Page 11 of Stilettos & Whiskey (Deputy Gemma Stone)

I grabbed my purse and headed for the front door.

“Where the hell do you think you’re going?” Lucas growled.

I gave him the stink eye. Like it was any of his business. “I’m going to my apartment to see what kind of damage was done.”

“Dressed like that?”

Color me confused. I was wearing an Alpha Dog T-shirt, jeans and sneakers. “There’s nothing wrong with what I’m wearing.”

Lucas scowled. “Where is your vest?”

“I have one in my car. Happy now?”

“No, you’re confined to the ranch until Roger Evans is captured,” Lucas announced.

“Oh, hell no. You can’t stop me from leaving,” I shot back.

Lucas stepped in front of the door and folded his arms. “The hell I can’t.”

Okay, he was three times my size, and an expert in hand-to-hand combat, but I could take him down. Maybe, if I cheated. A lot. I put my purse on the coffee table and dropped into a combat stance. “Bring it.”

“Knock it off you two. You break any more furniture and you’ll be sleeping in the barn again,” Nate yelled, grabbing me around the waist. “You’re not going anywhere alone, Julie.”

I pried at Nate’s fingers. “Let go of me or I will hurt you.”

“When Gemma was taken Mom lost it. Do you want to put her through that kind of pain again?” Nate demanded.

God, I remembered the fear in Mom’s eyes. I stopped struggling. “No.”

“And you’re still not in fighting shape, squirt. It would take me less than sixty seconds to take you down.” Lucas took the car keys out of my purse and stuffed them in his pocket.

A growl escaped me. I was so going to kick his ass.

Grandpa Reynolds walked into the room and dropped Lucas with a single blow. “No one picks on my granddaughters.”

Lucas groaned.

“You want to see your apartment?”

I nodded. “I really do, Grandpa.”

“Let’s go.”

Nate released me. “I’m coming too.”

Grandpa eyed him for a long moment, then nodded.

We stepped over Lucas and walked to Grandpa’s white cargo van with the Reynolds’ Egg Ranch logo on the sides. It was armored and had bulletproof glass. The interior held weapons of every kind and sacks of chicken feed.

Grandpa opened the front passenger door and helped me inside. “You armed?”

“Yes, Grandpa.”

He smiled. “Good girl.”

“Wait,” Lucas called and staggered over to the van. “I’m coming too.”

Scowling, Grandpa asked, “Are you going to behave?”

“Yes, sir.”

Nate snorted and shoved Lucas inside the van.

Edgar jumped into the cargo van too.

“Out, you mangy mutt. You’re slobbering all over me,” Lucas snapped.

“The dog stays. You don’t. Get out,” Grandpa said as he started the engine.

Lucas glowered at Grandpa. “Roger Evans and twelve of his cousins are still on the loose. Where Julie goes, I go.”

“When is your date with Samuel?” Grandpa asked out of the blue.

“Date? That paramedic asked you out?”

Trying not to laugh at the outrage in Lucas’s voice, I shrugged. “Dunno. I decided to wait until I can go out in public without scaring children.”

“He didn’t seem to mind your cuts and bruises when he asked you out,” Grandpa replied.

“That’s true. I’ll ask Mom if I can invite him for dinner Friday. Dad’s grilling steaks.”

Lucas let out an indignant huff, “Does he even know how to use a gun?”

“Inviting him to dinner is a good idea,” Nate interjected. “That way we can vet him.”

I smothered a groan. They would have Samuel running for his life in a very short time.

Grandpa pulled into my apartment’s parking lot. I scanned the area. Bertha and her male friends were doing it in the pool. Yep, everything seemed normal.

“That skinny old lady with the humongous boobs has got to be Bertha,” Nate said.

Lucas frowned. “I thought those were floaties.”

“Bertha is very proud of her new breasts, and she’ll happily show them to you,” I warned and opened the car door.

“Julie!”

I turned and watched Bertha run toward us naked as the day she was born. Her perky breasts protruded from her chest like bizarre melons.

Edgar barked.

“Holy hell! I’m surprised they don’t smother her in her sleep,” Nate declared.

Grandpa stared at Bertha for a long moment. “Dunno, but I gotta say, those tits would be a mouthful.”

“Grandpa,” I scolded.

He grinned at me. “Hey, all my parts still work.”

Bertha skidded to a stop and deliberately fell on Lucas with her hands clamping down on his butt, “My, aren’t you pretty, and firm. So very firm.”

