Page 16 of Sun and Stone (Elementally Yours #5)

16. Changes of Fortune

When alone and studying one afternoon, Fynn sends me a text.

Fynn: Will you bring me my posterboard?

I can see right through that man. Forgot his posterboard? More like he ‘forgot’ his posterboard.

My sweatpants are practically glued to the couch and there's a fine layer of Cheeto dust covering everything. He's just trying to get me out of the house.

Perry: You didn't forget your computer too, did you?

Fynn: No, but there is something else I forgot.

Perry: Oh yeah, what's that?

Fynn: To tell you how much I appreciate you.

Well, damn. Can't say much to that. Flattery will get you everywhere, Mr. Callahan.

Perry: Be there soon.

These days, I'm just concentrating on magic and not getting out much. My time is running out. It's amazing that Fynn is in a worse spot than me and yet he's going on with his life like nothing is wrong.

The board is currently propped up against the TV. Covering the TV up, in fact, it's so big. Pretty hard to forget.

Also hard, it turns out, is getting out the door with the wide posterboard.

"Work with me, you stupid thing."

The oversized posterboard just doesn't want to cooperate. When it won’t budge, I step back and start angling the board so it will fit, but the door starts slipping shut before I make it through. I use my foot to keep the door open, then think better of it, not wanting the poster to get hit by the door and dented.

Fortunately, Perry Eddison is smarter than the average door. I set the board down and open the door wide. My magic activates, and I call on a small stone sculpture from my bedroom dresser. It floats over and drops down in front of the door to hold it open. There we go.

Before I can grab the board again, a strange sensation washes over me.

The stone sculpture consisting of smooth, circular rocks piled on top of each other comes undone, and the stones spill across the floor. One gets stuck in the doorway, keeping it open a crack. Some of the loose stones start crumbling, dissolving into dust.

"What the…"

The rock pendant around my neck suddenly heats up, scorching my skin. I gasp and clutch it, trying to yank it off before it burns me.

I yank the chain off my neck and stare in horror as the dark stone token fractures down the middle. It slips from my palm and clatters to the floor.

Oh my god. This is it. The end of the road. I'm at my breaking point. The Point of No Return.

"Perfect," I laugh, slightly hysterical. "That's just fucking perfect."

Just my luck. Of all the things to push me over the edge, it's a door jamb that proves to be my undoing.

Suddenly, Fynn appears and pulls the door open. "What's so funny?"

"What, what are you doing here?" My voice sounds hoarse. At least I managed to form words. "I was supposed to be coming to you."

"Change of plans." He's grinning from ear to ear, overjoyed and excited. Panting too, like he ran up a few flights of stairs to get to me. "I needed to tell you in person."

"Tell me what?"

"I passed," he announces. "The sun accepted me. I'm going to be a sunbrand!"

~

“Are you sure?” Fynn asks from the doorway. I can feel him worrying. “I can stay. It’s no trouble.”

“Go back to work,” I respond. “I’ll be fine.”

Fynn dropped by to deliver the happy news in person. He’s going to be a wizard. The small celebration we had passed by in a blur. We cracked open two bottles of beer from the fridge for an impromptu toast. Wanting him to have his moment, I didn’t tell him my own news until he was about to head back out.

He offered to stay, but I’d rather not ruin his excitement. And I could use a moment to myself to process the development about my token breaking.

Fynn leaves, and I crash down onto my couch.

My token cracked. I'm done with magic. No more practicing, no more spells. I only have one last hurrah. I’ll get a replacement token, but it’s only to be used for my last attempt, which could be the last time I ever use magic again. One last chance to show magic and the elements I'm worthy.

And to be honest? I'm totally stumped about what to do. What incredible feat of magic is good enough for my last try? What performance will finally impress the elements?

None of this has made me a happy camper.

"Come on, Per, you can't give up hope," Fynn tells me a few days later. He’s already up and dressed for work. He takes one look at the defeated man on the bed and starts encouraging me. "The sun element accepted me at the last minute. It could happen for you too."

"It wasn't that simple and you know it." Twisting my head, I shove my face into the nearest pillow.

"I was still within weeks of losing my magic."

"But that was your test, that's what you told me."

It's unclear how much of that was intelligible with a pillow covering my mouth, but he seems to get the gist.

"Apparently, I wasn't the only one worried about losing myself if I chased magic again. With only one last chance remaining, the sun wanted to see if I'd push away everything that mattered to me. When I proved that I'd learned from my mistakes, I gained the sun's acceptance."

I sigh and flop onto my back. "Are you trying to make a point?”

"No. I just want to tell you not to give up and that I believe in you." He approaches the bed and bends down, giving me a peck on the lips. "Don't give up. I believe in you."

I know he means well. "Maybe you're right," I mumble, summoning a smile.

He leaves first, but I manage to drag myself out the door a short time later.

The bell above the coffee shop door chimes as I step inside, but the familiar scent of freshly ground beans and buttery pastries does little to lift my mood. I scan the cozy space, spotting Argyle's distinctive blue-scaled arm waving at me from a table by the window.

I weave through the bustling morning crowd, dodging a harried-looking barista carrying a tray of steaming drinks.

