Page 31 of Steinbeck (The Minnesota Kingstons #5)

TEN

Stein didn’t dance with her.

Not that Emberly thought he would—okay, she’d been hoping since the moment they walked into the gala. But when she’d followed him back into the event and tried to take his hand, he’d stuck it into his pocket.

Sure, he’d helped her track down Declan during dinner, and the man had given Nimue access to his SAR unit. So, mission accomplished.

But then not even a fist bump from her so-called teammate.

Emberly had no appetite for dinner as she passed off Tomas’s phone to Logan. He at least asked her if she was okay.

Nope. Not even a little. Because by the end of dinner, she knew...

She’d finally driven Steinbeck away.

And finally, okay, good . Because he would’ve eventually left her anyway. Aw, the thought just choked her. Especially with the memory of his voice only two balmy nights earlier: “Come with me if you want to live.”

He didn’t sit with her on the ride home, and then he disappeared with Logan and Colt and Tae into an office. Closed the door.

So Emberly walked down to her magnificent bedroom overlooking the city, with the platform king-sized bed and curved bouclé sofa, the platinum silk drapes. She felt regal when she stepped into the room, a dress bag over her shoulder.

Shopping with Tae had been an event, something she hadn’t expected when they’d arrived yesterday. Tae did most of the talking, telling her the story of meeting Colt—how she’d hidden her identity, how he’d chased her down after she’d run from him, his goal to protect her.

It sounded too much like Stein, and it stirred romance into Emberly’s heart. Especially when she’d donned the dress and shoes, turning into a version of Cinderella.

Ha.

Emberly had lost her shoes, just like in the stupid fairy tale, but she and Steinbeck certainly weren’t walking off into happily ever after together now.

She didn’t turn on the light but went to the window, the night pressing in, the city outside sparkling with a kaleidoscope of colors. She really liked the green dress—for a hot moment there she’d actually felt like a princess, like beautiful Imani of Lauchtenland.

Except, no. She would always be a counterfeit.

The phone she’d left on her nightstand rang, and she picked it up.

“I’m working on the program now,” Nim said without a greeting. “It seems uncorrupted, so that’s good. But I’ve been thinking. . . What if it wasn’t corrupted but remotely controlled? The AI commands superseded. There could be a back door?—”

“It’s over, Nim.” She sank onto the bed, staring at the round chandelier that hung from the twenty-foot ceiling.

“What’s over? Did you get Tomas?”

“Yes—no. I mean, yes, I saw him. Now that I think about it—I think he saw me first. And like an idiot, I took the bait. I think he was trying to kill me, and?—”

“Wait—what happened?”

She put her arm over her eyes and told Nim the entire story, from the bathroom trek to the moment she landed on the window-cleaning platform.

“I don’t quite know what I did, but... I think it’s over, Nim. Stein is... so mad.”

“He was scared, Emberly.”

She closed her eyes, saw him looking over the edge of the roof. “Okay, maybe. But then he looked at me like I’d... I don’t know.”

“Take a breath, Em. Give the man a full minute to process the fact that he nearly lost you.”

“I knew the window-washing unit was there—I saw it when we drove up. I purposely drove him to?—”

“You shouldn’t tell me these things.”

“Sorry.”

“So now what?”

“I gave the cell phone to Logan, and he gave it to his hacker, Coco. She’s trying to trace the calls and see if we get any hits. Maybe figure out what’s happening.”

“Good. Meanwhile, I’m looking for vulnerabilities.”

“You made it to the King’s Inn?”

“Mama Em took me in like a long-lost daughter.”

The words hit Emberly’s chest, burned. “She’s like that.”

“She’s very sweet—gave me a room in a house called the Grover. I have a window seat, and the room overlooks the lake, which is surrounded by trees that are already turning color. Reminds me of that place we stayed in Sturgis.”

“You were seven. How could you remember that?”

“I remember way back, further than that, Em. I remember Ernesto. And his pizza.”

Emberly sat on the bed, stared out into the darkness. “I liked him.”

“I know. He liked us too. And he wanted to marry Mom and adopt us.”

Emberly stilled. “No, he cheated on Mom.”

“Em. He proposed . I saw it. You were asleep, and I’d gotten up to get a drink of water, and he was on one knee in the living room. And I heard her tell him no.”

“She didn’t.”

“She did. She said that he’d leave her, just like everyone else, and that he’d break our hearts, and she cried and he left.”

“She told me he cheated on her.”

“Yeah, well, she probably thought he would. Or did. Who knows? Mom never saw herself as someone who could be loved. Sure, she longed to be loved, but in order to be truly loved, you have to be truly known, and she never wanted to trust anyone that much. That’s the scary part, right?”

