Page 38 of Strings

“I didn’t Google you,” I repeat.

“Okay. Well…Isearchedyou.”

“Blamemefor somethingyoudid. Classic.”

“How is it that you seem to have no online footprint? Kind of odd.”

What do I say? I’m drawing a blank. “I keep to myself.”

“So you don’t have Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram?”

“Have you been to my apartment? I also don’t have a TV. Are you going to send the TV police after me? Did I commit a crime?”

“Calm down. It’s just a question.”

“Don’t tell me to calm down. You don’t get to tell me how to feel, or what to say, or how to react.” Can’t he leave this alone? How can I get out of this?

“Why are you getting so worked up? Do you have something to hide?”

“Why are you so nosey? Mind your own fucking business.”

“I would just like to know how someone who supposedly worked in Vienna can never have flown in a plane before? Did you lie to me?”

Oh shit. Fear hits me hard. Have I been caught? Do I need to run? What else does he know? “Stop the car. I want out.”

“I most certainly will not stop the car.”

“Okay, you want me to jump? I’ll fucking do it.” I open the car door and he screeches to a stop, pulling off the road.

I hop out of the car and start walking.

“Talia!” He opens his door and yells after me. “Get back in the car.”

“No.”

“Talia, come on. This isn’t a good area. Please!”

I sense the concern in his voice. He called me Talia so maybe he doesn’t know my real name. Did I panic and over-react for nothing? I turn around and look at him. He’s walking toward me now. Through my defensiveness, I made it seem like Iwashiding something. Crap. I wish I could go back and laugh it off instead of freaking out.

As I try to decide which way to go, I’m overcome by the fact that it’s really dark and I have no idea where I am. He looked me up. Of course there’s nothing on me. I don’t exist. I’m not who I say I am. I didn’t think this through. I start walking away from him again. I need to get home.

He rushes to me and spins me to face him. “I’m sorry. I had no right to pry into your life or question anything about you. Can we forget this happened? I can’t let you walk out here alone. Please get back in the car.”

I gaze over at the streetlight, knowing I’m completely lost and broke. Our eyes meet for a moment and I sense he’s sincere. I slowly amble my way back. He follows closely behind. I close my own door and he doesn’t try to stop me.

He gets back inside, gazes at me for a moment, and then looks over his shoulder before pulling back out into traffic.

I feel awful. I acted like a child. How can he read me so well? I’m supposed to be fortifying my wall of protection. I’ve been doing it my whole life with practically no issues. Yet today he easily took a sledgehammer to it. I need to give him a cover story and build it up again, but I’m afraid it’s too late. Would he believe me now? I need to think about this, so I say the only thing I can think of for now. “I don’t like to talk about myself or my past. Can you please never ask me again?”

He nods. “You have my word.”

Perforations tear, that’s why they’re there.

When I walk through the door of my apartment, I say hello to Stella. She’s turned toward the window, looking away. Even she’s disgusted with me.

“I know. I’m dumb! Why do I let him get me so riled up? I swear to you, all day long at work, I’m calm, cool, and collected Talia. Then I get around him, and bam! The old me comes out!”

Stella refuses to look at me and I can’t blame her. I go to the kitchen and bring back a mug of water. I spin her around and touch her dirt gently. “You’re a little dry. Here.”