Page 15 of Stubborn Puckboy (Puckboys #9)

FOURTEEN

Colby

That … was … Nope. There are no words. Actually, there are too many words.

Mistake.

The best orgasm of my life.

Wrong.

Way overdue.

Risky.

Not enough.

And now, as I lie on top of him, reality sinking in, I can’t bring myself to pull away. I swear it’s ninety percent because I don’t want to let him go and ten percent because of how awkward this next part is going to be.

Navigating his regret, my guilt over not being strong enough to stop it … it’s going to be horrible. I just hope he doesn’t resent me for it.

“I’m so good at sex you can’t even move,” he taunts.

“I can. I don’t want to.”

Novi’s large arm wraps around my back tighter, and then his lips land on my shoulder. “Then don’t.”

That’s good in theory, but as much as I’d love to live here now, the hotel floor is not sanitary or comfortable.

“I probably should.” Slowly, I pull myself up and climb off him.

Novi’s stomach muscles contract as he sits up, our mixed cum dripping down his abs, and it’s only another reminder of why this was wrong but totally inevitable. He’s so hot I can barely stand it, and when he’s covered with my release? I’m about to tackle him back to the ground while I still can.

Instead of doing that, I fix my pants, run my hand through my sweaty hair, and then find my shirt crumpled on the ground.

“What are you doing?” Novi asks.

“Getting dressed so I can go back to my room and pretend this never happened.” Because it’s what I have to do.

But Novi’s frown has me pausing.

“You’re not staying?”

“I didn’t think that was an option.”

Novi stands, picking his own shirt off the ground and wiping himself down with it. “You regret hooking up.” He does up his pants.

It doesn’t matter how hot it was, how much I want to do it again, and that it might have been the most intense sexual experience of my life. If it got out …

“You don’t?” I ask.

The shake of his head is subtle. “No regrets.” When he holds out his hand for me to take, I can’t resist. And when he pulls me to him and crushes me against his wide chest, I don’t resist then either.

“My only regret is not being able to do this again,” I mumble into his neck.

“Why not?”

I pull back from him. “You know why. You still need to keep a low profile. I need to prove to team management that I can be their next head coach. Or the one after that. Sleeping with a player my first year on the job? By fucking you, I fucked myself … without lube.”

Novi winces, and I close the gap between us again.

“That’s not to say I didn’t love what just happened. I’ve thought about it for so long, and I knew taking this position and being around you again would be difficult, but I thought it would be because you hated me. This is … this whole thing between us is … unexpected. And overwhelming. And?—”

In the blink of an eye, Novi’s lips are back on mine.

It’s amazing how a simple kiss can make all the bad thoughts go away.

How easy it is to forget about the fight I had to make it to the NHL.

Sure, I’m not playing in it, but I gave up that dream years ago.

I’m where I’m supposed to be, in the role I’m supposed to be in, and because of a boy I met when I was a teenager, I’m putting it all on the line.

I lean into it and push my tongue inside his mouth, swallowing his hitched exhale as he holds me tighter. He lets me take the lead, his lips pliant under mine, but when we pull apart, it’s him who initiates it. I would kiss him all night if I could.

“Our situation …” he croaks. “Not ideal.”

“Definitely not ideal.” I’m out of breath, and my voice is wispy.

“But I don’t want to pretend like nothing happened. I don’t want to forget. You’re the first man I …”

“First man you what?” I ask, my throat suddenly tight.

“First man I’ve been with … in this way. Without a wall between us. Without that anonym … aninamy … that word I can’t say.”

“Anonymity?”

“That one. I’ve never seen faces. No kissing.”

When I’d thought about the lengths he’s gone to so he can keep his identity a secret, the anti-Pride drama, the glory holes … I didn’t stop to consider?—

“That was your first kiss? Tonight? Like, ever?”

He casts his eyes down. “Da. In case you were wondering why it was so bad you regretted it immediately.”

That is the last thing I was wondering. “It’s not because it was bad.”

His gaze flicks to mine. “You saying I am bad at kissing?”

I laugh, but it’s not really humorous. “Not at all. I love the way you kiss.” To prove that, I kiss him again. Yes, proving a point and not doing it only because I want to. Have to. But this time, I make sure to let him lead and let him kiss me how he wants to kiss me.

