Page 15 of Starfall

Get your shit together , I chastised, forcing my attention to her throat, to the pulse point flickering beneath the thin skin. All of these lustful thoughts were born from nearly drowning to death. I imagined something as frightening as death had a tendency to fuck with your mind.

Digging my nails into my palms, I lifted my chin, meeting her eyes once more. They peered at me with curiosity, with…confusion. Trapped in that moment, we breathed each other in, my traitorous heart out of control.

I…I wasn’t sure how to explain my reaction. Or, I could, but since Grace had left me in Persh to abide by her father and accept her new fiancé, I hadn’t looked at another woman in the same way. Until now?—

“You saved me,” Ari whispered, voice gritty and hoarse.

I pushed back to my knees, needing the distance. “Did you truly not think I would?” I asked more firmly than intended. “Do you think I’d let you drown?”

Even I wasn’t that cruel. Soul bond or not, I would have tried to save her.

She was under my protection. Ironic, as Ari intended to grant me my greatest wish.

The details of which we had yet to go over.

Before now, I only thought of the pain when we separated, but I’d hold back my questions for later.

Perhaps after the color returned to her face.

Ari flinched as though my accusation physically struck her. Her eyes lowered as she lifted to her elbows, shame turning her cheeks pink.

Silence fell. The uneasy kind that made my skin itch.

I rested my hands on my thighs, digging my fingers into the muscle to disguise how I shook. We’d have to get warm before nightfall, or Alecks wouldn’t be our only concern. Hypothermia was a son of a bitch.

“I didn’t know what to expect,” she finally admitted. “I thought you would’ve been glad to be rid of me.” She attempted a laugh, but it was a fragile little thing.

The confession forced me to stand, flames of anger licking at my insides.

“You know nothing about me,” I growled, loathing how Ari recoiled in response.

But it was too late. I’d been weighed and judged far too many times in my life, and this stranger—one who I just saved—dared make assumptions.

“I may be a brute , as you call me, but I would never willingly let an innocent die.”

I gave Ari my back, my breathing erratic.

Rubbing at my eyes, I ground the heel of my palm into the sockets, trying to rid myself of the images I saw every night in bed—the hooded men barreling through our door, the wood splintering, debris flying everywhere.

Mother, sprinting into the main room from the kitchen, only for the hilt of a sword to come down and crack her skull.

I remembered how she’d fallen, so quickly, like a sack of grain.

I had screamed from my place on the floor, an unfinished game of chess before me.

I didn’t move, my small body frozen. Terrified.

Helpless . I watched as Father attacked, coming at the three cutthroats from the side, his face a mask of fury I’d never seen him wear before.

The attackers were simple thieves, one injured, his right arm poorly bandaged.

Blow after blow fell, my father not made for battle, though he valiantly tried to defend us. He got up after each beating, even if he was no match against the giants who’d invaded our home.

We have nothing to steal , I’d thought, but then one of the bastards eyed my mother, who was rousing and struggling to stand.

The depravity that clouded his eyes…I would never forget it.

Father must’ve seen it too, be cause as my mother limped to scoop me into her arms, the third intruder hot on her trail, he gathered his final kernel of strength.

Mother surrounded me, using her waning energy to carry me out the back entrance, aiming for the neighbor’s farm.

I glimpsed my father rise. Saw him punch the first intruder square in the jaw, grab the dagger secured to the man’s belt, and turn.

He sliced at the injured man and hurtled toward our pursuer, the steel blade flashing.

The back door shut just as I locked eyes with my father, seconds before he raised his arm and let it fall.

A scream rent the air. It hadn’t belonged to him, and for a sliver of a heartbeat, I had hope?—

But then another scream sounded, one I recognized deep in my soul.

Mother ran all the way to our neighbor’s land.

She banged on the Parsons’ door and rushed us inside the moment they opened their home to us, their eyes wide with terror.

Hours later, Mother instructed me to stay behind so she could investigate, but the look of defeat was clear on her face.

She knew, even then, that he was gone. Being the stubborn child I was, I’d snuck behind, and what I saw, the horror of grisly red splattered all over the walls, left me forever changed.

