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TOBY

“Hey,”Zuni says as he falls next to me on the couch. “What’re you doing? More hockey things?”

I grin. “No. I’m messing with the stocks.”

Years ago, I built a program that runs stats and odds and predicts patterns in the stock market. It also feeds from specific news channels, and I’ve recently begun having it scan the internet for pertinent information which may lead to a positive or negative change in stock holdings.

From there, it takes a look at my portfolio and makes suggestions. I’m constantly tweaking it and adding new parameters based on how it’s performing, but so far, it’s made me quite a bit of money this last quarter.

“You play with money as if it’s from Monopoly,” Zuni muses, shaking his head.

“You say that, but you’ve also seen my portfolio. There’s risk involved, sure, but without risk, you don’t get the reward.”

“Risk would give me a heart attack,” he says.

I chuckle. “I’m not going to pretend it’s not nerve-wracking sometimes. Especially when the market moves in a way you’re not prepared for. But my ‘Monopoly money’ is the reason I can work at Medieval Company two days a week and not worry about my bills.”

“Two days? Weren’t you doing four?”

I nod. “Yep, but I cut down when they started talking about selling Darwin. I get it; don’t get me wrong. Keeping a horse around that only behaves for one person who isn’t there full time is a little irresponsible. But as much as I like trying to cause damage with a mace to someone’s skull, it would just be weird and sad without Darwin.”

“You could buy the horse,” Zuni suggests.

“What would I do with a horse? We have a decent backyard, but it’s not that big.”

He rolls his eyes. “You rent a paddock or whatever. Pay a horse farm to keep him for you.”

I nod absently. “I imagine I wouldn’t make it over there much. So I’d be a shit horse owner, Zuni. Even if I adore my sweet hellcat.”

Zuni snorts.

A notification pops up in the middle of my screen that I have a new text from Atty. Since there’s no text preview, I know it’s a picture. It’s always annoyed me that notifications get in the way of whatever I’m doing on my phone. The irrational anger that usually flares through me is truly juvenile.

However, I find them less frustrating when it’s Atty. I tap the box and our conversation opens. It’s not a dirty pic, but one that makes me smile like a lunatic. The image is of his shoulder where I’d bitten him a few days ago. The mark is barely there.

[Atty] It’s fading. I need another.

The sick pleasure from marking this man as mine burns hotly inside me. As petty as it sounds, I really want to get one on his neck. Bright and bruised with my obvious teeth marks for the world to see. More specifically, I want to time it right so that he’s wearing it to his cousin’s wedding.

I think everyone is part caveman in a rather possessive way. It’s in that feeling you get when you want to make it absolutely clear this person belongs to you. Without a doubt. No question. He’s displaying it for the world to see.

“What has you grinning like that?” Zuni asks.

Despite knowing I probably look like I’ve lost my mind, I can’t convince the smile to fall away. Even when I raise my eyes to meet Zuni’s, I’m still grinning like a loon.

“Nothing. Just channeling my ancestors.”

He raises a brow, having no idea what I mean. Which is fine. But a smile starts to spread across his face. Not as maniacal to match mine, but it’s big all the same.

“It’s so cute seeing you like this,” he tells me.

I sigh. “Like what?”

“Oh, come on. I know we’ve only known each other for, like, a year, but you’ve literally never spent so much time with a single man. Ever. I think the longest you’ve seen the same person is, like… six days.”

My eyes narrow. “How do you know that?”

He laughs, twisting on his cushion so he’s facing me and curls his legs under him. He’s now invested in this conversation. “My bedroom window is at the front of the house. I see everything.”

“That’s not creepy at all.”

Zuni continues to grin. “It’s not like we’ve worked hard to keep secrets around here. I think we know everyone’s preferences, no?”

“The bigger, the hairier, the better,” I say, looking at him slyly.

His cheeks flush, but he nods. “Yep. I like bears.” Zuni shrugs. “You like hookups. Ramah is always looking for something traditional, but in the male gender. Miller is a bit of a wild card—he brings home the randoms.”

