Page 29 of Stand Your Ground

“We haven’t talked at length about it yet, but… yes,” Chloe said, carefully folding the green suit and putting it on top of the pile cleared to pack. “I would love to have a child. And I think Ava would make the best big sister.”

“She would,” Maven agreed with a soft, knowing gaze. “Andyouwould make an incredible mother.”

It felt like a corset was being pulled tight over my ribs as I smiled and nodded in agreement.

Chloe shrugged, looking at where her fingers were coiling in the silky fabric of a black swimsuit now. “I’d certainly try to be.”

She held up the suit for us to see, and when we took in the one-piece with a set of three gold rings lining the chest and stomach area, it was an easy yes.

“What about you babes?” Chloe asked. “Any of you want to hop on the mom train?”

Grace laughed so loudly it startled Nacho, one of Chloe’s cats who’d been happily snoozing on the back of the couch. He skittered off as Grace hopped up and grabbed a fresh beer from the cooler she’d packed and dragged into the living room so she wouldn’t miss the fashion show going to the kitchen for a refill.

“Not me,” she declared. “I’ll happily play best auntie in the world to all of your kids, but mom life is not in the cards for this gal. I love to travel too much.”

“You can still travel with a baby,” Maven said. “It’s not like they take your passport away when you give birth.”

“It’s hard enough to travel with Jaxson sometimes, and he doesn’t wear a diaper.” Grace popped the lid off the fresh bottle of beer. “Child-free life for me, lovers. What about you, Mave?”

“On the fence in a major way,” my best friend replied, and I squeezed her arm where it was still threaded through mine. “I mean, I could see a happy life with just me and Vince, but I could also see a happy life with a house full of kids.”

“Plural?” Grace asked, eyes wide.

Maven shrugged. “I can’t explain it, but I feel like I’ll either have zero or four.”

Grace nearly spit out her beer.

“I’m a definite yes,” Mia chimed in from the laptop screen. She had a glass of champagne in hand now and had changed into an oversized t-shirt, her free hand working on removing her makeup with a washcloth. “Notnow, obviously, but… one day.” She smiled. “What about you, Liv?”

Everyone went dead silent for a beat.

And then they all burst out laughing.

“Liv? With a baby?” Grace wheezed, setting her beer on the table so she wouldn’t spill it. “Please. She’s more likely to surprise us with a vow of celibacy than a pregnancy.”

“Oh my God,” Chloe gasped, laughing so hard she was crossing her legs like she was two seconds from pissing herself. “Could you imagine? ‘Sweetie, no chewing on Mommy’s leather whip, okay? Let’s go get your teething ring.’”

“‘No, no, that’s acockring, honey,’” Maven continued the joke, and that earned her a new fit of giggles from everyone. “’Now drop it.Drooopit.”

“Aww, I could see it, actually,” Mia said when her laughter subsided. “You’d have the poshest baby ever, Liv. Full cashmere wardrobe. Custom stroller. Little Nike shoes.”

“I think Liv would rather surrender her impressive collection of butt plugs than push a baby out of her precious vagina,” Maven said.

“Entrance only — no exiting allowed,” Grace managed as her face turned red.

The whole room howled.

And I willed myself to join them.

Smile, a voice inside me tried.Roll with it. Play the part. Make a joke. Toss them a wink and a little ass shimmy for good measure.

That was the gig, right?

That was what they all expected.

But for the first time, I couldn’t do it.

My jaw was clenched so tight it ached, and I could feel my fingers curling tighter around my wine glass, so tight I was afraid it might shatter. My heart thudded once, then again, loud in my ears. I stared at the floor, then at my friends, each of them smiling, not a clue what they were stomping on with their jokes.