Page 53 of Spirit Trials (The Spirit Kingdoms #1)

Weariness suddenly filters through every single bone in my body, and I see that same weariness in Rysden. “What about the rest of the injured?” I ask Rysden.

“The healers will stay here tonight and continue to make the rounds.” Rysden checks in with the healers one last time before we make our way outside.

“You okay to ride with me?” I nod, and we head over to the stable.

He boosts me up. With my dress in the shape it’s in, I have no problem throwing my leg over and settling in the saddle.

Rysden joins me a moment later. I lean forward to accommodate him, but he wraps an arm around my belly and pulls me close.

It's a quiet ride home. I wait for him to care for his horse, and then we head towards the front door. Shade and Solace leave our sides and walk behind the stables. You’re not sleeping inside tonight? I send to Solace.

No.

I don’t ask her anything more. It’s quiet when we get inside, obviously, because it’s nearly dawn.

I stop at the base of the stairs and wonder if I have enough strength to climb them.

“Want me to carry you up?” Rysden asks. I can hear the exhaustion in his voice, so I dig deep and start up the steps.

When we get to my room, I put my hand on his arm, stopping him before he walks away.

“Can I sleep with you tonight? Just to sleep.” I look into his eyes.

“I don’t want to be alone tonight. I thought Solace would be in here with me, but—” To his credit, Rysden doesn’t hesitate a moment.

He wraps his arm around my back and guides me to his room.

I wonder at the wisdom of my request when we step into his room, but I was being truthful.

I really don’t want to be by myself in my room tonight.

I’m afraid the images and memories of tonight will plague me, and I won’t be able to sleep.

“Here, you can sleep in this if you want.” He hands me a soft black shirt and nods towards his bathing room.

I disappear into it a moment later and glance in the mirror and mourn the loss of what used to be a beautiful dress.

It’s in tatters now and completely destroyed.

I undo the zipper and let it fall to the ground.

I bathe as quickly as possible, scrubbing the blood and grime from my body.

I bundle up my dress and throw it away before heading back into Rysden’s room.

There’s a low fire burning now, taking away the chill in the room.

Rysden stops in front of me. “Sleep on whichever side you want; I won’t be long.

” With those ominous words, he walks into the bathing room, leaving me alone in his room.

I walk over to the bed and simply choose the closest side; I don’t think I could even get to the other side if I wanted to.

I pull a fur over me and groan softly. Every single muscle in my body aches.

I check the wrap on my arm to make sure it’s covered, so I don’t get blood on Rysden’s bed.

I roll onto my back and get comfortable, expecting to go right to sleep.

But as exhausted as my body is, my mind won’t turn off.

It keeps replaying the awful events of tonight over and over and over again.

The bed moves as Rysden climbs in. I stay quiet, because I know how tired he is. A few minutes later, he puts a hand on my stomach. “Can’t sleep?”

“I can’t get my mind to turn off,” I tell him honestly.

“I get that.”

It’s quiet between the two of us, and I wonder if he’s already drifted off. But when I listen, his breathing doesn’t sound deep and even. “It shouldn’t have happened.”

“The attack?”

I pause. “Well, that too; but I meant Lox. He shouldn’t have died. It’s my fault he’s dead.”

Rysden shifts in the bed. Suddenly, strong arms pull me over to his side of the bed. “Don’t play that game,” he says in a soft voice. “It will only tear you apart.” I wonder if he’s speaking from experience.

“He tried to save me.” I can barely get out the words.

“Well, the fact that you’re here in my arms means he was successful; and I will be eternally grateful he did. Lox does what he wants to do, always has. He knew what he was doing. He was protecting you when I couldn’t.”

“And now, he’s dead because of it.” I can’t help the bitterness in my words.

Rysden leans forward and kisses my forehead softly. “If it wasn’t you, it would have been somebody else. That’s just Lox. He’s dramatic—wanted to always have the last say. His spirit will probably torment us and never let us forget that he died saving you.”

I can’t help but smile at his words. “Yeah, probably. What happened to you before the attack?”

He makes a sound low in his chest. “A guard led me to a room far away from the ball room. There were black clansmen waiting for me. I had to fight my way out of the room to get back to you. I’m sorry I didn’t get there sooner.”

“You got there when it counted.”

Rysden shifts and pulls me closer to him, shifting us so my back is against his chest. “Sleep now. I’ve got you; you’re safe.”

“You need to sleep too.” A massive yawn escapes.

“Sleep, Farrah,” Rysden says in his low voice. As if he commanded it to be so, my eyes close and I finally sleep.

The door crashes into the wall, startling me awake. “Farrah’s gone! She—” The voice abruptly cuts off, and I try to still my thundering heart.

I push up on one elbow. “Kinsley, what in the world?”

