Page 35 of Spellbound & Speechless (Witches of Starbrook #2)
Mac
It’s not my fault. It’s not my fault .
I’m not a child anymore, and I don’t blame myself for my father’s death, just like I don’t blame my mother.
It’s not my fault Juniper was hurt, either.
If the roles were reversed, there’s a chance I would have said the same shitty things.
Ozan has been nothing but nice to me. There’s no reason to think he meant what he said, but…
It still fucking hurts, and I’m licking my emotional wounds as I run away. Before long, I know Aspen is following, but I don’t know if I want her to. I’m fucked up. I need her, but she shouldn’t see me like this—a pathetic, whining puppy.
That’s how I feel when she finds me. This time, Aspen doesn’t show any fear of my wolf. Her fingers dig into my fur as she leans down, pressing her face to my neck.
“You’re all right,” she murmurs. “I’m here now.”
I let out a low, rumbling whine.
“I know, darling. I know. Don’t listen to that stubborn man—this was not your fault. He was upset. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about.” She stands and walks ahead, her dress dragging in the grass. “Come. I have something I’ve been meaning to show you.”
I tilt my head to the side.
Aspen has already shown me so much, including a spot she claimed was her favorite. What else could she have to show me in these woods? I let her lead me; my paws pad against the ground.
I should have brought a change of clothes. I want to shift back into my human form, to talk to her, but I can’t without being ass naked—and there’s still a chance someone else will see me like that. No thanks.
It’s way too embarrassing. It would be even more uncomfortable than another man yelling at me on my wedding day.
Aspen leads me to a fort in the middle of the woods. It’s well-built and sturdy, but it’s not an actual home.
She enters the tiny space. “Come on in.”
It’s too small for my wolf. I transform back into my human self and crawl inside, ignoring the embarrassment of sharing my naked body with her at a time like this.
She’s already seen it, but it feels too intimate considering my current state. It’s cold, too. Worrying about shrinkage right now feels ridiculous.
“What is this?” I ask, kneeling.
Aspen looks through the little cupboards and smiles to herself. “Good. Everything is still here.” She brings out a few blankets and lays them out on the floor. “This was our clubhouse when we were young. Then, when we got older, it was my hiding place.”
“From what?”
“From the overwhelm that comes with being part of the Hawthorne family. You experienced that today. I guess it’s official—you’re one of us. ”
“Huh.” I cover my junk with both hands. “I guess I didn’t realize what I was signing up for.”
“That’s probably my fault. I spent a long time hiding from my family, and there’s a reason for that.
” She moves closer until her knees press against mine.
“I’ve always loved them, but for a long time, being a part of something so big felt…
messy. It always is when there are multiple people involved. ”
“Do you still feel that way?”
“No.” She smiles sadly. “These last few weeks taught me it’s worth it, even when it’s all a mess. It will get messy, too—it always does—but I want to be part of my family again and… I think I am. That won’t always be easy; sometimes we’ll have to hide away.”
I look out the window, nodding. “Maybe I can build us another cabin out here.” My gaze flickers back to hers. “A real one, just for us. What do you think?”
She tilts her head to the side, giving me the sweetest smile. “Do you know how to do that?”
I lift a shoulder. “I can figure it out.”
“I think…” She wraps her arms around my neck, holding me close. My racing heart finally slows. “That’s the perfect idea. Do you want to tell me how you feel before we keep getting distracted?”
“Uh…” I chuckle. “Like shit, and like I can’t return the suit to the boutique. So much for saving money by renting…”
“Stop. Forget the rental. You know it’s not your fault.”
“I know.” He shakes his head. “But there’s something I don’t know. I don’t know if I can keep you safe, Aspen, and I don’t know if I can keep your family safe. I want to. I want to so damn badly . They’re my family now, too. ”
“They are your family, but you can’t protect everyone. You’re only one person.”
“Fuck.”
“I know. That’s the bad news.” She presses her forehead against mine. “No matter how strong and smart you are, no single person can protect everyone—but I will protect you . We can protect each other. I think that’s the most we can do.”
That doesn’t feel so easy to acknowledge. If it were, I would have accepted losing my father a long time ago.
I press my lips together, wrestling with my conflicted feelings. “Yeah. I guess you’re right.”
“I am right. It’s not your fault. Nothing is. You’re the reason we’re alive. We didn’t know how to deal with this before we found you.”
“And we still don’t. I only know how to track the corrupt witches. I don’t know what to do once we find them.”
“We’ll discover that part together.”
If she has the same fears, it doesn’t show. Aspen’s presence is perfectly calm, even through the mating bond. We can’t hide anything from each other. She presses soft kisses to my eyelids, my nose, and down the side of my face.
“She seems awfully interested in your magic…” I frown. “I don’t like it.”
“Oh, but it’s a good thing.” She kisses my neck. “It’s because she knows love is the strongest energy of all. And we have plenty of that, don’t we?”
“I guess we do.” Finally, I crack a smile. “She ruined our night. I’m sorry. We can still go to the hotel.”
She pulls away and shakes her head. “No, no. Let’s spend the night right here. It can still be just the two of us.”
“You won’t be cold? ”
“With you? I could never be cold. And besides.” She snaps her fingers, sending warm energy around the tiny space. “I am a witch, you know.”
“I guess there are perks to the whole witch thing.” I lie on the blankets and pull her to my chest. “Come here.”
Even though it’s not the overpriced room I booked, and there’s no soft bed, being with her alone makes this the best part of the day. My fears still follow us around like ghosts. We’re hiding in the little cottage, but it doesn’t have the same wards the sisters put around the house.
I’m the only one who can keep her safe here, and I have to hope it’s enough. If not, the magic that protected us earlier should be. What the hell was that? More witch magic, probably.
“I love you.” She rests her head on my chest, pressing her cheek to my bare skin.
“I love you, too.”
If I’m not strong enough to save her, our love is.
“When she attacked,” I say, “what happened? What was that? I’ve never seen anything like it.”
“It’s like I told you. The goddess is protecting our love. We’re stronger together.”
“Good.” I hold her tighter.
The reassurance chases away my worries that I’m dooming her by accepting our bond. It’s not perfect, but us being bonded can keep her safer. I’m counting on that.
“Let’s stop worrying about her—or any of that.” She runs her fingers through my hair. “Tonight is about us. Let’s be together.”
“Thank gods we did the ceremony beforehand. No one can taint that night. They can’t take it from us.”
“Oh, but this is a wonderful night as well. I got to meet your mother. ”
I groan. “Don’t remind me. She’ll have some thoughts about the corrupt witch attack, I’m sure.”
“And we’ll listen to those thoughts together.”
I chuckle, running my fingers through her soft, golden locks. “I have to admit, after growing up as an only child, having someone to help with my mother sounds useful.”
“I’m glad I can be of use.”
“You’re more than that.”
“Oh, trust me. I know.” She kisses my chest. “If the night weren’t so somber, I would remind you how many uses I have. But for tonight, I think we should cuddle.”
“Hm…” I close my eyes, letting the warmth of the tiny room envelop me, grounding me. For a moment, we can pretend everything is fine—that nothing is trying to get in the way of our love. “I can get on board with that.”
Even if something or someone is trying to get between us, it doesn’t matter. I won’t let it happen. We’re a team now, and we will be for as long as she wants me around.