Page 19

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ATTY

What startedout as hooking up occasionally has now turned into almost daily. Even if it’s just a quick orgasm. Even those quickies feel nearly life-altering.

Which brings me to the fact that my thoughts have almost entirely circled around to just how life altering this entire thing truly is. Not that it should be and yet, there’s no denying that when you learn something huge about yourself, you can’t stop from reexamining everything you thought you knew about your whole life.

For example, that one serendipitous moment at a dinner show has led to finding myself on my knees with my hands tied behind my back, wearing a thong that’s oddly rubbing me all the right ways, as Toby fucks his fat cock down my throat.

I’m a fucking mess right now as I gag and reflexively try to get my hands loose, as if they’ll help me catch my breath. Toby is both forceful and careful not to let me pass out. He knows just how far to push me before allowing me to take a breath.

I gasp and swallow two desperate inhalations as I stare up at Toby. He’s hot like this. Pupils blown, lips parted as he stares at me with a blissed out, hungry expression.

Meanwhile, I’m covered in tears, spit, snot, and cum. Not just on my face, but dribbling down my neck and chest. I feel gross and yet the way he’s looking at me, I feel fucking gorgeous, too.

Two breaths. That’s all I’m allowed. Then his dick is down my throat again. His hands grip my head, disallowing me any movements of my own.

“You’re so fucking hot like this, baby girl. You like my big dick down your throat, don’t you? Look how sexy you are for me.”

It’s not just his dick down my throat that does it for me. It’s everything that comes out of his mouth. As it turns out, I’m a whore for dirty talk. My hips raise when he calls me his good girl. The pulsing in my balls becomes overwhelming when he calls me baby girl.

Nothing about this makes any sense to me. Even as foggy and lust filled as my brain is right now, those confused thoughts simmer just in the distance. Why do I like this? Why am I like this? What does this mean?

“That’s it. Such a good girl taking my cock like this. Fuck, if you could see the way your throat stretches for me, Atty. There’s simply nothing sexier than this.”

I try to swallow out of habit as one does when there’s something lodged in your throat. Toby groans when I do. I’m looking at him through tear-clumped lashes and he tips his head back in pleasure.

He’s not gentle as he pulls out. I manage a single breath before he forcefully shoves his dick down my throat again. It stings. It’s raw and scratchy. My jaw aches from being stretched so wide to accommodate him.

Yet, my dick aches in the worst way. I need to get off.

Toby always seems to know when I’m there. Either he gives me permission or he tells me no. This time it’s the latter. “Not till I say, Atty. Don’t you dare get off. Be good for me. Okay? Be my good girl.”

I whine around his dick, making him groan more.

“That’s it. Fuck, baby. I’m going to come down your throat. You want that?”

I nod as best I can. There’s not much movement, but he feels it all the same since he’s gripping me so hard.

“Soon, precious.” He rubs my hair from my forehead, his eyes once more staring into me. Toby’s still fucking my throat, but it’s slower. There are small gaps between plunges as he allows me to take a breath. “I love your obedience,” he murmurs, voice filled with lust. “You listen like a puppet. Like my words are programmed into you. You have no idea how much I love it. How hot it is. You enjoy it, don’t you, baby girl?”

All I can do is nod again. It’s not even a lie. There’s something so fucking erotic about it, and I want to get off at the thought of his control over me. How he demands and takes while forcing me to hold my orgasm until he’s ready for me to enjoy my own pleasure.

It feels almost masochistic. Part of me feels like I should be horrified that I’ve come to this.

But that part of me can’t deny how good I feel right now. It’s nearly euphoric. I wasn’t sure I’d like my hands tied behind my back, but it’s only heightened the pleasure that’s moving around inside me like a storm.

“You know what else is sexy? I want to put some makeup on you. Lipstick. Eyeliner. Then I’m going to fuck your face and see it run for me. I want to see you a complete fucking wreck, Atty. What do you think? Want to do that?”

As much as I think I should tell him no, I nod as I moan. Anything that turns him on is echoed inside me. His arousal somehow feeds my own.

