Page 120 of Stand Your Ground

My eyes burned, the sting too sharp to blink away.

“So yeah.” He gestured to the collar. “I bought a fucking dog collar that I fully intend to wear for you any time you like. Because I love when you own me in the bedroom — but I also need you to know that you own me everywhere else, too. Completely. Body and soul. And I’m not just eager to give myself to you, I’m desperate for it. For as long as you’ll have me.” Hesqueezed my hand. “And I know it’s a lot to ask of you. I know I have a long way to go to earn your trust when those you’ve loved most in the past have done nothing but hurt you. But I’m asking you to try. I’m asking you to give yourself to me, too, even if it scares the ever-living shit out of you.”

My nostrils flared, tears welling in my eyes.

“I promise you,” he said, leaning forward, his gaze sincere and never leaving mine. “I will not hurt you. I will not fumble this. I will cherish you the way you deserve to be cherished, and I will take whatever sordid route you need me to take to get there.” He added that last part with a laugh. “You are, and always have been, in control, Liv. All I ask is that you take me along for the ride.”

I held my sob in my throat, trying my best to hold strong even as tears slid down my cheeks, hot and unrelenting.

Carter smirked nervously, like he was trying to lighten it all with another squeeze of my hand. “Damn, yeah, I nailed that one, didn’t I?”

But instead of a laugh, the sob I’d been holding at bay ripped free, and I broke.

My hands flew to my face, covering it as I shook my head and gave in to the current pulling me under. My shoulders shook, and I clutched that key necklace to me even in my despair, wishing every word he just said would hold true when I knew it never could.

Panic crashed over his features as Carter bolted around the table. “Shit—Liv, hey, I’m sorry. Too much, right? I—fuck, I shouldn’t have—”

I shook my head furiously, unable to find words, choking on the tears as he crouched in front of me. I never fucking cried, and here I had twice with him in the last two weeks. Was it hormones? Or was it just the power this man had over me?

His hands were on my knees, his eyes frantic and searching while Zamboni barked and danced around us, pawing at me like he couldn’t stand to see me cry, either.

“Tell me what’s wrong,” Carter begged, voice breaking. “Liv, talk to me.”

My lips trembled as I sniffed and looked up at the sky, my vision blurred, hands falling into my lap but still holding fast to the necklace.

I took a deep breath.

And then I let the truth fly like the grenade it was.

“Carter…” My voice cracked as I dragged in another ragged breath. “I’m pregnant.”

There it was.

My next breath seared like I was breathing in straight smoke and fire, and the waitresses came out with smiles and dessert in their hands only to take one look at me and immediately round right back into the kitchen.

I couldn’t look at Carter for a full minute, my eyes losing focus on the lights strung in the distance. I couldn’t bear to see the disappointment in his eyes, to have to witness his world crashing down by my hand.

The silence between us stretched, endless and suffocating, and when I finally felt like I had no other choice, I faced him.

The look on his face gutted me.

His eyes were wide and devoid of life, his lips parted, like the earth had just tilted off its axis and he was waiting for space to swallow him whole.

Panic clawed up my throat, stomach twisting so violently I curled in on myself.

“I know,” I blurted, the words tumbling out fast, frantic. “I know we didn’t expect this — trust me, I know.”

He opened his mouth, but I steamrolled right over whatever he meant to say.

“You have to understand, I never told you… but this was always my plan. This was always it for me. I was going to freeze my eggs, to have a child one day, on my own. That’s why I said yes to your offer so easily — it was going to set me up to pay for all the procedures, the freezing and storage, and then one day… I was going to take care of a baby on my own. I knew with that two-million dollars, we’d never want for anything. I could hire a nanny to help. I could afford a nice daycare when the time came. That was always the plan.On my own,Carter.No husband, no boyfriend, no one else. Just me and her — yes, her, because in my mind it was always going to be a girl — and a chance to give someone the mother I never had.”

His brows furrowed, shoulders deflating. “Liv…”

“I went to the appointment this week.” My voice cracked again, the memory slicing me open. “I knew you and I had… I knew you said you loved me and goddamnit, Carter,” I choked, eyes colliding with his. “I love you, too.”

His eyes watered, which only made my own emotions harder to contain.

“But I still had to do this for me,” I whispered. “Just in case. I wanted to know that I still had this option, especially because I know you…”