Page 60 of Spirit Trials (The Spirit Kingdoms #1)

I step inside quietly, hoping to avoid everybody. “How’d it go?” Lox asks, appearing suddenly. “Are you—” His words falter, and I can only imagine what he sees on my face. His face instantly changes. “What happened?”

“Congratulations!” Kinsley appears behind Lox with Harper right behind her. My mom and brother walk towards me as well, and I feel like I’m going to be sick.

“Farrah, you’re bleeding all over the floor!”

A hand appears at my elbow, and somebody leads me to the table. I sit and Lox kneels in front of me. “What happened? Where’s Rysden?” he demands.

Hector appears a moment later with bandages and his green tonic.

I notice Jamik hovers off to the side, looking worried.

I know I can at least put their fears at ease.

“Rysden’s okay. He left for the castle.” My words hold no emotion; I’m not sure if I’m even capable of it anymore. “The king’s dead.”

Silence falls heavy around the room. Hector kneels next to me. “Let me see your wound.” I pull up the side of my shirt, not even flinching when it pulls at the wound. He moves swiftly and treats the wound, but I barely notice.

“What happened?” Lox asks again, this time with more force.

“The king showed up at what was supposed to be our bonding ceremony. It...” Words fail me.

“The guards fought Rysden and I. Terron was killed.” There’s an audible gasp from someone in the room, but I don’t look up.

“And then,” I pause. “The queen was killed, thus ending the life of the king. Rysden proclaimed himself King, and the royal guards pledged their allegiance to him. And some guy named Brak is now the captain of the guard.” I lift my head, meeting Lox’s eyes.

“Is that good enough?” He doesn’t say a word, and I suddenly can’t stand being at the center of attention.

I stand up and without a word to anybody, make my way upstairs.

I start towards Rysden’s room but pause halfway there; I really don’t want to be in his room when he gets home.

I head to the spare room where Harper and Kinsley have been staying because as much as I love my mom, I don’t think I can be with her right now. She’ll see too much.

I close the door and just stand there a few minutes.

I need to shower and put clean clothes on, but I don’t think I can manage it.

I close my eyes tightly as visions from today run through my mind.

I hear Rysden’s guttural cry in my head, but I refuse to let the tears fall.

I don’t deserve it. I know I have no right to grieve her because I’m the one that took her life, but I still do.

My heart clenches so tightly, I wonder if I’m having a heart attack.

The door opens to my room softly, but I don’t turn to see who it is.

“Farrah,” Kinsley’s voice is so soft. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m the one that killed the queen.”

Silence falls, and I expect to see judgment on their faces. But when I look up, there’s only compassion on Kinsley’s face. Harper’s face is more guarded. “You killed her to kill the king?” Harper asks. I nod. “Then you did the right thing.”

“Yeah, but at what cost? I killed Rysden’s mom.” My voice is bleak, and neither of them answer. What is there to say?

“Enough commiserating. You did what you needed to. Rysden will either hate you or forgive you.”

Kinsley gasps. “Harper!”

“What? It’s the truth. There’s nothing she can do.” Harper puts her hands on my shoulders. “Now, go wash off all the blood and ick from today. You’ll feel better once you’re dressed in clean clothes.” I really don’t want to take a bath right now, but Harper pushes me forward anyway.

After I’m clean and dressed, I walk out of the bathing room and have to admit that Harper was right. I do feel a little bit better. Kinsley’s face brightens. “Feel better?”

“Yeah.”

“Good. Let’s go eat.”

We head downstairs and find Hector working on dinner.

I head over to him and start helping; it’s good to have something to do with my hands.

When it’s time to eat, I notice that Jamik and Lox are gone.

I don’t even ask where they’re at; it’s not too hard to piece together that they’re helping Rysden at the castle.

Dinner is a little quieter than usual, but Harper and Kinsley do their best to keep the conversation flowing.

My mom looks tired and excuses herself after dinner.

I help pick up and then head downstairs to blow off some steam.

When I’m worn out enough to maybe sleep tonight, I head back upstairs to the girls’ room.

