Page 39

Willow

T he sun’s hot, the water’s perfectly cool, and Rocket Caldwell is currently the most distracting man on the planet.

He’s in black swim shorts and nothing else, standing thigh-deep in the shallow end of his pool like some kind of tattooed rock god.

Oh, wait. He is.

The way the droplets roll down his chest should be illegal. His abs flex every time he moves. And don’t even get me started on his low rumble of a laugh whenever Poppy does something cute.

And she is damn cute. Poppy’s wearing bright pink floaties and is perched on the pool’s Baja shelf with a purple plastic narwhal in one hand and a determined expression on her face.

She tosses it as far as she can. When it lands with a splash, she throws her arms up to cheer it on and then waits for it patiently—or not so patiently—to come back.

Rocket laughs. “Popstar, you’re going be dangerous with that arm,” he says.

This time when she throws it, it hits him, and he responds by being overdramatic, pretending he’s wounded, and falling backward into the water.

She erupts in a fit of giggles and then plops down in the water herself, letting her floaties keep her on its surface where she’s playing beside me.

I smile as Rocket moves to my side, where I’m sitting on the submerged step with the water at my waist. Our thighs brush against each other’s, and all it takes is that little touch to have memories skittering through me.

Three nights ago.

His hands.

His mouth.

The way he groaned my name like a confession.

The memory lives rent free in my head but leaves so many questions unanswered.

Like, what the hell happens when you live with someone you’ve slept with? Do you sneak around once Poppy goes to sleep? Do I initiate that desire that’s on constant simmer or wait for him to invite me to his room at night?

I mean, he had no problem pulling me into his office, out of Poppy’s view, and kissing me senseless earlier, but how much is too much since we see each other every day?

When do you cross the line from being playful to clingy to way too much?

What exactly are the rules?

“You’re overthinking something,” Rocket says and takes a sip from his can of beer on the edge of the pool.

I immediately sputter. “No. Not at all. Just thinking about ...something I—uh need to add to my to-do list.”

Rocket smirks. “Very important to remember in this moment.” He doesn’t buy it for a second.

“It is.” I snort and tug on Poppy’s hand so that she comes a little closer to me. “Truth? I have a million things going on. It was nothing in particular.”

“Anything I can help with?” The way his eyes scrape over me says he’s thinking what I’m thinking. “Need a distraction? Me to walk past you shirtless in the hall? A late-night ... snack break?”

My cheeks flush, but at least I’m not the only one sitting here dying a slow death of arousal. “Perhaps. I mean ...”

“All that to-do list making must make you tense. I’m sure a little release would help you out.”

“Yes. That might be exactly what I need.” I chuckle as he clears his throat and subtly adjusts himself as he moves his waist below the waterline so Poppy doesn’t notice his erection.

He walks off the step and into the pool. I study the lines of his back and wonder what it is that’s bugging him. He hasn’t quite been himself the past few days—or at least the easygoing man I’ve grown to know.

Normally, I’d think it’s that we had sex and having to see me—a conquest—every day is panic inducing to him, but his comments just calmed that overthinking frenzy. So this ... this is something different.

“I’ll ask the same,” I say to him. “What are you overthinking about?”

“Not overthinking ... I just needed to talk to you about a few things.”

His words still cause dread to lurch in my stomach. “Like?”

He watches Poppy for a beat, then looks at me. “As you know, the second leg of the tour is coming up.”

“Yes.” The white elephant in the room has made its presence known. I’ve been waiting for this—the I’ll be gone, and you can hold down the fort here talk—I just didn’t think it would feel like this. Like a door opening and a cliff nearing all at the same time.

“Thoughts on if you want to come?” His eyebrows lift from behind his sunglasses. “I think it’s a good idea if you do.”

My heart flips from equal parts hope and panic.

“Like ... what exactly would I do while you’re on tour?” I chuckle self-deprecatingly. I’ve never picked up my life for anyone—well, besides coming and being his nanny now that I think about it—so the idea is a tad unsettling.

“When you nannied in college, did you ever go on vacation with the family you were working for? It’s the same thing, is it not?

You go on tour with us, but everything stays the same—you take care of Poppy, you can work on those online enrichment classes you were talking about to get ready for your master’s—other than the downside of being in a new hotel room every couple of days, you’ll have new cities and places to explore with Poppy. ”

“Rocket, I ...” But I’m also sleeping with you . How exactly does that play in this?

But I don’t want to ask, don’t want to define, or assume something I just took for granted—that whatever this is between us is exclusive.

“The best part is that this leg is short. So by the time you’re sick of traveling, it’ll be done, and we’ll be back here.” Rocket catches the narwhal that Poppy tosses at him and then he tosses it back to her delight .

“Again,” she shouts, and both Rocket and I suck in breaths as our heads whip so that we look at each other and then immediately back to Poppy.

“Poppy! Look at you using your words,” I sing as Rocket swoops her up and spins her around, pressing a kiss to her cheek.

She giggles and snuggles her head under the curve of his neck, her face shining with pride.

Rocket murmurs something in her ear that I can’t hear or read from his lips because her pink floatie blocks my view, but when he asks her, “Do you want me to throw it again?”

