Page 13 of Sucker Love (Sugar Pill Duet #1)
Suddenly I feel awkward, unsure of how to end things.
I don’t know if I should hug him or kiss him or shake his hand.
Or nothing at all. I remember how he reacted when I stuck around to snuggle after our first encounter, the surprise that bordered on near-dismay before he settled into it and allowed himself to enjoy it for a scant few minutes.
I watch him for a moment, but he doesn’t give me any hints either.
He’s watching me too, eyes glittering beneath the streetlights and playing across his pale face.
It’s not a date, I remind myself. It was just dinner with a.
..whatever he is. I didn’t even know if I could call him a friend yet.
Soon to be roommate? Person I am having sex with?
Eh, fuck it. I snake my hand around his waist and tug him close. Leaning down, my lips brush the corner of his. “Until then,” I say .
He bites my lower lip like he’s getting the last word before he pulls away.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Demi. It’s me.”
“Oh, Luca.” Demi doesn’t sound unhappy to hear from me; relieved, if anything. We haven’t spoken much since I moved out. “How are you? I’ve been thinking about you a lot. It’s been an adjustment, you know, just going from seeing you every day to just...nothing. Radio silence.”
“I’m sorry,” I say. Amelia snuffles beside me, and I stroke her ears. “I’ve been working a lot of things out for myself, I guess. You get it.”
“I think I do.”
There’s a brief silence, an uncomfortable one.
I’ve got the distinct feeling she wanted me to stick around, so we worked things out together.
How, exactly, do we transition from a lie to a truth?
I doubt anyone’s written a guidebook on that.
“I, um, I wanted to tell you that I found a place. I’m gonna be moving. ”
“Oh.” She’s carefully neutral, her tone betraying nothing, which only succeeds in betraying to me that she is unhappy. I know her far too well for all that. “Where at?”
“In the city. The Fens.” I decide not to mention Noel or any roommate at all. “I’m moving Wednesday.”
“The Fens, really? Reliving the college days you never got? Reclaiming your youth or whatever?”
It’s an uncharacteristically nasty remark coming from her, and it takes me off-guard. “Um,” I start, and then fall silent because I don’t know what else to say.
I can hear her inhale over the phone, a deep breath she doesn’t let go until she speaks again.
“Sorry. That was out of line. I don’t know why I said that.
Do you need anything else from the house?
There’s furniture in the spare room you could take.
It’s not like we—I mean, I’ll be having anyone over anytime soon. And I think it’s yours, anyway.”
“That’s alright. Might as well leave it all for now.
I can make do with IKEA.” Tomorrow I have work, but Sunday will be devoted to furniture shopping.
I am not taking Noel up on his offer to sleep in his bed as some sort of interim solution.
That would be the opposite of the boundaries I wish to set—which we still haven’t gotten into, but tonight was eventful enough.
Demi sighs again. “If you’re sure,” she says, and she sounds dubious. “But of course, you’re welcome to take some of the furniture if you need it. I mean, with prior discussion.”
“It’s no big thing.” I clear my throat. “Anyway, I was just calling to let you know. Keep you in the loop and all that. In case something extremely dire happens to me and, well, you know. You’re still my emergency contact after all.
” I’m rambling, I realize. I’ve never been so awkward with my own wife before.
It’s like she’s become a stranger to me overnight. “Uh?—”
“Listen,” she tells me, steamrolling over whatever bullshit that is about to stumble off my clumsy tongue, “my father called.”
Oh, no. My hand is clammy and I transfer it to the other, which means I have to stop petting the dog. She lays her long snout on my leg and rolls her eyes up towards me dolefully with a grumble. “What did you tell him?” I ask.
“Nothing,” she says, “for now. But hon— Luca , we have to say something soon. I can’t just keep lying to my family and pretending that everything’s kosher. It sucks.”
My nice dinner is now roiling in my stomach and I stand, suddenly, much to Amelia’s dismay. I begin to pace the length of my room. “No,” I say. “I need time.”
“How much time?” When I don’t answer right away, she adds, “I know how it is with your dad, Luca.” Of course she does—she knows everything.
There are very few secrets between her and I anymore.
“I know when this bomb drops it’s going to be messy.
But it’s not fair to me—to either of us.
The faster we rip the bandaid off, the faster everyone can move on. ”
“I need time,” I say again, because I do, so much more time, infinite time; in fact, if I can get away with never ever telling my dad that I’m divorcing Demi then I could probably die reasonably happy, and maybe even at an old age because he won’t murder me.
“Demi, I was thinking—you know, if we get through Easter, that would be good. If we wait til after Easter?—”
“Easter!” She’s scandalized, furious. I can picture her in the living room, lounging on the couch with her long hair whipping about her shoulders.
She always was so fiery. Braver than I. “Easter, Luca, have you lost your mind? That’s almost three fucking months away.
You want us to play the happy marriage while we’re literally separated for three months and then through Easter ? ” She’s practically spitting.
“Yes,” I say bravely. “I do.”
“You’re insane,” she snaps. “There’s no way I’m doing that. This is my life too, you know.”
“Demi, please . Do you know what kind of hell Easter will be if we aren’t together for it? Mine and yours are going to be fucking conspiring.”
“And then they’ll have to get over it when they learn neither of us have any interest in continuing our relationship,” she returns, incensed.
“Won’t they? Like adults. Which we all are.
Luca, no. I’m not playing this game anymore.
You figure out a date or I’m going to pull the trigger.
” There’s a pause, long enough that I wonder if she hung up, and then she says, “Is there anything else you want?”
“No.” My hands are shaking. “Nothing. Goodnight.”
“Goodnight,” she says curtly, and hangs up.