Page 85 of Song of the Caged Duchess
At least I haven’t lost everybody. At least Caroline still cares for me.
But even though she felt relieved, Esther also felt a stab of guilt and shame. Yes, her sister cared for her. She was the only one who did. And Esther had just let her down terribly.
What if Caroline’s prospects have disappeared? What if this really does mean she won’t be able to have a Season of her own? What if she never marries—and it’s all my fault?
Esther did her best to keep her worries from showing on her face. Caroline was so young, after all, and she certainly didn’t need to concern herself with these things yet. There would be plenty of time for that when she was older.
Still, there was a part of Esther that wanted to retreat up to her bedchamber, crawl back into bed, and never show her face again.
Caroline’s life might be ruined. And if it is, it’s entirely my fault.
Oblivious to her sister’s thoughts, Caroline took a seat at the table. “May I have some eggs too, please?” she said to a passing servant. Then she turned back to Esther. “So that’s why Mother and Father are angry?” she asked. “Because you came home before they wanted you to?”
Esther nodded. “Though it certainly wasn’t my wish to do so,” she said. “Had I been given a choice in the matter, I would still be in London. It was Aunt Tabitha who decided to send me away.”
“Aunt Tabitha only cares for herself,” Caroline said wisely. “She disguises it by acting as though everything she does is for Eugenia. But really, it’s all about her.”
“You’re very clever, you know,” Esther said.
Caroline smiled impishly. “I know that,” she said.
“Caroline!”
Both sisters turned to face the still open door. Their mother stood there, looking absolutely furious.
“I specifically instructed you to remain in your room this morning,” their mother said, her eyes narrowed. “Did you not understand my meaning?”
“But I did stay in my room,” Caroline protested. “I’ve been there for hours, Mother. Did you intend that I should stay there all day?
“I intended that you should stay there until I came to get you, which I feel sure you understand. You’re not a simpleton.”
“Mother,” Esther interrupted. “Caroline just came down to—”
Her mother whirled on her. “No, Esther. Don’t you speak to me. Don’t you try to argue. Not after all the trouble you’ve caused. There’s nothing you have to say that I want to hear.”
Esther’s eyes widened. She had expected an uncomfortable morning, but she hadn’t anticipated that it would be this bad.
“Caroline,” her mother said sharply. “Back to your room at once. And I don’t want to see you again until dinner time. Is that clear?”
“Dinner?” Caroline protested. “You mean, I’m to spend all day in my room? But I’ve done nothing wrong!”
“It’s me you’re angry with, Mother,” Esther said. “Don’t take it out on Caroline.”
“Go, Caroline,” their mother snapped.
Caroline scurried away.
“You didn’t need to send her away,” Esther said. “I haven’t seen her since—”
“Stop,” her mother interrupted. “Stop talking, Esther. I meant it when I said that. I don’t want to hear from you today. I want you to listen to me.”
“But Mother—”
“No. Enough.” Her mother now took the chair that Caroline had vacated and stared across the table at Esther. “Do you understand the seriousness of what you’ve done? Your father can’t even bear to see you. He’s refusing to leave his study. And you’re not to bother him there.”
“It wasn’t my fault,” Esther said. “And I have no interest in talking to Father if he doesn’t want to talk to me. Mother, I thought you would be on my side for once. I thought you would understand.”
“You have never taken this seriously,” her mother said.
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