Page 28 of Stay With Me (Griffin’s Den #2)

TWENTY-EIGHT

Luna

I pace back and forth as I wait for Am to text me back, confirming she’s still good to watch Jess this afternoon. We talked about it earlier in the week, and she eagerly jumped at the chance.

Happiness fills my chest when I think about how much our friends love Jess and fight over who gets to spend time with her.

My phone dings, and I pick it up from the counter, smiling when I see her response.

Am: Duh! If you didn’t let me spend time with her soon, I was going to ask to do it, anyway.Does she have any homework that she needs to work on?

Me: You’re the best.She does, but not a lot. Honestly, if you give her one of her packets, she’ll just sit and do that until you tell her it’s time for a break.

Am: A girl after my own heart. I used to be the same way as long as it was anything but math. I’ll pick her up before lunch if that’s okay? That way we can have a lunch date at the diner beforehand.

Me: I’ll put some money in her backpack for lunch.

I slip my phone into the side pocket of my leggings, pull out some cash from my purse, and put it in the front zipper of the backpack she’s been using.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see my book, and I blush, thinking about what happened when Noah came home.

With a shake of my head, I try to focus on everything in Jess’s backpack to make sure she has what she needs.

I wish I was more experienced, like the women in the books we read. Or like Pam, Abs, and Amelia.

I know exactly what’s supposed to happen today, but is it going to just happen when he walks into the house?

Will we eat first?

Do I just sit on the bed naked and wait for him to get home?

I look at my watch and see that he should be back right after Jess leaves. He had a training he had to do this morning in the next town over.

My hands get sweaty, and I wipe them on my shirt when I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket. I pull it out and see that it’s my group text with the girls.

Am: Our girl is getting some today while I watch Jess at the farm.

Pam: Do we need to have the safe sex talk?Did you ever have that?

Abby: Talking about safe sex should be more normalized.

Am: Totally agree. I didn’t even think about that.

Me: I’m not on birth control because I don’t have insurance or any identification.

Is that something you talk about before it happens?

Should we have talked about this in the shower the other night?

Abs: Okay, let’s not overwhelm her.

Luna, are you on any form of birth control?

Me: No, in The Family we were taught that was the work of the devil, and it was never an issue since I left.And my periods are pretty light, and I don’t have bad cramps.Which, according to what I looked up when I was able to get on a computer, is one reason why it’s prescribed.

Pam: My parents always taught us?.?.?. no glove?.?.?. no love. A rule I stand by to this day. So you need to make sure he wears a condom.If he says no, then no sexy time happens unless you want to take that risk.

Am: Don’t let him pressure you. If you’re uncomfortable, say no.

Abs: No means no. Full stop

Am: And if you say yes today, you can say no to the same thing tomorrow, and that’s okay.

My head is spinning as I process this information.

Me: I’m nervous. Like really nervous.I want to be confident?.?.?. sexy.

Abs: Luna?.?.?. that man likes you for you. You could sit on the couch in a potato sack, and he’ll find you attractive.It’s totally normal to be nervous your first time.

Pam: I was so nervous that I got drunk. I don’t even remember it.Do not recommend.

Am: Sex with someone is exciting and can be fun, but that first time can always start awkwardly. You don’t know what you like or what they like.Use your voice if something isn’t working.

Abs: What she said.But also, it’s going to hurt.

Pam: It’s not like in the books a lot of the time. But Noah looks like he knows what he’s doing. I think he’ll take care of you.

Am: Agreed. Trust him.The trust will make it easier.

Me: Maybe this is a bad idea.What if it’s so bad that he asks me to leave?

Nerves swirl in my stomach.

This will fully change our relationship.

I’m not mad about it, but if it isn’t what he expects, will he ask me to leave?

I shake my head at that thought. Noah isn’t like that.

Pam: If he asks you to leave, we’ll beat him up.

Abs: He won’t.

Am: We’ll put laxatives in his food if he pulls something stupid like that.

I snort while reading that. It’s amazing how I grew up in a cult called The Family, yet these women are more like family than anyone aside from Jess and Aspen. Without thinking twice, they have my back regardless of the outcome.

Aspen… I need to talk to Jess about her soon.

I make a note to shoot her therapist an email to see if either she or I can see if she knows anything.

I look back down at my phone, and my nerves come back when I think about tonight.

Me: Okay. So safe sex. It’s going to hurt. And be vocal about how I’m feeling. Am I missing anything?

Abs: Ask questions. Knowledge is power.

Pam: If after your first time, you read something in one of our books that you want to try, see if he’ll try it with you.

Am: Luke actually reads the books with me.

Pam: I bet not much reading is done.

Abs: Does that mean you read the SparkNotes instead of actually reading?

Am: Hardy har har. It was at first, but we have a “finish at least two chapters” rule.

We text back and forth for a while as I get some things done around the house. Jess is reading in her room when I peek my head in there. “Are you excited to hang out with Amelia at her farm today?”

She looks up at me and smiles. “Yes, when I was at school the other day, I read a book about the way she farms, and I have lots of questions for her.”

“I know Amelia will love answering all of them.” As I say that, my phone vibrates. I pull it out and see that Am texted.

Am: On my way. I should be there in less than 10.

I look up at Jess. “Am will be here in ten. Do you need to go to the bathroom or anything? I think you guys are going to get lunch before heading back to the farm.”

She closes her book and stands. “No. I’m good to go.”

We walk toward the kitchen. “I packed everything I think you might need and a change of clothes just in case you help with the fish and get wet. I also put money in the front pocket for lunch, but Am will probably pay.”

She tilts her head. “Do we let other people pay for us?”

“Um, sometimes, but it’s not because we can’t pay for ourselves. Just like sometimes we pay for other people if we’re out with them.” I don’t know how to explain this. It took me forever to understand the social cues on how this worked.

“I don’t understand.” She frowns as she puts her book in her backpack.

“It’s okay. It was confusing for me too, but you have more than enough money in your backpack for lunch.

” I place my hand on her shoulder as I squat down.

“Don’t think too hard about it. Also, you know that if you want to come home, you just tell Amelia, and she’ll bring you right back.

You don’t have to stay anywhere you don’t want to. Okay?”

As she nods, there’s a knock on her door. With my hand on Jess’s shoulder, we walk to the door and open it to a smiling Amelia.

“Hey!” she says, then looks at Jess. “Are you ready to go? We’re going to have the best day!”

“Yes, I’m very excited. I told Luna I was able to read about your farm with Ms. Cassidy at school, and I have a whole list of questions,” Jess tells her with a serious look.

“I’ll do my absolute best to answer all your questions. Do you have everything you need?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Perfect! Let’s head out.” Am holds her hand out for Jess.

Jess looks at me with a smile as she takes Am’s hand.

“We’ll be back around dinner, but I’ll text you before we come this way,” she says with a wink as she turns and walks away with Jess.

As they get in Am’s Jeep, I close the door and look at the clock. I still have some time before Noah gets back.

Time to distract myself with cleaning.