Page 15

Shiri

T he reception in Malvolia’s throne room was pathetic, a sad tribute to a queen’s familiar. Only a handful of Malvolia’s guards were present, standing around a buffet of food and wine that could’ve served an entire village. I saw none of her lovers or usual courtesans. Though I hadn’t cared for the flesh-eating monster, Mortimus deserved better for his loyalty to the queen.

The girls didn’t seem to mind the lack of people, for they had the tiered trays of tarts to themselves. They’d already kicked off their shoes, piled tarts they’d never finish onto a platter, and sat at the base of Malvolia’s throne, as if they were curled up in front of the hearth at our old cabin.

Tari clucked her tongue. This is pathetic , she projected to me.

I winced. Yeah.

“You there!” Mother clutched a goblet of wine, her face draped in that perpetual scowl while she marched toward a hapless servant. “Where did the queen go?”

The servant backed up, nearly tripping over her own feet and dropping a platter of fruit. “To her rooms, Your Highness.”

Mother turned to us, her eyes flaring with aggravation. “She couldn’t even stay for her familiar’s reception?”

I snatched a goblet of wine from the buffet, mumbling between sips. “I’m sure she has her reasons.” The wine tasted as flat as the reception.

My breath hitched when a winged guard slipped into the room and headed straight for me, determination written in his furrowed brow. He stopped in front of me, bowing slightly before motioning toward the door behind him. “Princess Shirina, Queen Malvolia summons you.”

Mother rolled her eyes to the ceiling. “What does she want now?”

I set the nearly full wine goblet on the buffet and pushed past my mother. “I guess I’ll find out.”

Do you want us to go with you? Tari projected.

No , I answered. I can handle her. Besides, I didn’t want Tari anywhere near our aunt after their last altercation.

I walked past the girls, giving them a wink when they smiled up at me. Shoulders pressed together, they giggled and licked cherry filling off their fingers. Sharing an inside joke, no doubt. My heart ached when I thought of them ever becoming enemies, like Malvolia and my mother. I gave my family one last lingering look before following the guard out the door.

The guard left me at the entrance to my aunt’s bedchamber, shutting the door behind me. I was surprised to see no servants in her living quarters. When I spied the dirty dishes with untouched food piled on the buffet and clothes strewn about the floor, I realized the servants hadn’t been permitted in her suite for a long time.

I followed the sound of splashing water until I found Malvolia alone in her bathing chamber. She was in the same tub she’d used to kill the mage, Djall, boiling him alive with her magic. Bubbles spilled over the rim, and she had one leg kicked over the side while she nursed a goblet of wine. I had to force myself to shut my jaw when I spied a collection of glass and stone penises of all shapes and colors lining a shelf beside the tub. So she’d chosen masturbation over her virile male lovers? I wasn’t trying to judge her new lifestyle, but I’d rather my aunt keep a trio of young lovers than find pleasure alone. This wasn’t a sexual preference, but her attempt to isolate everyone from her life. I was honestly surprised she’d called for me.

I cleared my throat, struggling to find my voice while smoothing my hands down my skirts. “Aunt, you summoned me?”

She kept her vacant gaze focused on the wall in front of her rather than looking in my direction. “The refugees are in a holding area. My soldiers will summon you soon to test them for demons.”

“Thank you, Aunt,” I said, relieved she’d let them in while also feeling ten shades of selfish for forgetting about the refugees. At least she hadn’t. “My condolences on losing Mortimus.”

She set the goblet down and draped her arms over the side of the tub. “Thank you, Shirina.”

My gaze drifted to those penises again, especially the giant, double-headed purple one with the ridges that looked big enough to split open my womb. And then I saw a long, pale one with the letter H carved into it. It sat in a cradle shaped like a dragon’s paw, and I was very glad Tari hadn’t come with me. “Is that all?”

She continued to stare vacantly at that wall. “Yes.”

“The rest of the family is at the reception,” I blurted. “Should I tell them you’re not coming?” I don’t know why I was trying to continue our conversation. She obviously wanted to be alone, and I couldn’t deny my discomfort with her phallic toys in my direct line of vision.

