Page 39 of Stone (Claimed and Protected #3)

D ani

“I’m sorry, Daniella. Your child died. There was nothing we could do.”

My child. My son. My baby boy.

I’d never forget the coldness in the doctor’s voice. Never. I’d become hysterical, demanding I see my baby boy since I’d heard him cry. They’d refused. They’d told me I was too upset. They’d given me a sedative. They’d fucking lied to me.

I closed my eyes, controlling my breathing as I concentrated on the soothing sound of the high tide.

There was something utterly perfect about an early morning sunrise. Not just because the dawn meant a new day, a new sense of urgency and opportunity, but because this time of day was the most peaceful.

I used to wake up purposely early just so I could catch the sunrise cresting over the horizon, often being rewarded with strings of vibrant colors.

I’d sit for thirty minutes doing nothing but sipping coffee and marveling at the beauty surrounding me.

Often, I painted with the sunrise in the background, feeling more energized and alive.

On this beautiful morning, I had a mug of steaming hot coffee in my hand.

The rainbow of colors muted against the last glimpse of the moon and stars was picture perfect.

The light breeze was tickling my skin while just being warm enough to keep goosebumps from popping down my arms and legs.

Yet I wasn’t at peace, nor did I feel anything at all. I was completely numb inside.

I’d remained awake all night, cradling my knees while I’d sobbed and lingered in bouts of fury. I had no idea what to think or how to feel any longer. I’d seen the anger and distrust in Stone’s eyes.

The hatred.

I’d lost him for good all because of lies.

As I leaned my head on my bent knees, I studied the ocean.

At least I wasn’t alone.

A single surfer was out in the cresting waves, his ride magical in the sense he seemed as one with the surf. I’d watched Stone for fifteen minutes, nursing the cup of coffee while contemplating what to say to him.

Thankfully, I’d been able to lose myself in his talented ride.

Maybe it would be short lived, but after the rough night, I’d needed a little respite.

I hugged my arms, finally shivering from the early morning chill.

Or maybe my blood was just thin. I’d nursed the drink for a full hour after hiding behind closed doors, trying to calm my nerves.

My son had appeared.

My son.

The baby boy I hadn’t been able to hold in my arms, the tiny creature I’d begged to see, but had been told something was wrong. I’d called for the doctors, demanding I be allowed to see him. A nurse had threatened to restrain me if I didn’t calm down.

My mother hadn’t been able to look me in the eyes and I’d thought that was because she was distraught. No, she’d lied to me just like my father did.

That’s because my father had sold my son to another family. My guess was Tyler’s adopted mother was good friends with my dad. Why would my own father do that to me?

I closed my eyes, sucking back another round of sadness. My eyes burned from the number of tears that had fallen and my heart couldn’t ache any more than it already was. How could my father do something so despicable?

Another tear fell and I wiped at it roughly. Now wasn’t the right time to allow my mind and my heart to be devoured by emotions.

Yet everything was surreal, every memory brought to the surface once again.

When I opened my eyes again, Stone was walking toward the shore, the surfboard under his right arm, the cord still attached to his ankle. He tossed his wet hair from side to side and in the reflection of the light, I captured beads of water as they were pitched on both sides.

If only I had my camera with me.

When he finally noticed me sitting on the beach, he stopped walking for a few seconds. Shadows crossed his face making it impossible to read his expression, but I could feel an entirely different level of electricity than before.

He straightened to his full height, resuming heading toward the house.

I was certain he planned on passing right by without saying a word.

How could he not be furious with me? I’d deceived him.

Not entirely on purpose, but if only I’d had the time to tell him about what I’d thought was a tragedy. If only.

But I couldn’t turn back time. I couldn’t try to explain what had no definitive answers. My father had left two messages and tried four other times to get me on the phone.

I’d ignored all of them.

What the hell could the man say to me that would make a damn bit of difference? Nothing. Not a single thing.

I turned my head away when Stone drew close, fearful I’d turn into a sobbing mess while he walked by. The rustle of sand and a slight thump drew my attention.

His presence was almost ominous, and both the rush of adrenaline and the tremendous electricity was too much for me. I hiccupped, something I’d done as a child when I was nervous.

I’d grown out of the reaction years before.