“And Kelsey?”

“She likes the softer boys. Nerds. Those who might be more gender neutral than anything. She’s not particularly keen on masculinity or too feminine—she needs to be the clear feminine in the relationship.”

“Huh,” I say as I mentally scroll through the men I’ve seen her with. “I guess I’d never noticed that pattern, but yeah, that’s spot on.”

Zuni nods. “So back to you… how’s fucking a single guy going for you?”

I roll my eyes, turning my attention back to my phone. Staring at the image of my teeth on his shoulder, it’s really difficult not to grin. After typing back a quick response telling Atty that I’m going to bite him everywhere, I close out of the chat and try to focus on my stock portfolio.

Zuni’s watching me expectantly. With a smug smirk. Fucker knows he’s got me in a corner.

Sighing, I let my head fall back, turning off my screen as I do so I don’t accidentally sell everything. “I love it,” I say quietly. “But I really have no idea what I’m doing.”

“Whaddya mean?”

“I don’t know how to date,” I admit, feeling slightly foolish doing so.

“You’ve always said that someday you’d like a husband. How did you think that was going to happen?”

“We’d fall into bed and wake up in six years already established—married, house, whatever.”

Zuni’s silent for long enough that I turn my head to look at him. He gives me a rather deadpan look. Completely unimpressed. I laugh.

“I honestly don’t know. I guess I kind of thought it would just happen naturally.”

“But it is, no? You haven’t gone on dates. You’ve just been here fucking. And yet, you’re very clearly together now. Right? He’s your boyfriend?” Zuni asks.

I smile, nodding. “Yeah. Exactly. But… shouldn’t we be doing more? Shouldn’t I take him on dates and spoil him and stuff?”

“Do you want to do that?”

There are a lot of things I love doing with Atty. Once, I’d have said they all revolve around sex, but… I love when he smiles at me because I’ve said or done something that makes him feel good. I love how he’s happy and knowing I have a part in that. I love that he wants to spend time with me and never seems to get enough of it, just like I do.

“Yes. What do I do for a date?”

“You’re asking me?” he says, eyes wide. Before I can answer, he exclaims, “OH! I have something,” and jumps up, practically running out of the room.

I watch, slightly befuddled but amused all the same. He returns a minute later with a black canvas case and falls back onto the couch. I watch as he pulls out a white ball with a lens on it. Setting it on the table, he leans over the couch to plug it in. Then there’s a set of little cases—about twice the size of SD cards both in shape and depth. Choosing one, he pops a panel out of the side of the white ball and puts a little disc, which looks remarkably like a CD, but much smaller—and then pushes it back in.

“Ready?” Zuni asks with a grin.

I have no idea what I’m agreeing to, but I nod, anyway.

“This is better in the dark,” he preempts before he flips a switch.

The entire galaxy spreads out before us on the ceiling, stretching wall to wall. It moves slowly, expanding and turning.

“This is really cool,” I tell him.

Zuni nods. “I use it at night sometimes when I can’t sleep. If you turn the volume up, there’s a guy with a very soothing voice that takes you on a journey through space.”

“Nice.”

“Yeah. I have eight different shows. This is one of my favorites. I’m pretty sure he says new things every time I play it too. But anyway, you could have an indoor picnic and watch the stars without, you know, bugs and stuff.”

I laugh but… yeah. “Can I borrow this?”

Zuni grins. “Yes. But don’t get it messy.”

“What do you think I’m going to do with it?”

He levels me with a look. “We all hear your shenanigans, Toby. Just don’t get it dirty.”

* * *

When I textedAtty to come over when he was done with whatever he was doing, he said it’d be late. I asked him to come over anyway, but didn’t tell him what I had planned.

We’ve been spending more time together, but usually, it begins with sex. I can’t help it. Neither of us seems to be able to. The first thing that we want to do when we see each other is devour.

The fact his appetite for me is just as ravenous as mine is for him makes me feel like at least we’re on the same page. We’re not all about sex anymore, but even if we were, that’s okay. There’s nothing wrong with a healthy sex life and indulging with a willing partner.