“I’m sure they’re anxious to leave.” Malvolia clutched the side of the tub, her mouth twisted. “No doubt Flora is complaining the loudest. She’ll take any chance to twist that blade in my heart.”

“Well,” I said, doing my best to keep the censure from my voice while wondering why I needed to defend my mother, “you’re not there.”

She grabbed her wine goblet again, downing several swallows before letting out a very un-queen-like belch. “I prefer to mourn Mortimus alone.”

I took a step back. “Of course.” I had to get out of there. Those three, thick bronzed toys on the end looked just like they belonged to my mates. It was probably a coincidence. No doubt, many Ravini males had similar anatomy.

I was just about to excuse myself when she asked, “Has your mother apologized yet?”

I arched a brow. “For?”

Malvolia finally looked at me. Her eyes were bloodshot, from crying, imbibing, or both. “For the way she’s treated you.”

Not knowing what to do with my hands, I folded them in front of me. “No.” I regretted telling her that my mother thought I’d turn evil.

“And she won’t unless you force her.” Malvolia set down the goblet and leaned back in her tub with a groan. “Flora doesn’t like admitting her mistakes.”

Wow. How could someone be so ignorant to their own flaws?

“And what about you? Will you admit when you’ve made a mistake?”

She gave me a dismissive wave. “I’ve already apologized to you and your mother for believing Thorin’s lies.”

I cleared my throat. “And what about Daminica?”

She opened her eyes, leering at me from beneath thick lashes. “What about her?”

The indifference in which she spoke about Daminica made my blood boil. I curled my hands into claws, very tempted to kill my aunt the same way she’d killed Djall. Wouldn’t it be fitting? I enunciated each word slowly. “You. Killed. Her.”

The bitch actually had the nerve to laugh. “She broke the law.”

“But did she need to die?” Emotion clogged my throat, and I mourned not just Daminica, but my aunt’s blackened soul. I’d been so foolish when last I’d stayed with her, for there had been a small part of me that thought I could change her, that she could become a kind witch once again. But no. She was born evil and would die evil. I swiped moisture from my eyes. “She was a healer, and a kind witch.”

My aunt reached for her wine again, downing the last of it before tossing the goblet in the corner of her bathing room. It clanked when it struck a pile of about a dozen other empty goblets. “She and Veronica kept secrets from me.”

“Aunt, I know you’re grieving, but—”

“You know nothing of my grief!” She shot up in the tub, water sloshing everywhere as black magic leached from her eyes. “You have three mates and a dragon familiar, plus a sister who actually loves you.”

And there it was. The root of her evil. She was jealous because she no longer had Flora’s love. It was the real reason why she’d killed Daminica, because the kind witch and Lady Veronica shared what Malvolia had longed for—a sisterhood.

“You think I’m not going mad with grief?” I clutched my aching chest, rage clouding my vision. “I still can’t get the demon out of Drae, and his soul could already be lost to me.” My voice cracked and splintered, mirroring the fissures in my heart. “I don’t know if Nikkos and Blaze are alive.”

She lay back in her tub with a disgusted snort. “You also have Ember and Aurora.”

“And you have two nieces, too,” I hissed, “but you’re driving Tari away.”

She sneered at me while snatching a wine bottle off the shelf. “Your mother has already turned her against me.”

I stared eye daggers into her chest when she flashed a smug smile. “And you don’t help by flirting with Helian.”

“I share my lovers.” She trailed her fingers down the side of the bottle like she was teasing a man’s penis. “Why can’t she?”

Realization struck, and I finally understood why she antagonized Tari. She wanted my sister to kill her, so she could join Mortimus in the afterlife. She had no right to take the easy way out while we faced these demons without her help.

I slowly unclenched my hands when I felt nails pierce my skin. “Helian is her fated mate.”

Slamming the wine bottle on the shelf, she let out another aggravated groan. “If you’re finished lecturing me, I’d like to grieve my familiar in peace.”