“You’re adorable when you hiccup.”

“I’m not adorable at all. I’m a fucking mess.” I’d yet to take a shower. I needed coffee fed to me intravenously and I was certain I’d end up going to hell.

“You’ve never been a mess, Dani. Not once.”

Very cautiously, I looked to my right. He was sitting beside me in the same position, his arms wrapped around his folded knees while he stared out at the ocean.

The lapping waves weren’t the only early morning sound. Birds of several varieties were singing to the morning’s glory, their chirps and clucks normally a lovely greeting. I also heard the rapid beating of my heart, the thudding sound captured in my ears.

I’d thought of ways of explaining the situation to Stone, but the words wouldn’t come.

“Do you hate me?”

“I don’t know what you want me to say,” he finally muttered. “I don’t know what to think or how to feel any longer, but I don’t hate you. We’re both victims. What am I saying? All three of us…”

“You don’t need to say anything. I know you’ll never forgive me.”

“What’s there to forgive, Dani? You weren’t told the truth either. Am I pissed you didn’t trust me enough to tell me the truth that you were pregnant? I can’t lie and tell you I’m not. I just…” He raked his hand through his hair, his expression a deep scowl.

“No, I wasn’t told the truth and it’s killing me.

And I’d wanted to tell you so many times, but I didn’t know how to.

You have no idea how much I’ve suffered and how I’m feeling right now.

As if my heart was ripped from my throat.

Being with you reminded me of how much I’d lost. That we’d both lost. I’m so sorry.

I’m so angry. I hate my father.” I squeezed my eyes shut.

This was much harder than I’d thought it would be. “I hate myself.”

There was tension, but we were both very emotional.

“What happened? Why didn’t you feel like you could tell me?” I’d only heard such agony in his voice once. On the last night I’d seen him before he’d left for boot camp. “The last I knew you were fighting to be able to go to art school.”

“I tried. Believe me, I tried. After learning I’d been accepted to the school in London, my dad threw a fit. He wanted me to go to Georgetown to study international relations.”

“I remember. But you’ve always been so talented.”

“He made it clear he wouldn’t pay for something as lowly as art school. I made a deal with him that I could take some art classes. We settled on VCU. Then I found out I was pregnant.”

“When? We talked twice after I left.”

“I know. It was right before I was ready to leave for college, but I was sick almost every morning. It didn’t dawn on me that I might be pregnant.

I was on birth control. Anyway, when I found out, I was already three months pregnant.

My dad threw a fit and wanted me to have an abortion.

I said absolutely not. I still managed to take classes, but it took me a semester longer. ”

“I had no idea.”

I shrugged. “By that point your calls were infrequent. After the last call when you told me to go live my life, I was crushed and didn’t know what to do. I was afraid of trapping you and that was the last thing I wanted, Stone. I hope you can believe me.”

His sigh was so heavy, so full of emotion it almost broke me. “Didn’t you know that nothing you could have said or done would have made me feel trapped?”

“I was a kid. I was terrified. My father wanted nothing to do with me. So I just… remained quiet. I know it was wrong, but by that point, my father was insisting I put the baby up for adoption. Trust me, I fought him. By then I had a job and was determined to make it on my own if necessary. I was just so lost, Stone. So very lost.”

At any moment I expected him to explode with anger. He didn’t. When he reached for my hand, I shuddered, a strangled moan erupting. The burden I’d carried for so long had felt like a noose around my neck. Now there was just regret and guilt, anger and uncertainty. But at least he knew. And I knew.

“We have a son,” he said, his tone full of quiet reverence.

“I can’t believe my father told me he’d died. I didn’t feel it. Don’t you think a mother knows when her child is gone?”

He shook his head. “I don’t know. What I do know is that your father is both convincing and conniving.

Maybe something inside that warped mind he has was telling him he was doing the right thing for you.

That he was protecting you. From me. From my family.

Or from some dirty little secret. I don’t know, but I will find out.

That boy in there doesn’t deserve to be spoon fed any additional lies. ”

When he took a deep breath, I turned my head toward him. “I didn’t mean to lie to you.”

As he squeezed my hand, I allowed a single additional sob to escape. “I know that. I wish you’d told me a day ago. A few days ago. It hurts, Dani. It really does hurt.”