“Put you in a dress. Something pretty and soft. Beautifully feminine. And then fuck you filthy. Mmm.”

His mmm sounds like a growl. As if he’s seeing just that. My dick throbs. Fuck, I need to get off so bad. I whimper again, fresh tears rolling down my cheeks.

“I need two dicks,” he says and at any other time, I might have laughed. “I need to be in your ass right now, too. I want you to come on my cock again. You want that?”

I nod wildly. Desperately.

His hands tighten around my skull and he goes full tilt into fucking my throat. I can’t breathe. The way his cock punches inside me so hard and rough, so fucking deep, I think he’s going to puncture a lung. My head starts to cloud. The room darkens. I might pass out. It’s close.

There’s no warning when he releases down my throat, holding his dick deep as he pulses. I cough and gag, but there’s no dislodging his dick. I’m just about there, my lungs burn as I struggle.

Toby pulls out and hauls me onto the bed. It’s awkward and painful with my hands tied behind my back. Everything inside me spins. Spins with near unconsciousness. With pleasure so intense that I might drown in it. With aches in all my muscles. My throat hurts so damn bad. His cum coats my tongue but I can’t bring myself to swallow more than sweet oxygen right now.

I’m limp like a rag doll as Toby moves me around. He yanks the thong off and then shoves his fingers into my ass. I barely respond except for a jolt. Fuck, I need to get off.

“Still ready for me,” Toby praises. I’m not sure he’s talking to me.

The next thing I know, he’s shoving his dick in my ass. I moan as he curls me in on myself to get his softening cock in deep. Deep, deep, deep. It’s still pulsing.

He leans over and kisses me. I want to protest at all the shit that’s on my mouth right now, but he kisses me like a desperate man.

Then his hand closes around my cock. His grip is wet and tight. He jerks me roughly. Determinedly. It’s so intense that my entire body spasms against him. I need to come. I need to come!

But he hasn’t told me to yet.

Tears run down my face. I’m continuously whining into his mouth, the sounds echoing in my head as my lungs still burn. My throat is fucking raw sandpaper and my balls feel like they’re going to explode if I don’t get some release soon.

“Come, baby.”

I do nearly before he gets the two syllables of ‘baby’ out of his mouth. I cry out, the haggard sound tearing through my burning throat and making me nearly sob. The orgasm is intense. I feel it everywhere. It hurts as much as it feels good. A pleasure that I could live and die on.

My mind floats for a long time as Toby covers me in kisses. I don’t have the strength to tell him to stop because I’m quite literally covered in a lot of disgusting bodily fluids right now. He doesn’t seem to care.

“You’re fucking amazing, Atty,” he murmurs. “You have no idea how fucking hot it is that you listen so well.”

I try to smile, but I don’t think I succeed.

“You feel how my dick still pulses in your ass, baby?” he asks. I do. “That’s all because of how good you are for me. You do that to me.”

A moan fills my throat. Fuck, why is it so hot to know you turn someone on that much?

“You okay?” he asks, his voice quieter now. “Did I hurt you too much?”

I shake my head. “No,” I croak. “Good.”

It’s not only too much energy for more words, but they feel like gravel in my throat right now.

“Mmm,” he hums, nipping at my ear. “I’m just going to keep my dick in your ass for a while longer. You’re so fucking tight.”

His words make the muscles in my ass contract and he groans. Since I don’t have the energy for much else, not to mention my arms are still locked behind me with my wrists tied together, I continue to use my ass muscles to tease him.

Toby’s groans continue. His hips start to rock. “You want me to fuck you, don’t you?”

I nod. As much as I enjoy his dick down my throat, I don’t want to leave here without being thoroughly fucked.

Toby obliges. With his hands on the backs of my knees, he folds me in half and begins fucking me. It’s rhythmic at first because I know he just came down my throat. I don’t think he’s quite there. Not entirely hard.