“Hey!” Lucas didn’t know where to put his hands to get her off him. “Let go of my ass.”

I pried Bertha loose. “All of them belong to me. No touching.”

Barking loudly, Edgar danced around us.

“But they’re so pretty,” Bertha protested.

Fighting back a grin, I nodded. “Very pretty. Sit, Edgar.”

The coyote sat.

Bertha’s smile faded. “I’m really sorry about your apartment. We chased the assholes off, but not before they did a lot of damage. The cleaners haven’t been able to get rid of the smell yet.”

“I appreciate everything you and your friends did.”

An evil smile curved Bertha’s mouth. “After the ruckus, I went out and bought myself some protection.”

Oh, crap. The last time she came home with protection, it was a stun gun, and she used it on the mailman. He still refuses to deliver mail to the complex. “What did you buy?”

“Sam! Bring me my walker,” Bertha shouted.

A hairy, old geezer whose toupee resembled a dead critter perched sideways on his head climbed out of the pool. “Yes, my love.” His itty-bitty Speedo left nothing to the imagination and exposed his shortcomings to the entire world.

“Isn’t that Sam Foster, the Sun City playboy?” Nate asked.

A giggle escaped Bertha. “It is. He’s got the moves, if you know what I mean.”

“Yep, those Sun City folks know how to party,” Grandpa commented.

We all stared at him.

“I need to let loose ever once in a while.”

I grimaced. “TMI Grandpa. TMI.”

“Holy hell!” Lucas growled as Sam pushed a walker over with an AK-47 jury-rigged to the handle. “Do you have any training on the proper use of an automatic weapon?”

Sam shrugged. “You just pull the trigger.” Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!

We all hit the ground, except Sam who stood there frozen in horror and still gripping the trigger.

I flinched as bullets peppered the door and windows in my apartment. “Let go of the damn trigger!”

Sam turned and looked at me. “What?”

“You’re fucking crazy,” Grandpa bellowed as slugs pinged against his van. He kicked Sam off his feet.

Kaboom! The door to my apartment blew out.

Lucas jumped on top of me as flaming debris rained down on us.

“Can’t breathe,” I squeaked.

Lucas rolled off me. “Are you hurt?”

“Just a few new bruises. Dammit! They booby-trapped my apartment.”

Nate got to his feet. “Yep.” He pulled out his cellphone and walked a short distance away.

“We got damn lucky,” Lucas said, helping me up. “Dad’s gonna be pissed. I’ll call 9-1-1. You call Mom.”

“Me?” I squawked in horror.

The fury on Grandpa’s face was terrifying. “I’ll call her. Those bastards are going down.”

“Yes, they are.” I stared at the smoke and flames pouring out of my apartment. The way things were going, I was going to be living with my parents until I was sixty.

Edgar peeked out from under the van.

“You okay, boy?”

He woofed.

“In the van.” Edgar jumped in and I patted his head. “Good boy. Stay.”

“I think we need the fire department, but I don’t have my phone,” Bertha said, her voice shaking badly.

“It’s okay,” I assured her. “Lucas called them.”

Bertha shivered. “I hope you have renters’ insurance.”

“I do. I’m really sorry about all of this.”

She patted my arm. “It’s not your fault.”

“The hell it isn’t. You and Gemma are shit magnets,” Sam groused.

I winced. He was right. “Anyone need the paramedics?”

“No, your grandfather shielded me with his body,” Bertha answered. “He’s nice and firm too.”

Sam scowled at Grandpa. “Hands off. She’s my girl.”

“Is she?” Grandpa asked.

I really didn’t like the look in Grandpa’s eyes. The last thing we needed was Bertha and her menfolk hanging around the ranch.

In the distance sirens sounded.

“Everyone move to the pool area,” Lucas commanded. “The fire department needs room to work.”

I ushered Bertha and Sam over to the now empty pool. “Do you have a robe, Bertha?”

“Why?”

“The firemen need to focus on putting out the fire, not your girls,” I replied.

She nodded and pulled on a sheer robe that hid nothing.

“I ain’t covering up,” Sam announced, scratching at his arm.

Fighting back the urge to toss him in the pool, I gave him my Debbie Sunshine smile. “That’s your choice, but I think you have hell’s itch.”

“Hell’s itch?”

“Have you ever gotten into poison ivy?”

Sam nodded.

“It’s like that and it’s caused by too much sun.”

Bertha eyed him. “You do have a rather bad sunburn. Let’s go back to the clubhouse and I’ll put some lotion on you.”

