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CHAPTER TWELVE

CLAIRE

My blood is boiling by the time I pull up at Sebastian’s house. The gate we took to reach his garage is locked, so I park my car at the base of the hill and start hoofing it up the long flight of stairs leading to his front door.

I’m sweaty and out of breath when I reach the top, which only stokes my ire. My hands curl into fists, and I pound on the door — not caring that I might piss off our “anonymous donor.”

Then the door flies open, and my angry diatribe dies on my lips.

Sebastian is standing in the doorway wearing only a pair of sweatpants. My gaze travels up his six-pack abs and chiseled pecs before coming to rest on his face. Something like pain flashes through his cobalt eyes, and that gaping hole in my chest opens even wider.

I thought I’d be able to keep it together if I just stayed angry, but seeing my mate standing before me makes my throat itch with tears.

I want to throw my arms around him and bury my face in his neck. I want to cry and scream at him for what he did, and I also want him to scoop me up in his arms and carry me to his bed.

The distance between us makes my chest ache, and my body craves him with a level of need that verges on painful. I hate this hold he has over me.

Then my eyes snap back to his sweatpants, noting the cat hair clinging to the fabric. For some reason, I find the sight hopelessly endearing — even if he did decide to foster the cats just to get close to me.

“Hey, love,” he says, his voice slightly ragged.

“Good morning,” I manage, trying my best to remain professional despite the confusing mix of feelings swirling in my stomach. “I’ve just come to check on the cats.”

“They’re well-cared for, I can assure you. Kevin hasn’t moved from his sunning spot by the window.”

I narrow my eyes in a glare. How can he stand there and act so normal when my entire being aches for his touch?

“I’ll need to see for myself,” I say. “The twenty-four-hour check is required for all of our fosters to make sure the cats are adjusting to their new environment.”

Sadness flickers through his eyes, but he quickly masks it. “Very well.”

He steps aside to let me pass, and I try to ignore the delicious scent that lingers in his home. It’s leather and bergamot and Sebastian , and my treacherous body thrums with need.

“This isn’t right,” I growl, my temper getting the best of me. “These cats have been through enough. You can’t just use them to get to me. They deserve better than that.”

Sebastian lifts those perfect dark eyebrows, and my gaze inadvertently flicks to his lips. “I agree.”

“Did you think that by donating a ridiculous amount of money to the shelter that you’d somehow win me back?”

“That donation was meant to be anonymous,” he says cooly.

I open my mouth and close it again, glaring at him suspiciously. After everything he did, he has the nerve to stand there and act as though this is totally normal. What’s worse, I’m going to have to uproot Kevin, Tator Tot, Nugget, and Yo-Yo all over again.

Seething, I stomp into the great room and stop dead in my tracks.

Sebastian’s carefully curated living space has been transformed. Kitty condos are strategically positioned by the windows. Fluffy cat beds lie in puddles of sunshine. There’s a tall scratching post next to the fireplace, and toy mice litter the floor. Kevin is sprawled on the warm concrete, looking more relaxed than I’ve ever seen him.

I round on Sebastian. “You went out and bought all this stuff? ”

“Er, well, no,” he admits, scratching the back of his head. “I . . . had it delivered.”

“But you hate cats.”

“Hate is a strong word,” he says slowly. “I hate cat hair , but I’ve hired a maid service to come in and tidy twice a week. I think that should suffice.”

I blink at him. “Why?”

“Four cats generate quite a lot of hair.”

“No, I mean —” I gesture around. “Why go to all this trouble? You had to know I would come here and . . .” I trail off.

What is it that I’m planning to do? I can’t exactly confiscate the cats — not when they’re so well-cared for.

Sebastian shoves his hands in his pockets, staring at the floor. “I thought I’d give the whole do-gooder thing a try. I wanted to . . . I dunno. Be worthy of you.” He scoffs. “Stupid, really.”

I blink. Something about seeing my handsome, cocky mate like this thaws the ice around my heart.

“I’m sorry for digging into your past,” he continues. “I know it’s not . . . Well, it’s not how normal people start a relationship. But, in my defense, I didn’t plan on starting a relationship with you at the time.”

I nod.

He drags in a shaky breath, still not looking at me. “I don’t know how to do this,” he admits. “I’ve never met someone like you. Someone who was genuinely . . . good.” He shrugs. “I have a hard time trusting people. I guess I find it easier to learn all I can so that I’m . . . prepared.”

“I suppose with what you do, you’ve been trained to expect the worst,” I say slowly.

“Yes, but it’s not . . . Well, it’s not just my line of work.”