I repressed a curse while taking a step back. “Of course.”

“Close the doors behind you,” she said while grabbing the Helian penis off the shelf and spreading her legs.

I turned on my heels and hurried out of there before I saw what she did with that toy. I’d never been more disgusted by another Fae in my life, and I almost wished Tari would kill her and put us out of our misery.

* * *

Shiri

O F COURSE, MY FAMILY didn’t wait around at the reception. I found them on the balcony at our suite of rooms. My mother and Marius were surprisingly there, along with Helian’s mother and her lover, Gadea. They sat beneath the moonlight, the cool northern air blowing back their hair while the dragons flew overhead.

Are you all right, Goddess? Isa called down to me through thought.

Of course , I answered, grateful she wasn’t still angry with me from earlier. You?

Bored , she answered while soaring in a slow circle. I want to kill demons.

You may regret that wish soon enough , I warned.

I’m tired of regrets. I’ve had nothing but regrets for twenty-four years.

I swallowed at that, not knowing what else to say. I couldn’t imagine what living almost a quarter of a century without her mate had felt like and prayed I’d never know.

I had just sat down on a bench beside Tari when our mother crossed over to me, her mouth twisted into a scowl that had become a permanent feature on her face. She impatiently tapped her foot while crossing her arms. “What did the bitch want?”

Ahh, so that’s why she’d stayed, to get the latest gossip about her sister. “To tell me that her soldiers will come get me to check the refugees for demons,” I drawled, trying to keep my tone even.

Tari turned to me, her eyes lighting up. “The ones that were outside the wall?”

“Yes,” I answered, smiling when she took my hand. “I guess I convinced her to let them in.”

She toyed with the lace on my sleeve. “You’re the only one she listens to.”

Our mother let out an obnoxious snort. “Keep kissing up to her, and she may make you her heir.”

Tension straightened my spine. Was that what she thought I was doing? “She already has, and I’m not kissing up.” No. I was trying to keep the peace between our family.

Mother arched a brow. “Oh?”

I heaved a weary, strained breath while wishing the stays on my bodice gave me a bit more breathing room. “I know you hate her, but I wish you’d try to get along. We need her help to defeat the demons.”

Mother tossed her hands in the air. “I can’t believe you’re siding with that bitch!”

“I’m not siding with anyone.” My voice rose and cracked, just like the many times I’d had to defend my actions to my mother. I was so tired of spinning my wheels with her. “I’m siding against the demons. I thought we all were.”

We are, sister , Tari projected to me. Don’t let her get to you.

“I’m bored.” Aurora fell against her mother’s legs, looking up at her with big, pleading eyes. “I want to go to the nursery to get more toys.”

I noticed the impressive collection of toys already piled behind her, though decided against saying anything while reminding myself this was Tari’s job now.

Clutching her stomach, Tari slumped in her seat. “Mommy is exhausted, girls.”

“We can take them,” Mother said.

Aurora scowled up at her grandmother, then quickly crossed to Helian, who was sitting at a nearby table with Lady Cassandra and Gadea. “Can you take us, Uncle Helian?”

Mother’s jaw dropped, indignation flashing in her eyes. “What’s wrong with Yaya and Pappo?”

I caught Marius’s eye as he stood quietly behind Mother and quickly looked away when his gaze turned sympathetic.

“Come, Aurora.” Mother crossed over to Aurora and held down her hand. “I’ll help you find a pretty doll.”

Loudly clearing her throat, Tari sat up straight while still clutching her gut. “The girls don’t go anywhere without me or Shiri.”

Mother’s features fell, and she looked at Tari as if she’d just eaten the last of the stale porridge. “You don’t trust us?”

“I don’t trust demons,” Tari corrected.

“I don’t want a doll,” Aurora blurted, stomping a foot.

“Really?” Mother knelt beside her, taking Aurora’s hand. “I saw you admiring your sister’s dolls.”

Aurora jerked out of her grandmother’s grasp. “I didn’t say I wanted one. I like my dragons.”

