Page 23 of Surrender to the Earl (Brides of Redemption #2)

Throughout the day, he’d found himself thinking about what Audrey might say, how the people would react to her warmth and caring.

He wondered what she was doing, if she spent the day nursing Molly or exploring her home.

He had been trying to keep an emotional distance between them, but it just wasn’t working.

Robert’s good intentions faded when he saw Audrey the next morning.

Once again, the door was unmanned, and he walked into her entrance hall unannounced.

He would have tracked down Francis, but knew she wouldn’t be pleased at his interference.

He found her in the study reading one of her embossed books.

He was five steps inside before she gave a start of surprise.

“So much for your vaunted ability to tell people apart,” he teased.

“Good morning, Robert,” she said, slowly smiling her pleasure.

And it was pleasure. She was happy to see him. “So maybe we need a signal so you’ll know it’s me.”

“You could knock,” she answered dryly. “In some cultures, that is the signal someone has arrived.”

“We could have different signals for different things,” he said, ignoring her common sense. “The ‘I need to talk privately’ signal, the ‘Someone’s coming!’ signal.”

He came around the desk until he was beside her. She looked so flustered at his approach, rising up as if to meet him partway. And instead that brought them face-to-face, and before he knew it, against all resolve, he leaned in and kissed her.

Her lips were sweetly parted, so still at first that he knew he’d shocked her.

He pressed several gentle kisses along the full lower curve, gradually deepening until he could just taste the warmth between.

He cupped the back of her head, tilting her, and with a breathless moan she opened her mouth to him.

He explored her, gently teased her tongue until she met his.

Then the kiss turned bolder, more passionate, and he couldn’t get enough of the taste of her.

He felt the press of her body against him, and even with all the clothes separating them, it was alluring and encompassing and all that mattered.

He knew with a certainty that he wanted her to be a scandalous widow and take him as her lover.

Audrey was lost in the heat, the urgency, the sensations of Robert taking possession of her mouth, her very will. She could feel the long press of his body against hers, the power, the forcefulness that made refusing unthinkable.

She broke the kiss then, suddenly frightened at how easily he swept away all her restraint, all her promises to never need another man.

“I—I can’t,” she whispered. “Please don’t ask me to.”

She was still in his arms, and he didn’t let her go as he said in a hoarse voice, “I didn’t intend this to happen but I did enjoy it. Will you accept my apology?”

“Perhaps … perhaps if you would release me first.”

And then he did, and she had to put her hand against the desk to hold herself upright, as if she could no longer stand without his support.

She didn’t need anyone’s support, she told herself. But it was more difficult than she’d imagined, playing the role of his fiancée, pretending to be drawn to each other, and not making it happen for real.

He’d promised to take Molly’s role in her life, and when he wasn’t there yesterday, she’d felt almost helpless, something so alien to her nature.

She was seeing how much she depended on Molly—on another person—to guide her through the sighted world.

And it was frightening to know she could never have full independence because of her blindness.

But she couldn’t use him to bring back her confidence. Only she could do that for herself.

“I don’t know what you’re thinking, Robert,” she said at last, when all she could hear was his ragged breathing. “But I’ve told you I won’t play the scandalous widow to your rake. I am not interested in an affair.”

“I know,” he murmured, “and I didn’t mean to try to convince you. Hell, I don’t know what I was trying to do. I just saw you there, looking sweet and irresistible, and I kissed you. And then I thought, What would be wrong with an affair?”

“No. Now sit over there,” she said, pointing to the other side of the desk. “Let’s keep some distance here.”

“Is that for my benefit or yours?”

He was teasing her again, and she tried to relax. “Yours,” she answered firmly.

“I am just a man, Audrey, no paragon.”

“No one is perfect,” she said, sighing as she sat down. “Least of all me. Just to prove how not-perfect I am, shall I tell you what happened yesterday?”

“What happened?” The amusement was gone from his voice.

“Do not over-worry. I started out the day surprisingly well. I met with Mr. Drayton, and we discussed the problems my tenants brought forth. We even discussed the finances, and my ability to hold a feast to celebrate a successful harvest and get to know everyone.”

“Will it be possible?”

“It will. I would have liked to invite the poor of the parish, but he says that would put too deep a strain on us this year. But maybe next.”

“And this is why you’re not perfect?” he asked, bemused.

“Oh, no, let me tell you about my next idea.” She put a finger to her lips, then rose, circled the desk and went to shut the door.

“Now who’s scandalous?” he asked.

“We’re engaged. Just listen.” She returned to her leather chair.

“I decided it was time to get to know Mr. Sanford better. I seldom actually see him, and when I do, his voice sounds so gruff and … disapproving. I don’t need his approval, mind you, but I would like harmony in my home, and I thought if we had some time together …

” She sighed. “It was a good idea, but not very successful. I decided to have Erebus saddled and take my first ride.”