To their credit, neither Harper nor Kinsley look surprised to see me in their room again. “How do you want to do sleeping arrangements?” Kinsley asks, looking at Harper and me.

“I’ll take the floor,” I say and grab a pillow from the bed.

“You don’t need to sleep on the floor,” Kinsley says.

“I want to.” I don’t give them any chance to fight me and settle on the thick fur on the floor. “Are you guys nervous about leaving with Kaldar?”

There’s a rustling, and suddenly Kinsley is almost in my face, hanging off the bed. “Kal what?”

“Kaldar, the Jaguar King.”

“How are you on a first name basis with him?” she asks, still hanging off the side.

“He’s friends with Rysden.”

She lifts herself back up onto the bed with a huff. “Of course, he is,” she mutters.

“He’s really nice. I think—” I start.

“You talked to him?” That’s from Kinsley again.

“What is your deal?” I can’t help but ask.

“Kinsley’s in love with the Jag King,” Harper calls out from the other side of the bed.

“I am not!” Kinsley sputters. “I’ve never even talked to him.”

“No, you’ve just ogled him from a distance,” Harper says dryly.

“I have not. I...okay, yeah. I totally have. But in my defense, have you seen the man?” I can’t help my laugh. But she’s not done. “He’s tall with muscles and broad shoulders and that hair? I just want to run my fingers through it.”

“Down girl,” Harper says with a laugh.

“Try not to attack him when he comes here to get you,” I add dryly.

“I’m not going to...wait. He’s coming here?”

“How else did you think you were going to get to his kingdom?” I ask still staring up at the ceiling.

“I thought he’d just send some people from his kingdom or something.”

“Nope,” I say, popping the p. “As far as I understand, he’s coming here to personally travel with you to his kingdom.”

“Uhhhhhhhhhh.”

My eyes widen at the long moan. “You good?”

“This is so bad,” Kinsley moans.

“You’ll be fine,” I assure her.

“Just don’t fall off your horse or something because you can’t stop looking at him,” Harper adds.

“We have to ride horses?” Kinsley shrieks.

That gets a laugh out of both Harper and me. We continue teasing Kinsley long into the night before finally settling and falling asleep. I fall asleep with a smile on my face, thankful to be able to forget about real life for a little bit and just laugh.

I’m awoken sometime later when somebody shakes my shoulder. I open my eyes and take in the dark form leaning over me. “Rysden?” I whisper, coming immediately awake. “What’s wrong? Did something happen?”

“Yes.”

I sit up. “What?” My heart’s thundering in my chest. So much has happened. What could it be now?’

“I came to bed, and you weren’t there.” His voice is low and soft. I blink and try to take in what he’s saying. “Is there a reason you’re not in our bed?”

Our .

I think I forget how to breathe. “I didn’t think you’d want me there.”

He stares down at me. It seems like a million emotions flash through his eyes in a moment. But he settles on, “I do.”

He puts out his hand to me, and I reach for it without thinking.

He pulls me to my feet and doesn’t release my hand as we slip out of the girls’ room.

He leads me down the hallway to his room and closes the door softly behind us.

He drops my hand, and I stand there uncertain a moment.

But he doesn’t keep me waiting. He palms the back of my neck.

“I’m sorry I left the way I did. I was overwhelmed and not thinking straight. ”

I stare up at him. He’s apologizing? To me?

“ No, Rysden, please don’t apologize. This is all on me.

” I look right into his eyes. “I am so sorry.” And then I take a deep breath.

“I killed your mom.” I put the truth out there, though I’m pretty sure he already knows.

But I can’t have this between us. He needs to know the truth.

I wait for the hate to appear in his eyes, but it doesn’t come.

There’s a deep sadness but also a steadiness.

“I know. She told me she asked you to.”

I suck in a breath. “What?” My word is barely a whisper.

His hand tightens a moment on my neck, and I know he’s remembering.

“When I laid her down, she grabbed my hand and told me that she asked you to. She said she knew I’d never be able to.

” My breath stalls in my chest while I wait for him to say what he’s going to say.

He swallows hard. “She told me,” he pauses.

