Page 47 of Strange Seduction (Strange #2)

How Can I Explain Myself?

Still Day Seventeen.

I was a little tipsy.

That was the only justification I could come up with because I was sure I must have misheard him.

“You ain’t going anywhere.”

“You staying right here with me.”

“I’m not letting you go.”

“Tell me you’re not going anywhere, Sweetness.”

“Tell me you’re not leaving me.”

That was all he groaned into my ear as we had sex. Admittedly, my mind was a bit preoccupied by being put through the mattress to notice the demand in his tone.

Or maybe I just misunderstood.

Maybe this was how he dirty-talked, and I was missing something.

Doubt: Sure…

I mean, there’s no way Theo expected me to stay in Italy, and this house he built and the car he got me were just for when I came to visit.

Doubt: Uh-huh…

And the ring…

Well. We’re doing long distance now, so maybe we’ll just continue that.

Doubt: Your level of delusion is sometimes amusing.

What do you want me to say? What do you expect me to do? The man proposed to me in a house he built for us. Then fucked me so hard my mind went into orbit.

Now we’re sitting in the hot tub—Yes, the house had a hot tub—after I swore I would never leave him. How am I supposed to ask him what he meant by that?

Doubt: Simple. Just ask.

I can’t…

Doubt: Why? Scared you won’t like the answer?

No. I know it was just pillow talk. But…

Doubt: Just ask, Carmen. You never know until you ask. Besides, you trust him…right?

The jets hummed gently around us, glowing in soft blue light from beneath the surface of the water. Theo lounged opposite me, head resting back against the tiled ledge. His eyes were closed, lips parted slightly, breath slow and heavy with exhaustion.

The curve of his throat was exposed, and I watched the subtle rise and fall of his Adam’s apple.

My fingers twisted around the edge of the ring, and a closer look revealed it was engraved on the inside with the day we met.

It was stunning.

Thoughtful.

A ring made for me in every way.

And yet, something sat heavy in the pit of my stomach.

My voice was small. “Teddy?”

His head didn’t move, but I saw his Adam’s apple bob. “Hmm?”

I hesitated. “Did you…”

I couldn’t ask at first.

“Did you do all of this—the house, the car, the ring—because you were hoping I’d stay in Italy?”

He lifted his head slowly, eyelids blinking open as his focus found mine.

He didn’t answer right away.

Instead, he asked, “Why would you go back to New York?”

My heart sank.

“Because, Theo,” I said quietly. “I have a job there. A life. I can’t just give that up.”

His eyes narrowed, not in anger, but in confusion.

“We can build a life here,” he said gently. “Together.”

“Teddy. You said all this was for when I visit. Staying was never what we agreed to.”

He smirked, “I remember you agreeing to it just a few minutes ago.”

“I’m not joking around right now,” I said deadpan, and his smirk faded.

“What are you gonna do, Carmen? Marry me and then go back to the States? You think I want my wife living that far away from me?”

“We can still do long-distance until we figure it out. I know it’s not ideal, but we’ve managed to make it work so far.”

He scoffed. “That’s bullshit and you know it.”

My voice cracked. “Come on, Theo. Don’t be like that. Don’t ruin tonight.”

“I’m not trying to ruin it, baby. I’m just saying maybe you staying here wouldn’t be such a bad thing.”

I looked at him, heart hammering.

“And what exactly am I supposed to do here?”

“I’m sure we can find a law firm that would be lucky to have you.”

“That’s not how it works, Theo. The terms of my scholarship, when Marcus granted it to me, were that I had to work for him after I graduated.

Besides, I don’t want just any firm. I don’t want to work with people I don’t know.

I want to work with Marcus. He’s one of the best, and I’m learning so much from him—”

His eyes rolled before I finished.

“There’s more to the world than Marcus Dazai,” he muttered. “Besides… I already talked to him about this.”

I blinked. My chest stilled.

“What?”

He froze like he’d been caught red-handed, the guilt already painting his face.

“Shit.”

“What did you speak with Marcus about?”

“Baby—” he leaned in.

“What did you say?” I pulled my hands back before he could reach me.

“I just told him you’d be looking into options here. It wasn’t a big deal. Nothing’s set in stone.”

