Page 16 of Surrender to the Earl (Brides of Redemption #2)

“Not often, but I learned to write by guiding my pencil between two pieces of string. I can make myself understood, but Molly is usually my secretary. But what Molly couldn’t help me with was the loss I felt being unable to see people’s faces.

It is shocking how we depend upon that. We adjust everything we say and do because of a person’s expression, and I realized that at seven years of age I felt …

left out. I gradually adjusted, of course, and learned about tones of voice, but it’s not the same.

” She hesitated, then sighed. “I will confess, that part of me feels like that little girl again. I never imagined how much confident knowledge of my home affected me.”

“You’ll have that again,” he insisted. “It will just take time.”

She gave him a rueful grin. “You are so certain of me?”

“I am. But now I must go. My steward is expecting me. I have yet to set foot in my country house in nine years. Apparently, there is much I need to do.”

“And I am certain of you,” she countered.

“Thank you, but men do not need to be so bolstered,” he said. “We are confident.” He rose to stand before her, took her hand, and bowed over it. “Until tomorrow, Audrey.”

“That is not necessary, Robert. You have much to do.”

“I decide my own schedule, madam, one of the privileges of being an earl.”

“But I will understand if your duties keep you away. You have fulfilled your promise, my lord, and seen me safe. You owe me nothing else.”

Don’t I? he found himself wondering. Was providing escort all it took to make up for a man’s life? He didn’t think so.

Audrey stood at the window for a long time, feeling the late autumn sun on her face, as if she could watch Robert ride away. She was surprised by how much she’d come to rely on him in just a few short days, on his solid presence, his confidence, his air of command.

She didn’t have any of that herself, as the tour of the house had shown her.

She’d once believed she did, but now? Now she’d traveled to places she could no longer picture in her mind, been attacked in her bedchamber, and met servants who didn’t seem at all glad to see her.

Oh, they were polite, but she felt they were directing their voices at Robert more than herself.

She understood why, of course, he being a titled nobleman.

They even spoke to Molly, as she explained each room in detail.

And the furnishings in those rooms! They were all hidden traps that could make her look and feel foolish. Should she begin to use a cane? No, Robert was right; with practice, she would learn the layout of the house. She was simply still uneasy after the attack at the inn.

She winced, remembering how Molly had made certain the servants knew she was betrothed to an earl. Audrey had known the necessity at her father’s home, but she hadn’t thought through the consequences here. Did she want to be respected merely because she was supposed to become a countess?

Or should she just announce a change of heart today—right now? Then she’d be here on her own merits, dealing with the servants in her own right.

But she had to discuss it with Robert first. It seemed …

ungrateful to make a sudden decision without him.

She turned to walk toward the entrance hall and bumped her leg, hard, on a low table.

Wincing, she put out her hands and began to move about the drawing room again, planting each piece of furniture in her mind’s eye.

She would memorize everything, one room at a time.

That night, Audrey was relieved to be alone in her bedroom at last. It was the only place she felt safe, since Molly had specifically helped her rearrange the furniture to more suitable, functional positions. And her day? Not what one would call a success.

Molly had spent the afternoon unpacking their trunks, and Audrey had had her first meal alone in the dining room. Though she’d invited Molly to join her, the maid didn’t think that set the correct tone for the household, and Audrey had reluctantly agreed.

She’d spent many a meal alone, of course, since she’d seldom been permitted to leave her home.

But this was different. Audrey had been left sitting long past when she should, waiting for the meal to commence.

Mrs. Sanford had apologized for her tardiness, and Audrey had believed her that she would need a day or two and consultations with Audrey to prepare the right menu.

But was that a reason some of the food was cold?

It had tasted fine, but the service left much to be desired.

She told herself it was just the first day—and a long one.

Molly had already retired for the night, and Audrey would do the same.

But first, she stood at the window and imagined where Robert must be—and missed him, even though he’d be gone from her life soon.

She couldn’t become attached, couldn’t let herself care.

She was never again going to be at someone else’s mercy.

At midmorning the next day, Audrey was in her bedroom with Molly, making decisions about how best to arrange things, when there was a soft knock at the door. Audrey opened it and heard—nothing.

