Page 40

Alex

“How do you know how to make that?” Dallas asks as I set down the plate of sushi rolls—tuna maki and yellowtail scallion.

I take a seat adjacent to her at the table and hand her a set of chopsticks as she eyes the rolls hungrily.

“Part of my job as Ponyboy Curtis,” I reply, which elicits a smile from her. “But really, it was the Raffertys’ chef, Jocelyn. Aiden’s actually a better cook than I am.”

Dallas pops a piece of yellowtail in her mouth, but then stops mid-chew, knitting her brow with confusion.

“She was there every day when his dad was home, which wasn’t much,” I explain. “But when he was travelling, she’d come on Sundays and prep food for the entire week so the kitchen was fully stocked. And she made Aiden help. His favorite food is sushi, so she’d swing by the airport on her way to his house and pick up a crate of seafood flown in fresh from Japan.”

“ Swing by the airport, ” Dallas deadpans.

I still forget, there’s a lot about Aiden and his family that Dallas doesn’t know.

She swallows and then takes a sip of water. “I know I’ve only spent a couple of hours with you tonight, but you’re different now.”

“How?” I ask, pinching one of the tuna makis between the tips of my chopsticks.

“You’re much more—” she eyes me over the table, “intense. You don’t smile as much as you used to.”

“I don’t?” Seems I’ve heard this exact observation somewhere before.

“When’s the last time you had a good laugh?”

“I’ll laugh with you, even if your jokes suck.”

“My jokes never sucked!” she retorts. “You always liked them back then.”

“You still have a lot of jokes now, making me think you bolted as soon as I answered the phone.”

She can’t contain herself now, giggling so much that she nearly loses a piece of sushi.

“You were freaking out,” she sighs. “Who were you talking to, anyway?”

“I have to be straight with you, Dal.” I take a deep breath, my tone turning serious again. “I was talking to another woman.”

She should be good at recognizing my bullshit by now, but there’s still a tiny shred of her that prepares for the worst.

“ Mí abuelita.”

“What?” She scrunches up her face. “Your grandmother? ”

At least she still knows a few words. But I can’t even keep a straight face while explaining it.

“My entire family finally convinced her to move up here to be closer to us. At first, she refused, but we finally wore her down. Adrian’s even renovating a house for her in Dire Ridge. She finally agreed, but then told him that she would only move here if she could get ahold of us when she needed to. It was code for, Alex better be stateside by the time I get there. I’ve been waiting for her to call since I got back, so when I saw that it was her, I had to take it, no matter what, or she’d think I was lying. And that’s not to mention my aunts calling me and leaving threatening messages if I don’t pick up.”

Dallas’s face softens. “That’s actually really sweet. I can tell you love her very much.” Then she grins. “And I guess you weren’t lying about having a huge family.”

“I told you there’s a lot of them. They talk a lot, and all at once, ” I whisper with a flash of my eyes.

“How did you die?” she asks, slowly pinching another yellowtail in her chopsticks.

It sounds strange for someone to ask, especially her. But I’ll tell her anything she wants to know.

“A mission went off the rails and, to make a long story short, I tried to jump a fence and didn’t realize it had as much electricity running through it as the substation nearby.”

Her eyes go wide. “You were electrocuted?”

I nod, set down my chopsticks, and then raise both my hands to show her my scars. They’ve faded a lot since then, and besides, how often do you really look at someone else’s hands? My palms where I grabbed the fence are the worst, covered with dark scar tissue that serves as a reminder if I squeeze something too tightly.

“Do you have any side effects?”

“Yeah, actually. But I didn’t even realize it until I moved into this apartment. Want to see?”

Dallas nods with intrigue as I rise from my chair.

“Give me your hand.”

She reaches up and clasps my hand, watching intently as I furrow my brow and study the black metal light fixture suspended above the table. I give my free hand a quick shake and then, slowly, reach up to the lightbulb closest to me.

“ RRRGGGHHH! ” I let out a guttural howl, squeezing Dallas’s hand while my entire body goes rigid and I start shaking uncontrollably.

Dallas lets out an ear-splitting scream and leaps from her chair. She tries to pull her hand away, but she’s caught in my iron grip. A few seconds later, my screams descend into hysterical laughter and I relax my muscles, letting go of the lightbulb.