“Good idea.” Sam wrapped an arm around Bertha’s waist and off they went.

I let out a breath of relief. Managing old folks was like herding cats. They never did what you wanted them to do.

Nate and Lucas were banging on doors and warning the tenants about the fire.

I started for them.

“Stay put,” Lucas yelled. “We’ve got this.”

Lucas was taking this protective shit a little too far.

As Grandpa moved his slightly damaged van away from the blaze, a fire truck pulled into the parking lot with sirens blaring. A patrol car and a Peoria Police Department bomb truck followed closely behind it.

Frank bailed out of his patrol car and rushed over to me. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, but my apartment is gonna be a total loss.”

He grimaced. “You wouldn’t have been able to move back in anyway. The place reeked of urine.”

“That’s what everyone keeps saying.”

We watched the firefighters douse the flames.

“Good thing your dad had already salvaged what he could. Roger did a number on your stuff.”

My cellphone rang. God, I hoped it wasn’t Mom. I reluctantly answered it, “Hello?”

“Julie, I’m calling you like I promised. We’re having a wonderful time,” Gemma said happily.

“You didn’t do something stupid like getting married, did you?”

“No, but we are tempted,” Gemma laughed.

The joy in Gemma’s voice made me smile. “I’m so jealous. You’re getting romantic sunset cruises and I’m getting…”

Frank’s eyes widened in alarm, and he made a slashing movement across his throat.

Like I would ruin her vacation? “I’m getting to pick up dead critters.”

“Oh, no. What did you do to piss off Sergeant Bergman?” Gemma’s carefree laughter eased the pit in my stomach.

“I might have said something about him putting Roger Evans in your beat.”

“What?” Gemma gasped. “Are you kidding me? He’d be lost within an hour.”

More like forty-five minutes. “It’s not one of the sarge’s better decisions.”

Another fire truck zoomed into the parking lot with its sirens blaring.

“What’s going on?”

“I’m at an apartment fire.”

A note of alarm in her voice, Gemma said, “But this is your day off.”

“Yep. Roger Evans was a no show and Sergeant Bergman needed me to fill in for him,” I lied.

“Sergeant Bergman needs to fire his ass.”

Frank muttered, “It’s in the works.”

“Is that Frank?”

He winced.

I hit the speaker button on my phone. “It is. He’s helping me. We have a bunch of lookie-loos.”

“Hi, Frank.”

“Hey, Gemma. Have you tried parasailing yet?”

“We did and it was a blast.”

“Good. Good.” Frank pointed at the sky.

Damn. A DPS chopper was heading our way. “Ah, gotta go Gemma. I’ll call you later, okay?”

“Is that Mom’s Huey?”

Frank quickly inserted, “No. It’s Channel Three’s helicopter. The fire is breaking news.”

“Is something going on?” Gemma demanded. “You both sound funny.”

“Everything is fine. I really gotta go.” I disconnected. My cellphone immediately rang again. If Gemma found out what Roger Evans had done, she’d be on the first plane home, and I couldn’t let that happen. She needed time to decompress from her ordeal.

“Your assault didn’t make the local news, so Gemma shouldn’t be able to google it,” Frank said.

“Let’s hope so.” I frowned when the helicopter’s door slid open.

Frank squinted. “Isn’t that your dad and Logan?”

“Yep.” I watched them rappel down from the chopper. Something was up.

Dad released the rappel line and walked over to me with a harness in his left hand. He hugged me tightly. “You okay, peanut?”

“Yeah, I’m still breathing.” I gestured at the modified walker. “Thanks to Sam Foster emptying a clip into my apartment.”

Dad nodded. “Nate filled us in.” He gave me the harness. “Put it on. Your mother needs another pair of eyes to find a missing hiker in the Superstition Mountains.”

“Oh, but my apartment just got blown up and I want to help with the investigation.”

Dad used his command voice. “No.”

“Okey-dokey.” When Dad got that look on his face, arguing was useless. I pulled the harness on. “The Superstitions are lovely this time of year.”

“Don’t be a smart ass,” Dad growled.

“Yes, sir.”

Logan plucked a piece of wood out of my hair. “You want to keep Mom happy, don’t you?”

“I do.” I attached the belay line to my harness. “I also want to kick Roger’s ass.”

A wolfish smile formed on Logan’s mouth. “Don’t worry. You’ll get the chance.” He motioned to the helicopter and up I went.