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Chapter twenty-three

Darla

H ands reach for my clothes as I struggle to get away. But no matter what I do, I can’t get free.

He grunts when I land a solid kick to his ribs. “Kaa tuli, wewe bitch mdogo!”

“Stop! Get off me!” I beg, as tears stream down my cheeks. Pain explodes in my face as he punches me and my body sags in defeat.

Suddenly, I find myself alone and I glance around to see nobody around me.

Slowly, I sit up as a soft melody starts to whisper in my ears.

As I strain to hear it, I realize the voices sound familiar, and yet…

I don't know who they are. Only the occasional word breaks through the fogginess surrounding me.

“...all have pain… sorrow… lean on… not strong… I’ll be… help you…”

The world around me starts to come into focus as I blink my eyes open. Weren’t they already open? I realize I’m laying in the sand, surrounded by several large, warm, albeit, wet, bodies.

Their voices carry through the storm, the familiar words of ‘Lean on Me’ wrapping around me like a warm embrace. Speaking of warm embraces, there are definitely multiple hands touching me right now .

Instead of feeling scared, like I was from the hands in my dream, I feel comforted and my body starts to relax against them. I know these men, and they’ve done nothing but make me feel safe since the moment we met.

Someone strokes the top of my head while someone else strokes the back of it. I feel a large warm hand on my bare stomach, their thumb gently moving back and forth. I’m pretty sure that one’s attached to the large body at my back. Is that Weston?

I tilt my head up and am greeted by a beard covered chin. “Kingsley,” I whisper. He immediately tilts his head down until his blue eyes connect with mine, and I see the worry there.

“There you are, sweetheart. Are you feeling a little better?” He moves his hand from the back of my head to wipe my cheeks and under my eyes. Was I crying?

I give him a small nod as I try to figure out what’s going on. I move my head around to see Bower laying above us, his fingers on the top of my head. He gives me a tight-lipped smile. He also looks worried.

As I turn, I notice the yellow of the raft above me and memories start to click into place.

I try to look over my shoulder and when I can’t turn anymore, Weston lifts his head, his eyes scanning my face, concern written all over his.

He slowly leans forward and presses a soft kiss to my cheek, making my breath hitch in surprise. My cheeks heat and my reaction makes his lips twitch in response.

I turn my head back to Kingsley and let it drop back down to his arm I’ve apparently been using as a pillow .

I blow out a breath as I try to remember what happened today. We were eating breakfast, then… Then what? I remember wanting to get away from them because I felt a panic attack coming on.

They asked me about my clothes.

Crap shells. That question had single-handedly unraveled me.

I had run straight back to my hammock as I tried to stop myself from panicking.

It took me a while, but I finally started to calm down, and that’s when the rain started.

And not just rain, but thunder and lightning, and that brought back a different memory, one I’d sooner die than have to relive.

I wanted to get out of the rain and remembered thinking this was where I needed to go. But being inside here made the rain echo even louder. And although I was dry, the sounds drove me into a panic attack.

“Zee?” My eyes meet Kingsley’s again as he frowns down at me. “I know you don’t want to talk about anything, but you can, okay? We won’t judge you, I hope you know that? No matter what it is, we’ll be here for you.”

I shake my head, trying to stop the tears that want to shed from his sweet words. “It’s not that. It’s just that I don’t want to remember,” I say with a sniffle.

“Baby,” Weston says against my ear from behind me, his hand pressing into my stomach to hold me closer. “Holding it in isn’t doing you any good. You need to let it out so you can deal with it.”

“I can’t,” I sniffle, shaking my head. “Not now.”

“How about later, after the storm is gone and you’re feeling better?

” he bargains. Part of me wants to argue, to tell him I never want to share my stories.

But a bigger part of me knows he’s right.

It’s been well over a decade and I still have nightmares, there’s no way that's healthy or normal. I assumed I would have to live with nightmares for the rest of my life, but maybe there’s a better option.

“Okay,” I whisper, turning my head so my eyes meet his. “Later.”

He gives me a soft smile and kisses the edge of my forehead. “There’s my girl. So brave.”

I huff, turning back to Kingsley. “Yeah, right.”