Dallas stares up at me, her eyes bugged out as she catches her breath. Soon, the look of terror is replaced with a loathsome scowl.

“Alex fucking Barrera! ” she screeches, smacking me across the bicep.

“See, Dal?” I creak out. “I still laugh!”

She casts me an irritated look and plops back down in her seat.

“Seriously, though,” I chuckle, “I have muscle spasms that really harsh my vibe, but I’ve otherwise recovered well.” I take my seat again to give her a real answer. “The mental toll has been the worst—flashbacks, things like that. And a lot of resentment.” As soon as I say it, the heaviness of it all begins to descend, “Do you know what happened to my brother, Luca?”

“No,” she replies with a shake of her head.

“He used to be one of my favorite people, but then something happened after our dad died. I thought he just couldn’t cope, but then he finally lost it. After a while, none of us recognized him. I told Adrian he was going to end up in prison or dead, and I was right about both.”

“What do you mean?”

“Luca did go to prison, but while he was there, they discovered he had a massive brain tumor that basically made him criminally insane. He got it removed, but if no one had bothered to check, he probably would’ve died. Adrian was there for everything and took care of him after he was released—from prison and the hospital. Adrian didn’t give up on him, but I did. And now I don’t know what to do because he seems like the old Luca, but I’ve still never forgiven him for what he did while that tumor was eating his brain. Forgiving him still seems like defeat.”

“But you still came back. That means something, doesn’t it? There’s still a chance you could forgive him after all this time.” Then her eyes wander across the floor in contemplation. “I don’t know if Colson can come back. I don’t think he’s dealt with the mental toll of what happened to him—to us. He disappeared after college, and now we barely hear from him. But when I went to Gunnison to see my dad, I found out what happened to him. He finally told me.”

“And what happened to him?”

It would be the first meaningful shred of information I’ve gotten about Colson since he went AWOL.

“It’s a girl.” Dallas’s voice gets more adamant. “He’s devastated over this girl and that’s why he ran off into the wilderness.”

“A girl,” I echo, unsure of what could possibly make Colson Lutz lose his shit over a woman.

“Do you remember why I called you that one night? Do you remember what Colson did that night I told you he had a nightmare about Evie?”

I shoot her a look, as if I would ever forget that.

“Colson was stalking her. He told me about following her everywhere, even to her hometown hundreds of miles away. I saw the pictures of her and the video he took when he snuck into her house!”

I give pause at that one.

“But then he told her about it, and she liked it. She liked that he was being a creepy fucking stalker! But then, one night, he had another nightmare and did the same thing to her that he did to me. Except, this time, it was worse, much worse. And then she left, never spoke to him again, and now he’s up there with the polar bears turning into a bitter shell of a human. But I found her, Alex. She still lives here, and I’m going to use her to bring him home.”

I narrow my eyes. “Use her how?”

Suddenly, there’s a sharp knock at the door. Immediately put on high alert, I maintain my calm demeanor and stroll across the dining room into the foyer. When I check the peep-hole, I can’t help but smile.

“What’s up, bruh?” I ask as I open the door.

“Apologies for the lateness of the hour,” Ezra greets me with a hint of amusement. “I just need to do a wellness check of sorts.”

I furrow my brow. “Wellness check?”

“Who’s in here with you?” Ezra asks, crossing his arms over his chest.

“My girl,” I reply, leaning against the doorframe.

“Mmm,” he nods, a smile tugging at his lips. “this wouldn’t be your boo from GalactiCon, would it? Would you be able to produce said girl?”

I peer at him through slitted eyes. “What for?”

Now he can’t contain his smile. He looks down the hallway, making sure no one is within earshot.

“Your neighbor, Felicity Stratton, was taking her dog out and said when she walked by your door, it sounded like a young woman was being brutally murdered and dismembered in your apartment.”

I should’ve known; Felicity Stratton and her $15,000 Yorkie with the $10,000 diamond studded collar. I’m surprised she even takes her dog out herself, as the wife of a supreme court justice who has her nose in everyone else’s business.

“That’s funny, the same sounds come from her apartment when she’s out of town for one of her Right to Life fundraisers.”

