Page 45 of Summer in the Scottish Highlands (The Scottish Highlands #5)

Faye remembered the shortcut down the little lane between Gayle’s house and the next that led to a wrought-iron gate into the back garden of The Lake House. Fortunately, the gate wasn’t locked.

Gayle had offered to drive her down to The Lake House.

With its extensive grounds fronting the loch, it would have been quite a walk – down Gayle’s street, and then down the first right turning to continue along a winding country lane to a house that stood on its own, on the very fringes of the town.

She stepped into the garden, closing the gate behind her. The last time she’d been there, she’d crawled through a hedge, desperately looking for Natty, that feeling in the pit of her stomach that she’d lost Natty again.

Faye realised it would take an exceedingly long time to get over the horrendous time she’d gone through when Natty had bunked off school and gone missing.

She’d only been missing a matter of hours.

It was all well and good looking back on that dreadful experience in hindsight, now that she had Natty back with her, safe and well.

But at the time she had no idea whether her daughter was alive or dead, or whether she’d ever see her again.

Since that experience, she hadn’t wanted to let her daughter out of her sight.

It helped tremendously that it had happened on the last day of the summer term.

It meant no more school for Natty or work for Faye for six weeks, and she could spend every waking hour with Natty, ensuring she was safe and wouldn’t go missing again.

Faye knew it was unhealthy; she’d have to let her go again to start school in September.

Spending as much time as possible with Natty had been the plan for the summer anyway, before Jake had shown up and suggested the holiday.

The fact that she’d even been able to contemplate leaving Natty to be babysat by Gayle while she went out for an evening meal with Jake wasn’t proof that she’d got over what had happened.

She hadn’t. She probably never would, although she knew it was something she’d come to terms with, given time.

She thought about Aviemore, where she felt Natty was safe in a community of people she trusted.

She suddenly had an epiphany. A saying came to mind out of nowhere – it takes a village to raise a child.

She’d never really understood that saying until she’d spent time there.

In London, apart from Jake, and her father, whom she’d stupidly become estranged from, there was no village – no extended support network.

But Aviemore was different; she had suddenly found herself with friends, people she could rely on, people Natty could rely on, a place of safety and security born of steadfast friendships that she realised would last a lifetime.

She’d thought she didn’t have time to cultivate friendships and create that village because of her hectic life and the demands of her job.

But it wasn’t that. It was her. She’d kept people at arm’s length after Yousaf had let her down, thinking she and Natty would be better off without anyone else permanently in their lives.

But it had been a mistake. Jake had taught her that.

They needed people, friends, special friends – they needed a village just like this.

Faye shook her head. No, not just like this. They needed this one, this group of friends.

Faye stared at The Lake House. ‘I don’t want Natty growing up in London,’ she whispered, surprising herself.

She’d seen nothing wrong with where they lived, and the lifestyle they led, until Natty had gone missing.

But it wasn’t even that. It was being in Aviemore.

It was finding her village of people; the ones that Natty could grow up relying on.

She’d said to Gayle, that she wanted Natty to have experiences which would enable her to spread her wings and fly.

But it wasn’t just experiences. Faye realised her daughter needed people in her life – friends like Evie, and Gayle, Nick and Marty, and Annie, Joe, Bonnie, and David.

And even grumpy old Duncan, whom she knew would turn out to be another good friend.

Natty needed more than the two of them against the world – they both did.

Faye thought of her last conversation with Gayle about how when it came to making plans, something unforeseen might come along which meant that things didn’t turn out as expected.

Something unforeseen had come along all right.

She’d had her life all mapped out – she’d got her headship qualification, which she’d planned to use once the current head of her school retired.

It wouldn’t be long now. She’d seen herself working there until she retired.

She’d seen Natty going to school in London, and to university, and had thought that one day she might, just might, be able to buy a small one-bedroomed flat for herself when Natty eventually left home.

That was all she’d be able to afford in London.

And now she’d experienced another life – one she’d only ever seen on television shows and in movies, with friends who were like one big extended family.

The sort of family she’d never had. How could she take Natty away from all this?

How could she take herself back to a life that she realised now was just existing – getting through each day, week, month, year, the end goal being just to see Natty through school and university and to move up in her career.

That wasn’t living. Living was sitting around a campfire toasting marshmallows, and sleeping on a camp bed trying to cuddle the man you loved while your daughter was having the time of her life, giggling with her new friend in the tent next door.

And cycling in the forest, getting a sore backside, and visiting castles, and picking wildflowers to press to go into a journal.

And sitting around big tables in kitchens with Agas.

Not that Faye needed a large kitchen with an Aga – she was thinking of Gayle’s house; she loved nothing more than a natter about everything and nothing with Gayle.

And playing board games in the evening with friends.

Faye stared at The Lake House. Was she looking at her future – with Jake?

Would they have friends around and chat long into the evening while the children played?

Would Bonnie come over with her baby, and would Natty and Evie coo over the new addition to their friendship group, watching her grow into a toddler, and then a little girl who they could play with, and who would then annoy them when they were teenagers and she was still a little girl who wanted to be grown-up like them and use their makeup?

Would Faye have another child of her own?

Faye raised her eyebrows at that thought, which had come out of nowhere.

Natty was nine. That was all behind her, that yearning to have more children – wasn’t it?

Not to mention physically going through all that again, along with the sleepless nights with a newborn.

Of course it was behind her, Faye thought, even as she as thinking what wonderful father material Jake was.

She wouldn’t even have to ask Jake if he wanted a child of his own.

Of course he did. But he’d never brought that up when he’d put the ribbon on her finger, and neither had she, because she knew, and so did he, that if it didn’t happen, or she didn’t want it to, they already had a child. Natty was like a daughter to him.

Faye swallowed as she stared at the house, fast-forwarding in her mind to their future there. ‘Oh, god! I want this more than anything.’

She wanted to be Gayle’s neighbour, and for Natty to run down the hidden lane and visit her second home – Lark Lodge – whenever she wanted to, and run to Gayle when she was a teenager, after she’d had another big falling-out with her mum, because that’s what teenagers did.

And for Olive to sneak through the hedge to visit Natty whenever she wanted.

That thought made Faye smile, despite remembering what she’d looked like when she’d followed Olive, on her hands and knees, through the hedge.

This time she was a lot more composed. At least she looked more composed.

Her clothes were clean, with no muddy patches on the knees, her hair was devoid of twigs and leaves and didn’t look as though it had been backcombed.

‘Goodness, I must have looked a sight,’ she commented under her breath.

But her appearance belied what she was feeling – extremely nervous.

Last time, Marty had offered to give her a tour of the house.

He had a key and used the kitchen to make cups of coffee and to have a break while he was gardening.

Although interested, she’d politely declined for the simple reason that she’d feel she was snooping.

Now, she couldn’t have felt more different.

She couldn’t wait to see the house. As she walked up the garden towards the house she thought, is this really happening?

She couldn’t quite believe they were moving in for the summer.

Could we move in for good? Her last thought, as she walked around to the front of the house and stood on the doorstep to lift the heavy doorknocker, was when am I going to tell Jake my plans for our future?