Page 15 of Steinbeck (The Minnesota Kingstons #5)

But even as he stripped down and climbed into bed, as he lay there in the darkness listening to Conrad snore, he heard Jack circling his brain. “But don’t pursue this woman with the hope that she’s going to give you some sort of purpose. Only God can do that.”

He closed his eyes. The only problem was, he’d never felt more as if he was supposed to be right here, doing this one thing, with this particular woman.

But Jack was right. There was no happily ever after waiting for him at the end of this mission. Phoenix was... messy. Dangerous. Frustrating. Never mind that she ran alone—she’d made that clear. No room for him, or for that matter God, in her life.

And maybe he had been, deep inside, trying to figure out how to help her. So yes, a project . Shoot.

The truth was, it wasn’t a question of if but rather when she was going to ditch him. And the last thing he needed was the spy he couldn’t forget running away with his heart.

* * *

She refused to be the villain in this story. Which was why Emberly hadn’t packed her bags. Hadn’t run.

Had even endured a showdown with Austen, who’d come to her room later to deliver an apology.

Which Emberly listened to through the closed door.

Then she’d lain in bed, rehearing Steinbeck’s pounding on the door, over and over, driving sleep far into the corners of the night.

Fine.

She threw back the comforter and got up, pulled on a pair of yoga pants and an oversized T-shirt, and headed downstairs and through the dark house to get a glass of water.

Then she slipped outside onto the porch, sat on the steps, and listened to the wind call her a fool.

She should have never let Steinbeck come along for this ride.

She was so engrossed in her thoughts, she didn’t hear the door open and close, or the footfalls on the porch.

She sensed a presence beside her. Looked up.

Austen. Steinbeck’s twin stood in a pair of long pajama bottoms, a T-shirt, and a cardigan, her auburn hair long and in tangles. “Can I sit with you?”

Emberly bit back an “Are you sure it’s safe?” and nodded instead. Scooted over on the top step.

Austen lowered herself next to her. “I’m sorry. Again.”

“It’s okay. Again.” She glanced over at her. “You’re not wrong.”

“I was wrong to call you trouble. You aren’t trouble. From what I recall, you got us out of trouble.”

Emberly gave a harsh laugh. “Now you’re the one lying.”

Austen gaped at her. Then smiled. “Fine. I guess it’s complicated. So, Emberly is your real name?”

“I prefer Phoenix.” At least, right now.

“Because?”

She looked over at the woman. “Emberly is... someone Stein wishes was real, I think.”

“She’s not?”

“She can’t be. But...” She looked out at the lawn, the moonlight on the water, spotted the place where Stein had kissed her. “It was a nice fairy tale for a moment. The Boy Scout and the thief.”

“Stein was hardly a Boy Scout.”

“He said he was an Eagle Scout.”

“He was. And sure, he’d help an old lady across the road—probably would lay down in traffic for her. But he’s not Clark Kent—mild mannered by day, superhero by night. The guy has never backed down from a fight. Which I guess is why you two seem to ignite like fireworks.”

That was the second time someone had used that description about them. Emberly didn’t correct it. Mostly because she’d definitely felt like fireworks out there on the lawn, thank you very much.

“Don’t worry, Austen. I’m not going to let him get hurt.” A promise to herself as much as to Austen.

“Have you met him?” Austen gave the tiniest of laughs. “I don’t think that’s in your control.”

Emberly smiled.

“What happened to you in Cuba?” Austen asked softly. “He was really worried.”

That was probably the last thing Emberly needed to hear. She told Austen the story, ending with “I couldn’t believe it was him speaking to me in the darkness. Just... a voice. But... it was everything.”

Maybe that was too much information, because Austen said quietly, “Are you in love with my brother, Phoenix?”

She glanced at Austen. Swallowed. “No. I... I don’t have room in my life for love.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

“But it’s the answer. Sure. Steinbeck is... he’s...” She sighed. “Just, like I said... everything.”

“Yes, he is,” Austen said, and nudged her. “He’s the all-in guy.”

“But you don’t want him to get hurt.”

“Of course not.” She glanced at her. “Although I do know that Steinbeck is a big boy. He can figure out what he wants on his own. And he’s been destroyed before. I have no doubt he can come back from a broken heart.”

Emberly’s chest tightened. So Austen expected Emberly to break his heart.

Well, in truth, she did too. Except, what if...

“I like your family.”

Austen smiled. “They’re okay.”

“I had this sort of pseudo-family for a very short time. A foster family. I ran away and screwed that up. But...” She shook her head. “It was just a nice dinner, is all.”

The wind stirred the chrysanthemums, the scent mingling with the night.

