Page 13 of Still Forever

Kenn

“Kenn, look!” BJ yelled excitedly as he pointed to one of the aquarium windows filled with stingrays.

I picked him up and put him against the glass.

I thought it was so cute how excited he was.

He had always loved animals, and every year Storm found a creative way to do something related to that for him.

“Terrance, may I steal my best friend for a second?” I heard Storm say from behind us.

I cracked up. “Taj,” I corrected, and even he laughed a little. I excused myself, already knowing the reason why she asked to pull me away. We walked around the corner so that we weren’t in earshot of him.

“Kennedy Lauren, I talked to you last night. You didn’t think it would be wise to mention that you were going to do a whole pop-out at my son’s birthday party?

Are you really trying to turn the Jennings men up in here?

Lord, I don’t even want Judah and Amar to come at this point,” She spoke quickly, her eyes wide.

“Stormy. I hope you gave him this same lecture.”

“Absolutely, and was in the middle of putting her out when you walked over with Taj.” I laughed because I knew that she was serious. If her word held value, I could cash it at the bank. That was one thing I didn’t doubt, we didn’t play about each other.

“He’s clearly moved on, and I’m trying to as well.” I plastered a fake smile on my face. It was either fake it until I make it or go over there and show my natural black ass.

“Kenn, please. You know Jaxon loves you. There’s got to be more to it than this,” she said as her eyes squinted, and I could tell she was running through the possibilities.

“Girl, or maybe he was tired of me nagging him and got a woman a little more accepting that he won’t call her. Not everything is a conspiracy, and sometimes you have to take things at face value. Jax is so laid back, maybe he didn’t feel like chasing me. Let it go, friend.” I reasoned.

She released a deep sigh. She didn’t want to outright say that I might be right, so she just left the conversation alone. Then BJ started jumping up and down, trying to pull me in the direction of something else that had caught his attention.

“Don’t worry, I’m going to be on my best behavior while I fight the urge to uppercut him in front of these children,” I said through the smile that I was wearing, making her laugh.

I meant every word of what I had said. Maybe he didn’t think that our relationship was worth fighting or changing for. That didn’t stop how I felt about him, but I wasn’t going to be the only person who was walking around upset about it.

Then he had the audacity to be walking around looking good as hell today.

In a simple black designer jogger suit, he didn’t have to try too hard, but he was still the most handsome man in the building.

Regardless of how bothered I was by his presence, I would never let him or his girlfriend see it.

I would mop the ocean before I asked a man, “Why her?”

I went back to find Taj before I took my baby over to the school of fish that had caught his eye.

“Uncle baby!” I heard someone scream; I cringed because I knew it was Judah.

BJ took off running in his direction before Judah scooped him up and held him.

“Oh shit, what’s up, sis?” He said as he came over and embraced me, surprised to see me here. I had hoped that was as far as the interaction would go, but that wasn’t how it played out.

“Hey, Judah!” I rubbed his back as he threw his hand around my neck.

“Now ain’t the time to bring up my banana pudding. But you ain’t have to be dramatic and leave like that cause you ain’t want to make my shit.” I hit his chest as we both laughed. I missed his silliness.

“Baby, I’m going to the bathroom,” Taj said as he started walking down the hallway. Judah’s face fell as he put BJ on the ground and reached under his hoodie. I grabbed his hand to stop him.

“Judah, stop being stupid in front of my baby,” I warned him. BJ stood just inches away from us, laughing at the colors of the fish, not knowing that his uncle was about to shut his party down.

Judah didn’t let up on me as easily as Storm did.

We went through a whole back and forth about why I brought a man to their family function.

He told me I was disrespectful, then said the Taj looked like a car salesman.

Then I asked him why he wasn’t talking to his brother about bringing his girlfriend.

By the time we were done, I couldn’t tell if I wanted to laugh more, cry, or cuss everyone out.

I had all these emotions, and I still had to make it through cake and presents.

We parted ways, and I spent the next hour and a half taking BJ from window to window and into the area that they had transformed into a playroom.

Then we went outside for the live experience and to be a part of the dolphin show.

I was trying to take a load off Storm and Trouble so they could handle Cupcake, who had become cranky.

When the speaker crackled with the food call, our entire party went to the courtyard.

“Are you okay?” I asked Taj. He had been so lax during this whole process, and I don’t know if it’s because he was just unfazed or if he realized he didn’t have a snowball’s chance in hell of going against the Mafia.

“Yeah, I’m good.”

“I apologize for all the negative energy.”

“No, no, it’s cool. You warned me, and I still chose to come. Nothing I can’t handle.” He said as he reached for my hand again. I groaned when he did it, but I let him hold it anyway. He was nice, but he was laying it on thick.

We walked outside to join the crowd of people waiting to celebrate BJ.

The outside area looked like a toy store, and they would need a moving truck to get all this stuff home.

Cars, trucks, and figurines were stacked as tall as they could go without falling over.

BJ ran off to the side to play with some of the loose gifts despite Storm’s gentle parenting efforts to get him to stay still.

I was thankful that Ms. Meena and Amar had been running late from the landing strip. I thought that Trouble, Jax, and Judah were crazy until I realized that it was hereditary. The apple definitely didn’t fall far from the tree.

Jaxon and his girlfriend sat on the bench.

He sat with his legs thrown on both sides of the seat, and so were hers.

She was between his legs with her back turned to his front.

They were pretty cozy; he had his head on her shoulder and was whispering something in her ear that had her attention.

I bit the inside of my jaw. When I looked away from them, Judah was already watching me.

