Page 40 of Sophie’s Ruin (Crimson and Shadows #2)

Iwatched him breathe shallowly. In and out.

In and out. My chest rose and fell, matching the rhythm.

I couldn’t get enough air into my lungs.

Good—I didn’t deserve it. I didn’t deserve to breathe the same air as he.

Nor did I deserve to be here. In Henry’s bedroom, with him lying still on his bed. I’d almost killed him…

A ragged sob escaped, and I clamped my hand over my mouth, my entire body shaking.

Isabelle shot me an annoyed look from where she sat by Henry’s bed.

“Pull yourself together. He’s alive. He’s healing.”

He was healing, thanks to her. She’d made sure he’d gotten enough blood in his system to speed up his stuttering heart to a steady rhythm.

She’d also cleaned him up and put him in his bed.

While she’d nursed Henry, Amelie had nursed me.

She’d helped me get up off the floor, shower, and change.

She’d also brewed some herbs to help soothe my nerves.

The concoction was supposed to help me sleep, but it hadn’t worked so far.

So, I’d stumbled on weak legs to Henry’s bedroom.

To my surprise, Isabelle had let me in and let me stay.

“I should leave,” I rasped, wiping away the tears that had never stopped streaming down my face.

I sat on a chair by the wall as far away from Henry’s bed as I could possibly get without leaving the bedroom.

“Don’t be ridiculous. He’d want you here,” Isabelle said in a clipped tone.

“Would he? Still want me here? After what I’d done—”

“Yes,” she cut me off. “He would. I have no doubt in my mind. He loves you, Sophie. Deeply, madly. Everyone can see it.”

“I love him, too,” I said in a hoarse voice. It felt wrong saying the words after what I’d done.

“I know. Everyone can see that, too. And it was because of that love that you went unhinged,” she said simply. “Look, I’m not going to excuse your behavior, but I know one thing for certain—what happened is not going to change Henry’s feelings for you.”

“It’s not?” I asked, my voice dropping to a whisper.

“No. Don’t be silly. Now, I am still very much furious with you. I wanted to rip out your throat in the cellar…” Her big eyes fastened on me. Staring back, I swallowed thickly. “But I knew if I killed you, I would incur his wrath after he’d healed.”

Without saying another word, she turned back to Henry, and we sat in silence for a few minutes as the tears gliding down my cheeks slowed.

I hoped Isabelle was right, and that what I’d done wouldn’t change Henry’s feelings for me.

When I’d almost killed him, something inside me had snapped, like a lid shutting closed on a chest, locking the darkness away.

There was no room for it inside me anymore.

There was no room for anything but despair and utter desolation because I’d thought I’d lost him.

It was because of the darkness that I’d hurt him.

The shadows were not my allies. They were evil—the darkest, vilest type.

I couldn’t believe I hadn’t seen that before.

I’d been blind, but I could see clearly now. I just prayed it wasn’t too late.

The bedroom door creaked open, pulling me from my thoughts, and a second later, Wren walked in. His pale-blue eyes immediately locked on Isabelle.

“Do you need anything?” he asked her. When she gave a small shake of her head, his gaze slid to Henry, and his jaw tightened.

Slowly, he turned his head to look at me.

“How are you holding up? Do you need anything?” he asked low.

“A way to turn back time,” I said quietly.

Wren’s gaze softened.

“I know a thing or two about wishing you could change the past,” he told me with a wistful smile.

And I supposed he did know. I’d been so eager to condemn him in the past. Now, I was the one who deserved condemnation.

Yet, he was choosing a different way—compassion.

“We can’t go back and change the past. We can only hope for redemption. ”

I stared at him, speechless. It seemed he didn’t expect me to say anything anyway, because with one last glance at Isabelle, he slipped out of the bedroom.

Isabelle’s gaze lingered on the door long after it had closed behind Wren.

“You and Wren…” I started, if only to distract myself from the thoughts of what might happen when Henry woke up.

“Are doomed,” Isabelle interjected, her gaze fixing on me.

“What?” My brows wrinkled.

“Rule number one of being a vampire. Don’t get close to anyone, because time will take them away,” Isabelle said, matter-of-fact.

I stared at her in disbelief. Was that why she was so cold? She couldn’t get hurt if she never let anyone get close.

She rolled her eyes. “I know you think that I’m heartless.”

“I don’t—”

She arched a brow with a skeptical look.