"Hey, Per," my best friend greets me. "I was starting to worry you wouldn't show."

I plop down across from him, letting out a heavy sigh. "Sorry, I, uh, hit the snooze button a few too many times this morning."

Argyle produces a small crystal vial filled with an iridescent blue liquid. "Here. I made this tonic to keep you healthy and energized."

"Thanks man." I uncork the vial, and a scent like a sea breeze wafts out. I drink it in one gulp, feeling a cool, tingling sensation spread out from my center. "Nice work."

I give him a thumbs up and he rolls his eyes. As a nymph with water magic, he's especially suited to making droughts and potions with different properties. He also has a cup of coffee waiting for me, and it's still nice and warm.

"How are you?"

"I've been better," I laugh. "But not too bad. Guess I really am maturing after all." I stare down at my coffee cup, watching the dark liquid ripple as my hand trembles slightly.

Argyle takes a long sip from his own mug, and for a second, I think he's going to let the subject drop. Then he nods, those sea-blue eyes of his never leaving my face. "Okay, cut the bullshit. How are you really?"

Busted. Of course Argyle can see right through my brave facade. He knows me better than anyone.

"It's... it's hard," I admit. "And terrifying. There's no silver lining this time. I'm staring at the end and it's not pretty." Stick a fork in me, I'm done. "I've been studying magic for over twenty years, Argyle. What if I'm just not good enough? What if I can't find my element in time?"

I don't know what I'll do if I lose my connection to magic. It's everything to me.

Argyle reaches across the table, placing his hand over mine. "Hey, you listen to me. You are one of the most talented, hardworking people I know. If anyone can do this, it's you."

"Thanks."

We fall silent as we sip our coffees. I look around the busy coffee shop, remembering it wasn't like this last time. This is the same place Fynn took me shortly after we first met. Looks like business has picked up. Fynn did it.

"I thought Fynn and I would be in this together, you know?" I find myself saying. "Both of us stumbling through spells, laughing at our mistakes. But now he's zooming ahead of me, about to become a wizard, and I'm... I'm almost done. I'm at the end of my life with magic while Fynn is at the beginning of being a real wizard."

None of this happened as expected. I thought we were going to have more time where we were both at the same stage, helping each other try to become wizards.

I also pictured us becoming wizards together or starting our new lives together without magic, assuming that we were both heading in the same direction. Now our paths are diverging, leading to two completely different places.

"Honestly I think that would drive me nuts," my friend says. "And I'm a lot less… reactive than you or my boyfriend. I'm not sure how you're putting up with it."

"Hold on," I cut in, suddenly feeling like an ass. "Fynn is great. He's the one putting up with me. Like you said, I'm 'reactive.' Whatever the hell that means. It's not like I'm the easiest person to live with right now. I'm not hiding my disappointment."

"It's nothing against him. This must be hard for you, that's all."

"He's great," I repeat. "Amazing. But yeah… it's not easy. I feel like ugly crying and eating ice cream by the pint. I know he understands, I know it's okay to share that with him, but I just feel like I'm bringing him down when I do. I want him to be happy and I'm happy for him."

"But you shouldn't have to pretend like you're fine right now," he points out quietly.

"It's not just about right now." Oh god, now that I’ve started, I can't stop. "I'm a bit worried about dating a wizard."

"Good," he says bluntly. "You should be." He huffs out a laugh when he sees the panic on my face. "Don't freak out. I'm not saying you should break up with Fynn or that you two are doomed. I know you like him and want to be with him. But asking yourself whether you can date a wizard doesn't make you a bad boyfriend. It's smart. One of you having magic while the other doesn't will have a huge impact on your relationship. It's something you'll both have to deal with and work through, so you need to be honest with yourself about whether you can handle this."

I do feel like the worst boyfriend and person in the world to be considering this. I'm the one who told Fynn we should be together, timing be damned. And I don't regret what we've shared or being with him. But I do need to consider what the reality of dating a wizard entails.

"What if," I whisper. "What if I can't handle it?"

"Then what you have to do next is going to suck," Argyle says bluntly. "But it's better to face it now than avoiding the truth and putting you both through something that's going to implode a few years down the road."

I groan and look around the shop again, needing a break from all the heaviness at our table.

Things have changed since the last time I was here. The bookshelf near the window holds a dessert display case now, showing off the appetizing treats to those who walk by. The sunlight streams through the large windows, catching on the glossy glazes of fruit tarts - the same tarts I told Fynn I enjoyed.

It's no surprise he turned this place around. He changes everything he touches for the better.

Pushing Fynn away is the last thing I want. The more time I spend with him, the stronger my urge becomes to hold him close to me and never let him go. But as our magical paths head in different directions, I wonder if that instinct is just going to hurt us in the long run.

It's going to be jarring, losing power while he comes into his full abilities, being surrounded by what I've lost. Will I become resentful? Will I start hating the reminders of magic all around me? Will I start hating him? I can't imagine it, but the thought breaks my heart and terrifies me.

Maybe saying goodbye is better than growing to resent him. Fynn makes the world around him better. I don't want my presence to make his life worse.