Page 11 of Still Forever

“Well, obviously you do. You think your degree makes you the smartest woman in the world, but apparently not smart enough to avoid the men you chase. One of us was married at twenty-seven, and one of us was in drive-bys and drug deals with our man-”

“Hi, just checking back in on you guys to see if you needed any refills, drinks, or any of your food to go.” The waitress offered and interrupted the new asshole I was about to tear my mother.

“A moment, please,” I snapped as I kept my eyes trained on her across the table. The waitress must have sensed the tension because she hurried away.

“One of us cares what people think about them, and the other one of us doesn’t.”

“Well, that’s for certain. At least Storm’s hooligan made an honest woman out of her. She can cry into blood diamonds, but what did you get aside from a broken heart?”

“A man who loved me, A man and his family who cared. A man who, till this very day, would come in this restaurant and clear it out if I dropped a single tear at this table. A man who-”

“Loved you so deeply, but let you walk away and didn’t stop you?

That’s what you got. Listen, honey, I don’t mean to upset you.

All I ask of you is to be open to moving on and putting that heartbreak behind you.

I apologize if I didn’t word it better.” She grabbed my hand to stop me from leaving as I collected my things.

“Yeah, you’re right,” I said lowly. As much as I didn’t want to admit it, she was right. It was a harsh reminder of what had transpired between us, but I couldn’t ignore that what she said was a fact. I grabbed my purse and stormed out the door.

I stomped toward my car so angry that I didn’t even realize I had brushed past Taj. He was standing outside the restaurant having a conversation with someone, but he gently grabbed my arm to stop me.

“Hey, you okay?” He questioned before he dismissed himself from the other conversation.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” I shifted, taking my arm away from him.

“You don’t look like it. I was going to send you a message to apologize to you later.

I wanted to tell you that I could see my presence caught you off guard.

I hope I’m not the one who upset you. I want to be clear that I didn’t know I was surprising you.

Your mother gave me the impression that you knew I’d be coming. ”

I cleared my throat and finally looked up from the pavement that had been holding my attention.

“I’m sure you didn’t, with my mother, anything is possible.

Thank you for recognizing it, though. I enjoyed your company, take care.

” I said before turning and not giving him the opportunity to continue the conversation.

I was already fighting back tears, and the last thing I wanted to do was cry on the shoulder of a strange man in a parking lot about another man.

I got into the car and pulled off like a bat out of hell. Hot tears rolled down my face as I made it to the stop sign. I texted the only person who could always make me feel better, Storm.

Me: Please tell me that you can get away for a Spa Day tomorrow. My treat. I’m having a rough week, and I need some girl time with my best friend.

As soon as I sent the message, I saw her read it, and her bubbles popped up.

My Main One: Hey, beautiful, I need this tonight. LOL, I’m down, though. Just let me know the time. Call me whenever if you want to talk about it now. Love you.

Her message made me cry harder. I put a pause on responding until I could find an appointment and send her a booking confirmation. I had never felt so seen and understood as a person as when I was with my friend. She was one of the only two people who could make me feel whole again.

“I’m so sorry I’m late. Ma was late picking up Phoenix,” the voice whispered harshly. I took the cucumbers off my eyes and smiled at my best friend. She leaned into me and air kissed me before she scurried in the back to go get undressed and join me for our spa session.

Placing the cucumbers back over my eyes, I relaxed as the steam blew into my face and the masseuse continued kneading my arms and hands.

This massage couldn’t have come at a better time.

Dealing with the mental health issues of children was one thing.

Sometimes the stories and things I am trusted with stay with me longer than they should.

But dealing with my own unresolved trauma and emotions is another thing. This week tore me the hell up.

Hearing light snoring, I removed my cucumber again and looked over at Storm.

No sooner than she got on the table and onto her stomach, she was asleep.

I chuckled. I know that being a mother, especially to an infant and a child as active as Blade, must have been tiring.

I smiled as I took her in. Her face held no trace of her weariness; her energy was always so pleasant.

Anytime I saw her, I knew that I was in for a good, wholesome time.

