Page 8 of Something Like Sugar (Pine Forest Something #2)

DUSTIN

FOURTEEN YEARS AGO

I peel my body away even as it feels wrong, and I exhale to ground myself.

It doesn’t matter what we want.

I permanently blinded someone, and I’ve given two others irreparable brain damage, a shoulder injury…

I stopped listening to the list after the page flipped, the complete statement of damages needing a staple for its length.

And it’s not my defense that’s the problem; the fuckers deserved every swing.

I can’t stop myself ; that’s the problem.

When I see someone harming an innocent, something in me snaps. Punches become hammers and kicks become stomps. Their face is my face. And my hand is my father’s.

She sucks in a breath, and my heart breaks in two as tears roll down her cheeks.

“Shay, I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just…you and I—”

“You and I, what?” She wipes her face with the back of her hand.

“L-look, I got caught up. I never should have kissed you.”

“What?” Her voice breaks, the shards slicing through me.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you. You’re perfect, but—”

“But what?” She grinds out, forcing back tears I wish weren’t put there by me.

“But you’re you,” I say.

“What does that even mean, Dustin? I’m me ?

I’m what? I’m too young? I’m your sister’s best friend?

I’m not a blonde haired, blue eyed, honeycomb like your usual girlfriends?

Or am I just ugly, Dustin? Is that why you weren’t at the formal?

You looked me in the eyes by my mother’s grave and asked me to save you a dance! ”

‘Walking liability!

Sorry excuse for a son!

“If you don’t want to go out with me, just say it, Dustin.”

Nothing could be further from the truth.

I take her hand and hold it against my heart, because if she won’t hear me, I need her to feel what she does.

Even if I can’t be with her.

Even if she’ll never understand.

“Shana Holiday, you light my entire world. You’re the moon in an eclipse. When you stand in my path, you are the only thing I see. Always.”