He pushes me toward the bed, my shirt discarded to the floor once again, and he lands on top of me as I fall backward onto the mattress.

I never would have guessed he’d never kissed someone before. He’s not in a rush, not slobbering all over me. It’s as if he’s savoring every second he can. Tasting me. Exploring my mouth.

And to think I’m the only man he’s ever kissed? The only one he trusted enough or wanted enough? Maybe losing my job might be worth holding that title.

I don’t think I’ve had a proper make-out session since I was a teenager, but I’m not going to stop him. He should get to have this.

I run my fingers down his back, his muscles contracting under my touch. He’s so strong, so big.

His mouth breaks away, and then he lays his head next to mine while muttering, “You’re going to be the death of me.”

“Literally? Like if Russia finds out what you’re doing?”

Novi rolls off me and onto his side so he’s facing my direction.

“Technically, Russia decriminalized same-sex relationships decades ago, so no, they won’t kill me.

But they have laws about gay propaganda and not exposing children to it.

If I come out and then go home to Russia, I could be arrested.

If my sister doesn’t denounce me as her brother, she can be arrested. ”

My heart hurts for every queer person who happens to be born in his country.

“I said you will be the death of me because I can’t help myself when I’m around you.”

“I could say the same about you. You might be the end of my career, but that didn’t stop me tonight.”

“This is why you regret it?”

When I really think about it, I can’t regret what we did. I’d fantasized about it way too long and way too hard to turn it down. I do regret not being able to hold out two measly years, but I don’t regret him.

“There’s only one thing about tonight I regret,” I say. “And that’s not knowing you’d never kissed someone before. If I had known, I would’ve made it special.”

“It was special.”

“How was it special? It was quick and lustful. It might have been passionate, but it was more about sex than the kiss.”

“It was special because it was with you.”

Damn, if that’s not the most perfect thing he could’ve said.

I set my alarm for 4:00 a.m. so I could get back to my room without anyone seeing me sneak out of Novi’s.

Even though I was adamant we couldn’t hook up again, I’m not entirely sure I said that out loud.

If the way he pulls me back to him and kisses me when I try to slip out of bed is any indication, I either didn’t voice it, or he’s ignoring it.

Or maybe he thinks because I haven’t left yet that this still counts as the one hookup.

Either way, I have to go, and I will.

In a minute.

Any minute now.

Damn it. I force myself to push him away from me.

“If we keep this up, I’ll be stuck in here until the team is all on the ice.”

“I don’t see problem with that.”

“Ackerman will ask why I’m not in the video room doing my job.”

“Mm, quit your job.”

He’s joking, but there’s a real possibility I might have to if we’re really going to do this. Maybe there’s a hockey academy I can coach at in LA.

I shake that thought free because contemplating quitting my dream job, all because Novi wants me, is a terrible idea. “I wish there was a way to postpone it, at least. I should’ve asked the team to come back with an offer in two years.”

Though I wasn’t to know that in getting my dream job, I’d get my dream man as well.

Not to say I actually have Novi. One closeted forbidden hookup doesn’t scream epic romance, but it’s obvious we both want more. Maybe not a relationship, but more sex.

The question is, how much are we willing to risk to make it happen?

“But then you would not have been my coach, and this would not have happened.” He’s thinking the same thing I am.

As much as I love the thought of not having to deal with the stress that comes along with being attracted to someone I’m not allowed to date, I can’t say that I really do wish this job had been delayed.

“Last night was amazing, but I have to go before anyone can see me sneaking out.” I lean in and kiss him with a closed mouth because if our tongues get involved, I know I won’t drag myself out of this bed.

Novi falls back on his pillow and sighs. “I know.”

“Go out there tonight and kick some ass.”

“Will do.”

And when he does hit the ice later on in the evening, and I’m in my hidey-hole with a million different camera feeds on my screen, I watch as Novi has the best game he’s had in a long while. Possibly the last few years.

Does … this mean if I make every guy on the team come his brains out, we’ll have a winning season?

I’m going to make sure Novi knows the magic on the ice tonight came from my dick.

Best coach ever award goes to me.