“Well, next time give me a call and I’ll be sure to notify her of any disturbances of the peace,” he chuckles. “In the meantime, I just need to confirm everyone in your residence is alive and unharmed.”

“Dallas,” I bite my bottom lip, trying not to laugh, “there’s someone here who needs to speak with you.”

A few seconds later, Dallas slowly peeks out from around the corner. When she sees Ezra in his black uniform and body armor, much like the kind I wear every day, she furrows her brow and shrinks back slightly. I shoot him a look to imply that he should hurry it up and not linger too long.

“Good evening, ma’am,” he nods. “I received a concern about your well-being, can I check on you?”

Dallas takes a small step around the corner, but remains partially obscured by the wall. “Yes, I’m alright,” she says softly.

Ezra nods and then turns to me with a smirk. “I should be asking you if she’s of legal age.”

At least he says it so she doesn’t hear. The last thing Dallas needs is someone implying she still looks like a kid just because of her size.

“She may not be able to rent a car, but she can purchase alcohol and eat more chicken wings than you any day of the week.”

“I don’t even want to know what that means,” Ezra turns away with a shake of his head and starts back down the hallway. “Have a good night, Barrera!”

I shut the door with a chuckle and head back into the apartment, but Dallas isn’t at the table where I left her. Instead, she’s standing across the living room next to the wall of windows, looking down at the container that Thatch brought all the way here.

“They’re called Gunnison’s Mariposa.”

Dallas glances over her shoulder at me, and then back down at the light purple flowers, blooming as if they knew she would be here to see them.

“ What? ” she murmurs barely loud enough for me to hear.

There’s a long silence after I take my seat at the table again, watching her from across the room.

“I thought AJ—” but she stops herself, still trying to wrap her mind around the fact that we are one and the same. “I thought you were Bowen because of that picture you sent me. The one of the flowers in the mural at JFK, because of the bluebonnets in it.”

“Those weren’t bluebonnets.”

“Yes,” she insists. “The blue flowers.”

“No, Dal,” I smile. “Those are bluebells and the mural was a photo some famous photographer took in Colorado. Bluebonnets grow in Texas. They can’t grow in Colorado.”

“How do you know all this?” she squints at me.

“Because,” I gaze at her against the dark backdrop of the night sky, “you’re from the valley, Mariposita, and now you’re finally home.”

She admires the flowers, carefully cultivated in their own delicate and controlled environment for this very purpose.

“This is the nerdiest thing I’ve ever seen,” she looks over her shoulder again, this time with a smile, “and I love it.”

“You would know,” I lean back in my chair and clasp my hands behind my head. “Remember what a nerd you were back then, when you begged me to sneak into your room and then tried to convince me that statutory rape was just an unfortunate conflict between culture and biology?”

“Good thing you didn’t listen to me,” Dallas giggles as she meanders back to the table.

Then she swings her leg over my knees and slides onto my lap. I reach down and pull the hem of my t-shirt up over her bare ass.

“It was such a buzzkill keeping you in line.”

“I still suck at Spanish, though.”

“I can still teach you. And with how well you learn from me, you could be fucking fluent by morning.”

She pulls me close as I trail soft kisses over her neck, gently pushing the shirt up her back.

“Teach me.”

I turn to speak in her ear. “ Te prometo, si no te doy ninos bonitos, me puedes azotar. ”

“ Te prometo, si…” she speaks carefully.

“Si no te doy ninos bonitos, ” I repeat.

“ Si no te doy ninos bonitos… ”

“ Me puedes azotar. ”

“ Me…puedes azotar, ” she finishes.

“Perfect,” I try to suppress my smile, but she catches the slight switch of my cheek.

Dallas furrows her brow with suspicion, “What?”

“Nothing.” I shake my head. “That was just for practice.”

“What did you make me say?” she asks through narrowed eyes.

“I’ll make you say a lot of things,” I twist my fingers through her hair at the back of her head and give it a tug backward, “and your ass will find out later if you don’t give me pretty babies.”

Her jaw drops and she tries to move, but I hold her firm, tracing the contours of her shoulder and then her collarbone with my lips. Gradually, she sinks into me, her muscles trembling with anticipation.