Doubt: Oh shit.

I stared at him, each word tightening around my chest like wire.

“No. No, no, you didn’t do that. You wouldn’t do that to me.”

He was quiet now, sitting up straighter while searching for something to say that wouldn’t make it worse.

But it was already worse.

And the worst part was how familiar the betrayal felt. But it wasn’t like the incident with him letting the girl into his bed. This was deeper.

I stood, water cascading off my skin as I stepped out of the hot tub and grabbed my towel. I couldn’t even look at him.

Behind me, he said my name.

But I didn’t answer. I wrapped the towel around myself, his engagement ring suddenly tight on my finger, and walked out into the dark.

“What do you even need back in New York, Carmen?” His voice was low but sharp as he followed me. “Everything you need is right here. I’m right here.”

I didn’t raise my voice because I didn’t have to. “You don’t get to decide what I do with my life. Especially not without asking me first.”

He got closer and pulled me to a stop. “We talked about this. I agreed to take over the company so we could start a life together. I built this home for us.”

“No,” I said. “You built it to keep me here.”

Theo scoffed under his breath and looked away. He dragged both hands down his face, exhaling like I was exhausting him. “Come on.”

“No, you come on.” My throat was tightening, and the hurt started curdling into anger. Suddenly, everything became clearer, and all his controlling behavior I had been ignoring rose to the surface.

This was just too far.

I didn’t stop. “Is that why you reversed the vasectomy and kept nutting in me? Was that the plan? To trap me?”

He turned, hard. “Is that what you think of me?”

“I don’t know what I think of you anymore.” And that part hurt the worst.

His face crumpled for just a second.

“I’m sorry you feel that way,” he said quietly. “But I would never do something like that to you. I just… I did all this because I wanted you here. I thought I was doing the right thing. I promise I only have your best interests at heart.”

“My best interest?” I repeated, voice rising. “Let me ask you something. What about my father’s funeral? Did you send for my things in New York? Tell my mom I’m staying? Or did you conveniently only tell Marcus? ”

His mouth flattened. “I don’t like what you’re implying.”

“It’s not an implication.” I stepped closer, staring up at him. “You went to Marcus first because you knew if I lost that job, I’d have no choice but to stay.”

He rolled his eyes and turned to walk away.

I grabbed his arm. “I’m not staying, Theodore.”

His head whipped toward me. “Why not?”

“Because I don’t want to.”

He stared, stunned. “You think I want to be here? You think this is where I pictured my life? I’m here because I had responsibilities dropped in my lap. And you’re the one who told me to take it. I was ready to walk away from it all for you , and you said I should come here.”

He stepped closer, breath catching. “Now I’m asking for something. I’m telling you I can’t do this without you. I want to come home to you. I want to wake up to you—and for that, I get punished?”

“Oh, please.” I rolled my eyes. “Did I force you into the plane, too? At some point, you’re gonna have to take responsibility for your actions, Theodore. You’re not absolved of all this because you’re unsatisfied with where your life is. Blaming me for you being here is entirely unfair.”

“Why else am I here, then?”

“You tell me!” I yelled. “I never once made you stay here, Theodore. I never once told you not to come to me. Why do I have to come here, huh? Why can’t you come to me?”

He pinched his nose bridge. “My job is here, Carmen. The same job that allowed me to build this.” He gestured to the walls of the house.

“I didn’t ask—” I started, but he cut me off.

“The same job that pays for that apartment in New York. That brought you here. That allows you to have half a million-dollar shopping sprees because you feel like it.”

Doubt: Woah.

“Well fuck Theo, if I knew you were gonna throw it in my face, I never would’ve done the fucking shopping spree.”

“I ain’t throwing it in your face, baby. I’m bringing you back to reality. My job makes it all happen. I can’t give it up.”

My voice softened with hurt. “But I can? What about me? Huh? Just fuck the career I’ve been working towards for seven years?”

“I want you here,” he said, simply ignoring my questions.

I frowned. “I can’t stay, and you know that.”

“Not even for me?”

I paused. “That’s not fair, Teddy.”

“It isn’t?” he pushed.

“No, it isn’t. It’s actually very manipulative.”

