Page 17 of Spellbound & Speechless (Witches of Starbrook #2)

Aspen

I jolt awake. Blue eyes ogle me from above, framed by straight auburn bangs. What ended as a quiet night with Mac is already off to a strange start. Was it all a dream, or did I fall asleep in his arms?

Rowan hovers above me, waving a talisman over my head.

“Rowan!” I pull my blanket up to my chest.

“Sorry. I thought you were sleeping.”

“I am ! That’s why you shouldn’t be here.” I exhale slowly and rub my eyes. “Do I want to know what you’re doing?”

She steps over me as if I’m in her way and taps the metal talisman against the wall above me. “Strengthening the wards.”

“Must you do it now ?”

“Yes.” She fixes me with an unamused stare. “An important transit just started. I only have an hour to take care of this.”

I don’t bother asking what transit, and Rowan knows better than to tell me. Astrology has always confused me .

It seems I won’t be able to continue sleeping, no matter how much I would like to. I shuffle out of bed and shake my head, ambling to the closet.

“Will this keep the corrupt witch out?” I pluck a pink dress from a hanger.

“There’s no saying, but it should help.”

“Good. Then I won’t whine about you ruining my beauty rest.”

Rowan hops from the bed and shuffles out of the room unceremoniously. I follow behind, draping my dress over my arm.

“You know…” Rowan says. “The transits are a bit of a mess right now, but there is some good news.”

“Oh?” I lift a brow.

“Mhm. It’s a good time for love—for you specifically.”

I snort. “Funny. It sure doesn’t feel like it, considering that I have a roommate. Not the best time for love.”

“Venus is in your fifth house.”

“I don’t know what that means.”

“Right.” Rowan gives me a knowing look and lifts a brow. “I’m sure you don’t. I’m sure you’ve had no… lovely experiences lately.”

I may not know anything about astrology, but I understand the meaning behind her look. Rowan knows everything .

My smile drops, and I turn in the opposite direction. “Just finish up with the wards, will you?”

Me? Not wanting to talk about love? It’s unheard of.

But my love life is currently non-existent. I may have my eye on someone, but he does not have his eye on me. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have to wake up alone.

It’s another slow night at the Moonlit Tavern, but I don’t mind. That just means I get to work on my designs. It’s loud where I stand by the bar, and this may not be the best place to do it, but the vision is chasing me.

The gown is white, with pearls and tulle, and… that’s all I can see. Everything I sketch, no matter how beautiful, isn’t the image in my mind.

I let out a huff and flip the page.

“You struggling?”

I look up from the sketchbook and glare, recognizing the annoying, deep, rugged voice. Mac has hardly spoken to me since helping me with my nightmare, and I’m still unsure it happened at all. I can’t believe I tried to kiss him… and I can’t believe he rejected me.

“Does it look like I’m struggling?” I snap.

His lips twitch. “Just a little.”

“Fine.” I flip the book shut, hiding the design. It’s not ready for someone else’s eyes, especially not his . “Maybe I am.”

Mac has been confusing me since we met. Is he nice? Is he mean? Are we friends? Or are we… not? Is there any chance we can be something more? Probably not, but after he spent a night holding me in his warm, muscular arms—good luck telling my body that!

Seeing him now sends my pulse racing, blood rushing to my cheeks, my pupils dilating in the dim-lit bar. It’s so typical. I’m not a fool—I’m a love witch. I know what intense attraction feels like. This is it, even if I don’t want it to be.

Oh, why can’t I want anyone else? I may know everyone in town, but that means I know there are plenty of attractive people! There’s our neighbor, Seth, though he’s always been friendlier with Laurel and Rowan.

But Seth… he has a cousin! She’s hot. Why can’t it be her, or anyone else, who makes my heart race?

Of course, it has to be Mac. I hate him. I need him. This is bad. So, so bad.

“You seem like you don’t want to be here tonight,” Mac says, snapping me out of my thoughts.

“Hm?”

“At the bar.” He gestures. “Your head isn’t in the game.”

“Oh…” I look around. “Well. When is it ever?”

“C’mon. You’re not usually this bad. Is the sketch that distracting?”

He really doesn’t get it, does he? The sketch isn’t distracting me… he is. How am I supposed to work under these conditions?

“No. It’s just… quiet tonight.” I lift a shoulder. “Besides, I made good tips on Saturday. I’m not worried about money right now.”

He clicks his tongue. “That shows a terrible work ethic. I’m telling the boss.”

“Hey!” I frown. “I have a fantastic work ethic. You don’t know how hard I usually work. Just not here.”

“Why not? It’s your sister’s place. You’d think you would have more passion for it.”

“Why should I? It’s her passion, not mine. I don’t even want to work here.”

“Then why are you here?”

He poses the question as if it’s simple, but I don’t have an answer. Blank. My thoughts are blank.

“Well… Juniper won’t let me leave, and I don’t know what else to do with my life!” There’s no reason to talk to Ma c about this, but I fight back an urge to tell him everything. “I was living in New York before this, you know.”

He nods, clearly waiting for me to say more.

“I had a real job there.” I tilt my head to the side. “Okay, ‘real job’ isn’t the right way to put it. That was an internship, and this is a real job—but you know what I mean. I was doing something I loved. I had purpose and passion.”

“An art job?”

“No. Well… sort of.” I shake my head. “ Fashion . I was on my way to becoming a designer.”

“I see. And you can’t, uh… do fashion here?”

Mac probably knows as much about fashion as I know about astrology—one glance at his dirty work boots tells me that—but he’s humoring me. It’s almost sweet.