Mother slanted a smile, her eyes narrowing as if she didn’t believe her. “Oh?”

Watching our mother belittle Aurora made my last thread of patience snap. Anger tightened my chest as I jumped to my feet. “You never understood her.”

Mother stood, straightening her skirts and turning up her chin. “I did.”

“You didn’t,” I blurted, twenty-three years of bottled frustration bubbling up like an overflowing cauldron. “You purposely avoided bonding with her, just like you did with me.” My voice rose with each word, and the chatter around us fell silent as my gaze tunneled on my mother, the one person who should have loved me above all else.

Mother’s eyes flared. “That’s unfair, Shiri.”

Very aware that everyone was now staring at me, I worked hard to speak through a constricted throat. I’d waited a lifetime to tell my mother how I felt, and I wasn’t about to squander it. “Do you know how many nights I fell asleep crying because my mother didn’t love me?”

“I loved you.” Her glossy eyes shone beneath the moonlight. “I was just...afraid of you.”

I swiped at my eyes before letting the tears fall. She didn’t deserve to see me cry. “You thought I’d become evil like Malvolia.”

“Because Thorin tricked me!” Clutching her chest, her voice rose and cracked. “He had me convinced you’d turn out like her. She slaughtered thousands of innocents!” Her eyes turned feral as she waved her hands. “She hunted us like we were animals!”

I refused to take pity on her. “You don’t need to remind me what she did. Tari and I were living in fear and squalor alongside you.” I paused, swallowing back my sorrow while summoning the nerve to reveal the very darkest parts of my heart as I suddenly became that lonely little girl once more. “Though, at least Tari had a mother’s love to get her through the worst times. I had nothing but a hollow stomach, Tari’s pity, and Father Derrick’s cautious kindness when he wasn’t away.”

Tari stood beside me, gently rubbing my back. I dared not look at Marius, though I felt him stoically hovering just out of my line of vision. I didn’t want to know what he thought of all this, because it would crush me if he sympathized with my mother.

Mother’s features fell as she splayed her hands in front of her in a gesture of surrender. “Shiri, I’m sorry.”

Grateful for Tari’s hand on my back, I swiped away more tears. “I was a dutiful daughter, a kind sister, and a loving aunt, and you still only saw the worst in me.”

Mother visibly swallowed. “I see you now.”

Those shadows in my heart retreated for just a contraction, then eclipsed me once again. “Do you?”

“I do.” A tear slid down her cheek.

I wanted to tell her she had no right to cry. That I refused to take pity on her. “Hmph. Maybe instead of pointing fingers at Malvolia, you should look inward.”

She clutched her chest, her body bowing like she carried Isa’s weight on her shoulders. “I am looking inward.”

I glared at her through hooded eyes. “And do you like what you see?”

“No.” More tears spilled over her eyes.

What a fool I was to feel sorry for her, though maybe my pity was a testament to a future where I wouldn’t turn out evil like my aunt. I pounded my chest as moisture flooded my eyes. “I have a huge hole in my heart where your love should’ve been.”

She extended a hand toward me. “Let me fill it now.”

I took a step back, mindful of Tari behind me. “I’m not sure you can.”

Eyes filled with longing, she took a step toward me. “I can try if you’ll let me.”

“I have to stop the demons.” Wiping my tears with the backs of my hands, I sucked in a breath, forcing myself to bottle all those overwhelming feelings of childhood rejection and longing, the many nights I wrapped my arms around myself, pretending my mother was hugging me instead of Tari. “I don’t have time to redo my childhood.”

She clasped her hands in a pleading pose. “Then, what can I do?”

I imagined myself putting a lid on those tumultuous emotions, locking them away with a key. “You can stop causing strife with Malvolia. I’m trying to prepare for war.” I infused a note of censure in my voice, pretending I was scolding a child. “Yet, how can I focus when I’m distracted by your bickering?”

“Okay. I’ll stop.” She vehemently nodded as the last of the tears staining her cheeks began to dry. “Anything else?”