“He’s right, you know?” Kingsley says, using his thumb to tilt my chin up so he can look me in the eyes.

“You’re the bravest person I’ve ever met.”

“Hardly,” I say, trying to turn away from his intense gaze.

“Sweetheart, you jumped on the back of a two hundred pound wild boar and killed it with one strike.”

“You swing from vines and climb trees without fear of falling,” Bower adds.

“And you’ve been surviving here for who knows how long all by yourself. You’re not just brave,” Weston says, his lips brushing the back of my neck as he speaks, “you’re fucking amazing. I’m in constant awe of you.”

I swallow hard, my heart pounding at their words. “Even when I’m in here crying like an idiot?”

“Just because you get scared or upset doesn’t make you any less amazing,” Kingsley insists, his thumb tracing the curve of my jaw.

My breath hitches at the intensity in his eyes. Is that really the way they see me?

A crash of thunder makes me jump, but Weston and Kingsley just hold me tighter.

“It’s okay, sweetheart. We’ve got you,” Kingsley murmurs, tucking my head beneath his chin. “You’re safe with us. ”

His words wrap around me like a warm embrace, sinking deep into my bones, easing the tremble in my limbs.

A shiver runs through me, not from fear, but from the way his voice coats every raw, aching part of me.

Because, with them, I’ve finally found a place I feel safe, and I never want to let that go.

We lay there for hours while the storm rages outside.

All three of them offering me words of reassurance that I’m safe, while taking turns holding me.

Hugging me? Cuddling me? I’m not sure what this is called, but whatever it is, I love it.

The longer they hold me, the more my body seems to relax.

The surprising and confusing part is that none of them feel better than the others.

My body seemed to respond to each of them equally, which is confusing and a little worrisome.

Am I only responding this way because I’m so starved of attention? Would I be this grateful with any random three men who could have washed up on my shore? The truth was that I didn’t think so. There is something so unique and special about all three of them that draws me in, wanting to know more.

Weston’s fingers gently massage the back of my head, pulling me out of my thoughts and into the present, and I snuggle further into his chest as the rain pelts down on the raft above us.

Of all the ways I’ve spent my time while raining on this island, this is, by far, my favorite. Luckily, it seems to have stopped thundering now, only the sounds of rain reaching my ears from outside our little cocoon.

Weston’s fingers lightly stroke the back of my head where he holds me against him, tucked under his chin.

A contented hum leaves my throat as I try to wiggle even closer.

I wish I could sleep like this, wrapped up in their arms, but I know my nightmares would ruin any hope of a peaceful sleep for them.

So right now I’m just going to enjoy their closeness while I can.

“I wonder how long it’s going to rain for?” Bower says, breaking the silence.

“It doesn’t sound like it’s slowing, it could go on all night,” Kingsley whispers from where he’s pressed against my back.

“Should we go back to the hut or wait it out here? This isn't exactly comfortable being crammed in here.”

Feeling bad that they are stuck in here because they came looking for me, I pull my face back so I can see Bower. “You guys don’t have to stay here because of me. You can—”

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence,” Weston practically growls at me, making my eyes go wide as I look at his angry face. “We aren’t leaving you. If we decide to go back to the hut, you’re coming with us.”

“Zee, do you think you’ll be okay out there in the rain?” Kingsley asks softly, his hand gently rubbing my back.

“Uh, I guess it’s fine… if I’m with one of you?

It’s really thunder and lightning that I, uh, don’t like.

” I swallow heavily, a small knot forming in my stomach at the realization of how much I just revealed to them.

I know it’s just a matter of time now before they break through my tightly formed walls, to find the real me—a broken, scared, and sad Darla.

“I say we head back, what do you two think?” Bower and Weston agree and before I know it, I’ve been released from Weston’s warm embrace as the three of them manage to push the raft up enough for us to make an easy exit without crawling through the wet sand.

Bower grabs my hand and pulls me with him as we start to jog through the jungle back to the hut.

It’s darker than it normally is at night and yet, somehow, instead of being full of fear, I have a smile on my face as we run, hand in hand, trying to jump over puddles and avoiding large spouts of rain coming down.

Bower’s laughter is infectious and soon I’m laughing right alongside him, especially when he runs through a particularly large puddle that splashes us both.