Page 50 of Summer Breakdown (Training Seasons #2)

“Can you tell me that you do?” she asks. “Tell me this is because you’re in a low period and you’re pushing me away. Okay? Tell me that. Please, my girl. Please tell me that.” Jasmine would never have wanted to ask. She doesn’t ask for things unless she’s desperate, but Frankie left her no choice.

Frankie shakes her head. “You said … you said you’d do anything for me,” she begs.

“I know you push people away,” Jasmine whispers. “I know you do, but you know me as well. You know how hard it is for me to be anywhere I’m not loved. I know you’re struggling, but I need you to try for me too. I can’t beg you to love me.”

Frankie wonders if there are any pills to take that will make her survive this—the way tears rolls down Jasmine’s cheeks so fast she can’t move to wipe them away.

Frankie’s never had an episode with anyone new.

Ezra can’t leave her; they’re related. Cam is in love with Ezra, so she’s stuck too.

Jasmine can be freed, even if Frankie wants her here. It’s not fair.

“What’s going on, my girl?” Jasmine asks. “Please. Tell me something.”

“I – I can’t . I don’t -.”

Jasmine rests her hands against Frankie’s cheeks.

“Is it the new pills?” she asks. “They’re not working?”

Frankie blinks. Maybe. She’s never tried something new, and she didn’t want to change, but trying to convince someone new that her demons are real and not in her head when technically they’re in her head is traumatising.

“Frankie,” Jasmine whispers, a surety to her voice that Frankie can’t miss.

“You’re in a low episode and you think I’m going to leave because it’s too hard.

” Frankie knows that’s true, but Jasmine wasn’t supposed to call her out on it.

“You’ve never had a depressive episode with anyone new, and you’re scared.

You’re being mean because you want me to leave you, but I don’t want to leave you. ”

Frankie’s face falls. She doesn’t want to be mean to her. Jasmine would never deserve someone to be mean to her.

“My girl, it’s okay to be scared,” Jasmine whispers. “I’m terrified, but I knew you had bipolar before I even knew your last name. I love you. I love you when you’re happy and I’ll love you when you’re sad.”

The tears roll down Frankie’s face before she can stop them. Jasmine drops her hold on her cheek and places her bag on her lap, rifling through it. Frankie wants to help, but she’s not sure she’s allowed.

“Where’s my fucking phone?” Jasmine growls.

Frankie can see it poking out the pocket of her bag.

She reaches for it slowly. Frankie holds it in the palm of her hand while Jasmine stares at it like she’s trying to figure out how to get it without touching her.

Frankie looks down as the phone screen lights up.

The background is Frankie and the kids in the pool.

Lani is on her shoulders, and Marcel is hanging off her back.

She doesn’t remember the day. There was nothing of note.

It’s her life. It was her life. She’s going to lose them too, like she’s going to lose Jasmine.

It’s her fault. She knows that, because Jasmine is asking her if she’d ever love her, and she’s telling her no even though it’s not true.

Jasmine takes the phone from her, spinning it as she does. For a moment, Frankie wonders if she’s calling Ezra and he’ll see right through Frankie’s lies and force her to admit she’s in love with Jasmine. He’ll doom Jasmine to a life of captivity, and she won’t even realise he’s caused her harm .

“Ezra,” Jasmine says. Her voice is off, and Frankie almost dies for real.

She sounds sad. Broken, not that she ever could be, but like Frankie telling her she doesn’t love her is hurting her.

It’s not supposed to hurt her this much.

She was meant to take a hit to her ego or something for half a second and then move on.

Frankie watches as Jasmine runs her hand across her forehead.

“I,” she starts but her entire voice cracks. “Frankie’s in trouble, and I don’t know what to do.” The whistles from practice across the field drown out. There are no screaming children. There’s nothing but the sound of the sob that comes from Jasmine’s throat.

“She broke up with me, and we don’t think the new pills are working.

” Jasmine sniffs, and Frankie doesn’t know how to help her.

She wants to help her. Every iteration of their relationship happened right here.

She fell in love with her here. She saw her again for the first time here.

She waits for her every Thursday here. She realised she was in love with her here.

“I can’t,” she whispers. “I don’t want – Ezra .”

Jasmine grips the seat below her. “Okay,” she mutters.

“Yeah, okay.” Jasmine ends the call and takes a deep breath.

Frankie wants to kiss her and tell her she’s sorry and that she never wanted her to get hurt.

She wants to tell her she’s done nothing wrong.

That all of this—every wrongdoing, every hardship—is Frankie’s fault.

She wants to tell her she knew she never deserved her anyway.

“I love you,” Jasmine says.

Frankie lets out a deep breath. It shakes through her body, and she’s not sure how she survives, but it will help later. It will make it easier to go.

“It’s okay,” Jasmine says, with a small smile. “It’s okay if you want to break up. I’ll let you go.”