I wasn’t so sure I liked or trusted this version of my mother. Did she truly want to love me now, after all this time? I cast a cautious glance in Marius’s direction, noting his unreadable features, and wondered if he’d instructed my mother to be kind.

My shoulders fell at the thought. “No.”

“I really do love you, Shirina.” Mother twisted her fingers as more tears spilled over. “I’ve always loved you, even when I didn’t trust you. Thorin might have altered my memories, but he couldn’t change my heart. I’m sorry I was too afraid to show it.”

“This is why you can’t summon your siren’s song.”

I gaped at Gadea as she watched me from across her seat at the table while nursing a goblet of wine. “What?”

Gadea and Cassandra shared a look before Cassandra answered, “In the Book of Demon Spells , it says the song must be sung by a siren with a pure heart, but pure didn’t mean to demons what it means to us. The interpretation would be closer to an unbroken heart.”

My knees threatened to give way, and I was barely aware of Tari grasping my elbow. “S-so because my heart is broken, I can’t sing the song?”

Cassandra frowned. “I’m afraid so. You must find a way to mend it.”

“I can’t.” I shook my head, tears spilling over my eyes. “Not without my mates.”

Mother stepped toward me, holding out her hands. “Shiri, let me help you.”

“No, Mother.” I backed away. “You’re too late.” I didn’t want her. I wanted Drae, Blaze, and Nikkos.

“Princess Shirina,” a loud voice boomed.

I spun around as three firemages landed behind me. They each bowed before one of them stepped forward, handing me a scroll bearing Malvolia’s official winged flame seal.

“Yes?” I asked as I broke the seal on the scroll.

“You’ve been summoned by the captain of the queen’s guard to check the new arrivals for demons,” the firemage said.

I quickly glanced at the scroll, wondering why Malvolia had suddenly become so official. Was this part of her withdrawal from everyone? “Of course.” I turned, facing my family. “If you all would excuse me.”

“Do you want me to come with you, sister?” Tari asked.

“No.” I cupped her cheek, frowning at the shadows beneath her eyes. “Get some rest. I’ll be fine.”

“I don’t want you going alone,” Mother blurted.

I scowled at her, hating that I didn’t know if she was sincere or putting on a show for Marius. I motioned toward the firemages behind me. “I’ll have my guards.”

Marius cleared his throat, stepping forward. “I’ll go with her.”

My heart did a backflip when I looked into his kind, yet sad dark eyes. “I don’t think Mother can spare you.”

“Of course, I can.” Mother’s voice cracked like old parchment. “Who better to protect you than your father?”

I flashed my father an appreciative smile, pleased when he smiled back. “Okay.”

I took a step forward when he held out his arms but was nearly knocked back by Aurora, who plowed into my legs. “I love you, Auntie.”

Tears sprang to my eyes as I knelt beside her, my heart sighing in contentment when she wrapped her little arms around my neck. I squeezed her back, relieved that she understood the whirlwind of feelings crushing my chest, while also saddened that we shared this connection. “And I love you so very much.”

* * *

Shiri

A FTER TARI EXTRICATED Aurora from my legs, I gave her one last kiss, then kissed Ember and playfully tugged on one of her braids. “Be good for your mother. It’s almost time for bed,” I warned, wagging a finger. “And no whining.”

“Yes, Auntie,” they said while holding their mother’s hands.

The three firemages patiently waited while I went to Marius. I had no idea what to do. It had been ages since Father Derrick had flown me anywhere. It was easy with my mates, for I couldn’t keep my hands off them, anyway. But what was I supposed to do with Marius? Jump into his arms?

His wings snapped open as he slanted a smile. “Hold on tight,” he said before sweeping me into his arms.

I held his neck, realizing he’d gained muscles in his back and his wings looked fuller. He must’ve been practicing flying. It warmed my heart to see him so healthy. “Thank you, Father,” I whispered, very aware of my mother staring at us, “but I feel bad taking you away from Mother and Father Derrick.”