She nods but keeps her arms locked around his neck so he settles back down on the step beside me with Poppy on his lap and the most joyful expression on his face.

“So what do you say about the tour, Wills?” he asks as both he and Poppy stare at me with matching eyes.

Excitement bubbles up. So does trepidation. Clearly, he’s never broken a toddler’s routine before. But ... at the same time, this is the chance of a lifetime, isn’t it?

“You’ve never mentioned us going with you before. Why now?”

He presses a kiss to the top of Poppy’s head and shrugs. “I wasn’t sure. Things were up in the air with her and where things stood. Now they’re not.”

Is it stupid that the smallest, romantic part of me wanted him to say it was because he wanted me there? That he wanted to show me his life and what touring is like? That he wanted to share it with me?

But that’s my crazy talking.

We’ve slept together one time. It’s not like we’ve discussed monogamy or exclusivity or any of that.

Do I want to go on tour with him? Do I want to see fans and other women fawn all over him? What if I woke up early to take Poppy somewhere, and I were to see a woman sneak out of his hotel room?

Jealously streaks through me at the thought.

“Hello? Earth to Willow. What are you thinking?”

I draw in a measured breath. “That’s ... a lot.”

He nods slowly. “A lot, as in too much time with me? As in, you can’t nanny properly or you’re afraid I’ll be a different person on tour? As in ... what, exactly?”

“As in testing the boundaries of all the things when we’re just getting used to this situation altogether. ”

“You think I’m going to have you in one hotel room and bring someone back to another, don’t you?” he asks in coded wording since we have Poppy sitting with us.

I would never have expected to hear hurt in his voice, but it’s there, and it hits me just as hard as the pained look he gives me.

“I didn’t say that.”

“You didn’t have to.” He holds my stare and gives the slightest shake of his head as if he’s disappointed in me.

“It was one time. It would sound unhinged if I assumed that there was more or that we were exclu—”

“I kissed you earlier.” My eyes grow wide, and I glance at Poppy, prepared to protest but he waves me away. “What? Let her know. I don’t care.”

“Rocket, you’re being—”

“Irrational? Yes. I am. Just like you’re being.”

“I just—”

“Then make it more than one time, Wills. Make it every night. Make it whatever you want so that when we leave this house to go on tour, you’re secure enough in whatever this is here that you’re not afraid I can’t control my urges with other women.”

I stare at him—eyes blinking, jaw lax, brain stuttering—and try to wrap my head around what he just said.

How did I go from wondering how to bring it up to him just laying it out there in a matter of minutes? How did I end up looking like the ass here?

“And if you say no, then I’m going to tell you, as your employer, you don’t have a choice because it’s important for Poppy to be with me and continue to grow this bond. She can see what I do, and you guys can explore new places. Plus, I want you there .”

My whole body warms with affection for this man who’s a continuous contradiction.

“Rock ... you really know how to sweet-talk a girl.”

He shrugs and winks nonchalantly. “I’ve had some practice. So ... yes?”

I bite the inside of my cheek as I study him. He’s serious. And I’m insane for actually considering it. Right ? “ Yes .”

Poppy points to her juice on the table and grunts, so Rocket lifts her out of the pool and onto the deck. We both watch her walk over to it and sit in the shade to drink it. My mind buzzes with the conversation we just had. With the implications. With the way his words made me feel .

“Wait ... you saidyou wanted to talk about a fewthings . What are the other things?”

He sighs, his tone shifting as he glances over to make sure Poppy is still in the shade. “My lawyer called a few days ago.”

Nothing good ever seems to come from those words.

“What is it?”

“Olivia’s parents—Poppy’s grandparents—have petitioned for custody of Poppy.”

“How is that possible? On what grounds?”

“According to the petition they filed earlier today, they claim that my lifestyle is unsuitable for a toddler. They’re claiming I’m unstable, always on the road, and that it’ll be detrimental to Poppy.

That she’ll be raised by a nanny if she’s living with me, whereas they’d raise her if she were with them. ”

His words twist my stomach. “And?”

“And what?”

“And how do we fight this? What is it we need to do to put this to rest?”

His grin is loaded with pride. “Whatever it takes.”

Those three words have relief surging through me, but it’s tangled in something messy. A month agoI didn’t even know him, and now I’m emotionally overloaded—I’m now a part of this fight too.

“ Whatever it takes ,” I whisper back.

“Dadda,” Poppy yells seconds before the narwhal comes flying past our heads.

We don’t even glance at the narwhal because we both look at Poppy and grin at her. She looks at us like she doesn’t understand what the big deal is, and so we leave it as is despite both of us screaming inside. At her second word. At the significance.

And when the moment passes, when she giggles and picks up more of her toys to throw in the pool like she didn’t just rock our world, I steal a glance at Rocket.

He’s staring at her, with love and pride and awe and everything in between etched in the lines of his expression. He looks at me and nods.

“There’s no way I’m losing her, Willow. No way in hell. We’re just getting started.”

It shouldn’t feel like a promise, but itdoes.

Still, my voice is quieter now when I speak.