“I went up to the railroad bridge with him,” she suddenly says, “before I knew it was him. He waited until he—until we were…” she stops short, unable to articulate further.

I give a shake of my head and loosen my fingers in her hair. Pulling her tighter to my chest, I guide her face to mine and look her in the eyes.

“I’ll listen to whatever you want to tell me, but you don’t ever need to explain yourself.”

I know Dallas’s reasons for not telling anyone, probably better than anyone else. I saw what happened when Colson tried desperately to tell everyone about Bowen. I saw Canaan rally around Bowen and paint the Lutzes as a family with a grudge. I know what will happen to Dallas if she tries to follow the rules.

She flirted with him.

She wanted it.

She voluntarily went up to the railroad bridge with him.

Her family is still trying to pin her stepsister’s murder on him.

It was consensual… until it wasn’t.

And I will never let anyone put her through that.

Dallas rests her forehead against mine and lets out the breath she’s been holding all evening.

“I know what it’s like for your head to be trapped somewhere else. But did you know that your body’s already healing itself?”

“How?” she asks, tilting her head as my lips start moving back down her neck.

“Did you know that your skin cells regenerate every few years? Your body essentially sheds and purges itself of poison. He’s never going to get close to you ever again. I’ll kill him first. I already took some of his dick with me the last time I saw him.”

“ What? ” she hisses pulling back in disbelief.

“Why do you think you haven’t seen him lately?” I reply with a devilish smirk. “You think he decided to give you a break because he’s such a nice guy?”

“What did you do? ”

“Gave him a few notches to remember me by. Blood tax.”

Dallas scoffs in disbelief, but the corners of her mouth begin to curl in amusement.

“Whenever he thinks about you, he’s only going to remember the pain and his blood on my knife. And the only hands you’re going to feel on your skin ever again are mine . So, please don’t change who you are because of him.”

Even after all she’s been through, Dallas’s light has never gone out. She’s like the rain that comes in the spring after a dark and gloomy winter. And for as long as she lives, I’ll be her thunder and I will end anyone who tries to take her light from her ever again.

“Then I need you to fix something for me.”

“Anything.”

“If my skin is regenerating, it means that almost every part of me you touched years ago is gone.”

I smile up at her. “I’ll put my hands wherever you want, and maybe some places you don’t.”

She leans in until her nose brushes against mine. “I want your hands everywhere, especially the places I’ve never let anyone else touch.”

I continue sliding my t-shirt up over her hips, finally pulling the entire thing over her head and leaving her naked in my lap. Then I rock forward, grabbing her ass as I pick her up. Sweeping my elbow up the table, the empty plates clatter onto the glossy cement floor, replaced by Dallas’s wide hips and creamy skin stark against the inky black wood.

Mounting the table, I lodge my knees against her thighs, splaying her legs out at my hips. Spellbound, her eyes reflect the dim light like stars over deep blue waters. Running my hand up her torso to cup one of her tits, she rolls her hips against my groin, making my dick swell with each agonizing movement.

“Who have you been with, Dallas?” I ask, flicking her nipple piercing with my thumb.

She flinches with each motion. “You want names?”

“ What…kind…of…men? ” I enunciate each word.

“Blue collar gamers,” she trails her fingertip down my temple to my cheekbone, “especially the shy ones with glasses.”

I slide my hand up the inside of her thigh. “Where do you find them?” I ask, running my hand over her pussy, already slick with arousal.

“In shops looking at games and cards,” she moans, moving her hips with me. “The RPG players, not Call of Duty , Madden, or FIFA guys.”

She gives a quick, desperate nod and I slowly slide my finger inside her. “What do they play?” I ask as I slide in a second.

“ Mass Effect… ” she moans with each curl of my fingers against her wall.

“What else?”

“ Red—mmm… ” her legs spread wider with each stroke as she digs her nails into my shoulders. “ Red Dead Redemption. ”

“That sounds fun.” I gently pull them back out and reach down, taking out my dick to tease the edges of her pussy, dripping with anticipation. “Anything else?”

“ F-final Fantasy ,” she replies through trembling breaths.

Her muscles contract, pulsing as I position myself at her entrance. “Why are those the ones you like, Mama?”