“Wow. So now I’m manipulative because I want my fiancé and I to live under the same roof.”

I blinked back tears, jaw trembling. “Theodore, this should have been a discussion! You discuss this with me first before you decide to tell my boss I’m not coming back before I start the fucking job!”

“I shouldn’t have to!” he snapped. “From the moment I told you I didn’t want to be here, you should’ve heard me. But you didn’t care how I felt because you’re too fucking selfish!”

I froze. The room cracked apart.

His face paled like he instantly regretted it, but it was too late.

I turned and walked.

“Carmen—”

“No.”

“I’m sorry, sweetness,” Theo said softly.

“No!” I snapped. “You’re becoming what you hate the most, Theodore. You’re acting just like your parents!”

He paused.

“What?” he asked, stunned.

“You heard me. You’re forcing me into a corner so I have to do what you say, just like your father, and then trying to make me feel guilty about standing up for myself by playing victim—just like your mother.”

“That’s not true.”

“Yes, it is.”

“No, it’s not. Take it back!”

“Stop fucking yelling at me!”

“I’m not like them, Carmen. I’m nothing like them.”

“Prove it. Call Marcus and apologize. Tell him I’m still coming to work.”

Theo scoffed. “Not a chance in hell will I ever apologize to that man.”

“What is your problem with him, Theo? Seriously. This is so weird.”

“You are too close to him, Carmen.”

“I’m not.”

“You are.”

“I’m not. And even if I was, it should not be a big deal.

I’m with you. I’m in a relationship with you.

I’m happy with you. And me being close to someone else shouldn’t change that.

Do you really think so little of me that I’d be persuaded by every man I come in contact with? Is that what we are now?”

“You not getting that it’s them I don’t trust!” he shouted. “They want you, and you’re too naive to see when they do. Just like with Vince. You don’t know how to stay clear of the bullshit, Carmen. And you’re going to be too far away from me, so I can’t watch out for you.”

I paused, staring at him.

“So,” I said quietly. “What was the last three years? If I’m so fucking naive that I can’t keep all the sex-crazy men around me away, what was I doing the last three years we were apart? ‘Cause obviously it wasn’t building trust.”

We held each other’s eyes for what felt like hours.

“We were living in a fantasy,” Theo said at last. “But now it’s time to wake up. There is no way forward for us unless we live together, Carmen. I’m not changing my mind on this.”

No compromise. No solutions. Just finality.

“I’m leaving, Theodore. Whether you like it or not.”

“You’re not going anywhere.”

I looked over his face, trying—and failing—to find the eyes of the man I’d known since college and fallen in love with. But he was long gone. Replaced by someone I didn’t know anymore.

I turned and walked away.

“Carmen!” he called after me. “Come back here! We aren’t done talking about this!”

I didn’t even look back. I walked to the nearest guest room, slammed the door, and locked it. My skin still stung from the hot water, but my chest felt ice-cold. Everything inside me was collapsing in on itself.

I stared at the ceiling as he banged against the door, shouting my name in hopes I’d open it.

I don’t know how long I sat there staring, but eventually, the banging stopped, and I saw a shadow pause just beneath the crack of the door.

Something slid across the floor, and then footsteps retreated.

When I opened the door, I found fresh clothes and my phone.

I clutched them to my chest, closed the door again, and quickly unlocked my phone. My hand brushed the engagement ring as I pressed the phone to my ear.

It rang once.

“Hey, kiddo,” Marcus answered, voice low and calm. I must have woken him up.

“Hi.” My voice cracked. “Look. I don’t know what Theo told you, but I’m not staying in Italy.”

“I told him this would happen.” He sighed. “Carmen. I don’t want to be involved in your relationship drama.”

“I know this is so unprofessional,” I rushed out. “And I swear it would never be like this when I start—”

“Carmen,” he cut in, firm. “How do I know that?”

I paused. My thumb rubbed over the curve of my fiancé’s ring.

“Because I’ll get him under control,” I said softly.

Marcus chuckled.

“You don’t even believe that,” he said.

“I’m serious, I will!”

He full-on laughed.

“You two need to work this shit out between yourselves. Please don’t involve me unless you’re seeking a divorce attorney. I’ll see you when you get back.”

And just like that, he hung up.