“Without Molly or me?”

“You sound indignant, Robert. Why is that?”

“I wanted to be with you your first ride through your new estate. But I imagine you don’t want to hear that.”

“No.”

“So what happened?”

“Did you know the stable dog had puppies?”

“What does this have to do with Mr. Sanford?”

She smiled at the bewilderment in his voice. “Just be patient. So I had Francis guide me to the stables and leave me in the hands of his father—who was not happy to be saddled with me.”

“He is your employee,” Robert said tightly. “The fact that he shows such hostility toward you?—”

“Is curious, don’t you think?” she interrupted. “It just doesn’t make sense. So I had him saddle Erebus, and he was going to lead me about, to exercise the horse, of course, but also so Erebus could begin to learn the grounds. He’s a very smart horse—did I tell you that?”

He sighed. “Finish the main story first.”

“So impatient!”

“Which is one of the reasons I kissed you.”

She didn’t want to be reminded, because the memory of it made her lose all rational thought.

So she ignored him. “I didn’t see the dog, of course, and I’m assuming he didn’t either.

But the dog is very wary guarding her pups, and when we got too close, she set up a vicious barking, startling poor Erebus.

I guess I’d never realized my horse had never been around dogs, because he reared and I fell off. ”

“You fell off?”

She could hear him getting to his feet and coming back around the desk. She held up a hand before he could get too near, although already her heart beat a little faster. “Stay back. I’m fine.”

“Well you didn’t wince when I held you,” he admitted.

“Stop reminding me of that improper moment!”

“I can’t help it. I’m just a man, Audrey.”

“So you keep saying. But I am not a siren who lures men, so there’s no cause?—”

“You have not seen yourself,” he said softly. “You are quite beautiful.”

“My husband flattered me, too,” she said dryly. “And it was all to have his way.”

“I’m telling you the truth.”

“To have your way.”

He didn’t answer for a moment. “Truly, Audrey, you are unharmed? Nothing bruised?”

“Oh, I have bruises in places you will not be seeing.”

“Next to the mysterious freckles?”

She bit her lip to keep from laughing. She would not encourage him. “Mr. Sanford sounded just horrified after I fell. He hadn’t meant that to happen, of course. A suspicious person might think him lying, but … I don’t think he was.”

“You are not suspicious enough.”

“I have changed their lives and made the future uncertain for them. I will be patient. As for my poor horse, Erebus didn’t know what to do with himself. He kept nudging me with his nose. I think he was trying to apologize.”

“Or trying to get away from Sanford. Did the horse seem neglected?”

“Heavens, no. He was his usual temperament, though glad to see me, of course. Your horse has been in the stables every day. He is well, is he not?”

“He is, but I’m a visiting earl, not the unwished-for blind mistress. Promise me you’ll be careful, Audrey.”

“I will.”

“And next time wait for me.”

“Or Molly.”

“Oh very well. Were you going to ask me what I was doing yesterday?”

“Of course.”

He told her about visiting his tenants, and his plans for more cottages.

“That sounds wonderful, Robert!”

“But I missed having you with me.”

She ignored the serious tone of his voice. “And how would that have looked? Like you couldn’t be apart from your blind fiancée. I’d look helpless and you’d look weak.”

“You’re wrong but let us agree to disagree. So what can I do to help you today?”

“I’d like to read through the household ledgers, without Mr. Drayton looking over our shoulders.

If you would do me the honor of reading aloud, I can hear the expenditures of the estate in detail.

I need to make certain we can continue to sustain ourselves, because, as you know, I bring no money myself, and all that’s left is what little is held in trust.”

“So where do I find these ledgers?”

“They should be here in the study—somewhere. But there are a lot of books. I imagine they’re near the desk …”

She listened as he began to search. “They were quite large and leather-bound when I looked at them with Mr. Drayton.”

After a few minutes, he said, “I don’t see them. Could he have taken them home?”

“He keeps his own copies, which he brings every time to make sure they match. I guess he could have taken our copy accidentally. But the books are so heavy, how could he not have known he carried two?”

But they didn’t find the ledgers, nor were they with Mrs. Sanford’s kitchen account book. Was this just another attempt to fluster her? Audrey couldn’t help thinking.

Francis appeared in the kitchen and intoned, “You have a visitor, Mrs. Blake.”

Audrey perked up—her first visitor, if one didn’t count Robert. Perhaps the vicar’s wife was making an appearance already.

“It is your sister, Miss Blythe Collins, and her lady’s maid.”

Audrey came to a complete stop just as she was beginning to cross the kitchen, and Robert ran into her from behind, catching her arms in case she stumbled forward.

“Your sister?” Robert asked in surprise. “Isn’t she supposed to be in London?”

“She was. I have no idea what is going on. I hope nothing is wrong.”