Her wide eyes bounce back and forth between the two of us. “I’m so sorry. I did not see that coming.”

“How could you not see it coming?” I hear Harper’s voice but don’t see her. “Every time he looks at her, he looks like he wants to rip all her clothes off.”

“Harper,” I croak in a hoarse voice as my cheeks flame.

Kinsley closes her eyes and shakes her head before meeting my eyes. Sorry, she mouths before quietly closing the door. I blow out a breath and drop back onto the bed.

“She’s not wrong,” Rysden says in a low voice.

I turn towards him, wholly unprepared for the sight of him like this.

My eyes run over his bare muscular torso with black swirls and markings.

“About what?” I ask, totally losing my train of thought.

When he doesn’t say anything, my eyes snap to his.

He's staring at me, with that intensity I’ve begun to crave.

“Like what you see?” he asks, a smirk at the corner of his lips.

I scowl at him and throw back the blankets, intent on getting out of bed and getting ready for the day.

“Wait,” he says, lunging for my wrist. I stand on the side of the bed and stare down at him.

He's holding my wrist, but it’s not tight. I could get out of it if I wanted.

I lift my chin and meet his gaze head-on. “Yes.”

It takes him a moment, and then his eyes heat. He's out of bed and stalking towards me before I even realize what’s happening. He’s in front of me a moment later. “We got interrupted last night.”

My thoughts threaten to go back to the atrocities of last night, but I fight to stay present. I stare up at him, into those gorgeous dark eyes. “We did.”

“I think we should carry on that conversation we were having.” His voice is low and sexy.

I smirk. “I don’t think we were doing much talking.”

He cocks an eyebrow, looking awfully smug. “What were we doing then?”

I take a step back. “If you can’t seem to remember, then—”

“I remember everything,” he says in a growl, tugging me close and meeting my lips with his.

I sigh and sag against him as everything fades away but he and I in this perfect moment together.

He deepens the kiss, and I moan against his mouth.

He pulls away, leaving not a breath of space between us.

“My sole purpose in life now is to draw these sounds from you.” His voice is so low, his chest vibrates.

I don’t get a chance to respond before his lips find mine again, and I can’t get enough of him.

I reach my hands up to the back of his head and run my fingers through his hair, earning a low growl from him.

He demands entrance to my mouth, and I let him in.

He pushes me back, so that my back is against the wall, leaving his hands free.

A knock on the door makes us both stop. He pulls away slowly, bracing his hands against the wall on either side of my head.

“Um, sorry to interrupt but there are guards from the castle at the front door,” Kinsley calls out through the door.

Instant guilt floods me, and I put my hands on Rysden’s chest to push him away. “Don’t do that,” he says softly. When I meet his eyes, his are locked on mine. “We’re not going to feel guilty because we have each other.”

“But all those people that died—” I can’t say anything else; the words get stuck.

“Exactly.” His words are stern. “We didn’t, and we’re going to celebrate their memories by living our lives to the fullest. We will celebrate every moment we have together, because we’re not guaranteed tomorrow.”

“But Lox—” I grit my teeth and blink against the tears threatening.

His hands come up to cradle my face. “Was my very best friend until you came along, and he was happy to take second place. He gave me the greatest gift...you. He saved your life for me, and I am going to honor that sacrifice by never taking you for granted.” I’m shocked to see that his eyes appear moist. Suddenly, the wall of emotion I’ve been holding back releases.

The tears start, and they just won’t stop.

He wipes at the first few, but then they come faster and faster until a sob rips through my chest. He pulls me tightly against his chest, wrapping a large hand against the back of my head.

“I know, Sweetheart. I know.” I know that the guards from the castle are waiting, but I just can’t seem to stop.

I don’t know how long I cry against Rysden’s chest, but finally, my tears slow to a stop.

Rysden continues to hold me long after I stop.

I pull back slightly, and he drops his hand from the back of my head.

I look up into his eyes and see the concern there.

Something unlocks inside of me and wraps itself around me, and I realize I would kill for this man right here.

I would do anything to keep him alive and at my side.

A fierceness rises up in me at the same time shock does.

My eyes widen, and his eyes narrow. “What’s wrong? ”

I swallow. Hard. I recognize this fierceness; it’s the same fierce loyalty I have for my mom, my brother, Harper and Kinsley. It's... love. The ground seems to rock under my feet.

“Farrah, what is it?” There’s concern in his gaze but also danger, like he’s looking for the threat and is ready to eliminate it.

I stare up at him as a slow smile spreads across my face. I reach up and put my hand along his strong jaw. “I just realized something, Rysden.” He goes still beneath my fingers, and his eyes search mine.

“What?” It’s barely a whisper.

I don’t look away from that intense gaze as I say three simple words that will change everything between us. “I love you.”