“Don’t,” he said, ruffling his wings. “I’d rather be with you, and now that my wings are stronger, I’ll take any excuse to fly.”

He’d rather be with me? I resisted the urge to look over my shoulder and see if my mother had heard him, but I could practically feel her breathing down my neck, so I knew she had. I should’ve been glad that Marius wanted to spend time with me, but I worried my mother would resent me for it.

Goddess, where are you going? Isa’s voice rang in my head as she circled above me.

To check the refugees for demons , I answered.

Do you need me to carry you?

My father volunteered. I’d rather you kept watch over Tari and the children , I said as my father jumped into the air, his powerful wings blowing back my hair.

As you wish , she answered flatly.

Thank you, Isa , I said, while clinging to my father, hoping I hadn’t insulted her. I still had a lot to learn about her, especially how to not offend her. I appreciate you.

I smiled when the sound of a dragon’s purr echoed in my mind.

“Princess Shirina,” one of the firemages called over his shoulder as we rose higher into the air, just underneath the dragons’ bellies, “we are to accompany you to the Eastern wall where the refugees are being held.”

I nodded my understanding. “Good. Let’s go.”

We flew swiftly past Malvolia’s castle with pointy turrets and over the city with tall brick buildings that gave way to homes with thatched roofs and lantern lights lining winding cobblestone streets.

When Marius adjusted me in his arms, I rested my head against his shoulder, and I was reminded of the times Father Derrick would take me flying from treetop to treetop. Though he hadn’t taken me often, I’d relished each experience, not just to feel the wind in my hair, but because I was rarely held by my parents.

“How many years I’ve longed to hold you in my arms like this,” Marius said, frowning. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you when you were growing up.”

I tightened my hold on him, looking into his brown eyes swirling with flecks of gold. “It wasn’t your fault.”

He flashed a sad smile. “I would’ve held you in my arms every night.” He swallowed, looking down at me as if he carried a chest of treasure. “I never gave a damn about the prophecies.”

“Thank you.” Tears stung the backs of my eyes as my throat constricted. “You have no idea what that means to me.”

“When this war is over, I want to spend time with you. If you don’t want to come to Elisi, I will come to you wherever you are...” He paused, his voice thick with emotion. “If you’ll have me.”

“Of course, I’ll have you.” How I’d love to spend time getting to know Father Marius. Hopefully, he’d come alone, though I doubted my mother would let him off her leash long enough.

“When Malvolia took my sight,” he continued, his voice taking on a wistful edge, “I would dream of your faces. I pictured you looking very much like Ember and Aurora.”

“We did look a lot like them,” I said with a smile. “Though we didn’t have their sharp canines.” That, they’d inherited from their shifter fathers. I thought their pointy little teeth made their smiles even cuter, though I knew those fangs would become deadly as they grew older.

Marius loudly cleared his throat as we passed over a copse of trees, rapidly approaching the other side of the tall wall that circled the city. “Those dreams, and the love I felt for the little girls I longed to hold, kept me alive.”

“Oh, Father.” I felt as if a giant had seized my chest in its meaty fist when tears spilled over Marius’s eyes.

“I love you, darling child,” he continued, the flapping of his wings slowing while we descended, “more than words can express.”

I sighed when we hovered over a building that looked like a big meeting house. I wasn’t ready for this flight to end. There was still so much I had to say to my father. “I love you,” I rasped, too choked up to say more as tears slipped down my cheeks.

We landed, and he set me on my feet before wiping my tears with his thumbs. He grasped my shoulders, searching my eyes. “No more tears, darling. After you check these Fae for demons, we’ll return to the castle and try to get those demons out of our family.”

When I made to protest, he held out a silencing hand. “I have faith you can do it, Shiri. You’ve already overcome so much.” He grabbed my hand, entwining his fingers through mine, his smile warm and loving. “There’s nothing you can’t do if you trust in your heart.”

Squeezing his hand, I released a slow breath and let his words sink in. He was right. I could do this. I had to do this. Failure wasn’t an option when Drae’s soul was depending on me.