He pauses for so long that I’m not sure he’s going to say anything else, but then he adds, “My mother wasn’t the maternal sort, and I never knew my father. After my first Change, I was a bit lost, I suppose. Withdrawn. Quiet. Had a hard time making friends.” He sighs. “My rugby coach was the only one who took much of an interest in me. I thought I’d finally found someone I could trust . . .” His throat works, and he doesn’t look at me as he says, “One evening, he asked me to stay back after practice. I thought he wanted to talk about my defense. As it turned out . . .”

Sebastian trails off, and my gut tightens. “How old were you?”

“Fourteen.”

“I’m sorry,” I croak, feeling the inadequacy of the words even as they leave my mouth.

“I know now that he was just a shit stain of a human being preying on young boys — that I wasn’t the only one he did this to. But at the time, I felt . . . alone. Ashamed. Like it was some dark secret I had to carry.”

Horror and fury unfurl inside me, and my heart breaks for him.

“To cope, I would shift and stay wolf for weeks at a time. My animal didn’t feel emotions as acutely as I did in human form, which made the pain . . . bearable. When I was human, I didn’t speak to anyone. I think I was worried that people would find out what had happened if I so much as opened my mouth.”

“You didn’t tell anyone?” I whisper.

“Who would I have told? My own mother didn’t give two shits about me, and the man who . . .” Sebastian’s jaw twitches. “He was beloved . I didn’t think anyone would believe me, even if I had wanted to come forward. Eventually, I flunked out of school. I had a lot of time on my hands, so I learned how to hunt.”

Sebastian’s expression darkens. “I started stalking sexual predators online and hacking into their bank accounts . . . draining the funds. It was easy to find out who they were — and even easier to gain access to their accounts. Nobody had a strong password back then. There was no two-factor authentication. Then I started going into their email accounts and forwarding the pictures and videos to the authorities. It felt like justice, but it wasn’t enough.” He takes a deep breath. “It took seven years, but I finally got up the courage to face my old coach.”

Sebastian’s expression shutters. “I wasn’t merciful. There are still bits of him scattered all over the practice field, I imagine.”

I swallow, cringing inwardly while trying to keep my expression neutral. I want to show my mate that he was right to trust me with his past.

“Slaughtering that bastard made me realize I had to stop. Turning perverts over to the authorities was no longer satisfying my wolf, and I didn’t want to be that monster I turned into when I ripped the flesh from his bones. So I moved to the states. Got a proper job. It wasn’t until this business with the McGregors that I started hunting again. Only this time, I was hunting for the bears that had hurt my pack.”

I let out a shaky breath.

“Hunting Murphy . . . well, let’s just say that it brought out a part of me I thought I’d gotten rid of.”

“The part of you that has to know everything to feel in control.”

He gives a jerky nod, and understanding hits me.

Sebastian has never had anyone in his life he could trust. Ever since he was a boy, he’s moved through life discovering the worst of the worst in humanity. It’s no wonder he feels the need to question everything — to know everything.

“So now you know all of my secrets,” he says quietly. “I know it doesn’t excuse what I did, but —”

“Thank you for telling me.”

Sebastian studies me for a long moment. “For what it’s worth, you’re not the woman I was expecting to find.”

“You mean a stripper ?”

“No.” He shakes his head. “I’ve never met someone who was quite so good. So . . . idealistic.”

“So na?ve ?” I supply.

A tiny grimace creases his face.

“So desperate to have someone love me that I’d accept whatever scraps Dane tossed me? ”

“Wanting to be loved doesn’t make you desperate,” Sebastian murmurs, reaching up and ghosting his fingertips across my cheek. “It just makes you human. And you, my sweet human, are infinitely deserving of love.”

My breath catches at those words, and I feel a lump rise in my throat.

“You can’t even begin to comprehend the dark shit that goes on in my head,” he whispers. “When I first saw your videos online, I told myself that woman was too good to be true. That there couldn’t be someone like you left in this shit basket of a world, because if there was, then I was even more of a monster than I realized.”

My mouth falls open. Is that really how he sees himself?

“You are not a monster,” I say, holding his cerulean gaze so he can see that I mean every word. “You are good and kind. You hunt to protect others. You . . . You’re my avenging angel.”

A smile twitches at the corner of his mouth. “I rather like that.”

Sebastian leans in and presses a kiss to my forehead. “For what it’s worth, I feel honored that my mate is the kind of person who takes in strays. Who loves so deeply and trusts so fully. And, if you let me, I promise I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to be worthy of that love and trust. To be worthy of you . . . and him.”

He reaches down to place a hand on my belly, and tears well up in my eyes .

