Page 38 of Stay Away from Him
Thomas:
Can I ask you something?
Amelia:
That’s what I’m here for.
Thomas:
You’ve done work in abnormal psychology, haven’t you?
Amelia:
You know I have.
Thomas:
The psychopathy paper you coauthored.
Amelia:
Yes. Why do you ask?
Thomas:
It’s just that word. Psychopath . It’s getting thrown around a lot.
Amelia:
About you.
[pause]
Amelia:
What, you think I haven’t been paying attention?
Thomas:
No, I know you have. It’s just…it’s embarrassing. Knowing your friends are hearing all the terrible things that are being said about you.
Amelia:
I get it. Kelli Walker still seems to be on the news almost every week. She seems to enjoy the spotlight.
Thomas:
I know. And it’s something she calls me.
Amelia:
Psychopath.
Thomas:
Yes.
Amelia:
And it bothers you?
Thomas:
Wouldn’t it bother you ?
Amelia:
More than the other things she says about you, I mean.
She’s called you a murderer. A narcissist. An abuser.
She’s said in no uncertain terms that you killed your wife in cold blood.
So out of all the things she’s said about you, all the names she’s called you, why is it this one word— psychopath —that we’re focusing on today?
Thomas:
It all bothers me. All of it. Everything she says.
Amelia:
Okay. But psychopathy is what you want to talk about. It’s what you asked me about.
Thomas:
I don’t even think Kelli Walker knows what a psychopath is. She’s not an expert. Not like you.
Amelia:
Is that what you want to ask me? The definition?
Thomas:
I figure you know. Better than she does.
[pause]
Amelia:
There’s a generally accepted list of traits. The inability to feel guilt or remorse, a complete lack of empathy, a high degree of impulsivity, and of course a tendency toward violence. Also, superficial charm.
Thomas:
Charm? How does that fit?
Amelia:
The psychopath is defined in part by their ability to manipulate others. To make people like them. To hide their true nature, in some respect. Charm is part of this. Charisma. Even attractiveness. The ability to woo or seduce others.
Thomas:
Because if other people knew what they were really like, deep down…
Amelia:
They’d be rejected by society. And some psychopaths learn at an early age how to mask who they really are.
[pause]
Thomas:
Do they know?
Amelia:
Know what?
Thomas:
That they’re psychopaths. Can a person know that about themselves?
Amelia:
Maybe not consciously. But on some level, they must know.
The ability to manipulate, to lie, to appear to be one thing while really being another—it presumes some level of self-awareness, doesn’t it?
If a psychopath hides who they are, it must be because they realize, even if only subconsciously, that there is something to hide.
Thomas:
So how do they hide it?
Amelia:
How does anyone hide anything? By pretending to be the exact opposite of who they are deep down. By running as far away from it as possible.
Thomas:
For instance?
Amelia:
Well, like I said, they tend to be charming. For the high-functioning psychopath, the levels of charm can be extreme. Aggressive, even.
Thomas:
Aggressive charm?
Amelia:
Yes. The high-functioning psychopath will tend to come on strong when they first meet someone, really try hard to get that person to love them.
Merely being liked isn’t enough. The high-functioning psychopath isn’t content with just that.
They have to be adored . In new relationships—particularly romantic relationships—they’ll love-bomb their target, absolutely shower them with affection, to get that person completely hooked, completely dependent.
Eventually they might lose interest, then a partner or friend will report a dark side coming out, that lack of empathy and remorse coming to the surface.
But in the initial phase of a relationship, the psychopath is fully engaged with their charm, with their skill of manipulation.
Thomas:
How do you know all this?
Amelia:
It’s in the literature. Psychopaths are everywhere , if you really look for them.
You’ll even see them cropping up sometimes in the helping professions—doctors, church pastors, even teachers or college professors.
It’s part of the hiding, the masking, of the psychopath’s true nature.
On some level, they know what they are and they know it’s bad.
So they go into a profession that could be deemed altruistic , even virtuous , to create some distance from that part of themselves.
How could they be bad, deep down, when they’re spending their lives helping people?
Thomas:
Why am I feeling attacked right now?
Amelia:
You asked. I’m just telling you what my research surfaced.
Thomas:
But you went out of your way to say doctors .
Amelia:
I didn’t go out of my way. I could’ve said psychiatrists too. You’ve heard of Hannibal Lecter?
Thomas:
He’s not real.
Amelia:
No, but the trope exists for a reason. The powerful, respected psychopath, hidden by the veil of respectability afforded by his profession.
Thomas:
Hmm. And the respected pediatrician who killed his wife, right?
[pause]
Amelia:
Why would you say that?
Thomas:
It’s what you were thinking.
Amelia:
It wasn’t.
Thomas:
You think I don’t know what you’re doing?
[pause]
Amelia:
Thomas. You’re scaring me.
Thomas:
Scaring you? I’m sorry, I guess I’m just feeling a little defensive to hear my best friend in the whole world call me a psychopath.
Amelia:
You’re projecting. I’m only answering your questions.
You’re the one who sets the agenda in this room.
I go where you lead. Maybe the question you should be asking yourself is, why did you want to talk about this in the first place?
Just idle curiosity? Or is it because you’re afraid you might—
[loud crash]
Amelia:
[screams]
Thomas:
I don’t need to be asking myself a fucking thing.
Amelia:
Go back to your chair, Thomas. Get your hand off my neck and go back to your—
[croaking sound]
Thomas:
No, you listen to me now. You think I’m such a goddamn psychopath?
A remorseless manipulator, prone to violence?
Well, then you need to ask yourself something.
You need to ask yourself why it is that you feel so free to speak disrespectfully to someone you should be afraid of.
You need to start asking yourself how you’re going to get out of this alive.
How you’re going to avoid being next. You got that?
[gasping, heavy breaths]
[footsteps]
Thomas:
This session is over.
[door opens, closes]
[pause]
[sobbing]
Amelia:
I can’t do this.