Page 18

“Uh, yeah. Last night you… You fainted. I was worried about you, we all were. When we woke up and you were missing, I was worried you had passed out somewhere again.”

“You… You were worried about me?” I clarify, still feeling confused.

“Of course.”

I swallow the lump in my throat as I frown. I turn back to Kingsley and he gives me a sad smile. “We all were.”

“But you don’t even know me.”

“Why did you save me from the boar?” he asks without skipping a beat.

“I—” His question surprises me. We both stand up as I answer him. “I didn’t want you to get hurt.”

“It’s the same thing. We don't want you getting hurt. ”

“It’s different,” I tell him, wanting him to understand.

“How?”

“I’ve been here a long time, I know how to survive on my own.”

“It doesn’t mean you have to. Not anymore,” Kingsley says, staring at me with an intensity I don’t understand.

“Now you’ve got us, Tink!” Bower says with a smile. “And if you don’t want any hugs, I guess I can try to hold back… but I’ll warn you, I’m a hugger, it’s gonna be hard.”

The thought of him never hugging me makes me feel a loss I don't expect. I haven’t been hugged in fifteen years, and suddenly, I want that more than anything.

But I have a feeling, as soon as someone does, I’m gonna lose the calm control I’ve been maintaining all this time.

And that control is the only thing keeping me alive.

“I’ll grab your bag,” Kingsley says, probably realizing I’m not going to address the whole hug thing.

“So, what’s on the agenda for today?” Bower asks, rocking back on his heels as he shoves his hands in his pockets.

“I’m going to show you guys where to get some other fruit, and we’ll have to break down Brutus,” I say, motioning to the hanging boar. “Actually, we should probably do that first, it will take a lot of time. But you guys probably need to eat now, right?” I ask, eyeing his large body.

“I’m always hungry, but I can wait if I need to.”

“I don’t have to show you all the fruit today. I can show you mangos and how to retrieve coconuts and break them open.”

“That sounds like a good plan, why don’t we go get West? He’s on lookout at the beach.” Kingsley says as he returns, passing me my bag.

“Lookout?” I ask in confusion .

“Yeah, you know, for a plane or ship? Don’t you do that?” Bower asks as we start walking to the beach.

I watch the ground in front of me, pulling the strap of my bag over my head as I lie. “Oh, yeah, of course.” Totally believable, right?

We walk in silence for a few minutes before Bower speaks. “Hey, Zee? How old—Ah!” he yells as Mo-Mo drops from above onto my shoulder, right beside him.

“Eep!” Mo-Mo trills, looking proud of himself and making me smile.

“Morning, Mo-Mo. You have a good night?”

“Eep!”

“We’re going to get some food.”

“Eep!”

“Yes, of course I’ll give you some, don’t worry.”

“You can’t really understand him, can you?” Bower asks, his eyes bouncing back and forth between us.

“Eep!”

“Mo-Mo! Don’t be rude! He is not a crab sucker!” Okay, maybe Mo-Mo didn't actually say that, but the look on Bower’s face is priceless, making me laugh at his wide-eyed expression.

“Oh, Tink. You’re messing with the wrong guy,” Bower says with a smirk. My laughter dies and suddenly I wonder if I’ve offended him.

“He’s teasing you, Zee. Bower loves teasing people,” Kingsley whispers from my other side. I look back at Bower and he gives me a wink, making my skin flush. Why am I blushing?

Before he can call me on it I start to run as I yell, “last one to the beach is a rotten crab!” I’m not sure if they let me win, or if I’m just that fast, but I hear them running right behind me the rest of the way there.

I stop right at the edge line of the trees, so I’m still in the shade as they stop on either side of me, panting heavily.

“Oh shit, that looks like a good idea. I’m sweatin’ now anyway,” Bower says, stomping towards the ocean.

I stare with wide eyes as a shirtless and pantless Weston moves through the water.

At least he has boxers on this time. Bower whips off his own shirt and pants and throws them down by Weston’s clothes, then runs into the ocean to join him.

He’s a couple inches shorter than Weston, and not quite as big, but he’s still a huge guy.

I try to casually bring my hand to my mouth, to make sure I’m not drooling while giving Kingsley the side eye, to see if he’s watching them, too. But his eyes are on me, making my cheeks redden in embarrassment for getting caught staring at that so blatantly.

“You want to go for a swim, sweetheart? You’re looking a little hot,” he asks gently. Can he tell I’m blushing?

“I’m okay, I don’t have anything to wear anyway—Hey, where are my clothes?” I ask, realizing he doesn’t have them anymore.

“I laid them out at camp so they’d dry.”

“Oh. Thank you.”

“If you don't want to swim, how about you show me how to get a coconut down?”

That thought brings a smile to my face. I haven't talked to Kevin in days.

Grinning, I turn to my right and start moving down the beach.

“First lesson,” I call to Kingsley as he follows me.

“You gotta pick the right tree.” I stop in front of Kevin and plant my hands on my hips as I look up at him with a grin.

“And how do you do that?” he asks, coming to stand beside me and looking up at the giant palm tree .

“Kevin is the biggest asshole on the island, besides Bob. So we always take his nuts first.” I reach inside my bag and pull out Steve.

Then I stand in a throwing position as I speak.

“Second lesson, throw Steve, hit a coconut, and knock it down.” I throw Steve as hard as I can towards Kevin’s nuts and am pleased when it knocks one loose, sending it to the ground with a thunk.

“Yes! One point for team Zee!” I yell, raising my arms in the air in victory.

Kingsley’s body presses up behind mine as his hands grip my biceps gently. I freeze as he slowly lowers my arms to my sides, whispering in my ear. “I don’t want to stop your celebration, sweetheart, but when you raise your hands like that, everyone can see your ass.”

An embarrassing squeak leaves me as I grip the bottom of the shirt and try to pull it down. I quickly turn to face him and take a step backwards, my cheeks burning with embarrassment… once again.

“I’m sorry!” I say, seeing Weston and Bower walking up behind Kingsley. Oh no, did they see my ass, too?

“I promise, you have nothing to apologize for,” he tells me as he gives me a strange look.

Whatever it is I see there makes my lower stomach tighten.

“I’d offer you my pants, but they are far too big, they wouldn’t stay up around your waist. I can give you a spare pair of boxers when we get back to camp? ”

“I—I’m just gonna go get Steve,” I say, ignoring his question as I motion over my shoulder. Before he can respond, I quickly turn around and dart into the jungle.

I search the ground for Steve as questions rattle around my head.

Why do I feel so strange?

What was that look Kingsley gave me?

Why did I want to stare at them in their boxers?

Should I get away from them while I can?

Are they actually safe to be around?

So many questions that I have no idea how to answer.

I find Steve and pick him up, dusting off the dirt and taking a moment to consider what to do next. I could just go back to my hammock and avoid them, like I had planned. Sure, they might start calling my name again, but I could ignore them, eventually they’d get tired of looking for me.

On the other hand, that would mean being alone again. Weston had held my hand last night, and Kingsley, this morning. It felt nice, it made me feel less alone. Maybe having a little bit more of that in my life wouldn’t be the worst thing.

But only a little… I couldn’t let them get too close.