What I truly find remarkable is that, even though we had been so thoroughly wrapped up in sex alone, it seems we both felt something deeper all along. In a lot of ways, sex is the easy part. There’s a hole and you do what feels good.

Everything outside of that takes a lot of time, communication, compromise… The list just goes on. Most of the time, that’s always felt like far too much effort for the payout and there’s no guarantee. At least in sex, there’s a guarantee of an orgasm.

Well, good sex, anyway.

With Atty, it doesn’t feel like such an effort though. I enjoy talking to him. His smile is all the encouragement I need to keep going. To strive to make him smile again. Maybe there’s still no guarantee, but it feels like my life ahead is all lit up and he’s right there with me. I’m sure of this.

Are all relationships like this?

Even the things I’m unsure about—like actually dating and stuff—I want to figure out. For Atty. Because I want to spoil the fuck out of him, so he’s always smiling at me like I hang the stars. Or offered him the Stanley Cup.

It’s almost eleven when I get his text that he’s here. I race through the house quietly, though I’m pretty sure everyone but Miller is awake. That man is a cat—he’d likely sleep all day if we let him.

I throw open the side door and Atty’s there; the moon is behind him just right, giving him an ethereal glow. He’s magnificent. I pull him to me and Atty immediately wraps himself around me, his mouth landing on mine right away.

The need beneath the surface to fuck this man so he knows he’s mine boils. An intense drive to own him is consuming. Somehow, I manage to pull my mouth from his.

“Let’s go upstairs,” I murmur.

Atty nods. As he slips out of his shoes, I shut the door and throw the lock. With his hand in mine, I pull him up the stairs and shove him into my room. As soon as the door’s closed, I have him against me again, kissing him like it’s been a month, a year.

Again, I pull my mouth from his. “Clothes off,” I instruct, pulling at his shirt.

Atty nods. He steps away and starts chucking off his clothing. I do the same. Our eyes never leave each other.

“Bed,” I tell him when he’s naked.

He goes and I flick off the light. I have Zuni’s little magic ball next to the bed. When the light goes out, I remain where I am for a minute to let my eyes adjust so I don’t fall on my face. Then I join Atty but before he can bring me to him, I twist to hit the button on the ball.

The Milky Way comes to live over our heads and Atty pauses. I’ve already messed with the volume on the thing, so I hit play and the man’s voice, calm, quiet, and soothing, is a quiet murmur. Loud enough for us to understand, but not so loud that we can’t talk quietly over him.

Rolling back, I slide Atty down the bed a bit before bringing him to my chest. His dark eyes, made darker by the dim light, shine as he stares at the ceiling. I brush his hair from his forehead, a smile light on my lips as I watch him.

“This is awesome,” Atty says, laying his head down on me. He shifts so he can press against me, but still watch as the galaxy moves across the ceiling.

I pull a blanket from behind him and drape it over us. While I meant to watch the sky too, most of my attention is on Atty as he follows the progress of the stars and planets. He grins when a comet moves through the night sky.

A quiet sigh meets my ears and I fucking love this. I kiss the top of his head, which makes him look at me.

“Needed a sex break?” he asks.

“No,” I say, huffing near silent laughter. “Not at all. I just thought… we’d have a date night.”

Atty’s eyes sparkle. He’s staring into my eyes and for a long time says nothing. “I like that,” he says at last. “This is perfect. Thank you.”

Bending forward, I press my lips to his forehead. He smiles and lays his head down.

Sometimes we talk—about the stars, about what the guy on the disc said, about life, about anything at all—but most of the time, we remain quiet. Enjoying the night sky and being close.

I’m not entirely sure this is what’s supposed to happen on a date, but I would do this again in a heartbeat. Laying with Atty like this… I could spend every night doing nothing but hold him. He just feels that good in my arms. His heart against my chest. His breaths gently puffing on my skin.

I can feel him smile and his happy sigh of contentment. There’s simply nothing better than this moment right here.