Storm and I had the best relationship, and she was one of the most genuine people I had ever met.

Over the last few months, I’ve been waiting for the moment when my current circumstances test our bond.

She gave me her word that nothing would ever come between us, and so far, she’s stayed true to that.

The massage portion ended, and it was time for us to go to the Aromatherapy room.

I sat at the edge of the table and tapped her lightly.

She instantly woke up with a smile on her face when she realized that she had fallen asleep.

Pulling the strings of my robe tighter, I hopped off the table and waited for her to follow me and the masseuse to the next room.

“How have you been, Kenn? I know you said you had a rough week. But we haven’t spent a lot of time together the last two months, and I don’t like that.

I know you need time to process it, but don’t shut me out.

I can come over and just lie on your couch.

We don’t have to talk, just as long as I’m there,” she sighed as she turned to me once we were sitting.

“I don’t want to weigh you down with my problems. As bad as Blade is, I know you have your hands full,” I chuckled.

“My baby is not bad. He is-”

“Exploring,” I said, just as she was about to. Silence lingered before we fell out in laughter. His ass was bad, and there was no sugar coating that. After we cackled, the silence returned. She looked at me with sympathy, still waiting for me to tell her how I had been.

“I miss him so much,” I broke as she pouted, and I did the same. Life was so much simpler before things got complicated between Jax and me.

“I haven’t talked to Jaxon in months. I want to mace him Kenn. Then I asked Jrue what would possess him to just go missing, and he’s acting clueless like he doesn’t know what’s going on either.” She reached out and touched my hand.

“I know I’m going to have to heal from that relationship, but it’s hard.

I’ll be okay, though. My week was hell. Aside from work, I met with the Karen of all Karens yesterday, and you know how that goes.

” I shifted on the bench just thinking about it.

My mother was definitely the one they had in mind for the Karen stereotype.

Her eyes widened. “I thought you took a step back from that relationship after what she said when she found out about Jax.”

We sat under the steam in the room while I poured my heart out. She listened; she wiped my tears and even dropped a couple with me. I felt bad for ruining the relaxation day with my drama, but Storm was the only person that I trusted with my thoughts and feelings.

After our session, my tears of sadness became tears of joy. We went from crying about my current circumstances to laughing about the past and reminiscing about old times. This is what I needed. Our Spa day came to an end, and even with my little breakdown, I felt more relaxed than ever.

“Are you coming to your godson’s birthday party next weekend?

” Storm questioned. I received the invitation two weeks ago, and I had spoken to her almost every other day since, but I hadn’t mentioned it.

I knew that Jaxon would be there. And I don’t know if I was ready to face him just yet.

It was too soon, and the wound was still raw.

But Storm had never not been by my side, so I wasn’t going to miss her moments by feeling sorry for myself.

“I’ll be there,” I assured her as I took a deep breath. If I was going to fully heal, I had to do the work necessary to get over him. That included being okay with seeing him.

“In all fairness, just so you know, Jaxon will be there too. But I still would like you to come. You’re there for me and BJ, not him.” She laughed and nudged me.

After convincing her that I would show up, we hugged, got dressed, and went our separate ways.

I felt so much lighter until I heard that man’s name and images of him flashed through my brain as I drove down the road.

I missed everything about him. The way he walked, the way he called me KD instead of Kennedy, and the way he could only sleep if I was lying on top of him.

Then my mind raced to the dirtier thoughts.

To the way he dominated my entire body and slutted me out in a way that no man before or after him could ever do.

How he pulled my hair and said the nastiest shit to me.

That his favorite position was me straddling his beard.

The times that he spat in my mouth or the phrase he always said as I reached my peak that drove me crazy, “be a good girl and finish for me.”

I wanted to scream as the thought of this man fucking me in every hole on my body started to literally cause throbbing between my legs.

I gripped the steering wheel of my car and pushed the thoughts out of my mind with a deep sigh.

I had to get over Jaxon soon, and if I couldn’t, I would probably have to rain check that birthday party.