“They play the right games. Bondage, breath play, edging…” her muscles tense and her eyes roll with need, “and they know how to win.”

Fuck… I could come just looking at her; back arched with her legs spread wide and those perfect tits of hers laid out beneath me like a sacred offering.

“All my favorite things. I guess I’ll be busy tonight, won’t I? Decimating the girl who can get through Sen’s Fortress in 10 minutes.”

“Eight,” she moans, clawing at my shoulder blades while I tease her with my tip.

“ No shit, ” I grin. “So, was it just a long train of disappointment or did you actually learn a few things?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” she sneers, trying so hard to recover for the sake of her pride, but failing miserably.

“ Mí Angelína, I already knew how you liked to be fucked long before I ever got my dick anywhere near you. And, still, you kept that ass for me after all this time.”

“How do you know?”

“Because you’re a little hellion. If you hadn’t, you’d have bragged to AJ about it.”

She still has it; that hateful little look she gets in her eye when she realizes she can’t win, that I figured her out a long time ago.

“You’re mine now, Carino. All of you. And I’m yours, so now if you decide to send me to prison, it won’t be because you’re underage.”

“ Please… ” she pleads in the same tone I heard six years ago.

“After you make me a promise,” I reply, pushing my tip past her edges before pulling back again.

“ What? ” she squeaks with desperation.

I rise up on my knees and gaze down at her shining waves of hair framing her face like an obsidian halo. Then I lift her hand and reach into my pocket to retrieve the final missing piece.

“That you’ll stay with me,” I slide the silver band mounted with a pear-shaped amethyst onto her finger, “and you’ll be my wife and my family.”

Dallas stares up at her fingers intertwined with mine, barely breathing as I sink back down and pin her wrists above her head on her soft blanket of hair. Cupping her face, I kiss her with so much intensity that I could melt right through her ribs and into the wood fibers.

“Say yes, Dal,” I murmur against her lips, “because I’ll never say no.”

“ Yes, ” she murmurs on her breath. “ Always yes. ”

She barely finishes the word before I thrust my hips forward and bury myself deep inside her. Her thighs clench at my waist and the air empties from her lungs in a short, high-pitched moan that only makes me want to fuck her harder and deeper.

“Harder, Mama?" I growl as I pull back.

“Harder!” she whimpers as I thrust hard and bottom out inside her.

“Because you can take it, can’t you? Because you’re the only woman who can handle me.” I turn to kiss her hand on the side of my face. “Because I was made for you.”

She gazes up at me with desperate eyes, drunk on dopamine and her chest heaving with desire. I crack a smile at the obscene wet sounds coming from her pussy as I dig in and stretch her more each time. Soon, her breaths get more hectic and I know she’s near the edge.

“Don’t fight me, Angelína. ”

“What?”

“I know you're about to come, I've already seen what happens right before you lose it,” I lean down, teasing her lips with my tongue, “ in that Pepto Bismol pink room, on top of your Squishmallows. ”

“ Alex, ” she moans as she fights the inevitable, “I want you to teach me to speak like you, so I can be part of your family— really part of your family.”

“Then start now. What’s your name?” I ask, thrusting deep.

She blinks, trying to focus. “Dallas—” she gasps when I pull back and drive into her again, this time deeper than the last.

Her eyes flutter as I feel her open wider for me and the tiny gasp as my hips hit hers. “What’s your name now?”

“Dallas Bar— mmm… ” her eyes roll as she tries to articulate the word.

I push her chin up with my thumb and look her in the eyes. “Tell me your name.” This time, my voice is slower and my tone sharper.

“ Dallas…Barrera… ”

I like the sound of that more than anything I’ve ever heard in my life, almost as much as the sounds she’s making with my dick pinning her to this table.

“Say it again,” I command.

She sucks in a sharp breath as the tension builds. Soon, she starts to clench around me, driving me to the edge right along with her.

“ Dallas, ” her voice hitches and she lets out a cry, “ Barrera! ”

My name rolling off her tongue is enough to make me spiral and lose all sense of rationality. She takes the onslaught, screaming for more while she drags my soul out of my body to keep for herself.

And I hope she never lets it go.