“You could stick around.”

“Here?”

“Here. There. Wherever Stein is. Maybe figure it out together.”

“Is that what you and Declan are doing?”

Austen glanced at her. “Um?—”

“Please. Like Declan isn’t crazy about you. And Stein says he’s not a terrorist, so...”

“He’s not, Phoenix. I promise. And yes... we’re together. He’s busy, though. He’s got an exhibit at the state fair tomorrow. Some AI tech he’s developed and is using to help train service-animal robots.”

“And you’re along for the ride?”

“I did snag a free ticket from Florida on his Gulfstream, but I’ve never been interested in his money. I have everything I need. It’s the man inside that intrigues me.”

“His outside isn’t so terrible either.”

Austen laughed, and it sounded so much like Steinbeck that it closed Emberly’s throat. Oh no, she just might be in love with the guy.

Or as far in love as she could allow herself to go.

“We’re figuring it out together,” Austen finally said. “I think that’s all you can do. We don’t know what tomorrow will bring. We just have to walk one day at a time. And it’s nice to do it hand in hand with someone.” She leaned back against the pillows.

Emberly stared out at the dark lake, the rippling of the moonlight upon the waves. “I’ve been a Black Swan for the better part of a decade. I’ve always had a mission. A plan. An objective. I’m not sure I can do one day at a time.”

“Just start with one day,” Austen said, and shivered. “I’m going in. But apparently, we’re all going to the fair tomorrow.”

“Yay. Cows.”

“You might be surprised.” She got up. “My guess is that you’ve never had cheese-curd tacos.

” She winked. “Glad you’re here, um, Emberly .

You’ve told yourself that you are one type of person for a long time.

You might consider that you could be another, even for a day.

Don’t give up on that name quite so quickly. ”

She went inside.

And Emberly sat on the porch for a long time, hearing “What kind of different life?”

Six hours later, she piled out of an SUV with Steinbeck and his family. The deep-fried, farm-animal, cotton-candy smells of the fair, the heat of the crowds, and the screams of children on rides just might convince her of that different life.

“Welcome to the Great Minnesota Get-Together,” Stein said as he handed her a ticket.

“The what?” She glanced at Conrad, walking hand in hand with Penny. Turned back to Stein. “Where do we start?”

“The Peg for an egg sandwich, and then down to the cattle barns for milk.”

The what? But Steinbeck grabbed her hand—as if they were continuing with the charade—and pulled her toward a tall space tower. He pointed to a restaurant with a red sign and matching umbrellas shading square picnic tables. “Save room. This is stop one.”

The family took up two tables, and she shared an egg muffin with Stein.

“I promise, I’m saving you,” he said when she eyed his half.

From there, they walked down to a cattle barn. Inside, fat cows lounged in tufts of straw, eating hay, the smell earthy.

“It looks like people are camping out between the stalls,” she said.

“They are. There are competitions every day, and people—mostly kids—earn prizes for the best cows, and in other barns, sheep and goats and pigs and horses... We usually watch at least one judging. My mom loves the horse shows.”

“Really?”

He bent to pet the hide of a fat tawny-colored cow. “Yeah. Salt-of-the-earth people.”

Grover and Mama Em, holding hands, had stopped to talk to a farmer.

So that’s what happily ever after looked like. Emily, dressed in a pair of leggings and tennis shoes, wearing an oversized T-shirt with the King’s Inn emblem, her blonde hair tucked into a baseball cap. Grover, in jeans and a T-shirt, also in a ball cap. Sheesh, those two even matched.

They moved on to a milking demonstration. “I’ve never seen such a thing in real life,” she said, watching the milk run through the tubing into metal canisters.

“We’re just getting started,” Boo said. She grinned at Emberly as if...

As if Austen hadn’t outed her last night. As if they still saw her as Emberly. Stein’s girlfriend .

Apparently he did too, as he kept his hand around hers, tight.

No. Wait. He was most likely just trying to keep her from running away.

They visited the sheep barn, where she dug her fingers into the thick wool of a sheep, then went to the goats, and finally to the big-pig stall, where a huge boar named Gerald lay on its side.

“He’s eaten a lot of milkshakes,” said Conrad.

Emberly laughed.

They headed outside and stopped at—yes—a milkshake stand. Jack and Harper shared a strawberry shake; Stein grabbed a chocolate shake.

“Again, halfsies?”

“Trust me.”

They bought Scotch eggs and cinnamon rolls, and then they stopped at a minidonuts stand.

“I had these once, at a street fair in Bozeman.”

He reached into her bag and she let him. “I love minidonuts.”

“You’re going to roll out of here like Gerald.”