Emberly closed her eyes. Saw Stein’s expression when he’d seen her in the dress.

Um.

But the sense of his maybe seeing her as someone who belonged in that dress had woven inside her. Made her believe the fairy tale.

“You should have heard him, Nim. He looked right at me and called me a thief.”

“Well, you are a thief.”

“No, I mean—he meant it. He made me feel...”

Silence.

“Like you were trash. Like you were... Mom.”

Emberly nodded in the darkness. “He comes from this amazing family. He was a SEAL, for Pete’s sake. A real-life hero. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“You’re thinking like a person who’s been wearing a disguise for so long, you don’t recognize who you truly are.”

She wanted to roll her eyes. “And who is that, Nim?”

Nim’s voice softened. “Emberly. The girl who asked Jesus to save her. To adopt her. The girl who still wants someone to love her and doesn’t realize that love is already right here .”

Emberly stilled. “No, that’s...”

“Truth. I remember the day you went forward in that tent meeting. You were changed. You’d always been this tough little thing, and suddenly, I don’t know. You laughed. And hoped. Fear seemed to fall off you. I wasn’t the only one who saw it. Remember, Anna made you a cake?”

“Like it was my birthday.”

“It was your birthday, Em. You were reborn that day.”

She drew up her knees. “Yeah, well, it didn’t take. It only took two months for me to run away.”

“Because you let yourself believe the voices in your head that say you are a thief. And broken. And unlovable. But love says something different. It says you’re wanted. And valuable. And important. And that you belong.”

From beyond her closed door, light filtered in, and voices lifted in the hallway of the penthouse. She walked to the mirror and stared at her reflection in the darkness, her wig off, her hair short and mussed, trying too hard in her silly silky dress.

“How long are you going to listen to the lies, Emberly? How long are you going to let your pride tell you that you are better off alone?”

Her eyes filled.

“And if you’re wondering, God is love, so.

.. feel free to substitute— God says you’re wanted.

And valuable. And important. And that you belong.

He looks at you and says, ‘That’s Emberly, whom I love.

’ And since God loves you, you are safe.

And most important, you’re not alone. You never have been. ”

And just like that, Stein’s words rocked through her. “You didn’t care. You went after Tomas on your own, not even a second to think ‘Hey, I have backup.’ Me. You had me.”

“I’m an idiot.”

“Sometimes. But an idiot who is loved.”

“Thanks for that.”

“Listen. There is the intoxicating smell of cinnamon rising from the kitchen. I think I have an intruder.”

“Wish I were there.”

A beat. “I wish you were here too, Em. Not because of the rolls, but because Stein is a good man, and with him I heard you laugh. And saw you hope. I saw you again. By the way, I talked with Stein’s brother Jack, and he thinks I need to buy a camper.”

“A what?”

“Go fix this, Emberly. The man is crazy about you. Be brave. After all, you are a Black Swan. Unique. Beautiful. Unexpected. I’m going to find some nourishment. I have a long night ahead. Don’t let me down—I need these people in my life. Love you.” She hung up.

Emberly stared at herself. Great, now even the scant makeup she’d worn burned down her cheeks. She wiped her face with her hands and got up.

Walked to the window. Emberly, the one Jesus— she closed her eyes— loves.

She pressed her hand to the window, drew it away, and watched her handprint disappear.

And deep in her memory, the swell of a hymn stirred inside her. “Amazing love! how can it be that Thou, my God, shouldst die for me?”

Amazing love.

Outside, a million tiny lights burned. “You’re not alone. You never have been.”

Suddenly, the immutable sense of being seen rushed over her. She stepped back, shaking.

Seen. Known. And yes ? —

Emberly, the girl that I love.

She sank onto the bed, put her hands on her face.

“For God so loved Emberly that he gave his only son . . .” She nearly looked up, expecting to see Boz standing in front of her all these years later. But no, just the memory of him.

“If the son sets you free, you will be free indeed.”

Oh, she wanted to believe that.

“I just... I don’t know how, God.” Her voice felt small, almost pitiful, but... even so, as she took a breath, a strength—no, a presence —seemed to fill her.

She sat on the bed and simply breathed it in.

“Not alone.” The sense of it embedded in her bones.

Go fix this. Maybe Nim’s voice. Maybe not. But Emberly got up and headed to the door.

Light bled down the hallway, across the four other bedroom doors, but she headed to the great room with the view of the city. She rounded through the kitchen to the office.

Logan Thorne stood with his back to her as she knocked, then came in.

He glanced over his shoulder, his expression dark.

“What’s going on?”