His expression said everything I wouldn’t.

He smirked at me before he turned his head.

Sitting on the bench across from them, I did everything in my power to ignore their little PDA.

But after we sang happy birthday, it would be time for me to go.

I had seen all that I was meant to see. He was done chasing me, and I was done waiting for him.

I may have been single for the last month, but now I am officially a free agent.

It was time for me to start acting like it.

Mind Over Matter, Inc., had been closed for two hours, and I was still typing case notes.

My day started off well, and it went straight to hell from there.

I asked one of my teenage clients how he coped with stress.

He told me, “I keep everything bottled up and then I throw a microwave.” The very next session, during an evaluation, I asked my seven-year-old client if she could have one wish, what would it be?

She told me, “Three more wishes, candy, and no more therapy.” The last client, a twenty-six-year-old woman, came in experiencing hallucinations.

She told me if I found anything that would get her committed before her birthday party, she was going to “light this bitch up like Times Square on New Year's Eve.”

Needless to say, I had a ton of observations to record.

The office doorbell rang, and I pulled up the security cameras, thinking it might have been a late delivery. It was Taj, standing at the door with a bouquet of flowers. I smiled, then I got up from my desk and went to the door, unlocking it. Once he was in, I locked it behind him.

He extended his arm to me, and I took the flowers before we hugged. The arrangement was beautiful, dahlias, peonies, and another kind I didn’t recognize.

“These are beautiful, thank you,” I said as I walked in the direction of my office with him on my heels.

“Not like you,” he said, causing me to chuckle at how corny but cute that comeback was. I set the vase on the desk on the far side of my office.

“To what do I owe the pleasure?” I questioned. Earlier, I mentioned to him that I was working late, but I didn’t think that he would pop up on me. I would have rather had a heads up, but since he was trying to be romantic, I decided not to check him about it.

“Isn’t that what a man does when he’s interested in someone?” He shot back as he raised his eyebrow and leaned against my desk. I didn’t respond.

He had a point, I suppose. Reclaiming my position at the desk, I sat down.

“I want to make it clear that I want to pursue you, Kennedy. I know that you just got out of a situation, and I understand you want to move slowly. But it’s not my intent to be your little friend.” He chuckled and made me smile.

He was saying the right things, but as soon as he mentioned me just getting out of a relationship, my mind drifted to Jaxon.

I hate how much I think about him. How the smallest thing triggered memories, even when he just seemed not to care at all.

He didn’t even have to be in the room to ruin all my moments, and here it was happening again.

“I receive that, Taj, I do. I think we can keep going in the direction we are and see where it goes.” I tried to let him down easily. The truth is, I really wasn’t in a rush to get to know anybody, but if it happened, it happened.

Silence stretched between us, thick and full of things I didn’t want to unpack. He let me sit in silence as I completed the note on my screen. Just trying to do something, anything to occupy myself.

“I’m not rushing you. I like you, Kennedy. You make me want to slow down. That’s new for me. I’m trying to be patient, but if I’m being honest, you got me checking my damn phone like a high schooler.” I laughed before I meant to.

He smiled. “That’s the prettiest part about you.”

I shook my head, blushing. “Look at you, being smooth.”

“I’m honest,” he said.

Then he reached out and touched a strand of my hair. I didn’t move away from him, but didn’t lean into his touch either. His eyes dropped to my mouth. Then back up to mine.

“Can I kiss you?” I should’ve said no. I wanted to say no. But instead, I gave the smallest nod.

His hand brushed my jaw first. Then his lips touched mine. We kissed for a while. The kiss was soft, careful, and almost like he was scared I’d disappear. And I almost did.

Because the second our lips touched, my mind did what it always does—think of him . How Jax used to kiss me, as if my mouth held the oxygen he needed to breathe.

But Taj didn’t kiss like that at all. He didn’t devour me, didn’t take control of the moment.

He asked me, and he waited for a response.

Don’t get me wrong, I appreciated his chivalry.

But it wasn’t raw, it wasn’t passionate.

He didn’t slightly apply pressure to my neck.

The kiss didn’t cause my thighs to clench, or me to pull him into me, or moan into his mouth.

It was transactional. And when our lips parted, I knew in my soul, he’d never be the man to tell me “Stop fucking whining, KD and take this dick.” Maybe that was the problem.

When he pulled back, his thumb lingered at the corner of my mouth. “You okay?”

Was my internal battle really written all over my face?

I nodded again, lying. “Yeah.”

“You’re not ready,” he said softly. “And that’s okay.”

I looked up at him. “I’m trying.”

He smiled. Not cocky, not frustrated. Just soft and understanding. “Try with me.”

In that moment, I wanted to. But I wasn’t sure if I’d be saying yes to trying or saying no to feeling empty. So I chose not to say anything. Instead, I walked around my desk to lead him out of the office. When we made it back into the waiting room, I unlocked the front door and walked him outside.

“Thank you, Taj, for always being a gentleman,” I said as I pulled his tie and brought his lips to mine.

I placed a soft peck on his lips. Partly because I felt bad, and partly because I wanted to test the waters again to see if I would feel something for anyone other than Jaxon.

He smiled and turned to go back to his car before pulling out of the empty lot.

Just as I turned to walk back in, I saw headlights turn on and a black car zoom out of the parking lot behind him.

My heart fluttered for a minute, then I pushed the thought out of my head.

For a second, I thought it might be Jaxon. Then I decided to stop flattering myself. Jaxon was probably somewhere with his girlfriend, and I needed to let him go before I became a client at my own clinic.