Suddenly, I no longer care that Sebastian has seen into my past. He is my present and my future, and I want him to have all of me — even the sad, rejected orphan who I’ve tried to disown.

I know now that my mate won’t reject any part of me, just as I’d never reject the abused shifter boy who grew into the man I love. We both have our scars, and somehow I know that he’ll love mine just as tenderly as I love his.

Slowly, I rise up and plant a soft kiss on his lips. I taste the salt of my own tears on my tongue, and when Sebastian’s mouth moves against mine, I feel that sad, festering hole in my heart start to heal.

Soon our gentle kisses deepen, and a warm ache grows between my thighs. Maybe it’s the mating bond — maybe it’s just Sebastian — but the need to be with him is so strong it almost hurts.

My body won’t be satisfied until he’s inside me.

A low groan rumbles up Sebastian’s chest, and I wonder if he feels it too. Before I can pull away to ask, my mate sweeps me off my feet and deposits me on the edge of the counter.

Cool air pricks my skin as he helps me out of my shirt, and my nipples pebble up beneath my bra. His gaze turns feral as he looks me over — his eyes golden like his wolf’s. My skin heats under his assessment, and my panties grow damp.

Sebastian deftly unbuttons my pants, and I lift my hips off the counter. My jeans and panties come down in one rough tug, and my mate’s nostrils flare as he takes in the sight of my bare lower half.

I can tell his wolf is close to the surface as he guides me back onto the counter and pries my legs apart. I shudder as my bare skin makes contact with the cold stone, but my shiver quickly gives way to pleasure as he parts my wet folds and licks a trail up my seam.

“Mmm,” he groans. “You are delicious , angel.”

My cheeks flame at his words. I’ve never felt so exposed. So . . . on display. But the moment he slips his fingers into my channel and begins to circle my clit with his tongue, all my insecurities dissolve into pleasure.

I am a goddess splayed out on his counter, completely at his mercy. Sebastian’s movements are slow and languid — as if he’s savoring every taste. And when he plants his tongue beneath the hood of my clit, my whole body goes rigid with need.

The prick of his stubble intensifies everything, making me grind my hips into his face as my body chases the friction. Sebastian growls against my pussy as my essence coats his lips, thrusting his fingers in harder, deeper.

“So wet for me, angel,” he mumbles, dipping his head lower to lap up my cream.

I moan my assent and grind into him harder. The ache in my core is nearly unbearable.

As if he senses my level of need, Sebastian gently withdraws his fingers and shucks off his pants.

He stands before me in all his magnificence — a smattering of dark hair leading down to the long, proud length of him. A drop of cum is already beading up on the head of his cock, and my whole body shivers in anticipation.

Sitting up, I move to the very edge of the counter, and Sebastian enters me with one hard thrust. I cry out as he hits the very end of my channel, my pussy fluttering around his impossible girth.

I can feel him everywhere — in my very skin — and I close my eyes to commit this moment to memory. Now, tomorrow, and every day for forever, I want this male between my thighs.

Cupping my ass, my mate hefts me off the counter. I dig my fingers into his shoulders as he pulls out and drives back in, slamming me down onto his length over and over and over again.

With every thrust, that pressure builds until tears gather at the corners of my eyes. My body can’t take this exquisite torture much longer. I need him to let me break.

“Come for me, angel,” Sebastian growls, pausing to rest his forehead against my own.

This time, when he rams back in, he hits that magical spot, and stars explode behind my eyelids.

I scream his name as my walls clench all around him, my pussy throbbing with each wave of pleasure. Sebastian grunts as he finds his own release, his warm cum spilling out of me and trickling down my thighs.

Completely sated, I rest my head against his shoulder and let him carry me upstairs. Sebastian lays me down on the bed as if I’m something precious and breakable, disappearing into the bathroom to retrieve a warm washcloth.

Once he’s cleaned me up, he sprawls out beside me and covers us with a heavy blanket, tucking a stray curl behind my ear.

“Oh my god,” I whisper, rubbing my eyes. “I’m supposed to be at work. I was only here to do the twenty-four-hour check.”

“Then I’ll call that overeager woman you work with and tell her I have a lot of questions.”

I snort.

“Truly, I don’t know a bloody thing about cats. I may have to keep you here all day and night . . . forever, if you’ll let me.”

“I think that can be arranged,” I whisper. Truly, it’s all I want in this world.

Turning over my shoulder to look at him, I’m startled to see that his face is a heartbreaking mix of elated and hopeful, and his eyes have returned to that deep blue I love so much.

He pulls me closer, pressing a tender kiss to my temple. And for the first time since my parents died, I feel as though I’ve finally come home.