“Who is it?” she asked, controlling her irritation. More than once she’d explained how she liked to be told who it was without asking. But she’d say it again. It would just take a while.

“Sorry, Mrs. Blake, ma’am, it’s Evelyn. You have a caller.”

“And the caller is …”

“The Earl of Knightsbridge, beggin’ your pardon. He’s in the drawin’ room.”

She felt a thrill of excitement she had no business feeling.

He felt far too protective of her—that was the reason he’d returned.

Or he thought she couldn’t handle things herself.

“Thank you. Please tell him I’ll be down in a moment.

” When Evelyn had gone, she heard Molly chuckle. “And what is that for?”

“You should see your face at just the mention of his name. Go to him, miss. Leave me to all of this. Take a walk and get out of this house.”

“But I just got here,” she said, feeling tired already.

“I know but … it is not the welcoming place I’d hoped for you, miss. We’ll work on that.”

It wasn’t as if Audrey felt like she could terminate the employment of a whole family, not without good cause. But … “Oh, very well, Molly.”

“Shall I escort you down?”

“No!” she said, too sharply, then sighed. “Forgive me.”

“Nothing to forgive, Miss Audrey. No one said adjusting was going to be easy, not for any of us. Now you run along and see that fiancé of yours.”

She was expecting Molly’s usual dreamy tone when talking about Robert, the one that made Audrey grind her teeth together, but instead, the maid simply sounded tired.

“Molly, you don’t sound yourself. Are you feeling well?”

Her hesitation spoke volumes.

“I’ll be fine, miss. Just overtired from the travel.”

“Then you rest while I’m gone.”

“But—”

“I insist, Molly O’Hern.”

“Very well, miss,” she said, her voice as meek as a mouse.

Shaking her head, Audrey grinned at her before leaving the room. She moved at such a slow pace, it left her frustrated. But God forbid she fall down the stairs and become truly crippled. By the time she made it to the drawing room, she must have left Robert waiting an uncomfortably long time.

“Robert?”

She heard … nothing. She said his name again, then stepped into the entrance hall. “Francis?” But the footman didn’t answer.

She went across the hall to the study and called Robert’s name again. She received no answer, but this time, she heard a noise, and as she slowly moved into the room to investigate, hands held before her, she heard it again. Snoring.

She cocked her head, then turned in the proper direction, trying to sort the correct layout of the room from all the ones she’d been shown. There was a deep chair right?—

Her hand encountered a male shoulder, and she gave a little shake. “Robert?”

The faint rumbling died away in a snort. “Audrey? Did I fall asleep?”

She smiled. “You must have. I came as soon as I heard about your arrival. Has it been that long?

There was a pause, and he said, “A half hour at least.”

She groaned. “We will do better next time, I promise.”

“We?”

“Never mind.” She was not going to complain about the servants! “So tell me, how was your homecoming?”

“The place is the same as I remember,” he said ruefully. “Old and formal and run perfectly on schedule.”

How wonderful.

“But I’m not complaining. They were happy to see me, and I was glad that old ghosts don’t seem to haunt the place.”

She wanted to touch his face, to soothe him, but she clasped her hands to keep them still.

“So have you walked the grounds of your estate?” he asked.

“Not yet. We were busy unpacking.”

“Then come take a walk with me.”

That coincided perfectly with Molly’s idea, and she couldn’t help smiling. “Let me fetch my shawl. I like to keep one in the entrance hall, just in case.”

But of course it wasn’t there, and Evelyn rushed back upstairs to retrieve one for her. Audrey knew Molly had put one in the hall, but she didn’t say anything.

“Shall we begin?” Robert asked, taking her arm in his.

And her very excitement at just that contact made her feel wary and resigned. This couldn’t go on, looking forward to seeing him, being with him—touching him.

But she let him guide her around the park and describe the sheep on a distant hill, the hedgerows separating farmed fields, the garden with the dirt paths.

“I’ll have to put gravel here,” she mused. “Much easier for me to stay on the path. Do you see Mr. Sanford?”

“I have once or twice. He’s in the stables now. Shall we go there and tell him about your plans?”

“Oh, I need to come up with a list first, rather than spring them on him whenever I think of something. But let’s see the stables just the same, and you tell me what you think.”