His hand flexes on my neck again. “She said to tell you thank you.” His eyes tear up, and I don’t know if my heart can take this.

He bends so that we are eye to eye. “Thank you.” The words are barely a whisper.

“You ended her suffering, something I should have done a long time ago.”

“No, Rysden. You couldn’t. She’s your mother.”

A tear drips from the corner of his eyes. “She was a good one.” And my heart cracks open. I pull him close and wrap him in a hug as tightly as I can.

“I’m so sorry.” I can barely speak around the emotion in my throat.

After a little bit, he changes for bed, and I settle in for the night.

Neither of us say anything for a while. He wraps his arms around me and holds me close.

My heart feels like a weight is off it. I’m still so sad for him, but the fact that he doesn’t hate me is a gift.

“You’re going to make an amazing king,” I finally say, breaking the silence.

“You think so?”

I roll towards him and study his gorgeous face in the light of the fire. “I don’t think so. I know so.”

He pulls my hand to his mouth and kisses it. “I want to be a good king.” He reaches out and tucks my hair behind my ear. “I've already signed the order to bring the banished back.” My heart nearly stalls in my chest.

“Rysden,” I breathe. “Thank you.”

“It’s the right thing to do.”

“That’s amazing. Kinsley will be sad, though.”

“Kinsley?”

“Yeah. She will be sad that Kaldar won’t be taking them to his kingdom.” He frowns, but I pat his chest. “Don’t worry about it tonight. That’s amazing.”

I settle against him, finally feeling tired. Just before I drift off to sleep, Rysden kisses my temple. “I only wish we could have had Terron bind us before he passed away.”

“He told me before he died,” a yawn overtakes me. “That the wolves would know how to do it.”

Rysden goes still behind me. “Really?” I nod and start drifting off again, but Rysden starts chuckling. That wakes me right up, and I roll over and stare at him.

“What’s wrong?”

He shakes his head, his eyes finding mine in the dark. “Shade said we’re already bound.”

“What?”

“I guess because we’re both bonded to wolves that are mates, as soon as they bonded, you and I were bound as well.”

I stare at him. “What if we didn’t want to be?” He arches a brow. “Hypothetically speaking.”

Rysden shrugs. “I don’t know. I’m guessing that’s something the Creator took into account when making us soul mates. You’re not rethinking this, right, Baby?”

“No. Are you?”

“Never. You’re mine, Farrah. I love every part of you and always will.”

“So, our souls are bonded?”

“For eternity,” he says confidently. “Now, get some sleep.” He kisses me again, and I settle against him.

“So,” I can’t help but add. “If we’re bonded, then we’re practically married, right?”

“Right.” A devious grin forms on my face, and his eyes narrow. “What are you thinking?”

“Nothing,” I say innocently. I lean forward and kiss him softly.

When he responds, I deepen the kiss. He groans low in his chest and pulls me closer.

His tongue tangles with mine, and I lose myself in him.

Finally, I remember what it is I was trying to do.

I manage to pull back. “You look tired, Rysden. You should sleep.”

“I am most definitely not tired now.”

I roll towards him. “Well, then maybe we can do something else.” I cock my head to the side. “Just until you get tired, you know?”

He growls and pulls me so that I land on top of his chest. He kisses me again and again and pulls my hair free of its braid so that it falls around us. “You’re my everything, Farrah,” he breathes in between kisses.

“Prove it,” I challenge him.

He chuckles darkly. “My Wildheart.” And then he shows me just how much he loves me.

When I wake up the next morning in the arms of my mate, I smile as the sun hits my face.

Rysden is King now. Change is coming to the Wolf Kingdom, and all of it is good.

So good . My mom and brother are going to live with us, and Kinsley and Harper can stay here and make their homes here.

Solace and Shade are going to have pups.

There is so much to look forward to. Life as Queen is going to take some getting used to, but with Rysden at my side, I can only smile at the future.

Somebody screams, and I freeze. Rysden’s shocked eyes meet mine. For just a moment, we stare at each other before we throw back the covers and run for the bedroom door.