When Mother left, her eyes bloodshot and her limbs trembling, I crawled through the blood and begged for the Eternal to help. Curling up around my father’s cooling corpse, I promised the Eternal everything , including my soul.

“Grant me a wish, and my soul will be yours!” I’d screamed, my little voice cracking.

My young mind had believed that the Eternal listened when a flash of light sparked across my eyes. My lips had parted in anticipation, but just as suddenly as the light flared, it went out, leaving me alone in the unholy darkness.

My father never stirred.

I shouted until dawn, until my throat was raw and parched, and eventually, I lay my head down beside Father, staring into his open eyes. As the new sun brightened the summer morning, all I could think about was how I’d been too weak to have fought. Too weak to save him.

That day haunted me like a nightmare. It lived in my chest alongside my heart, and it beat in tune with it.

A few years ago, I left for Persh, unable to meet my mother in the eyes, a woman who’d become a shell of her old self.

She’d grown sick that last year, and still I left and didn’t look back.

I’d been selfish, and each time I gazed upon her—the mother I loved with all my heart—I saw my failure reflected back at me.

The Parsons watched over her. I paid them well enough to do so. But I couldn’t be the one to hold her; each time I did, I was held captive by that day. When the father I loved was murdered and I had just watched . She deserved so much better than me for a son.

The evening I landed in the sinful city of gambling and debauchery, I met Darren, or more likely, Darren saved me after a local gang beat me to a pulp.

The boss picked me up off the ground, assessed me, and nodded, motioning for his men to bring me to the bunks where his fighters lived.

I stayed underground for a year and a half before I earned enough money for my apartment.

That was the first time in years I’d felt something other than hatred.

“Where did you go just now?”

I jolted. Ari stood inches away, her hand resting against my chest, right above my heart.

I glanced down to where her trembling fingers grazed my shirt.

They were delicate and lean and impossibly small.

For just a second, warmth battled with the ice overpowering me.

Such a simple thing, her comfort, yet it slithered around my frame and hugged tight.

I shut my eyes, relishing in the peace. Relishing in the woman before me. One who had nearly died.

The thought made bile rise in my throat.

I hastily stepped back, forcing Ari to stumble away as well. When she righted herself, she eyed me from head to toe as if she couldn’t quite figure me out. Join the club .

“Sorry, you just…d-disappeared there for a second,” she said, peering at her boots. I cringed when she gave a violent shudder.

Focus on the now .

Drowning in my pain was pointless, and it wasn’t as though Ari could even remotely understand. She had lived her life in the sky, a cherished being created by an entity I hadn’t believed to be real until yesterday. Regardless, hurting her feelings wasn’t something I purposefully aimed to do.

“We need to get out of these clothes and build a fire,” I said, my tone as icy as the breeze.

It was better than watching her shiver miserably.

Scanning the woods, I prayed I’d catch a glimpse of some mystical hunting cabin whose door we could knock upon.

These were the eastern lands, though, and we were far from civilization.

On foot, it would take us two days to get to Persh.

Overhead, the sun dipped in the sky, its dwindling light mocking, reminding me that nightfall would cement our fate.

“Elias?” The star maiden cocked her head, and if I wasn’t mistaken, concern twisted her lips and creased her eyes. Genuine concern. For me .

I had to put an end to that. To her grating compassion. I didn’t like how it made me feel, and establishing an attachment with her would only end in sorrow. This was a transaction between us, as simple as that.

“If we don’t find shelter and build a fire before that sun sets, then we will be dead,” I enunciated, doing my best to frighten her. Fear worked to clear the mind.

I scrubbed a hand over my stubbled chin as I pictured the vast forest I’d grown up in. I had camped in these parts many times, and an abundance of caves remained scattered across the forest. If we could find one and spend the night, we might make it to see dawn.

Ari shivered, her teeth chattering audibly. She’d attract all manner of predators if she kept that nonsense up. With a gruff sigh, I closed the gap between us and scooped her up in my arms. It took her less than a second before she protested.

“Y-you don’t have to carry me! I’m p-perfectly c-capable of walking,” she seethed, although I doubted she’d get far on those unsteady legs of hers. The woman could hardly manage a breath. Something told me she wasn’t keen on people taking care of her. Apparently, I was offering.