“Well, not anymore,” I told her. “Things have changed between us,” I said hesitantly, looking for confirmation from her. We’d begun growing closer when Henry had been taken by the clans. I hoped that what I’d done would not undo the progress we’d made in our friendship.

“They have,” she agreed, after a beat of silence, and I let out a breath of relief.

“You saved Henry, and I am grateful for that. You went deranged and then almost killed him after you’d saved him, but I suppose we all make mistakes.

” Her gaze returned to the bedroom door, and I knew she wasn’t just talking about me but also about Wren.

“So, you and Wren?” I prompted again.

“Are temporary.” She cast her gaze to the ground.

“You don’t have to be,” I said softly. “Wren had asked me before if turning into a vampire was worth it.”

Isabelle’s gaze shot back up to mine.

“Why would he ask you that?” she asked quietly, and held her breath as if she already knew the answer.

“Why do you think?” I gave her a pointed look.

A hint of a smile pulled at her lips as her gaze drew distant. I wondered if she was imagining her life with Wren—her very long, eternal life.

Suddenly, the corners of her mouth turned down, and her forehead creased.

“No. I will not turn him if his only reason for wanting to become a vampire is to be with me.”

“Why not?” I challenged, a moment before understanding dawned on me. “Unless you don’t believe in you and Wren. You don’t want to shackle him to you for all eternity.”

“Eternity is a long time to be with someone,” she countered.

“It is,” I agreed.

“Yet, you are sure you want to spend it with my brother,” she said, her eyes searching my face. If she was looking for any hint of hesitation, she wouldn’t find it.

“I am.”

“How do you know?” Now, her look was incredulous. How would I know? The question was implied.

“I just know.” I shrugged.

Isabelle lifted one brow, silently demanding more of an explanation.

“Because eternity means nothing if I’m not with him,” I said with a heavy sigh.

“Because even if I die tomorrow, I would die happy and with no regrets, knowing that I’d spent the time I had by his side, loving him…

” My voice broke—I’d never told him. He’d told me he loved me, and I’d told him it wasn’t enough.

“He will be okay,” Isabelle said, her eyes flicking over my features.

Her gaze returned to Henry, and I could see the love for her brother shining through on her heart-shaped face.

“You’ve never told me how you joined the clan,” I prompted, curious about how she’d become one of the Duvals.

“I haven’t, have I?” Isabelle said, looking back at me. “To be fair, we weren’t speaking much until only a few nights ago,” she pointed out.

“Why is that?” I asked, seeing no reason to tiptoe around the subject. “I knew you didn’t like me when I was Henry’s vassal, but I hoped it would change when he turned me. But it didn’t. You shut me out.”

“I did, and if you expect an apology, you will not get it.”

“I don’t want an apology, just an explanation.”

Isabelle swallowed.

“After you were turned, Henry was spending all of his time with you…”

“I was a new vampire, I needed guidance…”

“I know, but I was jealous…and scared.”

“Scared?”

“I could see the way Henry was looking at you. The way he was acting around you. In you, he had found his mate. Someone to share his everlasting nights with. I knew because I’d seen that before…

Vincent and Rosalind had been like that before she died.

When you were around them, it always felt like they were one, moving in unison.

They existed for each other. They were just gracious enough to welcome others into their circle.

And when I saw that look in Henry’s eyes directed toward you…

fear set in, that you would take him away from me.

That it would no longer be he and I. It would be you and him, and I would be cast aside. ”

“No,” I told her vehemently, sitting up straighter in my chair. “That’s not what I want. I would never allow that to happen. I want us to be a family. All three of us.”

“Four.” The word seemed to have escaped unintentionally, and Isabelle’s eyes widened as she caught herself.

“What?” I asked quietly. I had a feeling I knew what she’d meant, but I wanted to nudge her gently toward her own realization. After a moment, it washed over her face as shock, but also awe and wonder.

“Four of us,” Isabelle said with a small smile. “You, me, Henry, and Wren.”

“Four of us then.” I gave an answering smile, but it was fleeting, as the corners of my mouth turned down. I didn’t know if Henry would still have me when he woke up.

“I can see what you’re thinking, and you need to stop,” Isabelle said sternly. “When Henry wakes up, he’ll be overjoyed to see you here, and you two will be able to put the past few nights behind you.”

“Do you truly believe that?”

“I do.” Isabelle nodded. “That’s what Vincent would have done for Rosalind, and we both know Henry is a lot like his father.”

“You were going to tell me how you joined the Duval clan?” I prompted again.