The past week, the distance, the pain ... it’s all tangled up in my chest. Because loving someone like this doesn’t come without cost.

Sometimes, love breaks you.

But sometimes ... sometimes it shows up in a courtroom, in a suit that doesn’t fit, with a voice that trembles and a spine made of steel.

And for the first time in a long time ...

I let myself believe we might still have something left to hold on to.