“How can I?” I move down the bar and pour two shots of liquor. “Like, I know I don’t have to take the straight path I was on before, and maybe that wasn’t the right path for me, but...”

“But you don’t know which path to take?”

I slide a shot glass across the bar and slam back the other one. “Right. I don’t even know where I’m going. Like, I want to get back into it, but how?”

He smiles a rare smile, a small one, mostly in his eyes. The second shot goes untouched. “I wish I could help you, but I don’t know anything about it.”

“It would be easier to find another job with a designer.” My shoulders slump. “But I don’t want to be controlled again. My last job was stifling.”

“I can only imagine.” He squints at my closed notebook. “You seem like the creative type. You should do your own thing.”

“Maybe…” It’s a daunting thought. “I have been thinking about making my own designs—opening a boutique or selling them online—but I don’t know where to start. Like, that would be a completely different path.”

Considering how my last job ended, I’ll never get another gig in the fashion industry. I’m not sure how to feel about that. It’s not as if I want to leave town again—not yet. Maybe never. I’m falling in love with Starbrook and connecting with my sisters for the first time in years.

I may be lost, but in many ways, I’m happier than I was. I can only admit it in the confines of my little mind.

“I think the sketch is a good place to start.” He picks up the shot glass between two fingers and drinks. “It’s bigger than anything I’m doing for my art.”

“Your time will come.” I smile. “I would like to see your work sometime, now that you’ve been sneaking glances at mine.”

“I haven’t been sneaking?—”

“You have.”

“All right. Let’s make a deal.” He leans in like we have a secret. “If you finish that sketch and show it to me, I’ll show you some of my old work.”

“Deal.”

Gods. He’s being so nice to me now. Maybe it’s from seeing me at my lowest, but that only makes me feel more pathetic.

I turn away and dry off a glass. “I’m sorry about last night,” I say, just loud enough for him to hear. “For almost… you know.”

Almost kissing him. It has to be near the top of the list of the most embarrassing things I’ve done. I look up at the ceiling.

“Don’t apologize.” He clears his throat. “You were looking for comfort. That’s all. I’m sorry I couldn’t do more to help. ”

Help . That’s all the night before was to him, and it’s all he’ll let it be. Something behind his firm look says that, and I don’t dare disagree, even if it was more for me. Under the twinkling of the stars and the quiet of the night, I was attracted to him—I still am.

“I’m not sure why I went to you for comfort in the first place.” I offer a teasing smile, hoping to lighten the mood.

He rolls his eyes. “I have no fucking clue, honestly.”

“I won’t make that mistake again.” Even though we’re laughing, a raincloud hovers over my head.

There’s a reason I wanted Mac to comfort me, and it’s more than him being the only one around. My heart is searching for him. It won’t stop, no matter how many times he pushes me away.

Juniper stands behind the bar, hard at work even though we should all be going home. The last time I saw her working this hard was back in high school. She was always the overachiever, in ways no one but Rowan could replicate.

“It’s nice to see you doing something you’re passionate about.” I smile slyly. “It almost makes me jealous.”

She shoots me a flat look. “There’s nothing to be jealous of. You don’t know how much I was suffering before.”

Of course, I don’t. There were hints in the group chat that could have told me what she was going through. Back then, I couldn’t see how much my perfect older sister was struggling.

“Tell me about it.” I sit at the bar. “I want to understand. ”

There’s nothing I can do to fix the past, but I can make up for it now, I hope. Juniper seems open to forgiving me.

“Well… I lost my job. You know that.”

I nod.

“But when I tried to reopen Mom’s shop, it felt like everything was going wrong.” She chuckles. “It’s like I was cursed. The heating broke, our customers were nonexistent, and the new apothecary was thriving while I was drowning.”

“That does sound stressful.”

“It was more than that.” Her eyes meet mine, and she pauses, holding the potion bottle steady. “I realized I didn’t love it. Not like Mom did.”

I inhale through my teeth. “Yeah. I understand that.”

“You know what? I think you do, more than anyone—even our sisters. It’s strange for us. We grow up seeing the person we admire live such a passionate life...”

“Then we try to repeat it, but it goes wrong.”

“The part we’re missing”—she leans closer like she’s about to tell me a secret—“is that everyone struggles when they start something they love. Even the people who are doing what they’re supposed to do. We can’t let those struggles get in the way.”

“Like our struggles right now? With the corrupt witch?”

She nods and leans back. “I could have taken that as another bad sign, but I’m not. This bar is my purpose, and I will do anything to make it successful.”

I look away and pick up a rag, drying off an already dry glass. “It’s not my purpose. You know that, right?”

“Of course.”

“I feel bad. You, Maple, Laurel, even Rowan! You’re so connected to this place. You all have a shared purpose, and I’m just… separate. But I don’t want to separate myself again. Not like last time.”

“You don’t have to, and that’s not what I want. I missed you. We all missed you.”

I look down at the glass in my hand. Mist forms over my eyes. “I thought being back with all of you would hurt more, that it would make me miss Mom, but it’s doing the opposite. It feels right to be here.”

“Aspen…”

“I’m not going anywhere.” I meet her gaze with a fierce look. “I mean it. I may branch off and start something new, but I’m a part of us again. We’re stronger together.”

“We are.”

“And you know what?”

She shakes her head. “No. What?”

“Mom wasn’t the person I admire most. You are.” I smile softly. “She can be a close second.”

We’re quiet for a moment, and I understand why. There’s weight behind my words. There should be—I put it there.

Juniper chuckles. “Sucking up won’t get you a raise.”

I grin. “That’s too bad.”

“Go home.” She waves a hand. “Sleep. I have some brewing to do.”

“You don’t need my help?”

“Not tonight. Get out of here.”