But it doesn’t take long before he’s laying into me full tilt. As much as I’d like to stop the sounds from coming out because each one feels like fingernails down my raw throat, I can’t. He hits every pleasure point inside me with every single thrust.

At some point, I end up begging for him. I need to come again. I need him to keep fucking me. Harder. Harder.

Toby does as I request. He’s fucking me so hard that the bed keeps slamming against the wall with very a loud thudthudthud. I’m sure the neighbors know what’s going on right now, never mind his roommates.

“Come for me, beautiful,” Toby growls. “Come on my dick again. Show me how good you are and come for me.”

I do, because I can’t stop it. My jaw tenses as my orgasm leaks out of me, moving through my body like a seismic wave.

Toby’s hands lock around my neck. He uses his grip on me to fuck me faster. His orgasm comes a minute later as he grunts and moans into my calf.

There’s a moment after when he just hovers as if he’s suspended. Our eyes are locked, and he wavers there. Then he rolls, taking me with him, and we end up on our sides, still tangled and wedged together.

“Fuck, Atty,” he murmurs, his words slightly slurred. “You have no idea what you do to me.”

I’m not sure if he truly means to say the words out loud. My heart is already beating far too quickly, otherwise it probably would have picked up its pace some more.

I don’t have the breath or energy to even grunt in response. Instead, I just stare at him, eyes half closed. Taking him in. He’s so damn beautiful. Even more so now than when I first saw him.

The thoughts make my chest tight. Fuck, I don’t think I can keep doing this if it’s so emotionally overwhelming. There’s no way I can keep putting off and ignoring all the things I don’t want to deal with when everything about Toby demands I face them.

I’m chicken shit. I know I wanted to shed my old life for something new, but this?! This isn’t what I meant. This isn’t just new, it’s practically a brand new planet. A whole new world. I’m completely drowning in all the new.

His fingers brush my cheeks, and I open my eyes a little. “You okay?” he asks again.

I get all warm every time he asks. It’s not just a habit. An obligatory question. He’s genuinely interested. Concerned.

Still, all I can do is make a pathetic sound in my throat. And then wince, because fuck does that sting.

The fingers on my cheek move to my throat. “I might have gone a little overboard.”

I shake my head.

He smiles. “I’m going to get you some warm tea and honey. Once you get some relief, I’ll get you cleaned up. Okay?”

I nod and sigh.

I’m only blearily watching him because I’m fucking exhausted, but I still watch. He’s gorgeous. Willowy and trim. With a monster dick that looks ridiculously disproportional when he’s hard.

Toby pulls off the condom and then pulls on some shorts before he disappears from the room. I’m nearly asleep by the time he returns. He gently unties my arms and rubs my shoulders to ease the stiffness. Then he helps me sit up and since my arms are basically limp noodles, he feeds me the hot tea.

It feels so damn good. Next best thing to sex with Toby is the hot tea he gives me after. Every time now, Toby takes care of me after. No matter what we’re doing. I think he likes to take care of me. More times than not, we end up laying together after and cuddling. Talking. It’s never about anything monumental, but the bridge between us grows. I feel it solidifies a little more every time. Connecting us.

I feel nearly human again by the time I finish the tea. Toby helps me to my feet and leads me into his bathroom and the tiny ass shower where he thoroughly, but softly, cleans my entire body. When I’m wrapped in a towel, his lips press against mine and he kisses me for a very long time.

There’s something different in this kiss than all the other times. Maybe because this one isn’t leading to sex. This one is for a different reason. It means something else entirely. The longer we kiss, the more frantic and scrambled I feel inside.

We stop kissing when he grudgingly tells me he has to get ready for work. Honestly, I’m relieved. I am not at all prepared for what’s been working its way through me as we kissed for fuck knows how long.

Toby tells me he’ll text me later and I nod. I kiss him goodbye but avoid his eyes and rush to my car. When I’m safely locked inside, I grip the steering wheel tightly and close my eyes as I take a shaky breath.

I want this. Everything inside me wants this—wants Toby.

So why do I feel like I’m about to have a panic attack?